Twenty Seven

Sauteed mushrooms with Serrano peppers, Yummy. Getting away from meat and chicken for awhile. Close to year now. Soon I will replacing eggplant with beef. Been transitioning to mushrooms. Texture is different than a beef, but its been so long since I had a steak. Its a shadow. Been choosing salmon steaks for awhile. So what?

It started with no meat for Lent. It was tough at first. No hamburger from the Original Tommys. No Korean BBQ. No marinated Tri Tip. All these options closed by a simple decision to go without.

In turn, it expanded. My self-imposed food restriction. No chicken. Then no turkey and no duck. I cried foul to fowl. Going to restaurant was an exercise in changing one one's personal software. Taste buds conditioned for so long. They were wanting to be satiated. Had fish instead. Like the sun casting over the horizon, but not entirely illuminating. It was creeping. In time, it became easier and easier. Now I can see myself being vegan for week. Taking preparations to choosing this lifestyle.

A year ago I was an irregular gym attendee. Go three to four days in a week. Two hour stints. Lifting, stretching and spinning. Than no show for three weeks.

Than the New Year's Resolution was made. Go everyday. A struggle at times. It was more often than naught this last year that all I could do was check in and leave. It was like leaving a journal page unwritten. After a time it became a no decision. It stopped . Instead of  If I Would go, to When will I go. This decision took some will. It was no longer logic that made me go.

There were a million reasons not to go. No energy. No time. Catch a movie. TV show would be missing. Body is sore. I am hungry. I feel sick.

Still the big reason that I went was because I am on a streak. That step back could become me deviating from the resolution. It was commitment I made to myself. It would be easy thing to lie to others and say that I went. It would be a shadow of the Truth. It would be a task look at myself in the mirror. My soul would say I know better.  Mark 8:36, Matthew 16:26, Luke 9:25.

Now I don't remember the last time I didn't go to the gym. Having an account of each and every time that I went last year was decision. The habits can be deprogrammed and re-programmed. Reprogramming the behavior and the mind will follow. FAB in reverse. Fundamental Attribution Bias. No longer WE Won, THEY Lost. WE WON WE LOST. This tree of understanding it helps in understanding. It may cause shadows that block the light and darken the pages of days. Still we are not given challenges that we can not handle. Its the way. This is how we Flow.

It is no longer what others would think it is what I would think and know. It stopped being lapses in judgment. These pauses helped gather strength. These darkest of hours, it strengthens character. It helps the writing of our story. It fills the journal of our live

This challenge of change weathers. It makes strong our resolve. The hesitancy in voice and behavior gets washed away. The light heats the crucible of our character. It allows our soul to shine Burns away the no longer necessary and forces doors to be open. It allows to Truth out.

Once, it started as a quivering. shaking off the detritus It becomes No Doubts Looking in the mirror, one no longer wavers. The whisper becomes the Bass Voice of Conviction. That Avoidant Gaze becomes an Unwavering Stare. Its accepting one's faults. It is learning the shadows helped hide the truth. It is allowing one to be illuminated by the Truth. It is no longer letting the past hold back one's future. The Truth fires away the chains.

If the mind can conceive, the heart will believe, the body will achieve.

Conceive, believe, achieve.

Sounds corny, but it works.

Sure there were darknesses and doubts when taking this course of action; however, in time, sands of doubt just blew away.The reflected light shines in the darkest hour. Sun rises and the reflected moon is a beautiful sight in the early mornings. May discover under the light that there other heavenly bodies that shine. No matter what size.

This Tree of Knowledge, It came with a price. Not sure where Big Smile has intended me to go, but I believe what lies ahead is for the best.

People may wonder the course. Some call it lunacy. These tall tale tellers making ludicrous stories Like storied bards explaining the moon's  mysteries. To this I say, "It is Between Me and God. All others will have to let live. My mini mantra grew wings "No Explanation"  means deal with it. There will be Reckoning and one must be held accountable. One must be reviewed. This is how we learn. This how we change our software.

Under the sun, many things are beautiful.