Life Is Better With. . .

(This is the second article I published in the local magazine. So if you read this before, thank you again)

“Short on time. Short on money. Short on sleep. Long on memory”—This was how to best describe the short, unplanned trip to the City by the Bay. Jason and I were due for an adventure. He was finishing a semester of Respiratory School and I just finished Pharmacy Tech school. We were both mentally fried and in much need to getaway.

Plus, I suspect Cousin Jason was feeling the same way I was. You see most of our cousins were married with families of their own. As the last two unwed cousins, we instinctively knew that we won’t have too many chances like this again. So in the middle of the night, we headed out for this trip up “North.” North was still a distant mystery in the night.

With a fistful of cash, a tank full of gas, and no reservations anywhere, we stormed off to what may be the last of the “Cousins” road trip together. Armed with a San Francisco guidebook, we had a tentative plan. Go to the places with the coolest pictures. Didn’t say it was great plan, but it was what we had.

On the way, we agreed on a few immutable rules. First, wherever we were, we would sit down and watch the NBA Championship games. Boston Celtics were beating our hometown LA Lakers 3 to 2. We weren’t going to miss the latest chapter of the basketball rivalry. As die-hard fans, the next game could be the last one. Second rule was not to think too much and just let Flow. Third rule, visit as many landmarks and tourists sites we can fit in this long weekend.

Pumped up on adrenalin, we made it to San Francisco hours earlier than planned. Having never visited the city before, we drove around and explored much of the early morning.  We drove the Golden Gate Bridge, hurried through Fisherman’s Wharf, and found where Ghirardelli’s was located. All before 6 a.m., way ahead of the early morning commuters.

Feeling car weary, we stopped by City Hall to stretch our legs and capture some photos of the city’s interesting statues. Than out of the blue, a 40 something peppered-haired man started walking toward us. Thinking we were going to be warmly greeted by a local. Coffee in hand, this once smiling middle-aged man started shouting obscenities for now obvious reason. After he gave us the angry person salute—I  think he thought we were taking his pictures without his permission—Jason and I looked at each other and got in the car. No use arguing with an obviously, unstable person with too much caffeine.

After this warm greeting, I couldn’t really remember what we did these next four days. We said sped through the days in a blur, avoiding every 40 year old man with a coffee in their hand. In three days, we were in Palmdale, San Francisco, Chinatown, Big Sur, Carmel, San Simeon, San Luis Obispo, Solvang, and Santa Clarita.

We walked the Golden Gate Bridge. Almost got run over by a cyclist, too. Got lost in the alleys of Chinatown after dark looking for authentic hand-made fortune cookies. We drove up and down Lombard Street, around  five or six times. Rode our first taxi. Ate chocolates at Ghirardelli. Had fish and chips at the Wharf. Got lost on the way to Carmel and had to get directions at cemetery by a real life grave digger. We were stuck in traffic jam in the quiet town of Carmel because of the US Open at Pebble Beach. Drove PCH and got mesmerized by the scenic coastlines. Chased a blue jay, which led us to unused lawn chairs in the middle of river at Big Sur (We used them).

Saw sea lions sunning. Watched a brown cow chase after a herd of  zebras. Touched an ostrich. Toured Hearst Castle. Videotaped people parachute surfing.  Ate my first Danish Meatloaf in Solvang. Went wine tasting. Met and took pictures with the famous UFC referee “Big John” McCarthy.  And top it off, we watched our hometown LA Lakers comeback from a 3-2 game deficit to beat the Boston Celtics to win the NBA Championship in the last few minutes of the fourth quarter.

Can’t tell you what the best part of the unplanned because it flew by so fast.  I can tell you two hings from I learned from this adventure:  First, sleep is way over-rated. Second, rechargeable batteries are a must. 

When I write about the road trip and looking back at the many, many pictures, I can’t help think of this end of the 2009 year movie “Up In the Air“ with George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, and Anna Kendrick . It was one line in the movie that hit home for me.

Actually, when I come to think about it, the best part of this road trip was not the may sights we seen. Nor was it delicious food we ate. It wasn’t the interesting people we met. Nor was it the songs we were screeching (Can’t honestly call it singing we were doing). The best part of trip was can be summed up this way.

In the movie, Up In the Air, Ryan (Clooney character) says to his soon- to-be-brother-in-law: “If you think about it, your favorite memories, the most important moments in your life... were you alone? No, Life is better with company” This statement could not be more true. Even with the angry, disturbed coffee man.

