Memorial Day: I Hear You, Dad

Just finished DVD. Taking Chance. Its movie about a fallen Marine named Chance. It was a story about a Marine military analyst, played by Kevin Bacon, that volunteered to take back Chance home to his parents. It was a story about how ordinary people not knowing this fallen soldier would display acts of kindness and respect. A airline attendant bumping the escort to first class, a flight attendant giving a crucifix to the escort, the flight line standing in respect, and so on.

Memorial Day is a week away. Can’t help think of my own father. He was a Marine. He passed away too. He’s in the Philippines now. I have never seen his funeral. It has been tucked away for some time. Still haven’t watched it. Not really ready too. It has been several years and I still haven’t. My brother has a giant cross tattoo on his arm. For some time, I never knew it was my Father. 

Did not leave on good terms with my Dad and it has always bothered me. He was a smart, intelligent man. A Closer, too. A Dreamer. Passionate. Driven. Strong. Courageous. Hard-Headed, too. I get that from him. I had some issues with him that I am not ready to share. I think of him often. I pushed out of my head for awhile. Some things I needed to do. I have Forgiven him for stuff that happened, but I haven’t given him the respect I believe need to do. As a young man, I didn't see things the way he did. He was my Dad. He loved my Brother and he said somethings that were very inciteful. Looking back I wished that I listened more. He brought me places. He taught me things. 

Was angry with him for some time. I was angry at myself for not being there for him. Blamed him for stuff. Some stuff was warranted. Others not. He loved me. I know this now. I have always known. He was no saint. He had his faults. Like all of do. Myself included. 

I sense his presence now and then. He's watching over me. Thank you for giving me the freedom to me. I remember the things you have written. They still mean the world. I am proud of you, too.

Think of my half-brother Mike. Did know know until I was eleven years old. He had another son. Made some attempts to find out where he is buried. Its fallen on deaf ears. Going to push the issue soon. Just will have to do this alone.  I think it is something that needs to be done. Its not me, but I think its my Dad’s spirit that has been nudging for awhile. I get this feeling that I need to do this for my Father, our Father.

Don't know why I chose to pick up this DVD, but I did. Don't know why I decided to watch it, but I did. I believe now I know why I did these things. Thanks, Dad, I am listening.

Next Monday is Memorial Day and I believe that I need to pay a visit. Need to say, Hello to Marv and Mike. Need to say Hi to Tatay. 

Tatay watches Rochelle. Marv is with Mary at Riverside National. My father’s son is in Arvin somewhere. My father is in the PI. Never said goodbye. I am sorry for that. 

Well, to those that have stepped up in the military. Thank You. Thank you Russell, Michael Crescitelli, Ricky Christiansen, Uncle Robert Barr, Tammy’s ex, Brandon, Terri Jones. Thank you for everything.

Marv and Tatay I will visit you soon.

Dad, I love you. You are missed. I still pray for you. I will bring you with me to see Mike.