It’s dark outside. Evenings are coming sooner and sooner. I’m sitting in the hospital front lobby right now. Laptop’s plugged in. Getting some juice. It flashed earlier 5 minutes left. My eyes are heavy. There’s lots of commotion in the TV room. I hear a baby crying. A little girl cries, “She hit me.” Tired now. Still too much going on for me to rest. Automatic sliding door keeps opening and closing. Volunteer receptionist says, “Lancaster Community is closing in a couple of months,” to the visitor signing in.
Where's The Remote Control?
Winter Olympics are going right now. Kids are watching Dora the Explorer. Can’t get to a TV to watch the opening ceremonies. 2010 Vancouver not really sure if it’s that important. My interest is nothing compared to the 84 LA Olympics. Maybe it’s because the Olympics were only an hour away. Maybe, it’s because there was little viewing choices at the time. Only HBO then; Not like the hundred TV choices we have today. Maybe, it’s because the media blitz was so close to home. Maybe it was because everything was so new.
World's Ending. . .Again
It still dark outside. Foreclosures. 10% jobless rate. Ads on radio, Iran’s nuclear enrichment program. Doom and gloom is still around. There was always one more war. Yet, it is no different than times before. No different so many hardship stories told before. I still hear the noise from the kids room next door. Political pundits cry a foul. Channel is changing. President did this. President didn’t do that. Mayor did this, Mayor did not do that. No one is ever satisfied. No one is ever totally happy. Palin-haters and Brownies. I am a Brownie.
Right Here, Right Now
What is your moment in time? What historical forces are coloring your view? What are your times? It’s NBA All-Star Weekend. Rookie and celebrity all-star event is playing right now. Dunk-a-thon and Horse are tomorrow’s events. Sunday is the All-Star game. Kobe is out, bad ankle. Iverson is out, too.Family Issues. City of Dallas has over a foot of snow. Yet, the game goes on. Couple of weekends ago was Super Bowl Sunday, Colts versus the Saints. I wore my Manning jersey. Colts lost. Yet, I wasn’t too terribly upset. Just did not have my heart into it. There was no emotional connection. No mountain of joy. No valley of despair. It just . . .Eeeeh. No big deal. New Years the same. Little over a month.
Earlier, I was at Barnes and Nobles reading about screenwriting and plot. It talked how good story lines had a simple story and strong conflict. It talked about a management of emotions. It talked about internal conflicts. Physical conflict. Conflicts with nature. Conflicts with Higher Ups, something mystical. I have all this.
Nancy Kerrigan, "Why Me!!!"
Did some self-analysis. I wondered why someone want to read my story. My blog. My stuff. Then it came to me. My story now is simple. I’m having questions of Faith. No, I haven’t found God, but I am considering life in the clergy. I am Father that is trying to re-connect with his estranged daughter of 16 year. Strong emotion internal conflict. I am starting to lunch with her married mother. I am struggling with Congestive Heart Failure and Diabetes. I have been on subconscious, self-imposed exile from my past and I am trying to make amends with former friends. Some victories. Some disappointments. Yet, I go on.
In This Life Time. . .Or the Next
I have major and minor players to my story. Elaine for one. Brian for another. Tammy, Corinna, Lisa, Bobby and Randy. There is an occasional walk-on. Don’t know if I will share all of me. I will tell most of my story. I am struggling to uncover my Father’s past. I am learning about my Father’s sister, my father dead son (my step-brother), my many, many cousins. Many mysteries are ready to be revealed. I will do my best to let you in. I hope my journey will help some. I hope my struggles will help deal with your own.
At times, it feels like I am writing in the dark. Don’t know whether you like or hate what I write. Don’t know if I care. I’m lying. I do care what you think. If you like, you keep reading and post a comment. If not, you will post a comment and still keep reading. My journey is your journey. The struggle I face is just darkness. Darkness is simply absence of light. I hope that I can shed some in my journey of writing. Hope you will share your opinion and add some sunshine on m journey.
You Light Up My Life, Debbie Boone
My blog is about the hero’s journey. It’s your journey, too. It’s all of ours. This blog will undoubtedly uncover some personal issues because it is the nature of writing. Free Associating, Roscharch inkblots, writing this blog will reveal my hopes, my fears, my issues, my life. It’s simply my unconscious percolating to the top. I’ll do my best to stay on topic. Let this be a foreshadowing of struggles to come.
Its still dark outside. Automatic door closes. A winter breeze gusts in. It will be dark for a few hours. Baby is now laughing, though. I hear a little sister complaining. Someone’s shouting “Poopie and it stinks.” I hear more giggling. They changed the channel. I hear the Olympics Theme song in the background. Sunset happened a few minutes ago. It will be dark for awhile. Feeling warmer. Heater is kicking in. The sun will rise. Sliding door opens again. I hear the more laughter and I smile. My eyes widen. Receptionist says, “Yes. We’re hiring for the new Palmdale Hospital.”
Its late and I'm tired. Not much happened today. Laundry, dishes, and burning CD's. Nondescript, uneventful day. Today was a great day. More and more, it has been harder and harder for me to eat meat. It came up all of a sudden, Change in lifestyle has gotten me to re-evaluate my choices in what foods I put in my mouth. More fish, shrimp and tuna. Can't remember when my dietary habits have migrated more and more to the sea. Guess its the dolphin in me.
Its the idea of eating hamburger and steak is getting harder and harder to fathom. No, I am no vegan, As matter of fact, I had bacon and sausages this morning, Its just that I am changing. BJs, Tony Romas, Ruth Chris--Have fear. I'm ordering salmon and swordfish. Can't remember the last time I had KFC or Popeyes. Had El Pollo yesteday, but still. Something sentient? I am having some reservations. It was more rice and mashed potato than anything. Loving my veggies lately. Brocolli, carrots, asparagus, mushrooms. Where did this inner vegetarian come from? Gotta say its the Dalai Lama and Glitter. A monk and ex-stripper. Who knew?
