Awakening

Feeling melancholy. Don’t know if it’s the weather. Don’t know if it’s the music I’m listening to. Don’t know if I am just feeling. . .down. Didn’t like my horoscope for tomorrow much. It said,” That old expression, if you ignore them, they'll go away? Well, that might not always hold true, but right now it just so happens to be quite accurate -- especially when it comes to a certain family member or friend who seems intent on obsessing over something neither you has any control over. Explain this once, then put some distance between the two of you until they get over it.” I’m having lunch with someone important. I’m afraid that I will be that person ignored. I will be the one that will be asked to put some distance.

Battery for laptop is about to die. Orange light has come on. Well, I hope to put what I can before the lights go out. I need to gym it. When I gave blood this afternoon, they said I should avoid strenuous exercise for at least 12 hours. I am afraid if I don’t go, then I will be slip sliding down that slippery slope. Didn’t jump in the pool this afternoon because I was told that I might go in cardiac arrest due to the cold water. It scared me. I know that I can work out tomorrow. It will be fine. It’s just my psyche will be more effected by not going in. It has already effected me. Doubt Gremlins has effected my hampered my risk-taking mechanism.

Well, I must be going because laptop is about to shut off.

I wrote the above the night before. I’m back. Went to the gym last night and again this morning. Jumped in the pool. No cardiac arrest. I'll admit I was scared. Got some feedback today. It was good. My posts are vague at times and it feels that like I am speaking to someone. I get that. It’s fair. Guess, I got the Doogie Howser syndrome. I appreciate the comments. Give me more. Please. 

Who am I writing these blogs to? The Universe. Basically, whoever wants to listen. Whoever wants to read this blog. This is who I write to. I’m also writing to myself, flushing out stuff and making some beliefs stronger.

Finally saw Book of Eli. I liked it. It hits home for me. Been going through a spiritual awakening. Going through a journey of discovery. Been going to church more and more often. Been reading about more and more religious texts. Picked up the book for Everything to Know About Islam. Been reading some Jehovah Witness literature. Had plans to go see the Dalai Lama at Universal City CityWalk last weekend. (Plans fell through) Listening to lots of Matisyahu. Don’t know if that counts. Love listening to Halleluiah. Been jumping in my pool a lot, kind of rebirth/ pretend baptism of sorts. I’m attending weekly Religious Inquiry class Tuesday nights.  I pray every sunrise and sunset. I pray when I eat. I pray when I go to bed. I pray when I wake up. I find myself planning on attending morning mass on weekdays. 

Been reawakened of sorts. Never been a churchie, so this all new.  I am finding strength—I am finding understanding—I am finding peace whenever and wherever I pray.  It’s funny. I’ve heard so many people say it’s chore to attend. I  like it. I like going to church.

What I like is continuity. I like the message of hope and redemption. I like meaning and symbolism of the events. Lent, for example, is a warm-up for Easter. For the resurrection. The forty days symbolizes Christ’s 40 days in the desert being tempted by the Fallen. The ashes on the forehead represents an ancient tradition reminding people, “from dust we came, from dust we shall return.” Its 6 times a day, worshippers of the Muslim faith prays. It’s the reading stating from the Jehovah Witness that a sprinkling of water on the forehead is not a true baptism until one is fully submerged. It’s the learning that in Jewish Temple, there is the big room where the highest of highest books are placed. It’s the tradition that the people of the Muslim faith have to take a journey to Mecca. Its Dalai Lama’s 13^th Incarnation. Its Shamanism of the Totech and the 5 agreements.  What I like is everything.

Don’t know where any of this leading. Don’t really have any expectations. It just seems to clear. I know so little and this I don’t know what to call. It brings me peace and strength. It makes sense to me. I am just thanking the Big Smile. There are times of melancholy. There are times of forgetfulness. There are times I question where this manifestation comes from. All I know is that I feel congruent. I feel steadfast and expansive. I see things more clearly. I notice more. I take pictures all the time. I am just amazed about everything. Events seem more purposeful. It feels like a jigsaw puzzle coming into place.

I’m getting these Ah-ha moments all the time. Strange, I know.  Events of long ago, events of the future, and  moments-in-the-now  feel “together” I worry less about the past. I am not so concerned with the upcoming. I am just here and it seems so clear. There are questions--so many questions. Yet, it feels like if I look more closely, listen more intently and keep my heart more open answers just appear.  Of course, there is life stuff. There’s always life stuff. Yet, it’s just stuff.

