Scribbles before Fight

This will be a short post. Once my laptop reaches a 100% charge, I am Audi.

Sitting at the bridge between the two towers here at the Central Library earlier in the day.  Been wanting to come here for ages, finally did after going to Saturday mass. Needed to get some G Time. Haven’t done that for awhile. Think I will be coming more regular, may 2 or 3 times for morning mass. I think my soul can handle it. Actually, I backed off for a bit. Needed to get some space and time. Did my reading, and I gots me some understanding.

My mind wanders when sitting in church. A week back in Sunday Mass, and they had the statue of the Fatima. Mom came with me. When she saw the Fatima, she immediately got up and touched the statue’s feet.  She never did that before. The Fatima was on a visit from somewhere. I was a bit surprised. I lacked understanding.

Been researching the Fatima. Some stuff what I gathered.  This got me revved up again. Started visiting various other holy places from different religious practices. Wanted to go to the source for this Higher Power. Stopped by the LA synagogue. Went to a Buddhist temple. Spoke with an Iman. Stopped by the St Andrews Abbey. Also, visited San Fernando Mission again.

This Saturday mass, I started thinking of Manny Pacquiao Fight and Chess.  Used to play chess, a lot. The Bishop, the knight, the queen, king and so on. Why do people choose the roles they take? What possess one to do what they do? Is it evolution? Is it behavioral? Is it some unresolved stuff from a previous life? What is it?

Take for instance the Dalai Lama. He’s been reportedly  reincarnated a fourteen times. His presence has inspired many movies, Seven Years in Tibet, Kundun and so on. He’s a rock star. Supposedly, in some schools of Hinduism it says that we have 8 stages of life in Hinduism. 2 stages belong to the life before. 4 stages are your own. Last two stages are set ups for the life coming. Karmic law and Dharma and the rest.

General Patton believed in reincarnation, too. He felt he fought in the Italy before as a Roman. I mean, he was a hero to the People.  Like George Washington and Bruce Lee. Like Manny Pacquiao. What makes a person a hero?

Tonight, for example, Manny Pacquiao will be fighting Margarito tonight in Dallas, Texas. A classic hero, coming from the barrios of the Philippines, and makes good. Margarito, a fallen fighter, who is looking for redemption. Maybe, it is how 24/7 HBO depicts these characters. But all this is Joseph Conrad myth-making stuff.

Freddie Roach, Manny’s trainer, said this may well be Manny’s last fight. Win or lose. WIN, OF COURSE. But certain people have been gifted. A Midas Touch about it them. From Poverty to Power in a short lifetime. What makes a person overcome Herculean Labors? What brings them to the top of the Mountain? This is so Rocky-ish. Is it some divine intervention? Is it pure will? Is it Darwinian’s “Most Fit” at play?  Our history is filled with these rags to riches. Secreteriat, Abraham Lincoln, Jackie Robinson, and so on. Overcoming obstacles are what heroes do. What separates the good from the great? What is the Gravitas? We all know it when we see it.

Back to church, I was thinking. A pawn is supposedly the weakest piece on the board. Can be taken out by a slew of other pieces. Rook, Bishops, Knights and Queens. However, once the pawn reaches its eight rank, then it can be transformed to a stronger piece. Sure many fall the waist side. They are cannon fodder.  Eight opportunities to reach the 8^th rank, then possibilities are endless.

Think about it. Some say being King is good. It is the piece that matters. Games ends and finishes with the King. It can go any which way. Up, down, left, right, diagonal. However, it is not afforded the range of maneuverability as his Queen. Plus, everyone and their mother are coming after you.  That is the whole basis of the game, Capture the King.

Being a queen is no picnic, either. Sure, it has the power of the Rook and bishop combined. But there is only one of her, compared the others. Plus, Queen is also on many people’s wish list. Furthermore, these lowly pawns at the end of the game, all want to be like her eventually. It’s a reverse sword party. No, perhaps, it more a it’s a Lilith Fair. By game’s end. I mean why would anyone want to be king. The queen has the most power on the board.

Still, I digress. Whether you are a King,  queen, Bishop, Knight . We all have some role we play in life. We are Mother, Father, Daughter, Son, Brother Sister, and so on. Actually, we die and are reborn. We go through rites of passage where we put childlike things away to become something more. To take our place in the community again. We become many things by necessity. It is built in. Hardwired in the DNA. Conditioned by Society with an ever changing system of reward and punishment.

We pursue many things. Evolving and devolving in order grasp these trinkets and ideals from the nethersphere.  Each role brings benefits and drawbacks. Like salmon, there is a drive, an instinct, a wish to reach the top of the mountain. Going upstream, battling each other, battling predators to survive. All in order to seed the next generation with our hopes, dreams, and DNA.

