A life with different life choices
How would your life be different if you made different choices? Have you ever wondered what your lot in life would be if you made different choices? Would you be better or worse? What if you kissed that girl? What if you stood up to the bully in your younger years? What if you asked her to be your one and only? So many choices, made and not made. Do you ever wonder?
Could’ves, should’ves , would’ves --All a life of roads not traveled.
I used to. I wondered about the choices I made. I wondered how circumstances would be different. Now, not so much. The life I have chosen is the person who I am. Good or bad. Could have been a loving father. Should have been a loving parent. Could have stayed in Boston. Could have stayed in Palmdale and waited for my soul mate to graduate. Could have studied more. Could have gone to that party. Could have proposed.
Definitely, some things I regret. Some things I am relieved that I did. Some, I thank God I did not do. Since my CHF diagnosis, I have stopped worrying about these “what ifs?” I no longer replay the mis-steps. I no longer linger in the past. There’s no more malice in my heart. No more hurt to carry. I just Forgive and Flow. I believe God has given me and will give me whatever I want and need. I wanted a break from the job that I dreaded. I wanted to exercise more. I wanted to eat healthier. I wanted to spend more time with my family getting them to know them better. I wanted to love more and be loved. So what if it is the cost of some ejection fraction? Pills for hypertension, diabetes, etcetera—No Problem. I am okay. The price that I have paid to get the things I needed. That was fair value.
Chicken Parmesan, Thank You Tracy Esposito
Reminds me a play I once saw, Chicken Parmesan by Tracy Esposito. A nice person. Comedian from New Jersey I signed at LA Fitness Van Nuys. She invited to go see her one person play. It was a small black box theater in NoHo (North Hollywood). She played all the roles. It was her story about her mother struggle with cancer and the life changes she and her family made in this trying time. Going through my bouts of depression, tantrums, denials, bargaining—I grew. My struggles with my ailments eased by a postcard I found of Chicken Parmesan. Remembering her story brought me that “Ah-ha” moment. I accepted. I understood. I found peace. I saw the play four years earlier, four gyms ago. Cleaning up my closet and poof—Chicken Parmesan invite. I found peace. Who knew?
God, of course.
Animal Olympics, I remember your lesson.
I asked and he gave me what I needed. I have peace in my soul. I no longer carry hate or anger in my heart in my life change. I just Flow. Instead of drowning under the tidal wave, I just brought a surfboard. To all, enjoy the ride.
