Happy Birthday, Mike

Cloudy this morning. Seems fitting for you today. Its your birthday and I want to let you know you are remembered. Only met you once and there was a sadness about it. The look on your face and I remember. Looking back I didn’t really notice then, but I do now. Hard to keep a straight face with all the emotions inside. I know.

You look like Kevin.  He’s an athlete like you. Football player. Spoke to one your mates. He said at half time you would change uniforms to perform during the band. The Arvin alumni band has your photos stream on. Your girlfriend, I assume, is a blond. Reminds me of Amanda. Similar tastes, I guess. Most of my friends were blonds, too.

Don’t know what you had to go through as you were growing up. From the awards I have of you, you were something. Wrestler, football player, drum major. I can see your Honor roll letters. Outstanding Student. Academic Honor Roll 1982. You danced too. You were truly an Alpha.

Spoke to one your mates. He said that if you someone got out of line, you were not afraid to get in their faces. Reminds me of Kevin. Kevin would have the Ultimate Warrior painted on his face when he competed. Not knowing you personally, I can see that. Kevin and I aren’t as musical as you are.  Kevin can dance. Dad was one dancer, too. When I was at Sig Ep parties, I would do my thing.

You probably know this already, but I visited you. A few days before your Halloween. Left some candy for you and one of your neighbors. Sorry it took so long. It took some time to find you. Had to walk up and down each plaque to find you. There was no directory available. Found you I did. I promise to be back before the month is up. Wanted to go today on your birthday, but just wasn’t in the stars. Supposed to snow and rain something fierce today. News has been reporting it. Its cloudy and the weather reporters may be right this time.

Called the school and the counselor remembers you. You must have made quite impression to foster a memory like that. I’m not surprised though. 

Last time I remember speaking about you was when I was AVC Student Body President.  Went to a get together and somehow a lady mentioned your name. She knew of you. Don’t know how or in what context, but it was you. Guess, I wasn’t  ready. Sorry. 

That accident. . .I don’t know how, but I can hear Dad saying, “Why? Why? Why?” He was in the hospital hallway. I know this, but I've never been there. Never went to funeral. Never went to you at the hospital. I was in junior high then and we barely knew each other. Sorry. Wasn't invited. I would have gone. I swear.

The trucker turned in and the rest. . .I’m sorry it happened. I would liked to have known you.

I remember that LA Express T Shirt you gave me. Wore it a few times. USFL, Steve Young. Thank you by the way.

It was a surprise to learn you have half-brother. I am graduating Sage Jr High and then to discover that I have an older brother. Can’t say that I was too happy. Maybe it was the time. Moving from Joshua Hills to a tougher part of the city. Maybe it was Rochelle passing. Maybe it was because I was mad at Dad. I was. Blamed him for many things. Some deserved. Some not. Maybe it was just puberty. Whatever it was, it was no excuse.

Took some pictures of the high school. Also went by the field you played on. Arvin is not a big town. It is farming land. Tiny main street. Not much for big box retail stores. It is a true farm city from what I gathered.  I can still see the statue of the Little Caesar on the building. This was much different city than Los Angeles. Don’t know how Dad got up here, but I will have to ask him when I get the chance. 

Finally saw his funeral. Had it for years and finally watched it. Saw some of our relatives. Minnie and Larry. A few others. There were guards and a procession. I was planning in on taking it to the cemetery and watching it with you.

There was a lady there. Not sure who she is. Don’t really want to know. I am betting it was Dad’s lady friend at the time. Last time I saw Dad, it was at the house before we moved. It was tough. He left and I remember I didn’t want him to go. It would be the last time I would see him. He sent me a text when I was at Garden Grove. It was after a close out. He wanted something and I couldn’t and would send it. It was minor thing and I was hurt and angry and just ready to close the door on things.

I was stupid. He tried and well, it is over now. I was troubled by things that Dad did. Won’t get into it, but I was angry. I have forgiven. Wish I did sooner. People make mistakes and try to fix things. Sometimes these windows close sooner than we expected. My stuff with Em is that way. 

