Friday Night Lights

SEASONS CHANGE
Going to bed early. Warm day. Triple digits.  Needed to take a nice dip today. Nothing fatiguing, just a way to escape this Summer October. Funny in 30 days will Halloween and thoughts of wearing a sweater feels comforting. Friday night lights where the big game is just a few days away. I can hear the band playing down the street. Not my high school, but still mine just the same.  Thoughts of the band director’s past discretion are gone with yesterday’s memories. I can hear the crowds cheer as new Hope springs.

AMAZING MOMENTS

Missed catches. Game saving tackles. Overloading the left side as that one lone defender flies and deflects that point after. Watching the errant kick sail just pass the field goal. Wide. There was that incredible catch by Shannon. He looked like a gymnast tumbling through the sky as his legs cart wheeled over the defender. Seeing his hand shoot up in the sky as the referee raised his arms upwards. That was something. 

NEVER ALONE
I am sitting in the crowds with her. She’s not here. She’s married with child. I see her Facebook post of his newest adventure. Still she is with me. In my heart, I am not alone. Her memories is enough. Like then, there was no one else and that would be okay. No cares in the world just being there. It was all that mattered. Never really cared for the outcome of the game. Just enjoyed the night with her.

Times changed now.

ICE CUBE

I am on the field now, watching my brother, the Coach. He’s on the sideline shouting at his players. His wife, my sister in law, says he might get kicked out of the game.  He’s a passionate player.  Voice that would scare most. An intimidating character. Reminds me of O’Shea Jackson. Think NWA and Are We There Yet?  He has that Mad Dog Scare. Eyebrows furrowed. Face grimaced. Ears red. His coach said one time, “Give me 20 more like him and we would never lose any battle.” This is true. Born under the sign of the warrior, Sagittarius. He is smart, athletic, with an indomitable will. Not tall in stature, he always found a way to compete. He found a way to excel.

FALCON PRIDE FOREVER

Sitting in the stands with girls. Both off from gymnastic practice. Texting and Instagramming. Wearing the Falcon Jersey. They move with the cheerleaders. Screaming and shouting better than the ones on the field.  They have been going to the games since they were little. “Palmdale Falcons How Do You Feel?” They scream, “We Feel Good. Oh We Feel So Good. . .There is more to it. Add some hip gyrating and arms twirling like riding a bronco. You get the idea. 

Dorian’s favorite is “Palmdale. . .Palmdale. . .Palmdale” Crowd waves one arm in unison as the team rallies for a score.  

FOOTBALL WIVES

Luz is talking with the other Football wives. One is the Cheer-leading Coach. The other is wife of the head coach. She has the most spirit. She screams when no one else would. She shouts and pumps up the crowd. She is the one that all of them love. She is the heart.

YOUNG FALCON FRIENDS

Angelo is with his new found friends. Running up and down the stairs. He gives the cheerleaders a kiss. He’s only four years old.  He’s their mascot. He’ll be an athlete, too.

Score is 54 to 6 at half time.

Lancaster is a fine team, but simply this not their year. I heard next Friday will be for Golden League. Both teams are undefeated. Couple years ago, the Rebels beat Palmdale during our Homecoming, 27-0. Not a great atmosphere. They might have won State. Or was it CIF Sectionals. Still.

What’s best is that on any given Friday one team can win and turn around a whole new season.

NOW MATTERS

For me, it’s the time right now. Watching the kids grow up. Watching the kids stay young. Watching memories of yesterday come back again.  It is the then, the now, and tomorrow all right here. Smell of the hamburgers wafts through the air. The monotone football announcer relaying the game to the crowd. It’s the half inflated Eagle across the field. Band and flag team parade across the field. Cheerleaders from the other side invite their counterparts to sit with them in a time honored  tradition camaraderie.

CYCLE ENDS, CYCLE BEGINS

Last whistle sings and the game ends. Palmdale Second stringers get one more touchdown. Defense pitches a shutout the second half. Its one more win for the season. Both team lines up and slap hands in respect. One more happy memory. Until next year when Friday Night Lights will shine again.

Answer: In the Form of Question, Please.

 

I Can't Go On, I'll Can Go On

Just finished the last few minutes of BandSlam. There is a song in my head, "Everything I Own" I Will Give Everything I Own. . .Just to have ya.. ." Vanessa Hudgens, Kaprece’s former favorite singer. She’s into Usher and Taylor Swift. Boy meets girl. Girl leaves Boy. Boy gets back the girl. Happy ending.

If life were that simple. It is. No, I will be the first one to admit, "Life is not a movie." Nor should it be. One hundred minutes does not encapsulate a life. It is everything and more. It is the sum total of what we are, what we experience, how we filter these feelings, thoughts, and imaginations. To think that life is simply work, school, wife, family, and the rest. . .well, it is this and more.

