Blah. . .Blah. . .Blah

Woke up early. Went to Bed late. Not a good combination. Still when the phone rings saying the Homework folder and Nike jacket is missing, well, it’s a fail and freeze or catch more ZZZZ’s. Its hard choice. In reality, with one’s eyes closed. Its easy to imagine a scenario like one in the movies. Chose the former. Fail and Freeze. A hard lesson the absent minded will learn. Then reality sets in and the little bit of sleep is awaken by the voice in your head shouting, “GET UP!!!” As one fumbles around looking for the IPhone wondering how much time since you last answered the call to how much time you took a mental break weighing the option of Lesson learned and trouble for not being a responsible grown up.

As you race out the door, Hair all askew. Wondering am I too ridiculous looking or should I go back and change? With the wrinkled grey Yosemite shirt with the green sweats and orange running shoes be a major fashion faux pas? Am I on the line of “Did You See What He is Wearing?”  Or is the line behind me?

Its freezing outside and no sock look is not fashion statement.  It’s just you are late and those last two minutes of shut eye was bliss, Reality is setting in. “Get him the Homework folder and the jacket before he heads to school” Otherwise I will have to show up to his grade school and will have to face the “Mom’s Club” that will be heading to gym after dropping off the kids. Their nicely coiffed hair and matching fitness gear. I will be on someone’s “YouTube” video with tags, “#whatnottowear , #canyoubelievewhatheiswearing, and #Fashionnonos

Mission accomplished. Package delivered now the journey home. Morning sleep is blown. No chance of getting back to sleep. Adrenalin is already up and you just will have to pay for it at some other critical time of the day. Like a long commute home or heart surgery.

Anyways, when I get back home, the hot water will still not be refilled and the warm, calming bath will have to make way for another day. Looking at the phone. 15:31:30. Fifteen Hours thirty one minutes and thirty seconds until Midnight.

What’s on the agenda? Sleep. Episode of Homeland. High School Football game down the street in winter weather. Couple hours at the gym Laundry maybe. Grocery shopping and some other household chores that are long overdue. No these are important to daily maintaining of the family life.  Vegas run will have to wait.

There is much, much more that I can fill the time with. However, this time is just for this. There are a very few other places I would like to be. There was a time waking up in a Comfort Inn or Holiday Express. Once a month washed Hotel sheets and a wooden chair propped up against the door in case a Psycho hotel  innkeeper had ideas of entertaining thoughts of doing a Norman Bates impersonation.  Waking up to café food or close fast food place and eating something fried. It was nice for a time, but that time is over. Double shifts and late night pool with friend is no longer on the agenda. Worrying about making quota and handling claims is important, just no longer high on the list of daily to-dos.

Right now what is important is being here. Waking up to Waste Management in their green trucks rattling the trash bins. Listening to the kids chase each other around on their way to the bus stop.  It is sound of the morning where everything seems right. Except for that freaking Old Telephone ring programmed to the IPhone after a couple hours of sleep with that horrible message, “Forgot Homework Folder and Nike Jacket, Can you. . . Blah Blah Blah”

Still there is nowhere I would rather be.

10 11 12

Autumn winds blows again. Leaves rustle outside my window. Streets are quiet with activity. Sounds of a witch is screaming tells me Holiday season is now. Theme song of the horror classic Halloween is played every twenty seconds. It is supposed to scare and intimidate, but I find it calming. Soon trick or treaters will be racing through the streets to grab their loot of chocolate and caramel gifts. After that will come Thanksgiving, then Christmas, and then the New Year.

It cool outside. Temperature has dropped
a good 20 degrees compared to a couple of weeks ago. No more swimming in the pool. No More fans pushing stale air around. No more afternoon shower to make the day bearable. Next few weeks it will be sweater weather with nice outside fire. Smores and nights looking up in the stars. Looking for Ursa Major, Ursa Minor. Checking out the meteor shower on the brisk night sky.

Would make a wish on the streaking green lights. Boulder-sized asteroids skipping on the atmosphere until it is nothing more than a pebble. Glow so bright then gone. It is calming. Looking at the sky. One gets a feel the largeness of their personhood and smallness of their being. When I look back and imagine what were the skywatchers thinking.Lets call this section of stars Ursa Major because it looks like a Big Bear.Lets call this one Perseid after the sister. We got Cancer, Capricorn, and Sagittarius.

Watched an old twilight zone episode, they pondered the question. What if the dark skies and bright stars weren't those dark matter and gases of helium and hydrogen?  What if the darkness was a massive black box with holes punched in?

I'm reminded by a line in a movie with Jodie Foster and David Morse. There was an exchange between Father and younger daughter. She asks if there is life on on other planets, Her father responds, "I don't know, Sparks. But I guess I'd say if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space."

Last few years, my mortality has been an issue. Before, I was never a religious person, hardly ever attending Church. But since then I have solidified my Faith and become more at peace. Looking at my Iphone app. Its a 24 Hour timer. It counts backward the seconds minutes left in the day. Now it is 23:55:45. Twenty three hours, fifty minutes and forty five seconds before this ends. 

When I look at the mistakes. . .and achievements. . .I have made so far. It gives me pause. Have I used my time wisely? Have I fulfilled my purpose? Is there a Purpose? I believe so. Not sure I can quantify what that is, Is is money? Is social connections? Is it pieces of art or scientific accomplishment?  

There is something. A connection we make with one another. One economist describe an invisible hand guiding the direction of society. We are individual neuron that causes a society to react. Some are stronger than others. They have a greater impact. One cannot dismiss one sole cell and say it is insignificant. Each one has the potential to create such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares.At times we feel so lost, then we realize we are not. 

Looking at the gift I received in an email today, I am reminded that I am not lost. I am not alone. I am reminded that decisions I make and may help another not feel so cut off. I am reminded that we ask the Universe she will give us what we need. Our purposes is guided by something larger than what I can perceive. I am given opportunities and lessons. I am meet People to Love and People that Love Us Back. They will, through their mistakes and achievements, will give me what I need teach me lessons I need to learn. Time is 23:17:33