Answer: In the Form of Question, Please.

 

I Can't Go On, I'll Can Go On

Just finished the last few minutes of BandSlam. There is a song in my head, "Everything I Own" I Will Give Everything I Own. . .Just to have ya.. ." Vanessa Hudgens, Kaprece’s former favorite singer. She’s into Usher and Taylor Swift. Boy meets girl. Girl leaves Boy. Boy gets back the girl. Happy ending.

If life were that simple. It is. No, I will be the first one to admit, "Life is not a movie." Nor should it be. One hundred minutes does not encapsulate a life. It is everything and more. It is the sum total of what we are, what we experience, how we filter these feelings, thoughts, and imaginations. To think that life is simply work, school, wife, family, and the rest. . .well, it is this and more.

We Have No Control

Forces around us play havoc in our lives. Whether it is an unappreciative teacher or boss. Maybe it is the unloving and uncaring other. Maybe it is the economy and the Evil forces over there, in some distant land. We, at times, feel like a puppet being played by some marionette master. At times, we are that.

We Have Control, I Am Captain

Still, we must remember, we are the Captain of our own soul.  The body we have is a transport on who we go through during this life’s journey. Sometimes, the body gets banged up. Still, there is more. We are also the construct of what the brain creates. Mind. Our perceptions on how we see the world. They say the line between genius and madness is a thin line. 

Yet, the programming that mind creates, the heuristics, the sum total of what we know can get flawed, outdated, corrupt. At times, we need to reboot new software to the shell of the programming. Windows 7, Vista, 3.O and the like. Think, of the people with Alzheimer or Autism. Are they no longer the person we think they are because the mind is broken? INVICTUS, Poem by William Ernest Henley

Human Potential, May Be Limitless

Problems, Challenges, Opportunities

Person would quickly discard others as defective, broken, . . as being special. Well, they are. We all are. We each are more than the stuff we can perceive. Sometimes people go to a higher power for answers. At times, we need to pray. We do. 

I Believe. . .

However, there are unbelievers. Well, I am not sure entirely that this without cause. A lady close to me who denies certain things exist and pooh poohs this as ridiculous. Do I think there are other life forms not of this planet? Sure, it is big out there. “It would seem like an awful waste of space. . .” to think we are the only ones. Do I believe ghosts and afterlife? Sure, I am sure each one of has had or knows someone who has had an experience with an afterlife. Do I believe in God? Yes, I believe and love God. 

We each have a destination. All on its own time and situation.

Only One Answer, More Than One Answer,

Am I religious puritan? Hardly. Do I think there is more than the Bible? The Koran?  Bhagavad Gita? Yes. Think of all the many religions out there. Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Wiccans, Hari Krishna and Sikhs. Could go on with other religions? But. . .this is not my point. There are certain truths we have face every single day. We are faced with decisions to make, do, believe, feel, and think. Sure, some are ridiculous. Sure, some are well thought. There is more. 

Muhulland Fountain

True Today. True Tomorrow. Never Was True. Always True

Paradigms are just body of beliefs that are relevant at the time. There are many truths have laid hidden. Some facts are suppressed, repressed, destroyed , manufactured in order to hold on to certain truisms. Logic for one has been used to justify certain life events. Religion has been used as weapon for horrible acts.  Laws have all too often been legal, but immoral. History is littered with atrocities

Nietzche

I used to enjoy sports. I used to enjoy politics. Comics, movies, books, and the like. I still enjoy many of these things. However, being locked to certain beliefs and feelings have been more of struggle these days. We need Heroes, real and imagined. At times, villains win. Sometimes, the Celtics win (Just kidding, I like Larry Byrd, Danny Ainge, and the Chief) Faith is at time hard-earned. Many problems are man made. So are many of its Solutions.

Facebook Fatigue

Sitting out at the Grind again. I find that there has been a certain fatigue. Been thinking of a concept of facebook fatigue. Many people I know personally have been cocooning. Not wanting to share stuff out there. Totally understandable. Putting one’s life thoughts, actions, beliefs, feeling, hopes in a post is tiresome. In many ways, it has been purely voyeuristic. Reading others thoughts, clicking like and adding oneself to a fan page. It has been somewhat exhibitionistic, broadcasting to the world. Look at my picture. Check out where I am. See how many miles I have done, read my ads, join my group because I know the good life. Perhaps, this is true. Don’t want to judge. Takes too much time away from enjoying where I am and who is with me.

