New Year Resolutions 2012

For awhile, I haven't written a post. Not that I didn't have stuff to write about. Not because there wasn't things that I would like to share. Simply, I got scared. 

Fear and doubt rose up and took their hits. Lost track and got out of focus on why I started writing. Let the gremlins have a run. A little chaos happens, as it does. Inmates ran the asylum.

Well, Nurse Ratchett needs to bring some order. We need some discipline at times to get where we need to go. It isn't the goal, but the journey. So cliche, but we need some guidelines. 

What does this have to do with mission of the blog? Sometimes a map helps to determine what we would like to experience in our journey. We need a lay of the land of the struggles we choose to go through.  Below is next year's index. Obviously, there will be twists and turns. Yet, this is the fun part. 

I hope to tackle these challenges well. I hope to have the strength to keep my head up. . .to reach for the stars and keep my feet on the ground. 

I believe this because I have Faith. Faith in others. Faith in myself. Faith that there is a bigger plan than what I can see. All will be revealed. 

This is my declaration to Live Out Loud.

New Years Resolution 2012

• Never Give Up Hope with Em
• Learn Two Spanish Words a Day for a Year
• Learn Two Tagalog Words a Day for A Year
• 365 Project for 2012
• Read the Bible
• Read the New Testament
• Read the Old Testament
• Read Koran
• Read Mahabarata
• Read the Torah
• Read the Book or Mormons
• Take a One Picture A Day for A Year (Moments in Time blog)
• Learn 500 Mandarin Characters
• Stretch Everyday for a Year
• Cardio Everyday for a Year
• Meditate Everyday for a Year
• Workout Everyday for a Year
• Diet Log Everyday for a Year
• Dream log Once a week a Year
• Pray 5 Times a Day, Every Day for a Year
• Health stats Everyday for a Year
• Write in Journal Everyday for a Year
• Write 5 Things I am Grateful Everyday for a Year (5thingsiamgrateful4everyday blog)
• 100 Pushups a Day for a Year
• 500 Crunchers a day for a Year
• Post Blog Once a Week for a Year
• Meal Plan Once a Week for a Year
• Fitness Plan Once a Week for a Year
• Wash Car Once Every Two Week
• Julie/ Julia/ Jeff Post Once a Week (juliejuliaandjeff blog)
• Visit Tatay Once a Month
• Recharge at Beach Once a Month
• Review Resolutions Once a Month
• Update Family Tree Once Quarterly
• Visit Mary/ Marvin Twice a Year
• Visit Dentist Twice a Year
• Visit Doctor Twice a Year
• Attend/ Participate AFI Film Festival
• Attend/ Participate San Diego Comic Con
• Attend Dodger Game     DONE
• Attend Angel Game
• Attend Galaxy Game
• Attend Festival of Books
• Attend Boar Parade (MDR or Newport)
• Attend Chinese New Years     DONE    
• Attend LA Zoo     DONE
• Attend San Diego Zoo
• Attend Shambala Preserve
• Attend Lobster Festival
• Attend Blessing of Animals
• Attend Blessing of Cars
• Attend Academy Awards Event
• Attend LA Marathon
• Attend Xmas Parade
• Celebrate Dad’s Birthday and Death Anniversary
• Celebrate Michael Birthday and Death Anniversary
• List 5 things I am grateful for six months. 
• List 5 things I am grateful for a year
• List 5 things I am grateful for 3 months     DONE
• List 5 things I am grateful for a month     DONE     
• Finish a Crossword Puzzles     DONE
• Go to Book Signing     DONE
• Visit a Wax Museum
• Release a Wish Lantern
• Make list of New Year's Resolutions     DONE
• Ride an Aerial tram
• Make a bid at a live auction
• Bet on every NFL game one Sunday
