More to the Story

Steve Nash—Divorces after Birth of Third Child.

This is Effed Up. He’s my favorite basketball player. What is up? I clicked to read more.Steve Nash Divorces After Birth of Child, An Off Putting Title Learned they have been separated for a few months and the process of marriage dissolution has been in the works for some time.  At times, I hate the bait and switch of sensation story writing. Must admit it works. I clicked. Made me realize these sensational story snippets is a hook and I got caught. 

But At This Moment. . .

Got me thinking this morning. Not to be so quick to judge. Enjoy the day. Sunday morning, sitting here at the new Panera, having an Jalapeno Asiago breakfast bagel sandwich. Downloading some pictures to FB. (Thanks Steve for compliment)  Tried working on my 5 things I am grateful for. Adopting this habit is important for me. On WordPress last night,  it was more challenging than my energies could marshal. Staying local today. No Beach run or Paley Museum.  Horoscope said it is a day of completion. Plus, home stuff needs attention.

It’s a beautiful day anyways. Yesterday, too. Manny Pacquiao won unanimous decision. Did some sightseeing in downtown LA and got some Thai food for dinner. This is what I am thankful for yesterday. In a couple of weeks, Thanksgiving is upon us. Spend time with family. Catch up. Eat watch the Lakers play. Maybe do a soup Kitchen. Enjoy others company. An entire day to be Thankful.

Self Analysis

Figured out why I visit so many museums of late. It hit me a couple days ago. Realized that this my recent fascination of art and sculptures stems from me compensating. A few months back, I was supposed to going be on a trip with M to the Getty Museum. It never happened. long story short, incommunicado. Still went. Spent hours at the Getty just taking pictures. Futilely filling the feeling of emptiness. It stirred me. Made me realized, I missed much. My Aunt Mary said, there are many artists in the family. From what I understand, she is fashion designer. Learned my grandfather was artist, too. Never really knew him. Wish I did. Learned that M enjoys art, too. That’s why I go.

My Coping Mechanism

From this, missed moment it has fueled my fire for history. Some personal and familial history. Don’t know how many museums I’ve visited this last year. From people at LCH, they tell me I go all the time. This is just compensatory.  Straight sublimation. There are more defense mechanisms I’m sure. Just Googled it.  This is how I cope.

Not Alone

My HR Management instructor once said, “Those with great strengths also have great weaknesses.” This always stuck. Made me wonder of all these Heroes, the people too good to be true.  Heroes we invest our Hopes and Dreams. Steve Nash divorcing, Rough.  When we learn they are human too, it brings one pause and makes us pay attention to our own stuff. There is comfort knowing we are in the same boat.

Manny Pacquiao won last night. What fuels his fire. In an HBO interview, Manny said, “He knows what it is like to be Nothing.”  From then on, I admired him more. He was very Human.  Not just a great fighter, but someone genuine.  Read that during the 11^th round, Manny looked at the referee, wondering are you going to stop this fight. He can’t see. Then Manny proceeded to NOT go for the Knockout. When I read this, Class Act. Not wanting cause more permanent physical damage.

Mind Wanders in Church

We all have some angst. Some thing that gnaws at us. We all have life issues. We have healthy ways handling stuff. Some aren’t so healthy. What used to bother me is that not being the best. If I wasn’t going to start, then I would find something that I would be varsity at. In time, it became humbling.  This need to be more than an honorable mention has been helpful and hurtful at times. In time, the need to be Elite has left. Now, I simply want to enjoy the people and time that I am with and let the rest take care of itself. Church yesterday got me thinking. Do all that I can and let God do the Rest.

. . .And Not

 I stole this from profile quote on FB from an old friend Marc, who got it from a movie 13^th Warrior. It helps me.  Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.

If All Good Things Come to Those That Wait. . .

Life happens. Divorces. Bad choices. Computer problems. Plans of a perfect life are nice, but these life moments are the stuff we need. We need to get up when we fall down. We look at the situation. Analyze. Feel Bad. We suck it up and move on.

Why? We realize the next few minutes are really all we need. Life has a way or working itself out. Steve Nash, sorry for people sensationlizing a private matter. I hope this Axiom is True, Then the Opposite should also be true. If All Good Things Come to Those That Wait, then All Bad Things Leave To Those Ready To Move On.  

Can't See the Forest, the Trees Are In the Way

Feel My Flow

Saturday. Juno's on. Okay. I stopped the  video. I'm sure it is a good flic, just not into it. Been false starting a lot of late.

Enter the Dragon

Got some Dragon Blood incense burning. Need something different at the moment. Sunny outside and here I sit. Thought about writing on the full moon last night, but just wasn’t in to it. Its been that way for awhile. Not being into it. Been feeling Flow-less of late. Been swimming everyday. Been writing every other day. 

