Choice: Get Up Or Stay Down

Fresno-bound. Five in the morning and we should be at the hospital around noon or earlier. Sitting in the back seat, not driving. Yeah!!! Couldn’t find my phone charger. Nor could I find my extra batteries for my camera. Guess, I will charge with the laptop when the moment comes. Rather have the backup, Cest la vie. We’ll see. Either way, not so bad. 

Headed to a hospital. Learned that a distant cousin stroked. Tough. Learned she is loaded; however, not being able to enjoy is not so fun. We are given gifts and challenges that we all must face. 

Learned that the word, Agon means the ability to endure pain. Hence the word agony. Found this out from a DVD about the First Olympics. Haven’t seen the movie in its entirety. I however learned something.

They had this discussion about boxing, wrestling, and cromantics (I think). Cromantics is much like UFC. Except all these people are naked. Actually, they were all men. No slaves. No women. Just naked men competing. Fun? Well, naked women are more my taste. However, it is what it is.

This will be the second time in two weeks that I will be visiting someone in the hospital. Not sure that I am up to this. Don’t like to see someone in Agon. It hurts in the soul. From what I understand, she does not have use of her legs and her speech is slurred. The lady I saw last week at Kaiser had a valve replacement. She is laid up and she said spiraling down several times which troubled me.

Ancient Greeks admired athlete's ability to endure pain and deliver pain. To survive. To struggle. Not much has changed since then. Whenever, I watch UFC or Manny Pacquiao, I enjoy the culmination of years of hard work and training in the visual spectacle of a person’s everything. Putting the body, mind, and soul in this never ending battle. A battle to reach some supreme level.If they win or not, it is the struggle that find entertaining.

This something seems universal. Admiration to go above and beyond. Look at Lance Armstrong, conqueror of cancer and seven time Tour de France winner. Look at Michael Jordan, two-time three peater, after death of father and less than spectacular baseball stint. Look at Manny Pacuiao coming up from the dark days of bar room fights to fighting in the Dallas Cowboy Stadium.

Why is this? Why do we enjoy these struggles? I think it is ability to get back up after being knocked down. It is enduring, to move on when. Guess, the reason I am having the hard time going to the hospital is the dark side of the movie. It is the down and out. It is the hurtful angry time when things do not seem fair. Admittedly, I was feeling down and depressed of late, “living in turmoil and distraught” Maybe it is chemical, but I’ve been feeling sad.

Thing is horoscope said that all this reflection and self-analysis is nice, but like looking at two mirrors facing each others. Staring at reflection after reflection after reflection. A decision must be made to act. A decision to get better. Get stronger. To get back in the ring. So the hospital to me is the time before the decision is made. A time stuck in the reflection. A moment of pause.

For some time, my brother said something that seemed very profound. He does not want  work in physical therapy, because there are people there that do not want to be there and heal. They rather lay down and remain in pain. Being angry at life events. Staying at the place staring in the mirror, indecisive. This was a large reason why I chose to work at the gym I wanted to be in a place where people wanted to heal themselves and get stronger. Perhaps this is why he is a coach. Be in a place where they accept competition and struggle. Where delivering and enduring pain is common and expected.

Perhaps this is why the reason, so many are choosing careers in health care. To see struggle and survival at its most basic level. To see one face reality for the first time, after years of lying to themselves and self-destruction, it is time where one decides to get back again. I should qualify that. With people eating themselves to obesity, overdosing on narcotics, and other lifestyle related illness. We see people take their first steps to becoming who they need to be.

Given there are relapses, but the road to recovery, the road to discovery is always the right one. Road to getting better is something that energizes. It is something that makes us want to get up and dance. So going to the hospital is just a minor awkward moment before one decides to get back up or to stay down. Thing is that it feels like forever. So when one stops looking at the countless reflections of the mirror, chasing the endless tail, one can take a moment and decide. Get up or stay down. 