• Drink something with tobassco     DONE
• Drink absinthe
• Drink Something on Fire
• See a white buffalo
• Catch a fish
• Learn calligraphy
• Have AI1 under 6
• Have DNA mapped
• Watch AFI 10 top 10     DONE
• Climb the Statue of Liberty
• Watch all the IMDB top 250
• Meditate in front of a beach
• Run 10_ miles straight
• Watch Rose Parade in Pasadena     DONE
• Fly a Kite 
• Attend Galaxy game
• Attend an Angels game
• Visit all 50 states
• Visit a Native American Reservation
• Write a and publish an Ebook
• Read and Listen to 200 books
• Collect 33 cookbooks. Star/ join a book or film club
• Watch Big Lebowski     DONE
• Do an Orange Peel Blessing Ceremony
• Do an Feng Shui Blessing
• Watch AFI 100 Thrill
• Watch AFI 100 Passions
• Watch AFI 100 Cheers
• Watch AFI 100 Funnies
• Write myself a letter via www.futureme.org    DONE
• Learn and Recognize 500 Mandarin Characters
• Watch all James Bond Movies     DONE
• Walk a marathon for a great charity
• Eat 5 serving of fruits and veggies every day for a month     DONE
• Walk/ Run a marathon for a great charity
• Hug a really, really, real big tree
• Complete 200 items on a bucket list    DONE
• Register for Nanowrimo and write a novel
• Hold an Olympic medal
• Look at Barringer Crater in Arizona
• Visit gym for 90 days straight     DONE
• Make a Chalk art
• Lose 50 pounds
• Soak in a hot springs
• 200 Sit up programs
• Be able to do 25 pull ups
• Attend International Surf Festival
• Visit Manzanar National Historic Site
• Visit Monterey Aquarium
• Visit Death Valley National Park
• Visit Canyon de Chelly National Monument
• Visit Carlsbad Cavern National Park
• Visit Bryce Canyon National Park
• Visit Visit Self Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine    DONE
• Visit Mission La Purisima     DONE
• Visit Mission San Luis Obispo     DONE
• Visit Mission San Miguel Arcangel     DONE
• Visit Mission San Antonio de Padua
• Visit Mission Nuestra San de la Soledad
• Visit Mission San Carlos Barreomeo de Carmelo
• Visit Mission San Juan Bautista
• Visit Mission Santa Cruz
• Visit Mission Santa Clara de Asis
• Visit Mission San Jose
• Visit Mission San Francisco
• Visit Mission San Rafael Arcangel
• Visit Mission San Francisco Solano
• Visit Virginia Robinson Garden
• Watch a movie at El Capitan
• Visit Petersen Automotive Museum     DONE
• Watch a movie a Cinerama Dome
• Visit and watch a game at Ruckers Park
• Improve singing voice
• Attend Easter Service at Hollywood Bowl
• Attend a Sumo Match     DONE
• Fold 1,000 Origami cranes and give them someone special
• Hit a perfect bullseye in archery
• Read All the books of the Bible
• Have a waiter order for me
• Learn how make California rolls
• Lose 10 lbs
• Lose 20 lbs
• Lose 40 lbs
• Lose 50 lbs
• Learn 10 Constellations
• Learn Morse code
• Read Koran
• Read Mahabarata
• Throw a Bola
• Walk on stilts
• Fire a handgun at shooting range
• Fire a rifle
• Skip rope like a boxer
• Attend poetry slam
• Enter writing a contest
• Learn magic trick
• Visit an embassy
• Go to Grammy Awards
• Witness Migration of the Monarch Butterflies
• Watch a Yahoo's 100 movies to see before you die: all time Greats
• Work on Habitat for Humanity Projects
• Visit Seattle Space Needle
• Ride a cable car in San Francisco
• Visit San Diego Zoo
• Touch a Whale
• Write a letter to Santa Claus 2012
• Visit Mono Lake
• Make a book of photos I've taken over the years
• Watch the Swallows Return to Capistrano
• Carve something out of wood or stone