Del Negro: Former All Star, Coaches Clippers

Go Both Ways

We have a duty.  I believe, we must give what we take. We must continue to provide guidance and patience for others to make way. Sure many will fall down. Many will not reach their dream this lifetime. That is okay. It is supposed to be that way. Many will not have the same dreams and wishes that you had. They are not supposed to. We are not our parents. Nor our kids us. We must face whatever is ahead of us with the body and knowledge (and insights) to respond.

Me, We or Me, Wheee

I think back to this saying. Muhammad Ali (the Manny Pacquiao of his time to those that don’t know) gave the speech at a prestigious university. All in attendance screamed for the former fighter to give them a poem. He was poet, a great storyteller. He said, “Me, we.” I heard of hit in a movie, “When We We’re Kings.” I thought what a magnificent social leader. Me, we are part of a bigger community. We are all in this together. Recognizing individualism and collectivism in a short two word poem. Later, I read somewhere another attendee , “Heard it this way. Me, Wheeee.” Meaning it is a good life and I am enjoying as best as I can. Both powerful possibilities. Both credible interpretations.

Guiding Light, Prometheus and Epimetheus

My point is this. Whatever fundamental truths are learned in the experience and totality of everything before and future, it all has meaning.  Sounds like gobbledygook (yes, this is a word) It may be. We must look to both the future and past for insight for decisions we make today. Both are relevant and irrelevant.  We must decide to hold on to certain values and truths and we must decide to go a very different way if the past is holding us back on who we need to be. We are decider of our personal realities. Prometheus and Epimetheus

Your Question, Your Answer, Your Life

Truth is this. . . 

(Enough Said)

She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain When She Comes

Two Steps Back
Solvang--Took the long way to three hour tour. Got a bit lost. It rained. Windshield wiper needed replacement. Got bad food service. Left for another restaurant. Got bad food. Drove home in the pouring rain. Vista Point of the Saint Ynez River closed. Knew I should have stopped earlier. Gift shop at Chumash Casino was limited. My favorite Catch-21 was closed. Pita Pit just closed in Valencia. 

Overall, I had a good time.

One Giant Leap For Me-Kind
Spent all day driving, eating, and taking pictures out of my car. Said hello to nice people. Angelo from Tom’s. Greek fella. Got to say in Greek.  Thank you thanks to much needed Facebook support (Thanks Michelle, Roselyn). Got free drinks, food, and stuff by just listening today.  Took some great pics. Chumash Reservation area was. . .not that big. Beautiful and if I had more time I would like to have just sat there for awhile.   

Was up in the clouds today. Got to look down at the clouds, too. Took a view of the Santa Ynez River and Cachuma Lake. Makes me want to visit Lake Elizabeth in the near future. Never have before.  But it is more than inkling now.

Visited the Mission of Santa Ines. Think I want to go to service there one day. Think I want to visit the other mission, too. San Fernando and San Buenaventura. 

Didn’t put my feet in the Pacific like I would have liked. Too rocky, too rainy, and getting too late. Waves were crashing hard and I had no change of clothes. Got a bit scared at the black van at the Sea Cliff, too. Very Nomad-ish. (1980’s movie)

Listened on the radio on 60 minutes about the Nine year boy old finding remains of the other nine year old that lived 1.9 million years ago. Supposedly, it is the connection between homo sapiens and Cro-Magnons.

Pacific Coast, Chumash, and Korean War--Sunday Highways
On the drive to Solvang, I kept on seeing the real Camino sign on the highway. Thought about how the Danish journey to the far west from European roots to create the town of Solvang. Driving the windy road, seeing the Chumash Highway sign, it made me think. Danish were not the first here. There were many others. Chumash Indians, probably the Spaniards, than the Danes. Probably before them were the Chinese (If you haven’t read or heard there was a theory that China landed in California some time before Columbus). Driving kept me think of connections. Made me think of the others before me. Made me think of the people after me.