Things is. This is all okay. It has purpose. May not be the things one likes. We may delude ourselves with beliefs of grandiosity. Some things are true whether we believe it or not. Still, it is what we got. All this is the life stuff. This is the fun part. We fall in love. We fall out of it. We have our hearts filled with Joy and Love. We get our Hearts broken with no foreseeable reason.  We recover, then discover, “Let’s Do It Again.” We fight. We win. We fight. We lose. We do what we do because this is the thing we call, “Life.”  We need to be inspired. This is the Hero’s role. We need to be filled with something greater. We search for this “Feel Good.” We seek to be re-energized. To transform. To be Queened. 

Okay. Time is up. Sorry, this was longer than anticipated. Got in the Flow. My laptop is charged and it is time to watch another hero battle.  In life, we are all pawns. We are also Kings and Queens, too. And everything In Between. Okay, “Let’s Get ready to RRRUUUMMMMBBBLLLEEE!!! “ Go Manny Pacquiao.

GATE

Crossing Bridges

Before the journey ahead,  you look at your destination. All around you find yourself wondering is it worth the adventure. 

View

Looking overhead at the cars speeding to and from you. Cyclist goes by in the narrow road you take. Looking high above at the suspension wires wondering will it hold. You look to the side and see vast oceans to the left and right. You see surfers in the distant, cars parked to the side. If you look closely, you see tiny fishermen on the pier.

Accidents Waiting To Happen

Still you journey ahead, as riders whisk by. You hope that they don’t strike when you're not looking. A mid-bridge collision could happen and the fall is a doozy. Saw two almost-hits just on a short five minute walk. Strong gust could find them crashing to the left oceans below or to right to speeding cars. 

You notice the 45 mph speed limit sign ahead. You notice the yellow telephone with a sign above it, “There is Hope. Your Fall would be Fatal and Tragic.” For Jumpers, one guesses. Fatal and tragic, whoah. Depressing, Fatal that is given. Tragic, no happy memory. No glory, no meaning, just infamy and sadness. 

Ah, there is Alcatraz Island. Its difficult to see. Fog. People say one should go. However, a prison, a place where liberty is removed. Freedom is lost. A place of fights and hardest criminals. Doesn't seem to be a place that one would  want to spend time at. That idea doesn't sit well.

Blisters

Midway you feel the blisters forming at your feet. You hope that this is not an early sign of diabetic necropsy. You are reminded of the simple mistake of not taking your shoes off at the beach. Forced to wear dress shoes on your four mile journey. Oh well, it is what is. Next time you remind yourself, take your shoes off at the beach. C’est la vie. We all make mistakes.

You see walkers ahead of you, making this bridge trek. You see soccer moms and elderly matriarchs, hands pumping in hopes to make their figure youthful. Cyclist race by in spandex and helmet on head. Colorful jersey with names like Trek and US Postal speed on by. One hears the deep, heavy breathing as they pass on by. Faces sweating. Chests heaves up and down. Legs churn, propelling riders ahead.

Look to the side and see the wake of ship passing by. The ripples of water indicates someone has passed. There at the distance. A building perched on the rocks looking over the Pacific. One wonders, “Why there?” Suspect it was made to house the builders of the bridge. Must have read a snippet from the San Francisco Eyewitness tourist guidebook.

Vision Tunneled. Vision Blurred

Take photos of all around. Three hundred sixty degrees. Your insides just seem to want focus on the task at hand, not wanting to look around. Perhaps its vertigo. Head straight focusing on your destination. Check one's heart rate wondering if the pace of one's walk or one's fear of falling is causing it to race.  One looks ahead, almost there. Almost home.

Wrong Turn

Think back at the wrong turn made earlier. This is the way, one said. The structure from the gated fence. Marvel at the symmetry of the metal suspension below. The cars overhead causes the structure below to bounce like shock absorbers. Metal gates, barb wire, and video cameras—stay out and the bridge says, "I am watching you." 

Looking Back

Think back. The sailor statue looks over the bridge. Hands in pocket and tote bag to the side. Plaques of Merchant Marines, Navy, Coast Guard, and Marines encircle the distant-looking traveler. His stance connotes determination and resolve. 

The bag says this journey will take some time. There are only essentials in the bag. Stuff that one needs to carry. Not the many bags that one’s carries on a long trip. It is one sole bag, not light, but not heavy. One gets that feel that is not weighing him down. The sense of quiet determination speaks. 

Holding On to What's Important

At times, one wonders if this is the stance one needs to take in the journey ahead. Keeping the essentials at hand.  Not bogged down with emotional baggage. Just holding on to the stuff truly needed. No more worries of the past. Just shoes, pants, and a toothbrush. A good book. Perhaps a good memory here and there. Not looking back. Just look ahead. 

Quiet determined silence at the adventure ahead. May look daunting. May look distant. May feel bigger than what it is. No "May's" about it. It is big. It is distant. It is daunting. That's the fun part.