Scribbles before Fight

This will be a short post. Once my laptop reaches a 100% charge, I am Audi.

Sitting at the bridge between the two towers here at the Central Library earlier in the day.  Been wanting to come here for ages, finally did after going to Saturday mass. Needed to get some G Time. Haven’t done that for awhile. Think I will be coming more regular, may 2 or 3 times for morning mass. I think my soul can handle it. Actually, I backed off for a bit. Needed to get some space and time. Did my reading, and I gots me some understanding.

My mind wanders when sitting in church. A week back in Sunday Mass, and they had the statue of the Fatima. Mom came with me. When she saw the Fatima, she immediately got up and touched the statue’s feet.  She never did that before. The Fatima was on a visit from somewhere. I was a bit surprised. I lacked understanding.

Been researching the Fatima. Some stuff what I gathered.  This got me revved up again. Started visiting various other holy places from different religious practices. Wanted to go to the source for this Higher Power. Stopped by the LA synagogue. Went to a Buddhist temple. Spoke with an Iman. Stopped by the St Andrews Abbey. Also, visited San Fernando Mission again.

This Saturday mass, I started thinking of Manny Pacquiao Fight and Chess.  Used to play chess, a lot. The Bishop, the knight, the queen, king and so on. Why do people choose the roles they take? What possess one to do what they do? Is it evolution? Is it behavioral? Is it some unresolved stuff from a previous life? What is it?

Take for instance the Dalai Lama. He’s been reportedly  reincarnated a fourteen times. His presence has inspired many movies, Seven Years in Tibet, Kundun and so on. He’s a rock star. Supposedly, in some schools of Hinduism it says that we have 8 stages of life in Hinduism. 2 stages belong to the life before. 4 stages are your own. Last two stages are set ups for the life coming. Karmic law and Dharma and the rest.

General Patton believed in reincarnation, too. He felt he fought in the Italy before as a Roman. I mean, he was a hero to the People.  Like George Washington and Bruce Lee. Like Manny Pacquiao. What makes a person a hero?

Tonight, for example, Manny Pacquiao will be fighting Margarito tonight in Dallas, Texas. A classic hero, coming from the barrios of the Philippines, and makes good. Margarito, a fallen fighter, who is looking for redemption. Maybe, it is how 24/7 HBO depicts these characters. But all this is Joseph Conrad myth-making stuff.

Freddie Roach, Manny’s trainer, said this may well be Manny’s last fight. Win or lose. WIN, OF COURSE. But certain people have been gifted. A Midas Touch about it them. From Poverty to Power in a short lifetime. What makes a person overcome Herculean Labors? What brings them to the top of the Mountain? This is so Rocky-ish. Is it some divine intervention? Is it pure will? Is it Darwinian’s “Most Fit” at play?  Our history is filled with these rags to riches. Secreteriat, Abraham Lincoln, Jackie Robinson, and so on. Overcoming obstacles are what heroes do. What separates the good from the great? What is the Gravitas? We all know it when we see it.

Back to church, I was thinking. A pawn is supposedly the weakest piece on the board. Can be taken out by a slew of other pieces. Rook, Bishops, Knights and Queens. However, once the pawn reaches its eight rank, then it can be transformed to a stronger piece. Sure many fall the waist side. They are cannon fodder.  Eight opportunities to reach the 8^th rank, then possibilities are endless.

Think about it. Some say being King is good. It is the piece that matters. Games ends and finishes with the King. It can go any which way. Up, down, left, right, diagonal. However, it is not afforded the range of maneuverability as his Queen. Plus, everyone and their mother are coming after you.  That is the whole basis of the game, Capture the King.

Being a queen is no picnic, either. Sure, it has the power of the Rook and bishop combined. But there is only one of her, compared the others. Plus, Queen is also on many people’s wish list. Furthermore, these lowly pawns at the end of the game, all want to be like her eventually. It’s a reverse sword party. No, perhaps, it more a it’s a Lilith Fair. By game’s end. I mean why would anyone want to be king. The queen has the most power on the board.

Still, I digress. Whether you are a King,  queen, Bishop, Knight . We all have some role we play in life. We are Mother, Father, Daughter, Son, Brother Sister, and so on. Actually, we die and are reborn. We go through rites of passage where we put childlike things away to become something more. To take our place in the community again. We become many things by necessity. It is built in. Hardwired in the DNA. Conditioned by Society with an ever changing system of reward and punishment.

