Cycle Begins Anew. . .

Time for Change

Spending time to write this month. Making a more concerted effort. Its time to re-invent this blog. Hero’s journey seems a bit cliché-ish. It seems to run its course. Like a comic series that has finished its run. The good ones lose readership. Others re-invent itself and finds a new vein to explore. It feels this way for me. The journey that I have ventured feels a  bit tired. A long trek with various highs and lows feel like a Tour de Something.

Thing is, where should the adventure begin? What demons need to be conquered? What road should be traveled? Don’t want to head off in the deep, blue sea without a metaphorical mountain to climb or monster to vanquish. Where do want this adventure to take us?

This blog has transformed. This exploration has become one of Spiritual discovery. Used study as my vehicle of exploration however, this does not seem enough. Took courses in Bible as Literature and Philosophy of Religion. I’ve visited some Missions and seen some temples. Read more on the Judaism, Islam, and Buddhism. I’ve met with priests and watched DVDs on various religions like Mormonism, Christian Science.

Archetypes

Every new religion I’ve liked. Every new one has parts that is soul touching. I'm ready to be a proselyte. Ready to be a priest. Ready to convert. This may be blasphemous. However, is this any different reading a good book in the library? A good spy novel. A new graphic novel. Themes of falling, themes of redemption, themes of death and re-birth. These are just many stories in the holy books. In the Koran. In the Bible. In the Book of Mormons. In  Talmud. All these Heroes and Heroines battle some oppressor. 

How is any different than a good movie? Movies cite each other building on the modern mythology of cinema. Digging deeper in the old cinematic arts it seems to be revision of something already done.

New Hampshire. . .Its What's New

Today’s movies and video games are just a re-interpretation of something already done. A-Team. Get Smart. Mission Impossible. Inception (Matrix). And so on and so forth. New movies are just remakes of old comic book storylines. Avengers, Thor, Spiderman, Iron Man, Hulk, Green Lantern Fantastic Four, SuperMan, BatMan. Not saying that this is wonderful, being a former comic-philiac, it is just that there is certain ho-humness.

Guess, this alright. Certain continuity expected with all the heroic figures gracing our creative, heroic worship-sphere.  Like prophets sharing the word of the One. Like denying three times the task of evangelizing, then eventually acquiescing to the Call. Battle upon battles, conquering and losing, surviving and thriving. 

Guess it the challenge of looking at events with new eyes. Looking at the moment right here and now is the really battle. Battle of ennui. Battle of fighting corporatism. Battle of cocooning and exploring the world out there. Some people explore the past to learn  the future ahead. Some people explore the future in order to create a past. Whatever ones calling, there is a certain transitory nature that cannot be ignored.

Fires Are Good At Times

Guess, this is the reason for my adventure for exploring the past. Perhaps there is an answer that will reveal itself for a question that I have not asked yet. Maybe Shiva will come and make some much needed room for renewal. Well, this post has met its end.

Avenue N and Sierra Highway

You Remind Me of A Girl I Once Knew. . .
First time was with Chelle. It was a place where we parked. Sunroof open, heater on. Desert Sky. We sat in the dark, listened to the music and enjoyed the night.

We would sit and watch stars. Planes would take off and land. Started going all the time. Middle of the day. Late at night. Early morning. Cars would just park. Then by I'd go myself. (Its better with company) Don’t know why others would go. The reason I went, besides parking with Chelle, was because it had good energy here.

Smoke Rising. . .
This place was uplifting. People coming home. People taking off. Reminded me of landing at LAX from Boston, to see Mom and Dad. It was where journey began. It was where the journey ended. It was a place where dreams would sail to the sky.

It is said when one lights an incense candle, one should put their hopes and dreams on the rising smoke. One does this so that your dreams and wishes can be sent to heaven to be answered. Maybe that is why I sit there? To be inspired. Its a place where I can see dreams take off. Its my place to watch the sunrise. A place for having my G-time. A place to watch the planes touch down and take off. A place to watch the trains go by. Its a place of  change. A place where the journey begins.

Palmdale's Ark
Always felt comfortable in this place of change. It’s the place of excitement. It was the place of blending. It was place of discovery, a place where dreams can take off and become true. After sitting there a few times, started noticing the surroundings. One thing is the boat. One thing is the flag. One things is the plaque. All these things are just something one would not expect in the middle of the desert, but there they are.

Mojave Cross, A Place to Be Honored
Recently, the Supreme Court ruled that it was okay for the Mojave Cross be left alone. Mojave Cross--CSM article There was some court rulings that wanted the removal of the Mojave Cross. It was  placed on Federal grounds,some seventy years ago and due to the separation of church and state belief, people were fighting to have it removed. I understand reasoning why people want it removed. I understand reasoning why people don’t want it removed. Some people just don’t want such religious beliefs to be broadcasted out the universe. Some do.

