Present..

Long time. Find myself enamored by another beautiful lady that I have found in the friend zone. Actually two true bevies that I find attraction toward. Is bevie a word? Nonetheless I find that I'm in the friend zone and it's a place I find myself because I'm not ready to commit. Will I ever be and why would one want to form a bond with one that is unresolute. Having fun and playing is nice but kids stuff. Difference between a boy and a man.

Been said I'm a free spirit. Not wanting strong ties not weighed down with drama and earthly things. Which in many ways are true. Examining the illusion of many troubled marriages I find it a minefield wrought with heartache. No return to a single life. Broken trust, wanton desires, and release from maid duties.

How does one balance this commitment and freedom? Found myself break all connection with one I felt betrayed. Promised I would remain friends until told otherwise. Although not with words, a lie of omission has me angered and betrayed. Being one untold of coming nuptials, I found myself hurt and betrayed. So much so, two friends at separate times noticed the anguish on my face. Broke all ties and I find myself starting anew.

This will all fail I fear. Not until I get right with M.

Nonetheless I find myself feeling the green.

Reading texts that aren't mine.  unreplied messages and missed calls. Makes one feel insecure. Still recognizing this one's frailities  makes it easier to conquer.