“Vague”—Yup. I will work on that.

Well, what a difference a day can make. What a difference a 10 miles of cardio can do. What a difference jumping into a cold pool will do. No--Its more what new discovered Faith has me doing. Jumping a freezing cold pool. It has me doing 10 miles of cardio. It has me attending church more often. It has me reading the the Bible, the Torah, and the Koran. It has me feeling more in tune. 

Well, it’s gym time again.

Yeah, I Am Not So Smart At Times

Scary Stuff

Learning more and more people are reading my blog. It’s a bit scary. Not that I did not think it would happen. Not that I didn’t want people to read my blog. It is just that it is becoming more and more real. All I see is three followers. However, I get emails here and there. Some I know. Some, I don’t.  More and more people are learning about my life, my thoughts, my every thing. It is scary.  It’s scary to be so exposed. It’s scary learning people-you-know know stuff about you, you did not directly tell them. You learned the stuff they know are because the blogs you posted.  Basically, I am a private person. I don’t mind being alone here and there. I don’t get lonely much. I’m okay with my own company. 

Masks We Wear

It is just that I am learning to be more accepting of the person who I am. Getting to be that “authentic” self as my new group would say. Everyone wears mask. Each one has roles to play. One is worker. One is a son. One is a brother. An uncle.  A mother. A daughter. A sister.  An aunt.  I wear a comfortable mask.

It's Chicken Sh#t Not. . .

This reading group I have newly joined is on a journey of discovery of the “artistic” self. They have been welcoming and warm. Understanding and guiding.  I am just an emotional novice, an artistic cub.  Though my time has been short, I feel lucky. Their journey is through a book called the Vein of Gold. This group is creating a safe place to find oneself authentic/ genuine self. Funny thing, I believe I am authentic. I think it’s chicken sh*t, when one isn’t giving it their all.

In my writing, I’m trying to let this self—this authentic self--come out. I am trying to be without filters. What I say here is what I say in the world. Just be who I am. Putting my thoughts and experiences out there is scary. People that don’t know you have feelings and thoughts about you. People-that-know-you know more about you that you thought they knew is scary. Confusing? Sorry. Its still scary.

Call, Fold, Or Raise--I Got Some Gamble

Having others know something about you by the blogs that you post is a bit disconcerting. Well, I guess I will let the universe decide the benefit or detriment of this way. If I wanted to hide in my cave for awhile, I guess I would stop blogging. I am not that smart. I suppose that I have stuff to say. I will play with the cards that I am dealt. Call, Fold, or Raise. I’ll Give it some action and I want to see the flop. Win Big or Go Home. Knew this might happen. Knowing something may happen and learning that it has happened is certainly different.

Hopefully, It Will Take

Last few weeks, I learned a some people knew my recent religious experiences, inklings, and feelings. I never told them. They were people close. They knew of my unspoken hopes to make things right with my past. They knew of my posting. These are very personal. Its private. Yes, it is hypocritical that I write about it. Yeah, I am not so smart at times. Guess, I knew this might happen. Just didn’t think my fear was this big. Lucky for me I jumped before thinking about it too much. Probably would have my Doubt gremlins get the better of me.  Being open, so open, is not something I am very comfortable with. Yet, guess by being so exposed that I am learning to have a bit thicker skin. I am learning to have my voice be heard. Learning to live with a more open heart. I’m learning to be courageous. I’m learning to act heroic. Hopefully, it will take.

Thunder and Lightning Strikes Fear

Feels like the lesson of lightning from the movies Mongol.  All Mongols had a deep rooted fear of lightning. All, except, Termujin. As a child, Termujin was punished for being the son of the poisoned khan. As punishment, he was banished to the mountains, exposed to the booming thunder and lightning strikes. This was a most extreme punishment for any Mongol, yet severe for a young boy. Having no place to run. No place to hide. Termujin had to face the thunder and lightning as a child. Later, this experience would strengthen his resolve to become who he was meant to be. Having nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, young Termujin had to stand there and face his fears. Later, this resolve would strengthen his people. They fought an army of warriors larger, stronger, and better than they. Yet, when the storms came, the lightning struck, the thunders shook, Termujin's army pushed forward, while his enemies cowered. He became his people’s unifier. Termjuin become his people’s Great Khan. He would become the historical figure Genghis Khan. Mongol movie

I’m not saying I want to become good old Genghis. It is just being so open, so exposed. I have nowhere to hide. I must live with thoughts, my feelings, my actions, my inactions, my everything.

