More to the Story

Steve Nash—Divorces after Birth of Third Child.

This is Effed Up. He’s my favorite basketball player. What is up? I clicked to read more.Steve Nash Divorces After Birth of Child, An Off Putting Title Learned they have been separated for a few months and the process of marriage dissolution has been in the works for some time.  At times, I hate the bait and switch of sensation story writing. Must admit it works. I clicked. Made me realize these sensational story snippets is a hook and I got caught. 

But At This Moment. . .

Got me thinking this morning. Not to be so quick to judge. Enjoy the day. Sunday morning, sitting here at the new Panera, having an Jalapeno Asiago breakfast bagel sandwich. Downloading some pictures to FB. (Thanks Steve for compliment)  Tried working on my 5 things I am grateful for. Adopting this habit is important for me. On WordPress last night,  it was more challenging than my energies could marshal. Staying local today. No Beach run or Paley Museum.  Horoscope said it is a day of completion. Plus, home stuff needs attention.

It’s a beautiful day anyways. Yesterday, too. Manny Pacquiao won unanimous decision. Did some sightseeing in downtown LA and got some Thai food for dinner. This is what I am thankful for yesterday. In a couple of weeks, Thanksgiving is upon us. Spend time with family. Catch up. Eat watch the Lakers play. Maybe do a soup Kitchen. Enjoy others company. An entire day to be Thankful.

Self Analysis

Figured out why I visit so many museums of late. It hit me a couple days ago. Realized that this my recent fascination of art and sculptures stems from me compensating. A few months back, I was supposed to going be on a trip with M to the Getty Museum. It never happened. long story short, incommunicado. Still went. Spent hours at the Getty just taking pictures. Futilely filling the feeling of emptiness. It stirred me. Made me realized, I missed much. My Aunt Mary said, there are many artists in the family. From what I understand, she is fashion designer. Learned my grandfather was artist, too. Never really knew him. Wish I did. Learned that M enjoys art, too. That’s why I go.

My Coping Mechanism

From this, missed moment it has fueled my fire for history. Some personal and familial history. Don’t know how many museums I’ve visited this last year. From people at LCH, they tell me I go all the time. This is just compensatory.  Straight sublimation. There are more defense mechanisms I’m sure. Just Googled it.  This is how I cope.

Not Alone

My HR Management instructor once said, “Those with great strengths also have great weaknesses.” This always stuck. Made me wonder of all these Heroes, the people too good to be true.  Heroes we invest our Hopes and Dreams. Steve Nash divorcing, Rough.  When we learn they are human too, it brings one pause and makes us pay attention to our own stuff. There is comfort knowing we are in the same boat.

Manny Pacquiao won last night. What fuels his fire. In an HBO interview, Manny said, “He knows what it is like to be Nothing.”  From then on, I admired him more. He was very Human.  Not just a great fighter, but someone genuine.  Read that during the 11^th round, Manny looked at the referee, wondering are you going to stop this fight. He can’t see. Then Manny proceeded to NOT go for the Knockout. When I read this, Class Act. Not wanting cause more permanent physical damage.

Mind Wanders in Church

We all have some angst. Some thing that gnaws at us. We all have life issues. We have healthy ways handling stuff. Some aren’t so healthy. What used to bother me is that not being the best. If I wasn’t going to start, then I would find something that I would be varsity at. In time, it became humbling.  This need to be more than an honorable mention has been helpful and hurtful at times. In time, the need to be Elite has left. Now, I simply want to enjoy the people and time that I am with and let the rest take care of itself. Church yesterday got me thinking. Do all that I can and let God do the Rest.

. . .And Not

 I stole this from profile quote on FB from an old friend Marc, who got it from a movie 13^th Warrior. It helps me.  Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.

If All Good Things Come to Those That Wait. . .

Life happens. Divorces. Bad choices. Computer problems. Plans of a perfect life are nice, but these life moments are the stuff we need. We need to get up when we fall down. We look at the situation. Analyze. Feel Bad. We suck it up and move on.