We Have No Control

Forces around us play havoc in our lives. Whether it is an unappreciative teacher or boss. Maybe it is the unloving and uncaring other. Maybe it is the economy and the Evil forces over there, in some distant land. We, at times, feel like a puppet being played by some marionette master. At times, we are that.

We Have Control, I Am Captain

Still, we must remember, we are the Captain of our own soul.  The body we have is a transport on who we go through during this life’s journey. Sometimes, the body gets banged up. Still, there is more. We are also the construct of what the brain creates. Mind. Our perceptions on how we see the world. They say the line between genius and madness is a thin line. 

Yet, the programming that mind creates, the heuristics, the sum total of what we know can get flawed, outdated, corrupt. At times, we need to reboot new software to the shell of the programming. Windows 7, Vista, 3.O and the like. Think, of the people with Alzheimer or Autism. Are they no longer the person we think they are because the mind is broken? INVICTUS, Poem by William Ernest Henley

Human Potential, May Be Limitless

Problems, Challenges, Opportunities

Person would quickly discard others as defective, broken, . . as being special. Well, they are. We all are. We each are more than the stuff we can perceive. Sometimes people go to a higher power for answers. At times, we need to pray. We do. 

I Believe. . .

However, there are unbelievers. Well, I am not sure entirely that this without cause. A lady close to me who denies certain things exist and pooh poohs this as ridiculous. Do I think there are other life forms not of this planet? Sure, it is big out there. “It would seem like an awful waste of space. . .” to think we are the only ones. Do I believe ghosts and afterlife? Sure, I am sure each one of has had or knows someone who has had an experience with an afterlife. Do I believe in God? Yes, I believe and love God. 

We each have a destination. All on its own time and situation.

Only One Answer, More Than One Answer,

Am I religious puritan? Hardly. Do I think there is more than the Bible? The Koran?  Bhagavad Gita? Yes. Think of all the many religions out there. Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Wiccans, Hari Krishna and Sikhs. Could go on with other religions? But. . .this is not my point. There are certain truths we have face every single day. We are faced with decisions to make, do, believe, feel, and think. Sure, some are ridiculous. Sure, some are well thought. There is more. 

Muhulland Fountain

True Today. True Tomorrow. Never Was True. Always True

Paradigms are just body of beliefs that are relevant at the time. There are many truths have laid hidden. Some facts are suppressed, repressed, destroyed , manufactured in order to hold on to certain truisms. Logic for one has been used to justify certain life events. Religion has been used as weapon for horrible acts.  Laws have all too often been legal, but immoral. History is littered with atrocities

Nietzche

I used to enjoy sports. I used to enjoy politics. Comics, movies, books, and the like. I still enjoy many of these things. However, being locked to certain beliefs and feelings have been more of struggle these days. We need Heroes, real and imagined. At times, villains win. Sometimes, the Celtics win (Just kidding, I like Larry Byrd, Danny Ainge, and the Chief) Faith is at time hard-earned. Many problems are man made. So are many of its Solutions.

Facebook Fatigue

Sitting out at the Grind again. I find that there has been a certain fatigue. Been thinking of a concept of facebook fatigue. Many people I know personally have been cocooning. Not wanting to share stuff out there. Totally understandable. Putting one’s life thoughts, actions, beliefs, feeling, hopes in a post is tiresome. In many ways, it has been purely voyeuristic. Reading others thoughts, clicking like and adding oneself to a fan page. It has been somewhat exhibitionistic, broadcasting to the world. Look at my picture. Check out where I am. See how many miles I have done, read my ads, join my group because I know the good life. Perhaps, this is true. Don’t want to judge. Takes too much time away from enjoying where I am and who is with me.

Del Negro: Former All Star, Coaches Clippers

Go Both Ways

We have a duty.  I believe, we must give what we take. We must continue to provide guidance and patience for others to make way. Sure many will fall down. Many will not reach their dream this lifetime. That is okay. It is supposed to be that way. Many will not have the same dreams and wishes that you had. They are not supposed to. We are not our parents. Nor our kids us. We must face whatever is ahead of us with the body and knowledge (and insights) to respond.

Me, We or Me, Wheee

I think back to this saying. Muhammad Ali (the Manny Pacquiao of his time to those that don’t know) gave the speech at a prestigious university. All in attendance screamed for the former fighter to give them a poem. He was poet, a great storyteller. He said, “Me, we.” I heard of hit in a movie, “When We We’re Kings.” I thought what a magnificent social leader. Me, we are part of a bigger community. We are all in this together. Recognizing individualism and collectivism in a short two word poem. Later, I read somewhere another attendee , “Heard it this way. Me, Wheeee.” Meaning it is a good life and I am enjoying as best as I can. Both powerful possibilities. Both credible interpretations.