• Have a picture of me sitting on or besides the Lincoln Monument
• Watch a solar eclipse
• Volunteer at hospice
• Take every picture everyday for 2012
• Volunteer at a Hospice
• Build a Sand Castle
• Watch Silent movie in a theater     DONE  The ARTIST
• Take a Ballroom dancing lessons
• Attend a film premiere
• Do a 100 push ups in a tow
• Bury Speedometer in a car
• Bungee jump
• Ride an Ostrich
• Take a Tai Chi Class
• Eat Vegan for a week
• See Cirque du Soleil
• Volunteer at Homeless Shelter
• Take a Vow of Silence for a day
• Read Torah
• Visit White house
• Complete a 1000 piece puzzle     DONE
• Crash a wedding
• Volunteer in a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving
• Read Torah
• See a Ballet
• Go to ESPY Awards
• Give blood 100 times
• Visit Mona
• Visit REDCAT Gallery
• Watch a concert at Hollywood Bowl
• Visit Norton Simon Museum     DONE
• Visit Nixon Museum     DONE
• Visit Getty Villa     DONE
• Drink from a coconut     DONE
• Send a message in a bottle
• Visit where the Declaration of Independence 
• Plan Meal for two weeks
• Write a book and submit it to a publishing company
• Make fire without matches
• Grow an herb garden
• Plant a tree
• Laugh for 15 minutes every a month
• Cook every meal in a cookbook
• Send flowers anonymously
• Get a Masters degree
• Visit all Missions in California
• Visit a painted caves
• Attend a native american sweat lodge
• Visit Sears tower
• Run/ walk across hot coals
• Make a someone a photo montage     DONE
• Make my own ice cream
• Play a game of Bingo
• Visit Niagra Falls
• Have a picture posted on LA Inc Photo of the Day
• Have a meal at Big Foot Inn
• Become a minister
• Solve a Rubiks cube without cheating
• Visit Grand Canyon Sky Walk
• Watch AFI top 100 of all time     DONE
• Eat Fugu
• Visit Griffith Park light Festival
• Visit Mt Wilson Observatory     DONE
• Visit Angkor Wat
• Touch a cobra     DONE
• Run with Bulls
• Take a picture with a llama     DONE
• Make a time capsule and bury it
• Enter a chess tournament
• Visit Tomb of Unknown Soldier
• Visit Shamballa Reserve
• Work on another Political Campaign
• Glue Money to the floor and watch people try to pick it up
• Eat an Ostrich Omelet
• Visit Empire State building
• Attend San Diego Comic Con
• Visit Statue of Liberty
• Visit a drive in movie
• Get a Where's George stamp     DONE
• Celebrate Mardi Gras in New Orleans
• Attend Time Square for New Years
• Visit Universal Studios Hollywood theme park
• See a Narwhal live
• Have acupuncture
• Learn to make sushi
• Make a timeline
• Complete LA Marathon
• Milk a cow
• Meet Muhammad Ali
• Capture lightning in a picture
• Roll a coin across knuckles
• Rollerblade
• Attend an Academy Award event
• Visit a Mosque
• Visit a Synagogue
• Crush grapes in vineyard
• Visit San Antonio Winery
• Take picture from Devils Chair at Devils Punch Bowl
• Read Entire Bible
• Make 17 free throws
• Attend Boxing match
• Attend a MMA match     DONE
• Write a book
• Swim with dolphins
• Skydive
• Get Ally McBeal dvd set
• See Northern Lights
• Ride a Hot Air Balloon
• Ride a zip line
• Build a Habitat for Humanity home
• Visit Grand canyon
• Get another tattoo
• Stand under a waterfall
• Attend moonlit hike at Devil's Punch Bowl
• Be an extra in a movie
• Sit in for Supreme Court case
• Get Cydney Robinson CD     DONE
• Attend a Cydney Robinson show
• Attend an Olympic event
• Ride a Century
• Get a Prayer Flag
• Visit Santa Catalina Island
• Visit Kings Canyon National Park
• Visit Yosemite Park
• Visit Legoland

