Lynn, Music Is My Sanctuary

“Music is my sanctuary. Music is my sanctuary. . . You are my living world.”

Don’t know the singer. Don't know this song. Its on Chill Out Lounge on Internet radio.

Music. Dance. Expression of the soul and body. Hearing the rhythm of the universe brings peace. 

A Dancer I Once Knew. . .

A dancer I once knew touched my heart. She touched my soul. I was never the same. I knew she was with another, my good friend. I knew it what was not right, but I loved her. People will do things they would normally not do when they are in love. They will turn their back on their best friend. They will go to Heck and back for just a moment. For a Kiss. Yeah, I was a Jodie. Sorry Mike. Good friend or not, she was my soul mate. Don’t worry, she’s married now (not me) and has a beautiful son named Michael. Guess, not right in this lifetime.

She Likes Tap

There’s another dancer in my life. Not a ballet, modern, or jazz. She likes Tap.

She’s smart. A leader. Sensitive. Strong willed. Tough on her brother and sister at times. She was student of the year. She got a gagillion awards for attendance, academic achievement, and so on. She’s going to be in the regional spelling bee in a couple of weeks. She listens to me. Doesn’t do everything I ask, but I respect that. Very independent.  Very People Savvy. Strong EQ and High IQ. Dangerous combination.  

Check Your Family Tree

She is going to be someone you will read about in the future.  I can see you as a Mayor of Palmdale in the future. You have a relative that was mayor of a province in the PI. Mrs.Alejandrea Supnet. Click to Read about her, Mrs.Supnet

She’s not even in Junior High yet. She should be. She’s so smart and fighter. Like her Dad. She was a dancer from an early age. She reminds me of my Nanay. My grandmother. Strong willed and a Closer like her Mom. Strong spirit. Take no crap.

Nose. Eyes, Throat. . .
When asked Lynn if someone tries to fight with her, she knows where to strike: Nose, Throat, Eyes. She knows what to do if someone tries to attack her, she knows to call some random name out loud.

She smart and listens. Sorry, Luz and Kev, these are things Uncles teach their nieces. Teaches to whoop some ass when called for.

(Going to change audience perspective now. Sorry, in case she reads this)

Emotions are nothing to shy away from
I do not worry about you Lynn. You are of good stock. You have a strong spirit and being sensitive is a good thing. It lets people know that you truly care and are not afraid to show and share your emotions. This is something to never be ashamed of.  Like your sister, you are going to do great things in your lifetime.

Just don’t be so tough on your brother and sister. They love you, too. Plus, I showed them the eyes, nose, throat thing, too. Dor still doesn’t get the elbow thing yet. Hopefully, it will take. You may need to remind him.

Don’t forget, Dor is a Master Jedi. Yoda, will use the Force on you, but you have a strong mind. It won't effect simple minds. Remember this at BJs

I wrote about your sister.  Said she is my Hero. You are, too. Lynn you weren't born yet. This is what I remember. Click Here

I am jealous of your relationship with your sister. It’s tight. Like it should be.

Don't Forget. . .
When you get older, remember that you are loved. Remember  when in a fight, use an open fist--cupped--to the . . .well you know. Remember, being tough should tempered with tenderness. Your are just ten now, but life will get faster as you get older. I just wanted to put these thoughts and wishes down before time much time passes by. You have a great family. A great mom. A great dad. A great nanay. Great sister and great brother, too.

Listen to the Rhythm
Don’t stop dancing, too. You will touch someone’s heart and he will be affected for the rest of his life, like I have been by another dancer. Your soul mate is out there. Just wait until after college to meet him.  Maybe you will have better luck than I have. Timing is everything. If not in this lifetime, in another.

Don’t forget Music is a sanctuary. Listen to the rhythm of the Universe (Trust in Her. She will take care of you) Your heart is strong. Keep it open. Even to the tough stuff. It will make your stronger for other stuff. It gets harder in the future. I forgot this for a time. I learned it again. Remember sometimes people are not so smart. It's okay. It passes.