Graffiti, A Cry To Be Remembered
Not comparing the Mojave Cross, with graffiti. Well, maybe, I am. It is symbolism. It is an act of recognition. It is an act to be remembered. Sometimes the means and methods can misguided.

At times, graffiti  is ugly and does not belong. Don’t necessarily think all graffiti is bad. Grafitti thoughts Call me strange. Some works are just plain beautiful. They say that art is a reflection of a society. Sometimes society is ugly.

When I see graffiti, I try to see the meaning behind it. When I see graffiti on walls, train sections, bridges, signs, I feel somewhat sad. Some say it's a mark of territory. To me, it is just a person wish to remembered. Their best option was a late night, adrenalin filled moment of temporary immortality. Instead of bringing fame, it brings infamy. They don’t care that generally society sees this as ugly. Perhaps it is a defiant call, saying "I am me and I cry out my existence."This I admire, but there other avenues.

Their Goodness Does Not Perish. . .
These undirected cries of individuality is understandable. I believe most of us don’t want to be forgotten.

I don’t know who this BJ person is, but I read an article sometime back in the Valley Press. Pretty lengthy article of this devoted person that would be at the spot, my spot, our spot doing the same thing I was doing. Just watching, parking, be inspired, I don't know. He loved this place so. He loved this place so much that some friends and family made a plaque for this him.

When visiting the cemetery to see Rochelle, Marvin, Tatay, and Mary.  I remember good moments. I remember the love. . .The Love. Their lives are a remembrance of a life lived. A moment where we shared something beautiful. Something meaningful. Something . . .It’s just love.

So when I think of the Mojave Cross, when I think of the plaque, when I write a blog post, I think that I, too, want to be remembered (Hopefully fondly). Maybe its my cry for temporary immortality.When I look at these everything I see the importance of how everything counts. Perhaps instinctively, we know there shall be an end. In time. In history, we would liked to be remembered.  Perhaps, we know, things get erased. Things return to the stardust from which we all came from. 

Let Go, Let God
So enjoy your journey. Create the pleasant memories. Some may try paint mental and emotional graffiti on your art. It happens. So to those that matter--that truly matter-- they will remember the good that you brought in the world. For those that write ugly words, just paint over it. Their view of Love and Life are already warped. They hurt. That is all that they can share with the Universe. In time, they will grow out of childish things. So leave them to find their way. When they grow up, keep your arms and hearts open. In the meantime, Move on. Your ship is sailing and you don't know where it will land. It may be on Sierra Highway and Avenue N.

Life happens so make Life Happen.

Vasquez Rocks--What's Next?

A black lab and 50 year old showed me how scared I was yesterday. After I ran out of time at the Manhattan Beach Parking lot I decided to take a different route home and I found myself in Vasquez Rocks. If you never been, watch the latest movie of the Star Trek genre. Its Spock’s home world that gets destroyed. This 905 acres of national park is named after one California’s most notorious bandits. This land lies some thirty minutes north of Los Angeles and is easily one of the most recognizable scenery in the movie industry. This is part of the San Andreas Fault. If you seen the movies or TV shows Cars (Disney), AI, Saving Grace, CSI, they have been filmed here.

For some time, I have been saying I am going to go and this day I finally did. Drove into the first parking lot and said this where I needed to go. So I started off in the nature trail, then I realized that I forgot to chirp my car. Not realizing, there was another parking lot I noticed a car with a horse trailer drive past the first gate and said. Okay, I will follow him. So I got in my car and waited. An off-road motorcyclist decided to do his repair works behind my car and didn’t realize that I wanted to go back. Eventually he left and I entered the next parking lot.

I parked and headed through the juniper bush and Manzanita. There it was the rock that I have seen a million times off the 14 freeway. I’m here again. First time I was here. I found a cave with Shelly. Ah, another time. Anyways, I ventured through. Found Horse poop and lizards. Headed to the base of the rock, I saw a lady with a baby carriage and I thought, "How odd. Why is she bringing her child here? There was no way that she would be going up this hill.

From a distance, I could see people on top of the rocks and all I could think of is this rock climbers that go up El Capitan. Ever watch that movie, Cliff Hanger with Sly Stallone, those were the people that traversed the giant  rock. Then I took a closer look, there were kids on top of the hill. I said what the heck. How in the heck are those kids getting up there. I was dumbfounded. There climb was sheer climb, and 80 degree climb and it looked like went up forever.

Heard some music in the background and I thought there is something wrong with me. There is no stereo speakers around. Maybe this is an early sign of Alzheimer. All of sudden a Black lab, brushes against my leg and I jumped. A fifty year old looked up the giant rock and started to climb. She looked back and apologized for her dog scaring me. I said, “No Biggie.” Inside my heart was in arrest. There she was brown khakis and sun hat and she was scaling this mountain of a climb.  Quarter ways her and her dog were making their way.

