Let You Be You

“I want to speak. . .This is more important than re-election. . .I want to speak now. . .Take them off the leashes. . .Let You Be You. . .I serve at the pleasure of the President. . .We  are going to lose some of these battle. We are going to raise the bar. . .Let that be our legacy.”—West Wing (Let Bartlett Be Bartlett)

Things Amiss
Been waking up late. Not the way I like it. Barely missing the sunrise. Been late on the sunsets, too. Not knowing where any of this coming from. My promises have not changed, but I've been slipping. Maybe its because I am going to church more. Maybe its because the sunrises and sunsets are happening sooner and later. Maybe its because sleeping later. Whatever, it is. Need to re-adjust and step right. 

Events Ahead. . .
Jill’s last performance as lead in Our Town is Saturday. Manny’s fight is the same time. Plus, I have to give a ride at the same time. I really want to do all three, but I am left with a quandary. Three days to do something about it. Not sure what I can do. Nothing looks it will change, except time to event gets shorter and shorter. Couple of birthdays are coming up and I haven’t heard from D yet about lunch today. Beds a mess with all this junk that I need and want to clean. Put it all here knowing that I'd deal with it or sleep in messy circumstances.

Feeling Low, Needs Some Juice
Gym time last night forced me to leave early. Feeling the sweats coming on and a bit light headed. Blood sugar turned out to be in the low 50’s. Not good. I left early to get something to eat. I left my money and meal replacement in the car. Going out and getting back meant losing my bike and leaving 20 minutes left for the workout. I’m off pace for 300 miles. It would take some effort to pull it off at the stage I’m at.

Morning mass starts in an hour and I am not sure if I will go. It would be a good, too. I am on a road. So many possibilities. So many obligations. So what? Actually, its all stuff. Nothing. All of its important. All of it has purpose and meaning. All of it will effect who I am big and small, long and short. It all matters.

Good Intentions. Good Results
Sleep early. Attend church more. Enjoy performances with family. Exercise. Blog. All these things matters. All things. You reading the post matter. You not reading this post matters. You spending time with loved ones matter. You spending time later on with loved one matters. Watching the fight. Watching the my cousin’s last performance. Making time to visit my new-found family on there only weekend down matters. Working out 5 days a week. Working out 7 days a week matters.

This weekend is a juxtaposition. Dad’s family side meeting Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Mom’s family side meeting is Saturday. Kev’s and his in-laws are down the street watching the Pacquiao fight the same night. I'm sure there is many more important events and it is a critical time. Yet, I have no fear nor worries. Putting Faith in the process, I integrated this belief in my core. “Trust In the Universe, She’ll Take Care of You.”

Paradigm Shifts
All of us have stuff to do. All of us have a finite time to do them in. Sure, a little finagling must be done here and there. Yet, at times like these one wishes that we can be at multiple places at once. I am reminded that scientist took pictures of an atom in several different places at the same time.  Can we do that? Be many places at once. Being two—three, four, five--things at the same time. We are universe in itself. We are a multi-verse. Radical thinking. Yet a skill that would be much appreciated.

Observation plays a decisive role in the event and . . . the reality varies, depending upon

whether we observe it or not. —Werner Heisenberg

This quote comes from a DVD that stirred many questions and answered many of them, too. What the Bleep Do We Know? I have only watched and pay attention to portions of it, but I suspect it will be one of my favorites. 

Huh? Where Did This Leap Come From?

Where’s the connection? From daily life events to quantum theory, it’s there. It’s the duality. Light as a particle; Light as a wave. It’s the acts of synchronicities discussed by Carl Jung. It’s the act of observing the particle with scientific objectivity to later learn the very act of observing skews the objectivity. It’s the power of intentions by Emoto’s water crystal. It’s all these metaphysical occasions and scientific discoveries that lends itself to big and small of things. Miyamato Musashi said learning just that. The Big and small of it all

Life is more than the randomness of personal events. Like balls on a billiard table, cause and effect. Yet there is purpose-ness amongst this chaos. There is a logic to it. The Universe speaks to us all. As we ask questions about the meaning of it all, we discover--we get answers.

Not since very recently did I become Faith-follower, I won’t say which aspect because I am still on this visionquest. I am learning that I am a very spiritual and intuitive person. My word for myself in my new found group is “Faith.”

I am learning the power of prayer. I am learning “Ask and You Shall Receive” maxim is very true. Recent scientific discoveries are finding this to be truer. My own experiences have borne this out. Maybe not in the time-line we like. I still have doubts. I think this a good thing tact to take. Fact is this may be just a bunch of hoo-haa brouhaha haha haha. (Sorry, I got the hahas) Maybe I am being sold a proverbial bill of goods. Maybe I am having medication induced fog. 