Learned of a funny connection between her and I. Let’s just say, ‘It’s a Small World and God has a plan.”

I digress. I spoke to the counselor and she said she would have stuff ready for me. I can look at yearbooks at the school. Hope to get this done before the New Year gets here. I plan to hit the library there. Maybe get a traffic report on the accident. I would like to see if there were any articles of you in the newspaper. This will take a couple of visits. Perhaps go to the hospital where you stayed. I would really like to get to know you.

Any ways, you are remembered, Happy Birthday, Brother. I love you.

Right Here, Right Now

Million Miles Begins With One Step

Only So Many Miles

According to a Google, average life expectancy of one born in America is 67.2 years. This translates to almost 59,000 hours.  Let’s say, 60,000 optimistically. A third of that is gone due to sleep. I wrote about this once, but I think we need to be reminded once in awhile about the importance of right now is. what-have-you-done-for-365-days post

2011

Day Worth Living is a Day Worth Documenting

Been keeping a journal for this year, it is filled with ticket stubs, library receipts, and miscellaneous functions I have attended.  Every day is a gift. Imagine all the things you have seen this last day. It is these precious moments that we realize that there is so much wonderment out there in the vastness of space.

Last Lunar Eclipse for a Couple of Years

Just A Phase

Heard on NPR last night an interview of an attendee of the Griffith Park Observatory Lunar Eclipse viewing. Three or four hundred  people on the lawn gathering in the middle of the city to watch the night get darker than what it is. What struck me is said he felt insignificant. He said he was touched by philosophically, psychologically, spiritually, metaphysically, blah, blah, blah. I think he just got hit by the adverb comet. To Me, being alive is Significant. If we aren't, then why are we here?  In each minute, life has something to offer.

Sights to See

Look Up

I am not the traveling monster as my cousin Barbara—Portugal,  Spain, Dubai, Australia, and so on. Nor am I like a former schoolmate, Edgar. Peru, Russia, and more. It is just that we experience so much in each minute. 

Through A Child's Eyes

New View, New Perspective

Pat, a friend’s mother was housebound. She was legally blind and sat in her chair most days with her wiener dogs, but she had some tales. Oprah and the like kept her apprised of what was going on and important. Didn’t really appreciate her situation and was a bit critical. However, my view has changed. 

We may need a moment. May need assistance. We may need to give a moment. We may need to give assistance

We All Fall Down

Her husband was also vision impaired, but he was something, too. Riding his bike everywhere. Being a respected instructor for some troubled kids in elementary. It was something. His stories of kids being on themselves, spitting at the teacher’s aide, and threats of bodily harm—I don’t know if had that much patience and control.

Injured, but won anyways. Heart goes a long ways

Hard Won Victory

I was told by my optometrist that I will have cataracts and though it is not present yet, I will undergo some challenges. Going Blind. . .wow.  It could happen so I won’t dwell on it. I am just saying what we see in the course of one day is not to be taken lightly. It is quite something. 

Inches We Need Are Everywhere Around Us

Artwork from an Ice Cube

Not going to harp on the choices people make regarding television. To some it offers worlds, I would never imagine experiencing. History Channel with Swamp People and Monsterquest. USA with Burn Notice, Covert Affairs, and NCIS. Hardcore Pawn, Cartoon Network, and Diners, Drive-In and Dives. Sure it is a dramatized version and cut in ways that are extracting much of the story. 

Also known as a car

Moments Can Change the World

I liken it to reading a novel, watching a movie,  looking at a painting, or having a gustatory moment with Anthony Bourdain. This is just a snippet of what is out there. A quick flash of just that moment.  Forever gone once its past. Sure, what is life without a little drama. For some, drama is what is interesting.

Tied a Note to A Balloon and set aloft

Message From Heaven

All I want to do is put out there is remind one of Now. Being Present. Being present to all the gifts the Universe offers. Thank you Big Smile for all that you have given. During the Holiday season it is one gift that we need to remember that is always there.