Memories On These Lanes
What also fascinated me was the drive. It was memory lane for me: going to Carpenteria with Shell, driving through Ventura thinking of J. Hill and Kirsten, Delpster and UCSB leadership camp. What fascinated me the most was the drive through the mountains and then the discovery of the Santa Ynez River. It was my remembered sighting.  I’ve seen brooks before, but never a river like the Santa Ynez. 

Read somewhere that rivers were the symbol of life. When I saw the Santa Ynez River, I just wanted to follow it wherever it led me. Remembered a good time with Glenn Young going to Kern River.

Had intentions of taking pictures of the Cachuma Lake, but didn’t want to spend the parking fee. Not worth it. Still did not get to Solvang yet, time was short, and it was getting late. Would have liked to have spent more time there. (Another few things to add on the life’s to do list)

Just For the Trees, That's Enough
Finally got to Chumash territory. Chumash reserve, well, its nice but nothing to take great pictures of. What I saw was green, a few trees, and more green. Guess that is why the Chumash settled this area. Big spanses of green. Close to the river for fishing and hunting. Beautiful area. Close to the ocean. Kind of.

Days Coming To an End, Still Much To Do
Spoke to a pretty Chumash lady at the Casino. Big Brown eyes. Smart.  Could have talked more, but it was late and there was more life to see. Needed to get to Seacliff before it got too dark. Needed to get on the hwy 126 and get some fruits from the freeway. Needed to go live life. If I had more time, another life perhaps.

Another post, another time.

Churches, Temples, and Marathons--Just Another Day At The Beach

Sunday and it’s a quarter til seven. Been a busy and filling day. I’m at Vista Point again. It’s getting dark. Cars are racing past again. Waiting for the sunset to come down. Going to say my prayers and thank the Big smile for letting me enjoy this day as I have. Been all around and it filled my day, but I sense there is something missing. 

Listening to the Corrs on my way up and down today. It’s been good day, but. . .

Events of the day. Went to Sunday Mass. The Father giving the Mass had the shakes. At one time, I thought he fell asleep. It was a bit hard to hear at times. He was soft-spoken or had the mic a little too far from his mouth. Picked the missal and read some of the songs and prayers. Think I figured out the Reiki Guide thing. It was Gabriel. He’s an Angel prominent in both Islam and Christianity. Left after the wine and bread thing. I am not sure what you call it.

After taking some pics, headed down to LA. Wanted to see part of the LA Marathon. It was kind of cool walking on Highland. All the streets were blocked off so I had free roam. Walking in the middle of the streets taking pictures here and there. Would never be able to do this at any other time of the day or any time of the year. Reminded me when my Integra stalled on the 170 and I had to get pushed by police car. They stopped the freeway for me during prime time rush hour. It sounded like the ocean stopped. It was so quiet. The silence was deafening.

Took pictures of the Church on Highland. Got the Lucky Strike. Also, took a few up and down Hollywood Blvd. Finally got some pictures of the Ripley’s Believe Or Not Dinosaur. Also took a few in the Egyptian and Mann’s Chines. Watched the water dance and took some pics of Elephants in the sky.

Called Jay to see if he was up for a bite, but he had a study date with a femme. Asked if Bri, Mike and the kids were at the house. They were. However, that voice that listen at times said the Beach and that where I went.

Got on Highland after picking up a sub. Almost got rear-ended by a guy in a truck. Didn’t speed up because he was honking his horn at me. Well, when you do that you are inviting me to be an asshole. I did not speed up as I was going to so, I just kept it at the other cars pace. Truck driver got pissed. Didn’t care. So he got in front of me and decided to slow down. I just smiled and let it go.

Well, off the  170 and got on the Ventura West. Thought of the many times of the Warner Center and LA Fitness. Thought about stopping by Fryes and taking some pics on the way back. Anyways, Got off Malibu Canyon and I was stopping off at most of the viewing stops and took the obligatory pictures. 