Hopefully, I will see that today when I go to the hospital. I’d like to see another hero today

Unclog

Poseidon Adventure

Early Thursday morning. Day is about to start. Traffic rushes on by and the sun begins its climb overhead. Life is different compared to last week. It’s more stationary. Nondescript. Time for contraction. Time for introspection. Cocooning. 

Where Were You Last Week?

Last week me found me sitting in a lawn chair in some unknown river in Del Sur. It found my cousin and I at Mel’s Diner in San Francisco debating whether to $5 in quarters on table top jukebox. Debating whether to play the same song 20 times in a row.(It was a tough decision) It found us in the Gonzalez local cemetery asking for direction to Big Sur.

Today's Observation

Today, sitting on BJ’s corner. Watching traffic rush by as several hundred flying bugs dance around my car. Mini wasps I think. Thursday it is. Weekend soon approaching. However, how is this day any different than other? Expectations and hopes can manifest at a moments notice. Friends and family members are Facebook post and email away. Don’t forget that phone call, too. Everyday is a choice.

Postcards: A Short, "I Am Thinking of You"

Just received a postcard from an old friend. It was nice. She visited a place that I was at couple weeks ago. I got her psychic vibes to show up. Got there a week early. Funny, she was down So Cal while I was in Nor Cal. 

This postcard says to me an effort was made to let me know, "Hey, I am in your thoughts." Not the immediacy of an email or Facebook post. Effort was made. She put a stamp on it and mailed it. It's nice to get besides bills and junk mail. Think I rather get a postcard than email.

Here at BJ's corner, a Metrolink flies by, horn whaling. Six cars longs. Taking their passengers to some unknown location. Exciting.

What a Difference a Day Makes

Eight-four degrees yesterday. Prime swimming pool weather. Not too hot, not too cold. Just about right. USA Soccer won in the running time. It’s a unknown overtime for tied soccer games. Great win. "Never give up, never give up, never give up"--Winston Churchhill

Last Thursday, Rushing the Hearst Castle Tour, driving to Solvang for chocolates, and heading to Valencia to watch a Game 7  Laker game.

How's Your Progress?

How has your life changed from week to week? Day to day? How has the events of yesteryear changed? Good, bad, indifferent? Are you happy where you are at? Are you happy at the progress made? Is the place you’re in the place you wanted to be from a year ago. A year back, I was coming to grips with mortality. Struggling with weight gain due to diabetes and chf meds. Found myself running and swimming a lot. Trying to make headway on health stuff.

Looking for Inspiration, Finding Trouble Instead

Now things are returning. Not sure though if this where I want and need to be. More spiritual now and had seriously considered a priestly vocation. However, I read another article in the paper of another lawsuit against the Catholic Church. It is troubling to learn that one given the spiritual leadership responsibility again betrayed one’s trust. 

Also heard on the radio of the governor wanting to pay minimum wages to workers. Heard on the radio that a city will letting go of all its government employees. We hear of the Mayor of LA is getting in investigated on because he attended basketball games and other functions gratis. Aren't there other things to worry about?

Good is Out There

Its troubling and disheartening that this is what dominates the airways. The general sense of ennui. Learned of the God particle (it was trending on Yahoo). Also learned that Sun cycle or dormancy is unusually quiet. Does the world need a reset? I mean with all the eeeehhh in the world it seems we are going through these times of unrest.

Albert Einstein said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. 

Yet, I find solace and Hope that people survived troubling times. People flourished.  Before there was the European Rennaisance, there was the Dark Ages. Watching a segment of the History Channel to discover that the Vikings, the Jews, the Chinese, and the Polynesian may have discovered America long before Columbus. I find Hope traveling to the Getty Center to look at Da Vinci’s statues and the Old World Bibles. I find Hope that crash from Area 51 may have spurned on the production of Fiberglass and Stealth technology. (Big things in Palmdale) 

Whether these things are true or not. Whether you believe aliens landed on the earth, whether you believe sailors from Far East made all the way to California in a canoe. True or not it is idea that great things are done by ordinary people every single days. Albert Einstein also said, "When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking."

What's Wrong, Then?

