More to the Story

Steve Nash—Divorces after Birth of Third Child.

This is Effed Up. He’s my favorite basketball player. What is up? I clicked to read more.Steve Nash Divorces After Birth of Child, An Off Putting Title Learned they have been separated for a few months and the process of marriage dissolution has been in the works for some time.  At times, I hate the bait and switch of sensation story writing. Must admit it works. I clicked. Made me realize these sensational story snippets is a hook and I got caught. 

But At This Moment. . .

Got me thinking this morning. Not to be so quick to judge. Enjoy the day. Sunday morning, sitting here at the new Panera, having an Jalapeno Asiago breakfast bagel sandwich. Downloading some pictures to FB. (Thanks Steve for compliment)  Tried working on my 5 things I am grateful for. Adopting this habit is important for me. On WordPress last night,  it was more challenging than my energies could marshal. Staying local today. No Beach run or Paley Museum.  Horoscope said it is a day of completion. Plus, home stuff needs attention.

It’s a beautiful day anyways. Yesterday, too. Manny Pacquiao won unanimous decision. Did some sightseeing in downtown LA and got some Thai food for dinner. This is what I am thankful for yesterday. In a couple of weeks, Thanksgiving is upon us. Spend time with family. Catch up. Eat watch the Lakers play. Maybe do a soup Kitchen. Enjoy others company. An entire day to be Thankful.

Self Analysis

Figured out why I visit so many museums of late. It hit me a couple days ago. Realized that this my recent fascination of art and sculptures stems from me compensating. A few months back, I was supposed to going be on a trip with M to the Getty Museum. It never happened. long story short, incommunicado. Still went. Spent hours at the Getty just taking pictures. Futilely filling the feeling of emptiness. It stirred me. Made me realized, I missed much. My Aunt Mary said, there are many artists in the family. From what I understand, she is fashion designer. Learned my grandfather was artist, too. Never really knew him. Wish I did. Learned that M enjoys art, too. That’s why I go.

My Coping Mechanism

From this, missed moment it has fueled my fire for history. Some personal and familial history. Don’t know how many museums I’ve visited this last year. From people at LCH, they tell me I go all the time. This is just compensatory.  Straight sublimation. There are more defense mechanisms I’m sure. Just Googled it.  This is how I cope.

Not Alone

My HR Management instructor once said, “Those with great strengths also have great weaknesses.” This always stuck. Made me wonder of all these Heroes, the people too good to be true.  Heroes we invest our Hopes and Dreams. Steve Nash divorcing, Rough.  When we learn they are human too, it brings one pause and makes us pay attention to our own stuff. There is comfort knowing we are in the same boat.

Manny Pacquiao won last night. What fuels his fire. In an HBO interview, Manny said, “He knows what it is like to be Nothing.”  From then on, I admired him more. He was very Human.  Not just a great fighter, but someone genuine.  Read that during the 11^th round, Manny looked at the referee, wondering are you going to stop this fight. He can’t see. Then Manny proceeded to NOT go for the Knockout. When I read this, Class Act. Not wanting cause more permanent physical damage.

Mind Wanders in Church

We all have some angst. Some thing that gnaws at us. We all have life issues. We have healthy ways handling stuff. Some aren’t so healthy. What used to bother me is that not being the best. If I wasn’t going to start, then I would find something that I would be varsity at. In time, it became humbling.  This need to be more than an honorable mention has been helpful and hurtful at times. In time, the need to be Elite has left. Now, I simply want to enjoy the people and time that I am with and let the rest take care of itself. Church yesterday got me thinking. Do all that I can and let God do the Rest.

. . .And Not

 I stole this from profile quote on FB from an old friend Marc, who got it from a movie 13^th Warrior. It helps me.  Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.

If All Good Things Come to Those That Wait. . .

Life happens. Divorces. Bad choices. Computer problems. Plans of a perfect life are nice, but these life moments are the stuff we need. We need to get up when we fall down. We look at the situation. Analyze. Feel Bad. We suck it up and move on.

Why? We realize the next few minutes are really all we need. Life has a way or working itself out. Steve Nash, sorry for people sensationlizing a private matter. I hope this Axiom is True, Then the Opposite should also be true. If All Good Things Come to Those That Wait, then All Bad Things Leave To Those Ready To Move On.  

Be Like Water. . .

Its cold.

Now
Air conditioning is on high. It is cold outside, too. Winter soon. May come early if this morning is any indication. Went swimming yesterday afternoon. Nice and brisk. The way that I like it. Finished 50, mostly legs. Zoomers and Scuba fins day.