All of sudden I found myself at the Hindu temple. Made a quick left and went in. You had to take of your shoes and which I was much obliged. So I wandered around took some pictures of the temple. Beautiful artwork. There was saint or some religious figure in all corners of the temple. At times, people would go to each corner and I assume say a prayer. I wondered if they prayed on Sundays like Christians. Guess, I will have to look that up. There was a service and I walked in. No chairs. The holy man was chanting and people were sitting barefooted and socked. Incense was burning. 

There was a sign saying, “No Photos or Videos.” Thought this was strange. I’m curious to visit other temples. Synagogue and Muslim temple are next on the list.

I finally got to the Beach. Zuma that is. Its been some time. Thought about Brad and Shelly. Brad and I would take a trip here and there. I wondered how he was doing. I remember that Valentines when Shelly locked the key in the car. I was freezing because I had shorts. She got dressed before locking the keys in the car. My luck. Took more pictures of surfers and families enjoying the day. I download my Marathon and Hollywood walk pictures. Sorted out some postcards. I was going to write Shazam and Laines, but it started getting cold and I wanted to head back.

Stopped here at the 15 minutes park stops and took more photos of the Malibu Canyons. Driving through the Canyons I passed the Calabasas sign. Prece’s coach is moving here in a couple of years. Offered to move down here so Prece can train with her coach here. Another time. Another story. Eventually got on Ventura East. Driving past Topanga, Tarzana and Encino. I saw a sign for historical site at Encino. Never found it. Got on Ventura Blvd and said, its time to get back.

Drove by Sepulveda Park and I found myself at the Japanese Gardens. Didn’t have the chance to go, because it was blocked off. That was something I definitely would like to see. Some other adventure. At any rate, I found myself at the Archery Park wanting to string up and shoot a quiver. Saw couple of Filipinos there shooting. An older man and father with his son. I could tell by the speak. The older Filipino man was eyeing the Armenians or were they Russian?

Probably Armenians. They had the nice bows. Compound, camouflage. I could tell they were from the old school. Just the air about them. One of them let loose one by accident and took off. The older one scolded they younger. All I could hear was “. . .Safety. . .” Every so often, they would say, “Clear” and retrieve their arrows. Reminded me of pool. It’s good form not to Shark a shooter.

Well, I left after taking some pictures of the Archer shooting at the haystack. Passed the Cricket match and took a photo of the Sepulveda rock sign. Kids were all around. Kind of nice. Used to work in the area and I never took the time to drive by. Got on the freeway by getting on Roscoes. Passed my Tommies and the Budweiser Brewery. Got 405 and headed north. Took the Soledad Canyon offramp and pledged that I would go see the CatHouse.

Here I be now on Vista Point. Its dark and the sun has set. Got 30 minutes to do a couple of miles of cardio.  Have to get home soon to tape Life on Discovery. Maybe I can catch the Laker game too. Be well and Have Faith. No moral. No thought exercise. No meaning, except what you give it. It’s just a day in this journey.

Friar-dom?

Lynn said in a former life I was a monk. Or my Reiki guide is a monk. Without any prompting and before we broke, she said an image of a monk kept on coming to her. Earth mother said she thinking my special word for me was "Faith" before I said it to our reading group. During my drunken college days, I dressed up as a monk and woke up a with a 9 inch wooden cross (and aching jaw where someone I still don't know who hit me during a drunken Halloween stupor) I have still have priest outfit that I wore for last Halloween. 

 She said “45” kept her in head. Lynn was my Reiki Instructor. I think I understand the 45, but I will keep that one to myself. 

Won’t deny that I feel comfortable and at peace in church. I'll will admit that I felt a calling to the clergy. I'll admit there is book sitting next to me named “Everything Understanding Islam.” I'll admit that I made a promise one year to “Make My Soul Stronger.” Took a Philosophy as Religion and Bible at Literature class. I'll admit that there was a need to be Baptised again. I'll admit that Abbey in Valyermo felt like home. I'll admit that when Welford and Shazam balked about me being a priest that my natural instinct was to say, “No, you are wrong. Priestly vocation has been a part of me. This life or past life—it is part of who I am.”

