Cloudy this morning. Seems fitting for you today. Its your
birthday and I want to let you know you are remembered. Only met you once and
there was a sadness about it. The look on your face and I remember. Looking
back I didn’t really notice then, but I do now. Hard to keep a straight face
with all the emotions inside. I know.
You look like Kevin.
He’s an athlete like you. Football player. Spoke to one your mates. He
said at half time you would change uniforms to perform during the band. The
Arvin alumni band has your photos stream on. Your girlfriend, I assume, is a blond. Reminds me of Amanda. Similar tastes, I guess. Most of my friends were blonds, too.
Don’t know what you had to go through as you were growing
up. From the awards I have of you, you were something. Wrestler, football
player, drum major. I can see your Honor roll letters. Outstanding Student. Academic
Honor Roll 1982. You danced too. You were truly an Alpha.
Spoke to one your mates. He said that if you someone got out
of line, you were not afraid to get in their faces. Reminds me of Kevin. Kevin
would have the Ultimate Warrior painted on his face when he competed. Not
knowing you personally, I can see that. Kevin and I aren’t as musical as you
are. Kevin can dance. Dad was one dancer, too.
When I was at Sig Ep parties, I would do my thing.
You probably know this already, but I visited you. A few
days before your Halloween. Left some candy for you and one of your neighbors. Sorry it took so long. It took some time to find you. Had to walk up and down each plaque to find you. There was no directory available. Found you I did. I promise to be back before the month is up. Wanted to go today on your birthday, but just wasn’t in the stars. Supposed to
snow and rain something fierce today. News has been reporting it. Its cloudy
and the weather reporters may be right this time.
Called the school and the counselor remembers you. You must
have made quite impression to foster a memory like that. I’m not surprised
though.
Last time I remember speaking about you was when I was AVC
Student Body President. Went to a get
together and somehow a lady mentioned your name. She knew of you. Don’t know
how or in what context, but it was you. Guess, I wasn’t ready. Sorry.
That accident. . .I don’t know how, but I can hear Dad saying,
“Why? Why? Why?” He was in the hospital hallway. I know this, but I've never been
there. Never went to funeral. Never went to you at the hospital. I was in
junior high then and we barely knew each other. Sorry. Wasn't invited. I would have gone. I swear.
The trucker turned in
and the rest. . .I’m sorry it happened. I would liked to have known you.
I remember that LA Express T Shirt you gave me. Wore it a
few times. USFL, Steve Young. Thank you by the way.
It was a surprise to learn you have half-brother. I am
graduating Sage Jr High and then to discover that I have an older brother. Can’t
say that I was too happy. Maybe it was the time. Moving from Joshua Hills to a
tougher part of the city. Maybe it was Rochelle passing. Maybe it was because I
was mad at Dad. I was. Blamed him for many things. Some deserved. Some not.
Maybe it was just puberty. Whatever it was, it was no excuse.
Took some pictures of the high school. Also went by the
field you played on. Arvin is not a big town. It is farming land. Tiny main
street. Not much for big box retail stores. It is a true farm city from what I
gathered. I can still see the statue of
the Little Caesar on the building. This was much
different city than Los Angeles. Don’t know how Dad got up here, but I will have to ask him when
I get the chance.
Finally saw his funeral. Had it for years and finally watched
it. Saw some of our relatives. Minnie and Larry. A few others. There were
guards and a procession. I was planning in on taking it to the cemetery and
watching it with you.
There was a lady there. Not sure who she is. Don’t really want
to know. I am betting it was Dad’s lady friend at the time. Last time I saw
Dad, it was at the house before we moved. It was tough. He left and I remember
I didn’t want him to go. It would be the last time I would see him. He sent me
a text when I was at Garden Grove. It was after a close out. He wanted
something and I couldn’t and would send it. It was minor thing and I was hurt
and angry and just ready to close the door on things.
I was stupid. He tried and well, it is over now. I was
troubled by things that Dad did. Won’t get into it, but I was angry. I have
forgiven. Wish I did sooner. People make mistakes and try to fix things.
Sometimes these windows close sooner than we expected. My stuff with Em is that
way.
Learned of a funny connection between her and I. Let’s just
say, ‘It’s a Small World and God has a plan.”
I digress. I spoke to the counselor and she said she would
have stuff ready for me. I can look at yearbooks at the school. Hope to get
this done before the New Year gets here. I plan to hit the library there. Maybe
get a traffic report on the accident. I would like to see if there were any
articles of you in the newspaper. This will take a couple of visits. Perhaps go
to the hospital where you stayed. I would really like to get to know you.
Any ways, you are remembered, Happy Birthday, Brother. I
love you.