Upset, I placed both my blackberry and camera and pocket and headed up. If this soon-to-be retiree and her dog can get up the hill, than I better go. Otherwise I will always be doubting my personhood. Midway up and out of breath, I found a little crevice and sat my ass down. More out of breath and amazed of the 50+year old’s gall, I turned around and looked at the view.

Bad idea. I have vertigo. Don’t remember when it started happening, but when ever look down I get dizzy and easily feel uneasy. Expecting something beautiful and feeling a cathartic experience, Instead I felt seasick. The world seemed to rock. I thought, "No it’s not an earthquake. I hope." There has only been an earthquake almost every day these last couple of weeks. On this day, Honshu, Japan had 6.6 and Indian 6.0 South Indian Ocean.  6.4 Kepulauan Obi, Indonesia Saturday. Three in Chile. (Recently subscribed to USGS earthquake alerts. Signed up since Tahiti and Columbia quake)

Took some pics. Took a swig of Dasani and said, "Better turn around and head up again." Didn’t want sit too long knowing fright might overtake me. Thoughts of calling 911 for a rescue did come to my head. Learned awhile back, rock climbers would call emergency for a rescue if climbers get stuck.  For some reason, the music I heard earlier was getting louder. Started thinking do all climbers hear music when the get closer to the summit. 

Well, I no longer saw the black lab and the soon to be retiree. I did see 2 grade schoolers looking down at me. What the Fuck! My hearts racing at 140 bpm and I’m getting out of breath and these two little shits are smiling and waving at me. I do my cardio five times a week. These kids did not pass me up this mountain. What the. . . !!! This fired me up. Got up the hill and found steady ground and looked at the view again. Still a bad idea with vertigo me. I sat down pretending to stabilize myself for a picture.

I looked on the other side and saw Horses and a crowd of people. Okay, there is another parking lot. Should have followed the other cars. I look down and saw group of five huddled around what I assume was the director. All wore jeans and various t-shirts. One stood out. He was holding a broad sword wore  in a Roman guard outfit. A man stands up and he raises his arms like O Cristo Redentor in Rio De Jinero. Suddenly, in slow motion he falls back. I thought he slipped and I reached for my pocket to call 911.

Guess, this was dress rehearsal, because the group of five (Now 4) caught the falling man. I then noticed Saw Film lights and heard a generator.  Music came on and I realized this was film about the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Guess, its a sign to head to Sunday Mass at 5:30 om.

Suddenly, I heard “Anya Ah Say O.” I looked up and saw a pack of Korean ladies dressed in green shorts and tourist sun-visors, bounding up the hill. Guess, its my thing to take the road less traveled. I realized the side of the hill I climbed up was the hard way. I answered “Kum Saw Me Da.” (Its thank you I think in Korean) She nodded and bounded past. Bitches. Never felt so old and scared. Suddenly, another grade schooler was climbing down the mountain above me. "Fuck," I think to myself. The grade schooler shouts, "I got ninja skills!!!"I agree. He's climbing down the hill like Spider-man. I look up. It’s the lady with the baby stroller.

Long story short, never realized how scared.  I looked up this hill. I thought, "Where did my courage go?" During my junior high years, I showed more moxie. During my first day of school, when I walked home by myself, I showed more courage. (My parents sent after the police. They thought I might have gotten kidnapped. They didn’t know I was already at home. I walked 3 miles and got inside my home by climbing through the bathroom window. I had to pee and I had no key. Mind over bowels every time)

Looking back, I doubt that I would have gone up that rock. Weren’t for the black lab and the fifty year, I would have turned back and marked this visit off my to do list. It made me realize that I have been scared for some time. Climbing hills, false bravado, and my vertigo scared me. What other things have I been afraid to do? Just realized these Doubt Gremlins had a spell over me.   Hopefully, this Truth has freed me under this cloak of Doubt. 

One must remember that we need to overcome our own personal mountains if others are to follow. Its true, we do stand on the shoulders of giants. We must have personal courage and climb these jagged mountains if we are to move up and move on. In time, these mountains will become molehills and we look back and say, “Yeah, I did that. What’s next?”

USC Trojans--Do the Right Thing

Okay, I was starting this post before synchronicity hit. It was a good sidetrack. Prior Post was "To Dottie, Barnes and Noble. . ."

First Step of Recovery Is . . .Or Opportunity Knocking, Answer the Door
Mark McGuire, Sorry. Pete Carroll, Sad, but Glad.

That's the Gist. Hope Brevity Will Speak Volumes

Newspapers, Magazines, TV News Show, Talk Radio, ESPN Radio, Fox Sports news, MLB TV, other blogs, etcetera will undoubtedly fill in the rest.

Nutshell--Mark McGuire, Sorry. Pete Carroll, Sad, but Glad.