We pursue many things. Evolving and devolving in order grasp these trinkets and ideals from the nethersphere.  Each role brings benefits and drawbacks. Like salmon, there is a drive, an instinct, a wish to reach the top of the mountain. Going upstream, battling each other, battling predators to survive. All in order to seed the next generation with our hopes, dreams, and DNA.

Things is. This is all okay. It has purpose. May not be the things one likes. We may delude ourselves with beliefs of grandiosity. Some things are true whether we believe it or not. Still, it is what we got. All this is the life stuff. This is the fun part. We fall in love. We fall out of it. We have our hearts filled with Joy and Love. We get our Hearts broken with no foreseeable reason.  We recover, then discover, “Let’s Do It Again.” We fight. We win. We fight. We lose. We do what we do because this is the thing we call, “Life.”  We need to be inspired. This is the Hero’s role. We need to be filled with something greater. We search for this “Feel Good.” We seek to be re-energized. To transform. To be Queened. 

Okay. Time is up. Sorry, this was longer than anticipated. Got in the Flow. My laptop is charged and it is time to watch another hero battle.  In life, we are all pawns. We are also Kings and Queens, too. And everything In Between. Okay, “Let’s Get ready to RRRUUUMMMMBBBLLLEEE!!! “ Go Manny Pacquiao.

Buddha: "Yeah, it says. . ." (2 of 2)

Buddha Friday 1 of 2 Link

Where Did He Go?
Back to the Jump story. You know how time slows at moments. This was one of those times. Saw Buddha’s hands in the dark pool of mountain river water. Didn’t know how deep the water was. Only thing I could remember is that Jason didn’t know how to swim. His arms were flailing away. Why in the fuck did he jump? This gung ho personality change was going to get him killed. Not knowing how deep the pool and looking at the Rod and Brian it was clear this could get ugly real fast.

Lifeguard Lesson
Looking back. I was lucky my girlfriend Shelle at the time had a lifeguard sister, Kristy. She explained, “At times, the best way to save someone is to push them away. Because if a panicked man grabbed you, he could drown the both of you. Don’t know why this nugget of information would come to mind. But it did. Funny, it came to me when I was flying in the air. 

It's Deep
Next thing I remember was my how dark it was in the drink. Don’t remember touching the bottom so I know it was deeper than 10 feet.

Could feel his feet at my head and the only thought was push him away. “Keeping pushing. Don’t let him grab you. Keep pushing until you get some footing.” This was all I was thinking. Life gets real simple at times.

Floaties
Remember the scene in the Titanic. Right after the ship hit the iceberg. All those people climbing over each other in the freezing water, using the other passengers as floaties. This was the imagery coming to mind as I pushed. There are moments when time slows. Like that first kiss, that first car accident, that time when she said, “Yes.” This was one of those times.

More Relieved
Felt the rocks at my feet and wash of relief came over. He can stand up now. We got to the shore and his face was calm. Like it was no big deal. Took my cue from this. Thought about blasting him on how stupid this was. His risk taking behavior could have gotten us both killed. Then I remember, we dared each other.

Thankful
Never did lecture him. It’s like grabbing the child who was playing in traffic. You are more relieved that he is alive than mad for him not using his Grey matter. Adrenalin does that to people. I remember rolling my eyes, hunching my shoulders and just smiling. Looking up at Rod and Brian for what seemed forever. Buddha said, “Jump.” Shook my head. They were smart and decided to go the long way.
 

I was thankful for being there. Buddha’s jump was admirable. Not smart, too. Still, there was a lesson in this. Sometimes we need to do that. Jump. If we never jumped, if we never threw caution to the wind, if we never got in the scuffle, we would not exorcise these inner gremlins. We would never grow.

Disclaimer
Before going further, it must be said. Don't jump down a waterfall if you can’t swim. Don't throw down in a basketball fight, either. What I’m saying is that it is a choice. It's an adventure. Sometimes the choices we make will make us sick. We must give up who we are in order to become who we need to be.





Text Messages

Rod took the long way

Found that picture of that waterfall he jumped into some many years ago. Sent it to him yesterday. He put it on the background for his laptop. Buddha text-ed me, “Thank you. . .hopefully, it tells me something.” I smiled and responded back, “Yeah it says, Take swimming lessons.”  

Truth is, I love him. He reminded me that there are worse thing than dying. The picture reminds me that sometimes we need to take that leap of faith. Literally.