With all this out there, people can learn so much me. Some things I am proud. Some, not so much. People can learn just about everything I have said and done. With this fact, it is very scary. Yet, with all this social networking, easy access, and immediacy of one’s action, I have learned that no one is really an island. We are all connected. We are all open. Everyone knows something about us. If they don’t, they can easily find out.  Google yourself. It’s unnerving. 

Videotape, Front Page, Internet--Your Business Is Out There

Yet, it’s all very liberating. It’s a call for people to be accountable and ideally to be more accountable to each other.  One ethics class question I was asked comes to mind. If what you did were broadcasted on CNN, would you do it? If your thoughts were on put on the front of the Valley Press or LA Times, would you be ashamed of it? Well, I think now is the age of reality TV, social-networking, and voyeuristic society, I don’t think one can really avoid it. Tiger Wood's Personal Business

Carrion Do The Same Thing

Knowing all this, one does what he does, thinks what one thinks, and lives as one does. No shame. No apologies. No nothing. Just a person is what one is? Guess, this why abhor shows like TMZ. Piranha paparazzi living on the gaffes and misfortunes of others. Their purpose is to make their bones humiliating, degrading, stalking, ridiculing, and harming the celebratti.  Not really creating stuff, it’s just a place where people tear down and hurt people knowingly. Maybe they are bringing things to light. Maybe they provide some purpose. Carrion do the same thing. Guess, I just don’t like the tearing down much.  If one were to video tape and scrutinize everything you said and didn’t say—did and did not do—think and did not think—I would be gun shy from the glitterati and paparazzi.

Well, my time is up. My writing is much. Go out. Live life authentic.  Live fearlessly. Conquer your gremlins. Live Right. Do Right. Act Right. In time, It will Take. As my mentor might say, “Fake It ‘til You Make It.”

Everything Counts

Tuesday morning. Where do I start? I sit in It's A Grind. Had a morning everything bagel, buttered. No hot cocoa this morning. No service on my Blackberry. No internet service. Thank goodness for Wi-Fi. Not sure where this thread will lead me, but I'm sure something will emerge. The call to Jung's Collective Unconscious. Things are at critical mass now.

Chris leaves by the end of the week. He's at the Radisson for med check.  Sony is cocooning hard core. Not going out much I suspect. John and Ryan are Rolling around. Anesha and Jon are at restaurants all the time. Mitch is having issues. He's feeling out on the lurch. Antoinette and Myk I am not sure. None of them went Chris's going away. Kind of sucks. No it sucks.

Other things were more important. Its the convergence and divergence.  Families and friends spread out and go their way. They leave what's familiar for go to explore other things. They find out who they are. At times people forget who they were in order to become who they need to be. Sometimes people choose to follow different paths.

Don't suspect I will see Chris for sometime. He's re-enlisting. He proposed to Jewel at the going away. In the middle of truth or dare. Good for him. Think that was the reason I felt the need to go. I may not see him in like forever. May never ever. Just wanted to hold on a little longer. This may be the last chance. Off to go find his destiny.

Guess, at parties, its indicator how and much think of you. If they show up or call, if they do nothing, or they forget, if they throw birthday celebration, it is how much you are cared for. Had my birthday recently, I won't say much about that. It is reflection on how you have or have not impacted people's lives. They say when one is the hospital, the one that shows up first is the one that loves you the most. I'm in the hospital. I see it all the time.

I fear my past has  or is catching up. Divergence is happening within my families. Each one going their own way. Palmdale. Victorville. Culver City. Camarillo. West Covina. Glendale. Burbank. Family tress is branching out. Becoming their own thread.

In a generation in half, we will be forgotten. When our children pass. When our children's childrens pass, we will be forgotten. Not ever to be remembered. Got this line from the movie Troy with Brad Pitt. In this age, the heroes of yesteryear are forgotten. Only images and moments etched in memory do they live on. We must take a bite of that apple, so that it will be part of us. It will always be part of us, no matter how short it is. (Phenomenon movie)

Go to that party which may be an hour and half drive. Go to that one of many dance recitals. Gymnastic competition. Watch that them grow and go. The ties that bind is more than the blood coursing the veins. Its the moments of pain and love. Its the moments of hellos and goodbyes. its those celebration of everyday. Our time is finite. Our love needs to be cherished. Our love needs to be nourished by that hug, that word of encouragement, that time together. Before next times become never anymore, go.