However, maybe its right.

I fall back to this saying, “Some things are true whether you believe or not.” Never had a problem with science and religion. Always thought both were just searching for the truth. Learned awhile back people argue all the time. People often don't listen. Just want to hear themselves talk. Just want you to buy into their dream, their own reality. Despite all the babbling and bluster, one discovers they are saying and searching for the same thing: Meaning.

Hope that you, too, with all the activities oh-so important activities in your life, you will learn that it all counts. And most importantly, it all matters. Nothing is not-nothing. There is never nothing going-on. The Universe will provide. Meaning is everywhere. Just got to decide to do—or not do. You got to decided to accept or reject. Messages are being sent. Just got to listen to your own personal message. You go to Decide what that Special Meaning is. 

I will leave at that. 

Namaste

Sun Rings and Beach Sand--An Exercise In Listening

Sun Ring, Moon Ring. . .

Books My Friends
Read in an old Britannica book. Not the big thick brown tomes with the letters etched on the side. These were the thin, uniform-shaped white ones. These books were categorized in various topics, literature, world events, countries, etc. My favorites were the mythology and science. Best gifts ever. I was able to learn about anything and everything in these. These is where I found solace. This where my love for books took seed.


Self-Inflicted Sleep Problems
This will be a short post. I am low on gas. Low on time. I have got to get going. Last couple of days, I have been having trouble sleeping. Self-imposed, self-inflicted shots away from routine. A routine that I know makes me feel better. Slept on the couch, to George Lopez Comedy Special. No CPAP giving me my much needed breath of life. No comfortable king-sized bed to spread out. No comfort of the dark room. Two nights ago I was in the living room cuddled up, listening to the rants and laughter until Nox took over.

Last night, it was troubling. Thought about my life and how in a three or four decades, it will be over. Boy, could not go to sleep. Been thinking about things done and wondered is there enough time. Been surfing the net for exercise techniques to improve my writing. A few stood out. Alternate history, yearbook, and dollar. Alternate history one imagines a road not traveled, a "What If? comic book. What if you took different road, a different attitude during a significant time in your life. Yearbook, flip through the pages and write a story about the people inside. Who lived? Who died? What are they doing? Dollar, chronicle the exchanges of the dollar bill. Where does it go? What has happened?

Thought about these exercises, and it troubled me. Don't know whether my blood sugar got low and I was suffering from a hypoglycemic depression. Don't know whether the mid-life just hit. Will the next stage of my life be filled with purpose, hope, and renewed vigor. Or will it be. . .

In the coming months, in my journey toward Salvation. . .to the Big Smile. . .to whereever the Fates takes me, I will just Flow. Today's events will be to Tujunga to Uncle Juhn's birthday celebration. Need to get direction. Need to clean up. Need gas.


I Got This For You But I Didn't Know It At the Time
Back to the Sun ring. If you look up in the sky, you will notice around the sun. A ring of light. Sometimes its visible, sometimes its too bright The moon has one, too. Moon is easier to see Read about this phenomenon in my white Britannica. In my hurry out the door, I looked up saw the sun ring. Can't look at it directly, you'll go blind. No, I don't know. What significance does this have to what I write. Don't know how I will tie it end. But, I will.

I have been doing that lately. I do some things out of the ordinary, with this feeling that it has some later purpose.

Few weeks back I picked up some moleskin journals. Didn't know why at the time? I just knew I needed to get them. Thing is I just bought three myself earlier in the week and I thought it was an extravagance I did not need. Feeling kicked and I got them anyways. Later, spoke to my good friend Shazam. There was trouble and I sent them to her children. When speaking to them I knew it was for them

Last weekend, went with Jason, my cousin, to the beach. Had the same feeling. I emptied an aquafina. Went to the beach to and put beach sand and ocean water in the empty bottle. Very Saving Private Ryan-ish. Gathering dirt and putting it in a can. Last night, Kaprece and Kaelyn brought home some tiny hermit crabs in a water bottle. There was some sand, but nowhere the amount needed to keep them alive for the night. I said, "They have more beach sand and ocean water in my car. Go, get it. I have some in the car." They asked,"Why do you have beach sand in your car?" I replied, "Got it for you, but I didn't know you needed it at the time." Sun ring, same thing.

Its a Book of Five Ring's thing. Its the Ah-ha skill, I have been working on. Intuition. Listening to that voice, the nudge, the Angel (maybe). I'm more conscious to these nudges, these whisper, these "Ah-has"

Well, I need to run. I apologize for any typos, missed words, and run-ons. Please forgive. They say quantity over quality. That is what it is today.

Be well.