At times, we are guardian angels. At other times, we need guardian angels. It is our duty to pay it forward. It can come in the form life-guarding 101 lecture. It can be a jump in the drink. It can be de-escalating a fisticuffs. Remember you are the Big Smile’s gift to yourself. . .And others. It is your choice what you do with these presents. 

Chris Tucker, Friday YouTube

Buddha, Fridays (1 of 2)

He jumped. 

We were just kidding. But there he went.  Could see it was a pretty long way down. That jump, left quite a big splash. We were smack talking, goading each other to strap on a pair. One second, he was there. Next, he wasn’t. Just like that. Brian, Rod, and I looked at each other in disbelief. He actually jumped. We looked down again. All we could see is his arms was flailing away.

Butterfly Buddha 
This was becoming more common. Buddha (Not his real name) was taking leaps in his personality at the time. Guess, he had enough.  We were all unaccustomed to this change in behavior. You see Buddha was becoming at this time. He was going through a change.

We balled often. It was a warm summer and we were playing at the school, earlier in the week. Buddha opened a can of whoop ass. Can’t say that it was surprising. Shocking, definitely. He has always been an intense person. Not as intense as my brother Kevin, but close. Seeing warrior mode in relatives is something I got used to. Kevin played with all heart and smarts. Kevin was the intimidator. Watching football, push back is common. Never saw push back come to blows on the blacktop before. This day was different.

Scorpios, Buddha and Allana
It appeared all the berating and unkind words was reaching whistle time. It’s been percolating for years. He is born at the time of Scorpio. It has been said, those born under this sign are very intense and have ability remake themselves. Allana (Not real name) was like this. Both are good-hearted people that went through some trying times. She had something taken from her. From the moment I met, her personality was recapturing what was stolen. Allana was the person I was thinking when Buddha finally decided he had enough.

Time to Be A Giver
Buddha was looking to re-take something that was his. Throughout his younger days, he took a lot of grief. Looking back, his receiving days were over. It was time for him to be a giver. Those growing up with him were amazed at this time of reclamation. All I could think of was watching an angry sleeping elephant wake up.

Rumble in the Jungle
On this day, we found ourselves playing with these loud, boisterous self-proclaimed ballers. Think boxer, Floyd Mayweather. They were good and seemed to enjoy smack talking. This team jelled and they were winning by intimidation. It was our turn.  This game was heightening in intensity.

The player that Buddha was covering was tall and had attitude, the enforcer. Getting in people’s faces trying to get them out of their game was his modus operandi. There was lots of jawing. After a layup, the player, let’s call him Mouth, bumped chest with my cousin, saying, “You can’t cover me.”

Mount Vesuvius
He let this one go. It was common for him. However, one could see he was seething. He played harder and made a couple of plays that made the Mouth look bad.  The Mouth was getting chewed out by his teammates for his play. Play got rougher as the score was tighter. Head games were returned. Poor play was now destroying the Mouth’s confidence. He gave a hard foul to Buddha expecting no response. Buddha was taking it. Closed lip, focused on just winning the game. This was his style.

All of sudden. Buddha was throwing hands. Never saw it before. I was agog. Buddha was in actual fist fight. It was both slow and a blur simultaneously. We were all taken back by Buddha’s berserker rage. It was. . .I don’t know. Jaw-dropping?

Chris Tucker, Fridays
In a sense, it was relieving. In another sense it was disturbing to watch. Won’t describe the graphic savagery. It makes me uneasy. Wish the visuals weren’t in the cortex. Someone with such a good heart and calm demeanor exploding like that. Imagine Ghandi transforming into an angry demon pit bull/ hellhound mix. Think Animal Channel on Steroids. (Chris Tucker, Friday YouTube on the next post)

If you are boxing fan, remember the match between British fighter Hatton and Filipino Champion Manny Pacquiao. Buddha threw a picture perfect shot. When I saw the Mouth's jaw explode one way, while the rest of his body face stayed stationery. It was a car accident to the Mouth's face.Whew. Got to close my eyes on that one.

I am disturbed and uneasily proud. All I could do is shudder and  shake my head.  Not pretty.

All the cousins were stunned. Buddha. . .we never thought it wasn’t in his nature.We were wrong.

Lucky, we had the group wherewithal to not let things escalate too much with the Mouth’s friends and teammates. Brian threw down someone. Mike, did the same. I held my guy down and said, Let it go. Rod, I think, pulled Buddha off the Mouth. Honestly, this part was a blur. We left. I do remember the Mouth wasn’t saying anything anymore. He couldn’t.

From that moment, things for Buddha changed. (Continued Buddha, 2 of 2)