Recently learned my Uncle Mike was accepted to a most prestigious seminary school in the Philippines. Learned one of my Fonacier relatives is a priest too. Maybe its in the blood. Whatever it is, I'll admit that I believe that I am a Man of Faith. What that Faith is, I’m still discovering.

My blog posts are of redemption and higher calling. It is about the heroic journey. Things are coming to clarity now. Still do not know where this journey leads, but here I be. Still not sure if this my life or my guide to do be and do, all I know is that I'm beginning to know. Still coming to grips with these messages.

This will be a short post. Sorry.

Have Faith.

March 10: Pictures are worth a 1000 words

Today's Events
5:59 Shit, Showered Shaved.

6:10 Heading to morning mass at 6:30
7:10 G-Time at His House. Leaving St. Marys
7:50 Went off trail. Got Winded. Looked at Junipers and Horse poop
9:30 Waiting for Corinna at Jen's place. Car Garage broken. Hangovers, hahahaha. Beautiful tree
10 Gassed at Ampam. Ha Chew is gum. Called Camille's missing Artist Way. Lost Black Book. Taking Back Roads. Hi to Cat House. Talks of Las Vegas reunion

10:45 Take Truck Route instead. Corinna Cringes in the tunnel. I'm driving fast in a tunnel I can't see. With Big Rigs all around. Go Bold or Get Old.

11:14 Off Highland. In Hollywood. Thinks of Shazams and Tamara at Lodge

11:35 Passed the Golden Apple. Take a picture of another comic shop on Melrose. Talk about 7 min of standup

11:40 Good parking space. Go pee and get dinosaur donuts. Think about buying academy award

12: Pretty girl. Not really listening to Corinna, instead looking at Pretty Girl works at CBS or restaurant at the Grove. Eat Mexican because Colorado Mexicans aren't nice to Corinna. Learn of Haanes and the kids.

12:15 Make eye contact and small talk at Scent shop with pretty girl. No digits. Corinna gets tea. Doggy Bakery. Where I spent my youth reading comics and porn, I was lucky. $10 validation card, No we wont pay. Haans knows Hindi.

1 Fairfax. Writers Guild. Who shot Notorious BIG. Little Ethopita and Jewish Council for Woman. Looking for Pollo. Get feeling will find in 10 minutes

1:15 Mgt messed up order for one customer. 8 pieces. Name tag for Lisa. She got a Jones for them bones. Kids cone dipped. Server has Big kids

1:30 Sad Memories of LAX. Blue Man Billboard, "WTF" Look as plane passes overhead

1:45 Corinna go bye bye. Sad. 1 Month see her again. My first strip club I went to closed. Chess at Embassy. Aerobics cert across the street. Was I angry? Yes.

145 got to be in Lancaster by 2:30. Big Donut. Think 2012 movie

2 Pass Howard Hughes. Traffic great. Time to look at overpass and grafitti

205 Passed the VA.Trivia Pursuit question. How many bathrooms does this hotel have?

2:13 Sherman Oaks Galleria. Glitter, Dave, LA Fitness Van Nuys. Missed Budlight Brewery and Tommies Runs with Shazam.

2:20 I like waters at night. Lights come on during Christmas

2:25: Always wondered what the hell is that for?

2:30 Late. Vasques Rock. I love guana. Vista Point and 3 Crosses.

2:45 Stopped by LCH and picked up some Flip Food. Stores is not closed

3:30 Dropped of broken bracelet. Store near Forever 21

3:45 Passed Airport, Joe Davies, and Gold Course. Man sells Flowers. Much respect.

4 Nap time

6:30 Headed to Supersport and then Pick up Prece at gym. On Sierra now

745 3 miles for Nike+ done. No lifting tonight

8 Going to ask parent about visiting AV Akido

8:15 Am/PM on Ave M and Sierra. Talk to Prece about George Foreman and Muhammad Ali "Ali Boma Ye"

9 Talk to Angelo about Star Wars. Hear about backpacks and eat hot wings and bread sticks
10:30 Watch some UFC, Fast Furious 3. Get Keys to head to lift at old 24 hrs. Get Laptop instead. Fall asleep after finishing post.