Guess, the maxim “if it bleeds, it leads.” Has been bothering more than I care to admit. Talking heads tearing people down for whatever reason, not doing this, doing this, not considering this, failing to recognize that. When the climate to destruction goes counter to people’s spirit of construction, it this discontinuity brings a schism. A fault line in a soul.

Flower Power, Soul Power--Okay, Master Yoda

When a chakras are blocked, there is no Flow, no Force, no energy going through. No growth. Perhaps a roto-rooter needs to unclog this ennui. Guess, it starts me. Let everyone else follow. A higher purpose, a higher plan, a higher calling is needed and I am sure is in effect. Perhaps, it is everyone’s calling to overcome these perceived challenges. Some people wilt to pressure. Some people are hardened and forged by pressure.

Hendriatus

Whatever it is, perhaps, this is what needs to be reminded of. Leave nothing for the swim back. Leave your wrestling shoes on the mat. Leave a standard higher than one’s before us so as the future can do the same for us. In the circle of life, in the Olympic hendriatus --Citius, Altius, Fortius—perhaps this what we needed to be reminded of. History is a force.

Right now, it's time to Be Expansive. Anabolize, instead of catabolize. (at least for a little while) Create. Build. What is a man (or woman) that does not make the world a better place? (Don't you love movie quotes)

Okay my rant is over. I feel better. Guess, I need to unclog. Chakra opening. Let the good times flow.

Guess, I forgot What do we really have control of? 

Our smiles and cries.

Quiet Day at Home: Time for Reflection

Canada won. Great game. Great effort USA. Never say die attitude. Love it. Closing ceremony now in a few hours. Looks like the Lakers will win this game. 13 seconds left and they are ahead by 6 points. Carmello fouled out and Kobe s on the free throw line. Whew. Tough game throughout. Both games.

Got word from an old friend. He accepted my Facebook friend request. It was a much welcome surprise. Thought I was ignored. It is good to know he’s alive. Hopefully, he's well. That’s all I will say about that. Important games. Important friends. Important times. 

Jumped in the pool again. Brisk. Freezing. Yeah, all that. So what now? Well, it has been a great time. Went to church early this morning. Sun was shining on me during the service. It felt nice. It felt right.

March is in 8 hours and 48 minutes. Going to do my month in review. Read part of my March Astrologyzone review. Just showed the goalie for the USA. Not happy, but he should be proud. All of the USA Hockey should be proud for the gallant effort. Tying the game with 24 seconds left. So close, yet, no shame.  The rain falls on the just and unjust. It was 3 to 2 Canada for Olympic gold.

Where do we go from here? Laundry needs to be finished. Dishes need to be washed. Taxes need to be done. Diet Log needs to be updated. Exercise logs, too. Books needs to be read. Time line needs to be completed.

Its been two months since the new year started.  Prece has been solid with her beam. Lynn's working on her Chumash project. Master Yoda shares his food with me. He like Brown Sugar and Maple oatmeal. He loves Star Wars. Makes me laugh. Chris went to visit Tatay. Thought about that in church. Just sitting at home relaxing. Just a day. A great day.

Where’s the journey? Where’s the lesson learned? Where’s moral of the story? Can’t say there is much in this post. It’s just a wonderful day. House is quiet, except for the kids outside playing. That is a welcome sound. Just the sound of laughter and smiles. Just the sound of birds chirping and happiness all around. Just the beautiful sun-shining day just breathes happiness.

Guess, too often we hear the troubles and angst of the daily going-ons.  Another quake hit Chile. 8.8—That was a big one. It was larger than the 1994 Northridge quake. That one brought down the 5 freeway overpass. Tsunami hit China. Warnings were for Japan, Philippines, Hawaii, California. Haiti Quake was in January. I heard there was an earthquake in Japan, too. 

When one has a day like this, it gives one pause and time of reflections of just being happy. In any story being told, one expects struggle. One expects strife. One expects drama. Yet, when I have a day like this, a do nothing day. No worries. No stress. No nothing. I tend to just savor it because for many, a blissful day like today, seems too few and far between.