Moments happen every second. Moments gone. Moments lost. Moments happen everywhere. There is never nothing happening. Moments are everywhere. Just need to watch. Need to listen. Need to feel.

Well, this moment is over. Got to start a new thread.

Just Waking Up In the Morning Gotta thank . . .Big Smile (Part 1 of 2)

Did not get much sleep last night. Can’t tell you how happy that made me feel. Got home in bed at 2:30 am. My adventure started in the Antelope Valley to Del Amo/ Torrance to Burbank to Bel Air to Pasadena and then back home. It was great. Saw Hana Sushi. Saw the National Cemetary. Saw the 6967. Saw the bar of Yes Man. Drove the green, green mountains of highway 14. What was the greatest part of the entire adventure, it was seeing family.

Left late afternoon around 3:30 from Palmdale. It was late, in that, I had much commuter traffic to go deal with. Everyone would be getting off work and would make the 405 a parking lot. Yet, this day was different. After logging many wasted hours sitting on the freeway, I knew the battle ahead. For some reason,  the roads parted from Palmdale on ramp to the Crenshaw Blvd exit. Got there an hour earlier than planned. Had time to just take it in and say my thanks to the Big Smile. Took to amazing pics, too.

Birthday Wishes Come Early
You know its my birthday in two days. Got my gift a couple days earlier than expected. Got a birthday wish from a beautiful high school friend I went on a dance with. Got another birthday message from a Vampire Wars friend. (I promise to return thank yous after I finishing typing these magical moments)

My gift was seeing my second cousin’s 5th Birthday. It was pretty awesome. A new family. Kids had a birthday habit (genetics, I guess). I had the same issue. We knew cakes felt lonely. Birthday cake is just sitting on the table not being appreciated. . .well,  you got to appreciate. Its lonely. So much activity all around. Kids playing with toys. Family cooking. Laughing, smiling, and the cake gets nothing. Kids are in tune to unhappy vibes of the cake. Well, they want to show love so, kids take swipes of the frosting. Yummm. Inexperience. They need someone to show them the way. Lucky for them I was there to show the way. 

Cake Taster, Birthday Boy's Responsibility
Kids don’t take fingers swipes at the top of the cake. You take it at the bottom. On the sides. Take swipes where no one can see cake divots. The obligatory pictures and Birthday song time are simply too long. Sugar bliss right there, come on. Patience is a virtue; however, one can always for Forgiveness. Cakes want to be eaten. Kids want to eat cake. One can only guess outcome. Plus, there is an unsaid birthday celebrant's responsibility. Who checks the cake is up to birthday standards? It is the responsibility of the celebrant. Don't forget, its his damn party. What are you going to do not eat the cake? Are you not going to sing him birthday? Come on. It his duty to make sure the cake is good. If not, let’s just call the whole thing off. Enough said about that.

Beautiful Home Filled With Love
Went to a beautiful home. With beautiful family, with lots and lots of family and friends. People I never knew until a few days back. You see, I hardly know anyone on my late father’s side. Chelle was gracious to invite her to home to celebrate her son’s birthday. There has been a calling for me to learn more about my Dad's side of the family. I am glad I went. It was incredible. Not only was the eats great. I mean great. No, I mean outstanding. Ribs perfect. Grilled eggplant and peppers. Suvaki--just delicious. Her husband is Greek and manages a Greek restaurant. You know the food was outstanding.

The whole time was full of love. Lots and lots. . .lots of Love. So many things revealed. So many questions answered by a glorious trip.  First, one was greeted by yips and yaps of the furry three. Tiny. Reminds me of Tina, my fearless Chihuahua that loves swimming with the ducks. Smiling hand-sized dogs. The door opened and I was greeted by a  great big smile and warm loving hug. It was cousin Michelle. It was . . .Home.

Don’t get me wrong I love my family. It was different. Kind of like chocolate. I mean there’s three musketeers. The Twix. Hershey Kiss. Its just a new flavor the family of Chocolate. It felt, smelt, tasted, looked, and sounded like. . .Home. Could’ve burst into tears. Just not the guy thing to do. Inside. It was something.  If you ever watch the movie Joy Luck Club at the end, it was like that.It’s just its been a whole lifetime. More than a quarter of decade since I seen Chelle. What I remember Chell, she was the short, skinny girl that Dolph and Robert picked on.  “Cuz” was what she called me. Awesome. Great ear to ear smile. Her presence just fills the room.

