Staring Out My Window

Half moon outside my window. Winds are blowing through both windows. Rustle of trees breaks the silence. Fan is circulating air in the room. Eyes are watering and my sinus are acting up.  Scented candles are going but I can’t smell anything. Tomorrow is game night and I am not sure who is going to win. Kevin said last week, this should be for the Golden League Division Championship. 

Streets are quiet tonight, though.  No one is walking. No dogs are barking. Cars are all parked on the streets and the drive ways. Green, blue, and gray bins are outside the streets waiting to be picked up for Friday rounds.

Its nothing like living in the big city. Would stare outside and listen to the party revelers travel through the streets. Looking out the window I would see the Green Line pass by. Looking across Comm Ave. CLA buildings was where I would be.  Either late night studying or attending class in the morning. To my right would be the Communication School Building. Had Psych here and played Frisbee on the lawn. Up the street a few blocks away there would be Kenmore Square. The lights of the Citgo signs atop the building would flash the Red Triangle on the white background. By the bookstore was Narcissa . It was the first dance club I visited in Bean Town.  

Now, it’s the quiet street on the East side. Its October now and soon there will be little Trick or Treaters. Groups of children would the swarm house knocking on the door screaming “Trick or Treat.”  Looked for the orange box with the Halloween decorations in the garage. Couldn’t find it. No more bats on the ceiling. No more plastic headstones. No more screaming cats on the fence.  Not until I find the orange box.

Tomorrow is the big game. Palmdale versus Quartz Hill. Rebels have beaten the Falcons these last couple of years and both teams are undefeated. . I am sure they can score on them, but their offense has been together for some time and has a stud for a running back. Don’t remember the school last year, but the season prior PHS got blanked.  On Homecoming to boot.

Still remember those times. Prom, Homecoming, Winter Ball. Wearing the tux. Putting on the corsage. Rolling up in the limo. Having the white carnation with the blue paint. Times with Sergio, Brian, Ricky. Pretty ladies,  Mandy and Laney. Those times are long over, but as I scan through some old pictures it feels like yesterday.

I try not stay here too long. Past is where it is and I don’t live there anymore. A brief respite but I need to get back on the road.

Soon after that will be Thanksgiving, then Black Friday, Election Day, Christmas and New Years. Another year will have passed and I will wonder what where has all the time gone. Dorian will be competing soon. Lynn will be in high school soon. And Precie will be applying to colleges soon.

Missed my time with Em. Thought I would always have the time to make up with her. Always thought I could make things right. Always. . .

Going through some of the family tree stuff. Looking through some pictures. I realized that life was much simpler then. Things were better. Life held so much more promise because the important choices did not have such a life-altering meaning. Yes, I am idealizing the past.

Not sure who attended Mike’s graduation with Dad, but he got some pictures with Dad. Guess, that is why I like taking pictures of some in the audience. I am drawn to what that person is experiencing. Getting a feel of the place. The sounds and smells. The moment captured for others to analyze and project. To see and feel that other felt.  Then every day, it held much wonder.

Now, I look out the window and wonder.  I think of yesterday and today. I wonder what happened to Gabby, Hy and Zao. Do think of me like I think of them? I doubt it. How did our brief encounter have an effect in our development? What Karmic payback was made in our brief history in time? 

Tomorrow is coming quickly and I must attend to important matters.

Will I be a monk for Halloween? What will I get the kids for Christmas? When will I visit Mike and Tatay and Rochelle? Will I ever have a good relationship with Em?

What is important Today is to add a my thoughts to the electronic paper, to add a few words