What Tomorrow May Bring
Not sure what I will do this weekend. Maybe a moonlit night hike at Devil’s Punch Bowl. Maybe watch rubber duckies travel around Drytown. Maybe I will go to Highland and do the Relay for Life for Cancer. Not sure, but horoscope says that my emotional vibe will strong.

Tomorrow's Dreams
Kevin’s team plays tonight. Going against Kennedy. Somewhere in the Valley. They blew out Hart last week. Hope they win tonight, too. It would be nice for Palmdale to win a CIF Championship. They have been so close for so long. Next week they play Valencia. A perennial powerhouse. From what he told me, Valencia destroyed whoever they played last night. Normally, he can’t scout a team before they play them. Most high school games are all on Fridays. Last night must have been an unusual.

Starbursts and Bees, Look Up
Whatever is going, I can sense a something unusual in the air. There is something about the season changing. Days and nights are becoming more even. Autumnal Equinox soon. It is a time of balance. Soon we get to fall back, Day light savings time. Move the clock back an hour.

Time
It’s nice to have a reset. A time to get back some precious day, just by turning back the clock. Darkest hours does not come so soon. Still, it comes. The more we speed up, the slower things get. We start noticing the little things. Watched History Channel or National Geographic show. Talked about the physics of time travel and the theories on how it is may happen. Worm holes. Gravitational sucks. Spaceship surfing the time-space continuum. Essentially, the faster one moves the slower time gets. 

Fault Lines
This has been my experience. Being in the flow, where time and space seems to slow. Moments where one is in the Zone. Haven’t been here in awhile, yet I know it exists. Been there playing a good game of basketball. Swimming in the pool. Time, space, and mind is in sync. Where everything is right. Everything falls in place. It is where everything exist. The past, the future, the now. It all makes sense. Still. This pursuit for Zen, the “Flow”, Big Smile never seems to end. 

Civilizations have risen and fallen in the search for something Bigger.

Manic-Depressant
Yet, season change in the endless pursuit. One wonders why struggle? Why acquiesce? The mountains and valleys one yearns for seems counter-intuitive to follow. It is so Bipolar. Still, it is what it is. We live in many variations of the same journey. Whether it is the pursuit for State Championships. Whether it is the completion of that college degree. Whether it the fifty laps completed. 

Journey May Take Hours
This pattern of struggle invigorates and depletes. It is not to be mind tired of the countless hours at work or in school. It is not the countless hours in the gym or dojo being physically tired. It is not the time being in love. And out of love.

It is the journey of the keyboard tapping. It is the journey stroke of the paintbrush. It is the dance itself. It is the pursuit with ferocious unrelentlessness. It is taking the moment of the little things that makes all the difference.

Bonds, Be Like Water
Sure the many molecules do not connect. Many attract and repel. Some being ionic. Taking an electron. Losing an electron. We become positive and negative in relationships. Some times these bonds are covalent. Where supposed opposites find balance together. Think Yin Yang symbol. Inequality becomes mutually beneficial. Think symbiosis. Like the two hydrogen atoms forming a togetherness with the oxygen. Magical qualities happen. This alchemy of life makes something wonderful. Things fit.

Magic Happens
True, it may seem without purpose. It may be. However, when serendipity and synchronicity happen, magical moments happen. Like the musicians named John, Paul, George, and Ringo form. Like when basketball wellsprings forms in Boston and Los Angeles. When perfect storms destruct and construct something wonderful. Music is made. Dynasties are built. Ordinary becomes extraordinary.

Magical Moments, Taken for Granted
If everything wonderful happened all the time, miracles would not be so special.  Things is, as time speeds up and as we begin to slow down, we notice miracles happen every single day. Every single moment. Every everything. We learn that its all special. We begin to ride the wave.

Phil's Birthday, 9/17/45
As my second favorite coach has said,”In basketball - as in life - true joy comes from being fully present in each and every moment, not just when things are going your way. Of course, it's no accident that things are more likely to go your way when you stop worrying about whether you're going to win or lose and focus your full attention on what's happening right this moment.”—Phil_Jackson

Oceans Subside. Take A Ride
So let it be cold. Let the a/c be too high. Let the pursuit for football glory continue. Let Valencia bring it on. Let me do my fifty laps in the the sixty degree September pool. Let the keys be tapped and may this internet quietdom ring soon with joy and laughter. And remember to pay full attention on the what is happening right this moment. This is realization that the little things count, because they are never little. It all counts. Miracles happens all the time. All the time. All the time. It just become so common that we forget that nothing is common.Every moment is magical.