Well, its 3:27 now and the sun will be setting in 3 hours and some change. Right now I just want to soak up the sun. I hope you have a chance to do the same.

Hendiatris Citius, Altius, Fortius, which is Latin for. . .

Lots have been revealed. Lots still to learn. Finished a morning workout little ago. Now I wait in Camille's for a lunch with D. Where do we begin?  Ah, its here. Apple Tuna salad on Marble white bread with red, white and brown tortilla chips. Tropical tea to my left and here I wait. I am waiting to learn about the one that I know little about. Getting some background info. Getting parts I missed. Whew. Come last year, none of this was forecasted. Last year I was wondering if I was going to live another day. I was wondering if I would fall asleep on the road. I was wondering how many pounds I would gain with this new medication.

Time is Relevant. Where Do You Want To Start? Where Do You Want To End?

Well, it’s been a little over a year since my diagnosis. Its been one day since my 39^th birthday. Its been 17 hours since getting Palm ashes placed on my forehead. Its been 13 hours since I jumped in my freezing cold pool. Its been . . . Future is coming fast. I’m loving it.

At the gym, I caught NBCs short story on Shaun White’s second Gold Medal performance. 1020. Double McTwist.  Launching oneself to the skies. Like Dolphins at Seaworld. Double flips. Also, just read a little article. . .er, no 2 page spread in the LA Times about human athletic performance has reached its apogee. World Records have maxed out. Now its leveling off.  Kind of glad they put this up. Stirring up some stuff. Sounds like that sound barrier thing. Living here in the AV, the home of McDonell-Douglass, Boeing, Edwards Air Force Base. The place where the movie the Right stuff and Chuck Yeager called home. Its the home where people do things that can't be done. .LA Times Article On the Apogee of Human Performance

I Hear You. It's Just I Disagree. Here's My Body of Evidence

Hmmm, I think of Michael Jordan after reading the LA Times article. All these people say he can’t. Cut from High school basketball team. Olympic Gold Medal. MVP Awards. Slam Dunk Champion. Six Championships--Enough Said. Wait, he shoved it in their face. Oh, well. scientific evidence states we reached the peak of human physical performance. I’m a bit troubled by this. Not that I disagree with the tone of the article. I haven’t read the scientific data the reporter cited. Got a bit of reporter skepticism. The tone of the scientific data may not be implying “apogee” at all. Just that grain of salt thing.

Tangents Bring Distraction and Clarity

Sorry, I followed some tangents. Tangent was Facebook.  Tangent was Nike+.  Tangent was YouTube video of Oprah and Black-Eyed Peas .Black Eyed Peas and Oprah Tangent. Tangent was the Buddha page Wikepedia . Reason I left was this quote, “Rejection of the infallibility  of accepted scriptures: Teachings should not be accepted unless they are borne out by our experience and are praised by the wise. Buddha  It’s just.  My personal experience is that being told there are limits. You can't do better. Naturally, I would try to push the envelope. For me, it’s just that being told what I can’t do is just fuel for me to do just that. I understand the need for limits. It’s a safeguard for one not to get hurt. It’s a safeguard for to be conscious of our limitations.It's bullsh*t.

Limitations and Paradigms Are Calls To Arms

Yet, the idea of limitations does not sit well. This benchmark, this apogee, this statement that we reached the peak of human performance is call for those to be higher, faster, stronger. Four Minute Mile was physically impossible, too. Think of Usain Bolt and Carl Lewis. Think Michael Phelp and Mark Spitz. Think of Bob Beamon and Mike Powell. We need to give moments for records. We need time to appreciate the performance of others. We need to be Wow-ed.We need the sound barrier. We need these limitations to show that the human potential is limitless. These pauses give us time to appreciate the human accomplishments.  Geocentric model of the universe once ruled. Latin was the language of business for the world. Paradigm shifts happen all the time. Microsoft and Apple.  

Sitting on our laurels is death. The LA Times article is a call. Watch the Olympics. It’s a celebration. It’s a call to all. Who will answer?  Citius, Altius, Fortius, which is Latin for. . .