Why? We realize the next few minutes are really all we need. Life has a way or working itself out. Steve Nash, sorry for people sensationlizing a private matter. I hope this Axiom is True, Then the Opposite should also be true. If All Good Things Come to Those That Wait, then All Bad Things Leave To Those Ready To Move On.  

Scribbles before Fight

This will be a short post. Once my laptop reaches a 100% charge, I am Audi.

Sitting at the bridge between the two towers here at the Central Library earlier in the day.  Been wanting to come here for ages, finally did after going to Saturday mass. Needed to get some G Time. Haven’t done that for awhile. Think I will be coming more regular, may 2 or 3 times for morning mass. I think my soul can handle it. Actually, I backed off for a bit. Needed to get some space and time. Did my reading, and I gots me some understanding.

My mind wanders when sitting in church. A week back in Sunday Mass, and they had the statue of the Fatima. Mom came with me. When she saw the Fatima, she immediately got up and touched the statue’s feet.  She never did that before. The Fatima was on a visit from somewhere. I was a bit surprised. I lacked understanding.

Been researching the Fatima. Some stuff what I gathered.  This got me revved up again. Started visiting various other holy places from different religious practices. Wanted to go to the source for this Higher Power. Stopped by the LA synagogue. Went to a Buddhist temple. Spoke with an Iman. Stopped by the St Andrews Abbey. Also, visited San Fernando Mission again.

This Saturday mass, I started thinking of Manny Pacquiao Fight and Chess.  Used to play chess, a lot. The Bishop, the knight, the queen, king and so on. Why do people choose the roles they take? What possess one to do what they do? Is it evolution? Is it behavioral? Is it some unresolved stuff from a previous life? What is it?

Take for instance the Dalai Lama. He’s been reportedly  reincarnated a fourteen times. His presence has inspired many movies, Seven Years in Tibet, Kundun and so on. He’s a rock star. Supposedly, in some schools of Hinduism it says that we have 8 stages of life in Hinduism. 2 stages belong to the life before. 4 stages are your own. Last two stages are set ups for the life coming. Karmic law and Dharma and the rest.

General Patton believed in reincarnation, too. He felt he fought in the Italy before as a Roman. I mean, he was a hero to the People.  Like George Washington and Bruce Lee. Like Manny Pacquiao. What makes a person a hero?

Tonight, for example, Manny Pacquiao will be fighting Margarito tonight in Dallas, Texas. A classic hero, coming from the barrios of the Philippines, and makes good. Margarito, a fallen fighter, who is looking for redemption. Maybe, it is how 24/7 HBO depicts these characters. But all this is Joseph Conrad myth-making stuff.

Freddie Roach, Manny’s trainer, said this may well be Manny’s last fight. Win or lose. WIN, OF COURSE. But certain people have been gifted. A Midas Touch about it them. From Poverty to Power in a short lifetime. What makes a person overcome Herculean Labors? What brings them to the top of the Mountain? This is so Rocky-ish. Is it some divine intervention? Is it pure will? Is it Darwinian’s “Most Fit” at play?  Our history is filled with these rags to riches. Secreteriat, Abraham Lincoln, Jackie Robinson, and so on. Overcoming obstacles are what heroes do. What separates the good from the great? What is the Gravitas? We all know it when we see it.

Back to church, I was thinking. A pawn is supposedly the weakest piece on the board. Can be taken out by a slew of other pieces. Rook, Bishops, Knights and Queens. However, once the pawn reaches its eight rank, then it can be transformed to a stronger piece. Sure many fall the waist side. They are cannon fodder.  Eight opportunities to reach the 8^th rank, then possibilities are endless.

Think about it. Some say being King is good. It is the piece that matters. Games ends and finishes with the King. It can go any which way. Up, down, left, right, diagonal. However, it is not afforded the range of maneuverability as his Queen. Plus, everyone and their mother are coming after you.  That is the whole basis of the game, Capture the King.