Buddha, Fridays (1 of 2)

He jumped. 

We were just kidding. But there he went.  Could see it was a pretty long way down. That jump, left quite a big splash. We were smack talking, goading each other to strap on a pair. One second, he was there. Next, he wasn’t. Just like that. Brian, Rod, and I looked at each other in disbelief. He actually jumped. We looked down again. All we could see is his arms was flailing away.

Butterfly Buddha 
This was becoming more common. Buddha (Not his real name) was taking leaps in his personality at the time. Guess, he had enough.  We were all unaccustomed to this change in behavior. You see Buddha was becoming at this time. He was going through a change.

We balled often. It was a warm summer and we were playing at the school, earlier in the week. Buddha opened a can of whoop ass. Can’t say that it was surprising. Shocking, definitely. He has always been an intense person. Not as intense as my brother Kevin, but close. Seeing warrior mode in relatives is something I got used to. Kevin played with all heart and smarts. Kevin was the intimidator. Watching football, push back is common. Never saw push back come to blows on the blacktop before. This day was different.

Scorpios, Buddha and Allana
It appeared all the berating and unkind words was reaching whistle time. It’s been percolating for years. He is born at the time of Scorpio. It has been said, those born under this sign are very intense and have ability remake themselves. Allana (Not real name) was like this. Both are good-hearted people that went through some trying times. She had something taken from her. From the moment I met, her personality was recapturing what was stolen. Allana was the person I was thinking when Buddha finally decided he had enough.

Time to Be A Giver
Buddha was looking to re-take something that was his. Throughout his younger days, he took a lot of grief. Looking back, his receiving days were over. It was time for him to be a giver. Those growing up with him were amazed at this time of reclamation. All I could think of was watching an angry sleeping elephant wake up.

Rumble in the Jungle
On this day, we found ourselves playing with these loud, boisterous self-proclaimed ballers. Think boxer, Floyd Mayweather. They were good and seemed to enjoy smack talking. This team jelled and they were winning by intimidation. It was our turn.  This game was heightening in intensity.

The player that Buddha was covering was tall and had attitude, the enforcer. Getting in people’s faces trying to get them out of their game was his modus operandi. There was lots of jawing. After a layup, the player, let’s call him Mouth, bumped chest with my cousin, saying, “You can’t cover me.”

Mount Vesuvius
He let this one go. It was common for him. However, one could see he was seething. He played harder and made a couple of plays that made the Mouth look bad.  The Mouth was getting chewed out by his teammates for his play. Play got rougher as the score was tighter. Head games were returned. Poor play was now destroying the Mouth’s confidence. He gave a hard foul to Buddha expecting no response. Buddha was taking it. Closed lip, focused on just winning the game. This was his style.

All of sudden. Buddha was throwing hands. Never saw it before. I was agog. Buddha was in actual fist fight. It was both slow and a blur simultaneously. We were all taken back by Buddha’s berserker rage. It was. . .I don’t know. Jaw-dropping?

Chris Tucker, Fridays
In a sense, it was relieving. In another sense it was disturbing to watch. Won’t describe the graphic savagery. It makes me uneasy. Wish the visuals weren’t in the cortex. Someone with such a good heart and calm demeanor exploding like that. Imagine Ghandi transforming into an angry demon pit bull/ hellhound mix. Think Animal Channel on Steroids. (Chris Tucker, Friday YouTube on the next post)

If you are boxing fan, remember the match between British fighter Hatton and Filipino Champion Manny Pacquiao. Buddha threw a picture perfect shot. When I saw the Mouth's jaw explode one way, while the rest of his body face stayed stationery. It was a car accident to the Mouth's face.Whew. Got to close my eyes on that one.

I am disturbed and uneasily proud. All I could do is shudder and  shake my head.  Not pretty.

All the cousins were stunned. Buddha. . .we never thought it wasn’t in his nature.We were wrong.

Lucky, we had the group wherewithal to not let things escalate too much with the Mouth’s friends and teammates. Brian threw down someone. Mike, did the same. I held my guy down and said, Let it go. Rod, I think, pulled Buddha off the Mouth. Honestly, this part was a blur. We left. I do remember the Mouth wasn’t saying anything anymore. He couldn’t.

From that moment, things for Buddha changed. (Continued Buddha, 2 of 2)