Right Here, Right Now

Million Miles Begins With One Step

Only So Many Miles

According to a Google, average life expectancy of one born in America is 67.2 years. This translates to almost 59,000 hours.  Let’s say, 60,000 optimistically. A third of that is gone due to sleep. I wrote about this once, but I think we need to be reminded once in awhile about the importance of right now is. what-have-you-done-for-365-days post

2011

Day Worth Living is a Day Worth Documenting

Been keeping a journal for this year, it is filled with ticket stubs, library receipts, and miscellaneous functions I have attended.  Every day is a gift. Imagine all the things you have seen this last day. It is these precious moments that we realize that there is so much wonderment out there in the vastness of space.

Last Lunar Eclipse for a Couple of Years

Just A Phase

Heard on NPR last night an interview of an attendee of the Griffith Park Observatory Lunar Eclipse viewing. Three or four hundred  people on the lawn gathering in the middle of the city to watch the night get darker than what it is. What struck me is said he felt insignificant. He said he was touched by philosophically, psychologically, spiritually, metaphysically, blah, blah, blah. I think he just got hit by the adverb comet. To Me, being alive is Significant. If we aren't, then why are we here?  In each minute, life has something to offer.

Sights to See

Look Up

I am not the traveling monster as my cousin Barbara—Portugal,  Spain, Dubai, Australia, and so on. Nor am I like a former schoolmate, Edgar. Peru, Russia, and more. It is just that we experience so much in each minute. 

Through A Child's Eyes

New View, New Perspective

Pat, a friend’s mother was housebound. She was legally blind and sat in her chair most days with her wiener dogs, but she had some tales. Oprah and the like kept her apprised of what was going on and important. Didn’t really appreciate her situation and was a bit critical. However, my view has changed. 

We may need a moment. May need assistance. We may need to give a moment. We may need to give assistance

We All Fall Down

Her husband was also vision impaired, but he was something, too. Riding his bike everywhere. Being a respected instructor for some troubled kids in elementary. It was something. His stories of kids being on themselves, spitting at the teacher’s aide, and threats of bodily harm—I don’t know if had that much patience and control.

Injured, but won anyways. Heart goes a long ways

Hard Won Victory

I was told by my optometrist that I will have cataracts and though it is not present yet, I will undergo some challenges. Going Blind. . .wow.  It could happen so I won’t dwell on it. I am just saying what we see in the course of one day is not to be taken lightly. It is quite something. 

Inches We Need Are Everywhere Around Us

Artwork from an Ice Cube

Not going to harp on the choices people make regarding television. To some it offers worlds, I would never imagine experiencing. History Channel with Swamp People and Monsterquest. USA with Burn Notice, Covert Affairs, and NCIS. Hardcore Pawn, Cartoon Network, and Diners, Drive-In and Dives. Sure it is a dramatized version and cut in ways that are extracting much of the story. 

Also known as a car

Moments Can Change the World

I liken it to reading a novel, watching a movie,  looking at a painting, or having a gustatory moment with Anthony Bourdain. This is just a snippet of what is out there. A quick flash of just that moment.  Forever gone once its past. Sure, what is life without a little drama. For some, drama is what is interesting.

Tied a Note to A Balloon and set aloft

Message From Heaven

All I want to do is put out there is remind one of Now. Being Present. Being present to all the gifts the Universe offers. Thank you Big Smile for all that you have given. During the Holiday season it is one gift that we need to remember that is always there.

Yeah, I Am Not So Smart At Times

Scary Stuff

Learning more and more people are reading my blog. It’s a bit scary. Not that I did not think it would happen. Not that I didn’t want people to read my blog. It is just that it is becoming more and more real. All I see is three followers. However, I get emails here and there. Some I know. Some, I don’t.  More and more people are learning about my life, my thoughts, my every thing. It is scary.  It’s scary to be so exposed. It’s scary learning people-you-know know stuff about you, you did not directly tell them. You learned the stuff they know are because the blogs you posted.  Basically, I am a private person. I don’t mind being alone here and there. I don’t get lonely much. I’m okay with my own company. 

Masks We Wear

It is just that I am learning to be more accepting of the person who I am. Getting to be that “authentic” self as my new group would say. Everyone wears mask. Each one has roles to play. One is worker. One is a son. One is a brother. An uncle.  A mother. A daughter. A sister.  An aunt.  I wear a comfortable mask.

It's Chicken Sh#t Not. . .

This reading group I have newly joined is on a journey of discovery of the “artistic” self. They have been welcoming and warm. Understanding and guiding.  I am just an emotional novice, an artistic cub.  Though my time has been short, I feel lucky. Their journey is through a book called the Vein of Gold. This group is creating a safe place to find oneself authentic/ genuine self. Funny thing, I believe I am authentic. I think it’s chicken sh*t, when one isn’t giving it their all.

In my writing, I’m trying to let this self—this authentic self--come out. I am trying to be without filters. What I say here is what I say in the world. Just be who I am. Putting my thoughts and experiences out there is scary. People that don’t know you have feelings and thoughts about you. People-that-know-you know more about you that you thought they knew is scary. Confusing? Sorry. Its still scary.