Being a queen is no picnic, either. Sure, it has the power of the Rook and bishop combined. But there is only one of her, compared the others. Plus, Queen is also on many people’s wish list. Furthermore, these lowly pawns at the end of the game, all want to be like her eventually. It’s a reverse sword party. No, perhaps, it more a it’s a Lilith Fair. By game’s end. I mean why would anyone want to be king. The queen has the most power on the board.

Still, I digress. Whether you are a King,  queen, Bishop, Knight . We all have some role we play in life. We are Mother, Father, Daughter, Son, Brother Sister, and so on. Actually, we die and are reborn. We go through rites of passage where we put childlike things away to become something more. To take our place in the community again. We become many things by necessity. It is built in. Hardwired in the DNA. Conditioned by Society with an ever changing system of reward and punishment.

We pursue many things. Evolving and devolving in order grasp these trinkets and ideals from the nethersphere.  Each role brings benefits and drawbacks. Like salmon, there is a drive, an instinct, a wish to reach the top of the mountain. Going upstream, battling each other, battling predators to survive. All in order to seed the next generation with our hopes, dreams, and DNA.

Things is. This is all okay. It has purpose. May not be the things one likes. We may delude ourselves with beliefs of grandiosity. Some things are true whether we believe it or not. Still, it is what we got. All this is the life stuff. This is the fun part. We fall in love. We fall out of it. We have our hearts filled with Joy and Love. We get our Hearts broken with no foreseeable reason.  We recover, then discover, “Let’s Do It Again.” We fight. We win. We fight. We lose. We do what we do because this is the thing we call, “Life.”  We need to be inspired. This is the Hero’s role. We need to be filled with something greater. We search for this “Feel Good.” We seek to be re-energized. To transform. To be Queened. 

Okay. Time is up. Sorry, this was longer than anticipated. Got in the Flow. My laptop is charged and it is time to watch another hero battle.  In life, we are all pawns. We are also Kings and Queens, too. And everything In Between. Okay, “Let’s Get ready to RRRUUUMMMMBBBLLLEEE!!! “ Go Manny Pacquiao.

Call of Duty: Decision Points

Hearing the Call

Call of Duty—This is what Heroes are faced with. Some will answer the call. This is a popular recruitment theme for the US Marine Corp. Heard Manny Pacquiao may be hearing a call. He may be answering wholeheartedly soon. This may be his final fight, the one upcoming. Win or lose, he carries the Hopes and Dreams of many Filipinos.

Decision Points

Last Sunday, I attended the AFI Film festival. Watched movies from 1 pm to Midnight. Would have gone longer for the Midnight Mystery flic, Julia’s Eyes, but that would have meant getting home at 3:30 or 4am. Something, I no longer want to do. Angels have been watching over me when I was driving home sleepy. Don’t want to push my luck. There are Decision Points.

Star Power

Felt a certain pride waiting in line for the new movie Facebook link to AmigoThe Movie. Not that the line was long, and it was. It was that there were so many people wanting to see this move. It’s a feature film with B List Actors. Not the star power of Julia Roberts, Tom Cruise, and the like. But the actors you would definitely would have seen before. Movie was a period piece, time line about the turn of the century movie of the US and Philippine War. US exercising the Monroe Doctrine liberating Cuba and the PI from Spanish rule.

"I Love AFI" Guy

History, Lesson Learned

Learned about a decision point. Movie explored the time critical to development of a Philippine nation. It gave an account, an understanding of the cultural distinctions and developments of the Filipino people. It was in Tagalog, but thankfully it had English subtitles. Understood some of it not being a strong native speaker. (This is something I am proudly working on.) It is nice to understand the context in which one is born in. It is vital to understand the times of the people, the social mores, the technical advances, the world events of a person.

Our Time

For me, growing up TV was a babysitter. Latch key kid was common. Comic books were my first taste of the arts and literature. People played outside. In time, Atari, Coleco, PacMan, and Apple injected into the culture. Internet Explorer, HBO, and the Showtime Lakers were the Giants of my youth. Now, these days, Direct TV, Iphones, Firefox, and GPS are the norms.