Husband a strong, good man. Ex-Judo guy. I've seen his type at Gold's Gym before. Body builder-type. Walks with an air of confidence and strength. He has "If I want to kick your ass air, I love family deeply and I know how to get shit done" air about him. I love that. Well, their home was filled with toys in the living room. The kids were playing, watching Sponge Bob (My favorite). My cousins. Cool. These strangers were part of me. A part I never knew. They were my family, too.  My Dad’s family. Best way I can describe it was like this. When I schooled in Boston for college, coming off the airplane and seeing Mom and Dad smiling and waiting in the airport terminal after more than year away. It was that feeling. A connection of who you are while you weren’t there. It’s a welcoming of old you and new you. It is the merging of all love then and all the love now and love in the future. Its all the important stuff in one single moment.

Stealing a line from the movie Star Trek Insurrection. "A person can live a whole lifetime in a moment in time."

Well, I’m sorry but I got to run. Wish I had more time to write. But, 800+ words , plus ten minutes to get where I need to go in five minutes time.

Starbucks, Jalapenos, and A Jehovah Witness

Been planning my day by where I can charge my laptop and how long will it last? Did not mean to start blogging so much, but there's much to say. Also, set up my day by the smell of Jalapeno peppers in my cars.

Car Stinks, Why Can't I Just Throw It Away? You see, been practicing the flow more often. Taking chance coincidences more as a messages to do and be places that I would not normally not go. No, not the like the feather of Forrest Gump, but yeah more like the feather of Forest Gump. It has been working. No, I do not espouse being entirely care-free and just wait and waste your life away. I am choosing to just Flow.

I should explain where and when I am. Its almost noon and I sit drinking some Earl Grey, Captain Piccard's tea of choice. (Guess I am looking for Star Trek followers) Anyways, went over the Star Bucks on Avenue J, next to In-N-Out. Got out of LCH early, got stuff done quickly. In my car sat half of a Seafood 6 inch on my mid-console. Its felt like the gorilla in the room, that no one is talking about, but its presence is still there. I swear that I was going throw the smelly sub away, but something kept on saying, "Feed the birds" I threw the top part out on the lawn (I hope the birds get to it) Decided not to throw away, in case the ravens and finches weren't hungry.

There were many chances to dump this sandwich. Its Friday and the Waste Management picks up in the morning. There are green dumpsters up and down the street I considered using. Could have thrown it out of the window on the drive to Lancaster from Palmdale. On 70th Street East, a construction crew stopped traffic and I didn't want to get caught littering. Could have dropped it off at one of LCH many trash dispensers, but. . . This food, if not going to feed me, was going to feed some kind of animal. That decision was made.

Anyways, returned to my car and the Jalapeno smell just hits. I asked myself, "What I am doing??? There is no "F*&king birds around. Get rid of it." Then it hit, Apollo Park.

"Tina, Stop Chasing the Ducks" I Pleaded If you are not aware what Apollo Park is, it is a water reclamation park. (Funny story, I will blog some time later. I did not know at the time that its three man-made lakes were made to reclaim water. Many years back, my chihuahua Tina decided to go for a swim. Ducks were having so much fun, she on her own, decides to join and jump in Lake Aldrin. She did not know it was re-claimed water. I did not know at the time either. I thanked God, I don't swim with my mouth open. In my view, she's bowling ball small and was becoming bebe small as she kept on swimming. She did not look like she was coming back anytime soon. She may get tired and she's out there. . .and getting further out. "Buckets!!!" I scream in my head. Yeah, I played lifeguard. Guess, I won't tell you later)

Anyways, Apollo Park was where my Dad took us. Housed here is the capsule from one of the Apollo II Space mission. Its a nice oasis in the desert of the Antelope Valley. Brown, desert covered with tumbleweed and Joshua trees, then there is 26 acres of green landscaped parks with creosates and pinyon pines. Aldrin, Armstrong, and Collins are the names of the three inter-connected lakes with gaggle of geese and flock of ducks. Fishing tournaments are held here often.

If you ever watch that Honda Commercial where a group of friend drives over a patch of road and song is played. This is right in front of Apollo Park. They call it the Singing Road. Grooves in the road that causes the tires to sing when one drives over them. YouTube it. Imagine a player piano (aka, pianola or autopiano) but giant-sized. These are the self-playing piano, with perforated paper,and metal rolls. Perforated paper are the grooves in the road. Tires are the metal rolls. Honda Civic is the piano where the sound resonates.