Call, Fold, Or Raise--I Got Some Gamble

Having others know something about you by the blogs that you post is a bit disconcerting. Well, I guess I will let the universe decide the benefit or detriment of this way. If I wanted to hide in my cave for awhile, I guess I would stop blogging. I am not that smart. I suppose that I have stuff to say. I will play with the cards that I am dealt. Call, Fold, or Raise. I’ll Give it some action and I want to see the flop. Win Big or Go Home. Knew this might happen. Knowing something may happen and learning that it has happened is certainly different.

Hopefully, It Will Take

Last few weeks, I learned a some people knew my recent religious experiences, inklings, and feelings. I never told them. They were people close. They knew of my unspoken hopes to make things right with my past. They knew of my posting. These are very personal. Its private. Yes, it is hypocritical that I write about it. Yeah, I am not so smart at times. Guess, I knew this might happen. Just didn’t think my fear was this big. Lucky for me I jumped before thinking about it too much. Probably would have my Doubt gremlins get the better of me.  Being open, so open, is not something I am very comfortable with. Yet, guess by being so exposed that I am learning to have a bit thicker skin. I am learning to have my voice be heard. Learning to live with a more open heart. I’m learning to be courageous. I’m learning to act heroic. Hopefully, it will take.

Thunder and Lightning Strikes Fear

Feels like the lesson of lightning from the movies Mongol.  All Mongols had a deep rooted fear of lightning. All, except, Termujin. As a child, Termujin was punished for being the son of the poisoned khan. As punishment, he was banished to the mountains, exposed to the booming thunder and lightning strikes. This was a most extreme punishment for any Mongol, yet severe for a young boy. Having no place to run. No place to hide. Termujin had to face the thunder and lightning as a child. Later, this experience would strengthen his resolve to become who he was meant to be. Having nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, young Termujin had to stand there and face his fears. Later, this resolve would strengthen his people. They fought an army of warriors larger, stronger, and better than they. Yet, when the storms came, the lightning struck, the thunders shook, Termujin's army pushed forward, while his enemies cowered. He became his people’s unifier. Termjuin become his people’s Great Khan. He would become the historical figure Genghis Khan. Mongol movie

I’m not saying I want to become good old Genghis. It is just being so open, so exposed. I have nowhere to hide. I must live with thoughts, my feelings, my actions, my inactions, my everything.

With all this out there, people can learn so much me. Some things I am proud. Some, not so much. People can learn just about everything I have said and done. With this fact, it is very scary. Yet, with all this social networking, easy access, and immediacy of one’s action, I have learned that no one is really an island. We are all connected. We are all open. Everyone knows something about us. If they don’t, they can easily find out.  Google yourself. It’s unnerving. 

Videotape, Front Page, Internet--Your Business Is Out There

Yet, it’s all very liberating. It’s a call for people to be accountable and ideally to be more accountable to each other.  One ethics class question I was asked comes to mind. If what you did were broadcasted on CNN, would you do it? If your thoughts were on put on the front of the Valley Press or LA Times, would you be ashamed of it? Well, I think now is the age of reality TV, social-networking, and voyeuristic society, I don’t think one can really avoid it. Tiger Wood's Personal Business

Carrion Do The Same Thing

Knowing all this, one does what he does, thinks what one thinks, and lives as one does. No shame. No apologies. No nothing. Just a person is what one is? Guess, this why abhor shows like TMZ. Piranha paparazzi living on the gaffes and misfortunes of others. Their purpose is to make their bones humiliating, degrading, stalking, ridiculing, and harming the celebratti.  Not really creating stuff, it’s just a place where people tear down and hurt people knowingly. Maybe they are bringing things to light. Maybe they provide some purpose. Carrion do the same thing. Guess, I just don’t like the tearing down much.  If one were to video tape and scrutinize everything you said and didn’t say—did and did not do—think and did not think—I would be gun shy from the glitterati and paparazzi.

Well, my time is up. My writing is much. Go out. Live life authentic.  Live fearlessly. Conquer your gremlins. Live Right. Do Right. Act Right. In time, It will Take. As my mentor might say, “Fake It ‘til You Make It.”