Continuation, Last Samurai

Certain themes come to light as social mores develop. Recently finished the 47^th Ronin. The backdrop of the story reminds me of events happening today.   Economic hardship, the transition of class structure, and the doubt in government solutions. While, watching films of the AFI, the stories were of Redemption, Hope, Hardship, and Perseverance. There were themes of fulfilling a loved one’s dying wishes, Father’s love, Familial duties and expectations. My AFI watching theme was  unconsciously that of Continuation. These movies were Second Gate to Sleeping, Princess Montspiere, Screaming Man, and Amigos.

Fact Is. . .

In our Collective Unconscious, Heroes go through tough times. They suffer loss. They are faced with the choice of lying down or getting back up. There are fundamental truths. When dealing with social mores must fight and/ or accept events. There were great personal and community loss and hardship. There are/ were bad things in life that happen. All of us face this. All of us. Yes, I mean all of us. The return to better times is simply not possible. There were always something good and bad happening. Always. We could examine the past and long for comfort of simpler time, but that would we be missing what we have now. 

Moments In Time

Been visiting many LA museums of late. You name it. I’ve been there or will be in the next few months. There is a beauty to seeing of the past. It is nice to view someone’s interpretation of something wonderful of his or her time. Still, that is where it belongs. It is natural for people to evolve, develop, to change.  It would be a life unlived to have the same views one had when they were in their teens for their thirties, and on.

Freshness

Everyday we should be amazed by something.  There is so much beauty out there. If we can’t see it, then we are truly wearing some blinders. Or perhaps our hearts aren’t open and they should be?  Many long for a return to innocence. It is with amazement of the view, we long. It is that freshness one misses.

It's A Wonderful Life

Clarence, It All Counts

Choice is simple.  Remember you are a tourist here. The time we have is borrowed and at some time we will need to return the body we have to the owner. It is just the way it is. Yet, to look through old eyes and a heavy soul is to miss many things.

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life"--Muhammad Ali
Given not all of us have lived life of happiness. To this, I say. Its your fault. Yes, Your Fault.  If you have been wronged and you probably have, then would it not be a shame to be remained locked in the chains of your past. You only strengthen the ties of those long gone and undeserving of the precious moments you have left in this wonderful world. If you have been fortunate to be blessed, then it is your duty—your  Call to Duty to continue this practice. Happy people suck, at times.  I will agree, this is true. If you can’t beat them, well, you know the rest.

Insanity Is. . .

So for those willing to explore new avenues of life, ready to let go of the ties that hold us back from being more, I salute you. For those, unhappy and depressed. Its time change Clubs and find Fun again. View life as a kid again. The definition of “Insanity is. . .” Stop if, you heard this, “. . .is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.” Those already Happy, the Best Parts of Life, usually had Company during these moments. 

Looking Back

Pacquiao, I hope you will Finish well. Amigo Film Director John Sayles, thank you for bringing me some understanding of my cultural history that Books can’t give. Thank You, 47^th Ronin for reminding me of Higher Moral value is one of the immutable truths worth living and dying for. Forty-Seven Ronin

Pacquiao: What Heroes Are Made Of

ineversavedanything4theswimback.blogspot.com

Turn a Different Corner

Decided to not to watch TV and use Facebook for a week. Think it will be for longer, however, I think it best to start small. Not that TV is entirely bad. Not that Facebook is not without purpose and benefit. I just would like to see what I would choose to do instead of these things. Bucket List, radio, reading, and a new Blog Take one picture every day of the year:  So far.  

“What would I do differently?” This is what I thought about driving to the Wild Card gym for Media Day. What would people choose to do instead of what they are doing now. What are peoples’ wishes, dreams, and aspiration? Let me ask you this, “If you were not doing what you are doing now, what would you be doing?” In other word, What If?

Long Road

Our lives follow a certain path. At times, we choose to follow conventional wisdom and do what others expect of us. At times, we chose to go a different way. These are the regrets and hardships people make for themselves. It is also the place where something wonderful and exciting exists. It is the road less traveled.

My Heroes

Larger Than Life

The original intent of writing this blog was to explore Heroes in many areas. Comics, sports, movies, religion, mythology and so forth. 