Its Genetic

Been asked to do Ballroom dancing with a friend. Sounds fun and I think I am in. My Dad was a dancer. A good dancer from what I understand. Always said, before getting married, if I get married, I'd learn how to Ballroom. Maybe this is a precursor for something. Who knows? Sounds fun. My brother Kevin took a Ballroom and he has been good in about everything he does. I am incredibly proud of Kay Kay. My sister-in-law’s nephew dances too. It looks fun.

Color Me Bad, A Time Remembered

Remember years back at the frat days. BU Sig Eps threw the best mixers. Mrs. Gold, Alpha something. Toga. Boy oh boy, I was intoxicated. An angry dancer, something to prove. Something that I needed to get out then. Not a couples dancer type at the time. Got that anger out of the system. Thought about dancing as a minor. The "E Effect" again. 

Lombard Street

Yet Tango looks like fun. Smiles, coordination, a little attitude and personality. A certain, "I got this" attitude. Only one I remember dancing with, being in sync with was. Well,  actually two. Ahhhh. Let’s not go there. Too many twists and turns, like Lombard. 

It was Michael Jackson's death anniversary yesterday. All these dancing videos are on. Remember the Time, Smooth Criminal, Dirty Diana. Perhaps, unconsciously I equate dancing with Life. With Energy. With Celebration.

In Sync, Not Really

So where do I go from here? Laundry is drying. Kitchen is a disaster. Getting new counters installed. Granite. Maybe a swim. Maybe a run. Maybe I will just continue writing. But about what? My usual process is to type and it just flows. Perhaps my chakras are blocked again. Perhaps, I am just not feeling in sync.

Just Jump

Dragon blood smells red with energy. Bathroom has some oils burning. Linen. Like fresh laundry. Always loved that smell. Smelled like renewal. It smelled fresh. It smelled of “Vigor again.” A life lived to do again. Saddling up. Getting back on the horse. Taking a jump. I should follow my Uncle Juhn's example. Get on the zip line in the Philippines and just hang on. Always loved the smells of freedom and risk.

Moment of Pause

It’s funny. Always considered myself the thinking type. Logical. Analytical. Orderly. Now, its been more spontaneous, un-planned, more energetic. Guess, like the feather in the wind Forrest Gump-ish.  History, destiny, universe giving me a nudge here and there. Looking over these last few days, it has been uneventful. Maybe it's time to pause and collect myself.

Getting Messages

Recently adjusted my google calendar to send me email reminders of museum days.  The blackberry buzzes for awhile. Many I would like to attend. Forrest Lawn Mexican Museum, the Getty has few. Ones  to attend feels like the La Brea Tar Pits and Natural History Museum. 

Odd thing, I noticed my viewing choices of late are of the history channels.Seeing these shows and museums strengthens me. It invigorates me.  Makes me think there is life out there. It has been there. It will always be there. It sends my soul messages. "Get out there learn from it. Go make some history yourself."

These visits to the Descano Gardens, Getty Center, Hearst Castle stirred something. Life, I guess. Media moguls that made fortunes like Citizen Kane. Able to make these beautiful homes with incredible gardens and forests. 

Flower Flow

Noticed that the flower vibe. I think its the "E Effect". Blame her.  She’s projecting and I picked up on her flower vibe. She hasn’t written for a bit. Hope things are well. Now, I've been stopping here and there on the side of the road taking photos of flowers and trees.

All Kinds

There’s meaning and purpose to this. Just don’t see the bigger picture right. Maybe its from the Phenomenon movie. John Travolta's character picks a bouquet of wild flowers from his house to his love interest Kyra Sedgwick. You'll have to see it to get the meaning. As for my reason for taking photos of flowers and trees, I don't know. No love interest at the moment. Answer will come. This I'm sure of.

Funny at the Descano Gardens I found myself taking lots of photos of trees: bamboo, spruce, redwood. 

On the trip down from SF, on the Coastline and Big Sur, I was amazed at the little pockets of trees on the side of the mountain. Green and lush on the yellow, maize hills. Green trees hugging the jagged silver coastline. Beautiful entities that hides the rivers, hides the mountains, brings shade to weary traveler. So much history.

Buddha and Bohdi, Spiritual Enlightenment

Perhaps the fascination began with learning the spiritual significance of the Bohdi tree. Read that the Buddha found enlightenment in the tree's protection. Perhaps it has been the vanishing Josuha Trees close to home. Perhaps it was the drive to Zuma with the Totem poles. Funny, started with the dance and now trees. Don't the significance of trees to the soul, but there is calmness there. Been feeling the inkling to go to the Pasadena Arboretum. Never been. Just learned about it. Maybe its time.

Gaea

Can’t watch the show the Ax Man. There is purpose in what they do, however, it feels like whale hunting. Not something that feels right. Perhaps, it is the environmentalist emerging inside of me. Stop the Oil Gushing, BP

Sitting out Big Sur just felt energizing.  Trees all around. Lots of energy. It felt like wearing clothes  just out of the dryer. Renewed. Well, it is time to go. Got to look at the Bonsai, she's calling. It needs some love and attention.