Senses On

Can still feel the blisters at one's feet. That irritating rubbing of skin and socks. Raises a lump filled with fluid. One looks to the left, then right. Remembering the statue at one's back. Cars, bicyclist, runners, walkers, surfers, oceans, signs, suspensions lines, and sea. Feel the cool ocean breeze on your face. One's heart races and one's hearing tunes in. Still one taste that energy bar earlier had for this journey. One looks back at the statue. One looks at the distance traveled. One looks at destination a few steps ahead. One smiles unintentionally as that sense of completion warms.

What's Next?

Taa Daa, Done. Finished. Excelsior. There one stands for a moment. Catching a breath. Looking around. Take a photo of the Golden Gate. Marvel at the surfers, they are close now. Underneath one's feet. A few hundred feet below. Got that vertigo again. One's mini three minute staycation complete. One sees the journey ahead. Can’t see the statue now. Too far. Its there. Can’t see it from where one's at, but it is there. Journey was tiresome. It was thrilling. It had moments of anxiety and despair. It had a wonderful view. Humor, too. Looked overhead. Looked from below. Saw the many dangers. Thought to oneself, "Let’s do it again."

Here I Go.

Building Bridges Now: Connections from the past to the future

Takes Work. . .

Building takes work. Connections take mortar, clay, steel beams, concrete, planning, mistakes, corrections, and time. The distance between here and there can be treacherous. What once was there may fall into disarray and disrepair. If it is worth the time, then people will make efforts to make that connection. This is much how people are, too. Our relationships with our fellows may need to make that same mortar, clay, steel beams, and time. 

Lesson Learned

Building on what others have done in the past is vital on who we are. We learn the mistakes others have made and try not to make them. We learn that time heals wounds, but forgetting the past also has its problems. We are liable to make the same mistakes.

Building a Legacy

Watched a Iron Man 2 this weekend. Show begins with Robert Downey, Jr. playing the role of Tony Stark, brilliant billionaire business man. He is the maker of Iron Man suit and he holds an expo with the theme of building a legacy. That of his father, his own, the world’s Legacy.

Just Standing Around Looking at the Grass. . .

Before heading to cemetery to see Rochelle and Tatay, I asked one of my nieces (actually according to Family Tree, its my first cousin, once removed) if she wanted to go. Let’s call her 3^rd gen. Anyways, I asked her if she wanted to go and she said, “Why? All you are going to do there is stand around and look at the grass and stone tablet.” Thought this was quite astute for a six year old. Tried saying it was out of respect and that we need to see those that have gone away. She answered, “They are dead. They can’t say anything.” Didn’t want to lecture or discuss metaphysical stuff of life and afterlife.  Got a bit frustrated with myself that I wasn’t able to explain to her in terms that she would understand. This was something to chew on.

Will Not Be Unturned

Well, anyways, we got to the cemetery and it was quite busy. Gardeners were trying to close the early, but Uncle John wasn’t having it. He waited patiently for them to open the gates. We still had a half hour before closing.

Drove inside. It was packed. Cars were lined up and down the roadway. I could see why they gardeners were anxious to leave.  It was Mother’s Day. Uncle John and Mom put the fresh roses and carnations in the flower holder. Dropped off the necklace, Kaprece, Kaelynn, and I made at the Relay for Life Cancer Walk.

Family Stories Being Told

There we stood around and looked around on the grass and stone tablet as my niece predicted. We talked about the upcoming family events, Chris’s wedding in three days, Uncle John’s venture to the PI for HS reunion, and Aunty Flor’s return trip back home.

Star of David

Couldn’t help think of the conversation with first cousin once removed earlier in the day, Also had a talk with Lynn, my niece. Lynn’s ten now. We were brunching with the Palmdale Fam’s at El Torito. For some reason, the conversation lead to talk about history. The conversation starter was the Star of David on my niece’s thumbnail. I talked about the mont blanc pens and the star of David on top of the pen cover. Talked about Hitler commissioned to have the best pen of the world made. (Mont Blancs run from $100 to $1000s of dollars per pen). Unbeknownst to the Nazi leader, the pen makers were of Jewish descent. They placed the Star of David on top of the cap cover and there it remains. I asked her, if she knew who Hitler was? She said, “No.”

History Is More Than Class In School

This scared me a bit. How can she not know? Maybe it’s good that she didn’t know about the Holocaust at this time. It reminded me when I asked if she knew Muhammad Ali was. She said, “No” then too. Realizing people not knowing about the past scared me a bit. Historical figures that were prominent in my growing up reminded me that we need to take to share the oral history of our past. It may be time to bring children to cemeteries to show them that the past is important.  To remind children, History is important. To remind them people before are important. To remind them to respect and understand the past. It is time to learn History is more than a class in school.

This is daunting task, but one well worth the effort. With the advent of technology, we should be able to bridge the past and the future much easier. I hope in time the children remember to be more this lesson I hope in time we are the legacy and foundation of the future. I hope that we can teach the children that cemeteries are more than grass and stone tablets. I hope that even though people shed their mortal coils, the children learn that our loved ones are still alive in our hearts.