The Hero I’d like to talk about will be fighting in a couple of weeks. His name is Manny Pacquiao. Saw him less than a week ago. Driving his black Mercedes. Dressed in red, and headed to Media Day. His trainer, Freddie Roach was already speaking. It was a sight to see. He is not that tall physically. Reminds me of my cousin, Brian. My other cousin, said he looked my Uncle Juhn. Lol

May not be tall physically, but he is giant. A giant in the Filipino community and the world. Heard from friend, that they call him “King” back home. Maybe he is. Who knows? I grew up in the waning days of Muhammad Ali. A loud, boisterous, confident, no apologies, charismatic, brash boxer. Manny Pacquiao is the opposite. Soft-spoken, well-manner, religious, self-deprecating person. Both are giants and both deserve a place in boxing pantheon. Both seem to reflect the best in people. I like them both.

Hopes and Dreams, Being Human

Undoubtedly, there would be some tragic flaw that we are not aware of. Most people do. This is alright. This is the human condition. No one is perfect. It is these idiosyncrasies that make it so human. So enduring and everlasting. So real. Still despite his many athletic accomplishments, the things that I find admirable is the stuff heroes are made of is this. It is the ability to stand firm and adapt. It is the ability to withstand titanic shots and get up despite the body’s want and will to stay down. It is ability to go on and move on. It is the ability to transform and be more than what others expect and to be what one personally expects.

Manny vs. Cotto top right

Collage

I remember being at few parties and bars when Manny fought. Being the only Filipino in the mostly Mexican crowd, it was intimidating. Can’t tell you how much cultural pride one feels when seeing a representative of your people wins despite peer pressure. Still, what I enjoyed the most transformative effect winning has. After future wins against Spanish opponents. After future wins against British fighters. After wins from African warriors. It was winning just for winning. No race involved. It was just one man winning, carrying the weight of a peoples hopes and dreams.What I enjoyed most was being in the same parties and bars, where the same people were once foes were now friends. It was rooting with the Mexican fans, the British fans, the African fans for one man. Just watching greatness.

End, Maybe Near?

I’ve read a few posts on various legitimate websites and post that this may be Manny’s last hurrah. This may be the last fight. Not sure how true this, but still. Win or lose, the thing is that he fought, fell down, fought again and fought so more. World champion several times over in different weight classes was secondary. Bearing the weight of all the Hopes and dreams of a people is the stuff legends are made of. This is what Manny has done and I am sure will continue to do.

Guess, this is why fans, of all shapes, sizes, ages, cultures, and professions from around the world wait for a chance to glimpse of greatness.

Paycheck Players

What I admire most is that he has chosen to go on and move on. His trainer Freddie Roach said, in effect, that he is not as focused as before. He may not be. His opponent is a shamed boxer suspended for cheating. What I like about Manny in the upcoming fight is what he said. “His opponent served his punishment and everyone deserves a second chance.” Everyone needs Redemption.

  

Saddleback Butte Re-Dedication

Bloodsport

Manny would have liked to fought another caliber fighter, like Mayweather, but none would step up. Guess, there is a difference in quality in fighter, and quality of character. In case you missed it, Floyd Mayweather, it is okay to say one is scared; however, sniping from the sidelines is unbecoming of a true champion.

Fighting is one way to make money. People have different priorities. Timing is everything; Guess, he Floyd Mayweather missed his. Guess that is difference between the headlines and side notes. So if this is Manny last pugilistic hurrah, I hope he fights well. Win or Lose, I hope that Manny’s success in the arena will translate to success in the other blood sport. Politics.We need heroes here, too.

Fall Down Seven. . .

One door closes (maybe) Another opens. They say God does not take a gift without giving something bigger and better.  We all face challenges. Sometimes we battle with others. Sometimes we battle nature. Sometimes we battle time. Too often, we battle ourselves.  Sometimes the lesson learned is not how well one delivers a punch, but how one takes one. There is an old Chinese saying, “Fall Down Seven, Stand Up Eight.”