While I Still Got the Time. . .

Last day of my Thirties. Its been a good ride. Been blessed with great family and friends I would die for.  Sun is shining right. Roads are wet right now from last night rains. Listening to the SHeDaisies.  Sitting here in the St Mary’s parking lot. Will be heading to 8:30 am mass. Its been some time since I’ve been to weekday morning mass. 


Lots of things have changed since last year. Lots haven’t. Precie is headed to high school soon, maybe Paraclete. Lynn is steady as always. Angelo blossoming Star Wars fan. We got him the DS Star Wars II game yesterday. He seems a little unsure, but he will find his way. Christopher and Jewel are married. Rod and Shena might be heading to PI after all. Jason is studying still. Luz is laid up. Hurt her back. Sucks. I’ve read Mike and Lani’s stuff on Facebook. Their kids are winning dance contests and the like.

Lately, I’ve been retracing some family history. Did so a couple years ago, but got bit by genealogy bug. Cousin Michelle and Aunt Mary have been updating me on much family history. There is so much I don’t know and still to learn. Scanning old photos and awards and stuff. Been Microfishing old newspapers. Sent some friend request to relatives I have never met and just recently learned. Even looked up my old friend’s birth certificate.

Made a faux pas. Got to get this “adding”, Kuya, Ate, stuff down. Sorry Minnie. Thanks Michelle for educating me. Still have a few things I’ve done and haven’t done yet that I would like to do. I’ve never seen my Father’s funeral. Its been sitting by my VCR, but I haven’t watched it yet. Learned some stuff that I never knew with talking with my mother. Also discovered that my grandfather, Itay, was POW in Korea. It helps to ask.

Been searching stuff about my half-brother Mike. He looks much like Kevin. Will go visit him soon. Not sure when, but sooner than later. This is a definite. Been making contact with some of his old high school friends on FB. Hope certain feelers I threw out will prove fruitful soon. Will head up to Arvin cemetery. Found out someone took a picture of his grave for some website. Can’t tell you how happy to discover this. Wasn't sure how I was going to find him. Got an email and phone call from Mike’s friend.

Made a family tree a couple years ago. Maybe some stuff were transposed in faulty software gremlins. Maybe I wrote it down wrong. Maybe some one misremembed.  Its been an adventure trying to retrace family history. But I am re-doing again. Been Microfishing and sending out emails.

Haven’t been writing lately because I have been in introspection. Research. Taking time percolating questions and re-examining life stuff.  On Facebook, I looked up some pictures of ex-girlfriends. Seen pictures of their kids. It made me wonder, that could have been mine. Elaine, Shell, Mandy.  Then I think, I was an Asshole.

I was wrong. Can never get time back. Never will. Got to live with this. Time is always in pursuit. Guess that's the reason for why I’ve been blogging and recording family history. Just in case. This is all I got to say about that. One of my relatives had a name change. It was not cheap and the emotional meaning behind it. . .well, it was needed. What it took to do this, I understand why and I. . .well. . .this is all I got to say about that. People in our lives that show up and have been there have messages/ answers to questions we may never knew we had.

 A few years ago, diagnosed with CHF. Tried to make conact with Em and Dana. It hasn't worked out like I wished. Life is mysterious twists in turn has its own timing. Got an email from a cousin I haven't thought about in years. Dismissed at first, then the Universe was insistent. Aunt Mary said, "I am your relative." Listen. Since then I've retracing some family history.  It kick started things that are well under way. Not sure where this road will take me, but I am game.

A family reunion is something in the embryonic stages now. Hope it pans out. I’d like to keep in the States, but if it’s the PI, I really need to bone up on my Tagolog and Ilakano. From the missteps I’ve taken, well. Much work needs to be done.

One of my favorite singer is Darius Rucker, formerly of Hootie & the Blowfish.  One song keeps coming to mind the day before BDay.

Each representin’ a million mistakes
The last one still burns, there’s a wish I can make
This time I’m getting’ it right
So I close my eyes and I take a deep breath
And I promise myself in the time I have left

No more excuses and no more me doing things wrong
Life is too short, baby, I’ve wasted ours for too long
And baby from now on

I’m gonna work like I don’t need the money
I’m gonna laugh like I’m not afraid to cry
I’m gonna dance like nobody’s watchin’
I’m gonna love while I still got the time

Mass is starting in a few minutes. To those that read, thank you. Gian, I know where you been. No words advice, but if you are longing for accolades and kudos, do something else. Fame is fickle. OctoMom was the flavor of the month. Awards, ribbons and trophies are nice to have, but the only person that you really need respect from is the one in the mirror. People like and hate you for various reasons. Leave being judged to American Idol contestants, gymnast and beauty queens. Some are known and will never be known. There is simply too much stuff out there that needs doing then worry if others click, "Like." 

I’ve got 300+ stuff on my Sharebucket list. Only have 25% done. Just take care of the six inches in front of your face. The inches we need are everywhere, but we got crawl and scratch for those six inches. (Sorry, this is from the Any Given Sunday Inches Speech) Life has a way of working itself out. To those in my life and those before and soon to come, thank you for being part of my story. Hope to play a good part in yours.