Guiding Light, Prometheus and Epimetheus

My point is this. Whatever fundamental truths are learned in the experience and totality of everything before and future, it all has meaning.  Sounds like gobbledygook (yes, this is a word) It may be. We must look to both the future and past for insight for decisions we make today. Both are relevant and irrelevant.  We must decide to hold on to certain values and truths and we must decide to go a very different way if the past is holding us back on who we need to be. We are decider of our personal realities. Prometheus and Epimetheus

Your Question, Your Answer, Your Life

Truth is this. . . 

(Enough Said)

Summer in September

Here Comes the Sun
Thursday, the day before the weekend starts. Sitting on BJs corner for a moment watching the sunrise. Its up already. Morning has started. Trains have passed and the cars streaming past. Days are shorter. Darkness comes sooner. Nights are colder. Autumn is upon us. 

SAD
When the Fall comes, can’t help feel a bit sadness. Summer is soon gone, time to hibernate. Seasonal affect disorder(SAD)--It is. It is when some feel depressed. People sleep more. Eat more carbohydrates. They are lacking in energy. This has been my mood of late. Something is coming to an end. Ennui my company.

Entertain the Cells
If I were living anywhere outside of California, it would be much worse. Here in the AV there is sun 320 days out of the year. Its bright and I need the constant heliotherapy. Not the type to fake and bake. My photoreceptors need the energy du soleil. Got to excite the cells.

Lessons  Soon Learned
For many, it is time for school. My nieces started a couple days ago. One said she didn’t like this time of the year. She worries that she would have forgotten all the school lessons last school year. Her older sister doesn’t want to go because she is not with family. For both, summer has come and gone so quickly. Don’t have the heart to tell them each year it will get shorter as they grow up. Time just flies by and before they know it they will be longing for simpler times. That blur only gets worse. For now, I will just smile. It is a lesson they will learn themselves.

Hard To Let Go
On FB, I saw a post from a person I once knew. A good friend of long ago who seems to have taken leave from friendship. Haven’t heard from him in years. My grade school buddy, my middle school sleepover companion, my high school life friend . He was the one I could always turn to. I miss him dearly. We were neighbors at one time. My best friend through the sunnier times.

Seasons Change--People Change
However, life happened in the middle. Season changed. Summer left and Fall came quickly upon us. Our life rhythms went a different paces. My bloom to leave the AV happened sooner. His later. Hoped at one time to reconnect and share the summers again. However, nothing still. Made a request to let it go, but the desert landscapes reminds me to stay the course. Fall would be longer for me.  His life went elsewhere and from I’ve heard his transformation had some difficulties.

Visionquest
I can relate. Needed to be away. Had to find my place in the circle. Needed to cocoon. Needed to be away from what I was so I can be who I am. During the transformation, it was not that  pretty butterfly moment. It was ugly. Not my best moments. Don’t much blame him for not wanting to be friends anymore. You see the stuff in the middle, well, it was not something I have been very proud of.

In life, some things you wish that it were different. For me, these are one of those things. Yet, life showed me that I can’t be who I am if it weren’t for the things that I’ve done. Simply, all the Bad and Good is me. Still, these lessons are hard learned and even harder to accept. It teaches that we want and need does not come cheap. The price paid for these precious gifts teaches us the values of little things and reminds us that we are all so very rich. So if and when these possibilities come again, you are not so apt act carelessly. It reminds us to spend freely Love. For the return is much exponentially much greater. So spend the love, get love, and be richer.

Meanings, Moments, Mine
What is great about this season is we can take a moment. We can remember and plan of better times. We can think back when the biggest worries in life were if you would remember the lesson from school last year. We remember shining moments with your family and “bestest buddy” forever and realize how precious these are.  

Sunset
As the nights take up more of the twenty-four, one can dream more of better times that once were and about more fantastic days to come. Winter will come soon and things will end.  There’s no stopping that. One would not want to. A truth hard learned. However, the one lesson that my nieces will discover is that even though the summer ends more quickly, they will soon realize that the winter is not so cold and the Spring will here again.

So Brian if you read this, I’d like to know how the years have treated you and what life lessons you learned. Like my niece, I miss time with family, too. Can’t expect to have the memorable  summers swimming and at Winfield’s playing pinball. That is okay. Memories of our friendship has fueled this hibernation. Winter has been so long between us. Spring is more fun with an old friend.

So here I must go use this short sunny day, Summer still lives and Fall I am not quite ready for your visit. Yet.  Got to build on the banks of good memories. Need the stuff of pleasant dreams and possibilities of better springs. Need to ride those roller coasters of life. I need the stuff to keep my winters warm.