LeeAnn, Car Delays May Be There For A Reason
(Inside Joke, Follower/Facebook Friend Post)Back to the Jalapeno smell. Considered going straight to Apollo Park, but I thought half a subway sandwich and my laptop is on two bars, maybe. Not worth it. I said, "Just, go." There it was, the answer. Mercardo Vallarta, its like a Vons Mexican style. No, more like a Pavillions Spanish-ized, if you know the difference. Got some bread and I headed out. Getting the bread forces me to go to Apollo Park. If I get in a groove, at Starbucks, I may not go. Damn, Ducks again. First Tina, now my car smells of Jalapeno peppers. I go to Starbucks charge my laptop, sync my Ipod for Nike+, and to journalize.

Starbucks is in the same parking lot. Decided not to take off my teal LCH Scrubs, too much effort. Opened the doors and I saw that my usual table, next to the outlet, had no seats. They were all taken by people dressed in their Sunday Best. Men wore Dillard jackets, paisley ties, and black leather shoes, (I think rockports). Ladies were Lane Bryant-ish. Thought it was a real estate sales meeting. Only one person in color out of ten. Or maybe it was a hospital certification board. One of the people seated looked like someone at LCH.

Anyways, got ready to set up. Sitting by the couch and coffee table I sat down. Laptop out. Ipod with connector cable in. Power chord plugged in. Journal out. Good, I was ready. All of the sudden, a fifty year old man starts talking. Dressed in a blue blazer, drinking his Venti coffee. It was to well-rehearsed and relaxed. He talking to me. Blue blazer asks me about the Hospital and when is LCH moving to the new Palmdale Regional. He's not a LCH administrator.

Looking into his eyes warmly, trying not to miss the magical moment of the encounter, I pause. Sizing him and determining how to respond is just automatic, I smile. He saw my teal scrub with LCH embroidered. Maybe he was just being cordial and just asking. He may be an Agency Certification Administrator with his staff testing me. Don't want to brush off. Don't want to offend. Maybe he is trying to sell me something. My warning lights come on. I know these chance encounters. I was in sales. He warms me up and says, he visited a friend in the LCH ER. I am naturally defensive to strangers approaching me out of the blue. We exchange small talk and ask what that meeting was.

Answer Revealed. I Shake My Head Inside and Smile It was a Jehovah Witness gathering. I smile inside. Did not know what to expect. He's going to try to close. I speak to him and say "Went to Catechism Inquiry and said I was not surprised at the encounter." His wife comes by and introduces herself. I try to get up, but I am weighed down with laptop, ipod, backpack, etc., "Joyce," she says. His name, Rob.

I feel nose tickle. A booger was coming out, Nice. I excuse myself. Thank you for the social faux pas. I grab a napkin, wipe nose, and get my bearings. Stalling,I ask the waitress for the Earl Grey ordered, but was not given. I return to my seat and setup, notice his cellphone in hand. (Common sales technique)Rob's smooth and practiced. Rob says, his associates had to leave. Step 5 in close, create urgency Good, did not have to make an excuse to extricate from the conversation. Close is coming next. Been there, done that. Did not want to be preached to. (I will bet money he is an insurance agent, car sale, or something in sales. I know the type. My Dad was one. I was one, at a time) Then he asks for the close, "Can I have your number so that we can maybe talk?" I hesitate, but decide to give it. Sales encounter is a true art. I can recognize and appreciate it, but I do not love it.

Big Smile, If You Didn't Get The Message . . .
The Jehovah crew leaves, I decide to sit at my usual table. Think to myself, "Bet Rob thinks he has a prospect. Probably saying that to his Jehovah crew, Possibilities are everywhere. . .That is how its done. God is everywhere." Okay, I don't Hate. A heavy set lady, textbook on the table corner, is deep in study a few feet away. A couple waiting for their order recognizes her and walks toward her. They exchange pleasantries. She says she teaches music and I catch ". . .Bible Study." I say to myself, "F-ing Jalapenos." I smile. I think of the many choices I had: Gym, Library, Barnes & Nobles, Los Angeles, Home. I show up at this place at this time. This juxtaposition in time and place. Approached by a Jehovah Witness. Sitting next to a lady doing Bible study.

I just shake my head. If you have been reading my posts lately, I think you will smile, too. At any rate, three more posts to go for January. By the way, just made a great trash can shot. My Ipod is synced, my car stinks of Jalapenos, and day old $1.99 bread rolls are waiting to feed ducks at Apollo Park.