Lynn, when you become Mayor of the city. your Uncle Loves You. If you don't become Mayor, I Will Love Always You. Now and Forever. Thank you letting me be your Uncle.

His name is Vince

Birthday Coming Soon
It’s my childhood best friend’s birthday in a couple of days. We haven’t talked in years. We lived next door and he was good man from what I remember. Intelligent, a voracious reader. Good family, great friend. 

He was a better friend than I ever was to him. His ex- girlfriend tells me to keep Hope. Have patience. I do. I will. Don’t worry about that. Can’t change the past. Can’t undo things I’ve done and didn’t do. Many birthdays have passed since we last talked. Sixteen I think. Four Presidential elections ago. Four Olympics ago. 16 graduating classes has passed since we last spoke.

Can’t ask him to be my friend again. It’s not something that I think is feasible nor reasonable. Much time has passed. Much life has been missed. Much has been forgotten. Much has not been forgiven. Can’t say I blame him. I was not so good person for a time.

He knew me when I was not a good friend. He was still a friend despite my stupidness.

I don’t know how he is anymore. Don’t know how he’s been. Don’t know who he is.

Better Times

Joshua Hills. Making forts in the desert. Swimming in his pool. Arthur. Winfield Scott, Arcade games. Gatorade and Jack Daniels. Reading the Dragon trilogy, Raistlin and Tas. AV Mall and Walden Books.  Denny’s with the Zebra. . .Well Much has passed. My Bonsai tree died, too. Time has moved on. As it should.

Can’t step in the same river twice.  

It’s your birthday soon. I hope you and your other have a blessed day. I hope you have a blessed life. 

Lisa, don’t worry. My heart is still open. My head is too hard to give up Hope. If not in this life, then the next.  Lisa, you are right, we got to live with decision we make. No regrets. A bigger plan is out there. Sometimes we are too small at the time to see the big picture. Faith in others makes us have faith in ourselves.   

Love unconditionally. I do. I send my love to him, to you, and to yours.

Memorial Day: I Hear You, Dad

Just finished DVD. Taking Chance. Its movie about a fallen Marine named Chance. It was a story about a Marine military analyst, played by Kevin Bacon, that volunteered to take back Chance home to his parents. It was a story about how ordinary people not knowing this fallen soldier would display acts of kindness and respect. A airline attendant bumping the escort to first class, a flight attendant giving a crucifix to the escort, the flight line standing in respect, and so on.

Memorial Day is a week away. Can’t help think of my own father. He was a Marine. He passed away too. He’s in the Philippines now. I have never seen his funeral. It has been tucked away for some time. Still haven’t watched it. Not really ready too. It has been several years and I still haven’t. My brother has a giant cross tattoo on his arm. For some time, I never knew it was my Father. 

Did not leave on good terms with my Dad and it has always bothered me. He was a smart, intelligent man. A Closer, too. A Dreamer. Passionate. Driven. Strong. Courageous. Hard-Headed, too. I get that from him. I had some issues with him that I am not ready to share. I think of him often. I pushed out of my head for awhile. Some things I needed to do. I have Forgiven him for stuff that happened, but I haven’t given him the respect I believe need to do. As a young man, I didn't see things the way he did. He was my Dad. He loved my Brother and he said somethings that were very inciteful. Looking back I wished that I listened more. He brought me places. He taught me things. 

Was angry with him for some time. I was angry at myself for not being there for him. Blamed him for stuff. Some stuff was warranted. Others not. He loved me. I know this now. I have always known. He was no saint. He had his faults. Like all of do. Myself included. 

I sense his presence now and then. He's watching over me. Thank you for giving me the freedom to me. I remember the things you have written. They still mean the world. I am proud of you, too.

Think of my half-brother Mike. Did know know until I was eleven years old. He had another son. Made some attempts to find out where he is buried. Its fallen on deaf ears. Going to push the issue soon. Just will have to do this alone.  I think it is something that needs to be done. Its not me, but I think its my Dad’s spirit that has been nudging for awhile. I get this feeling that I need to do this for my Father, our Father.

Don't know why I chose to pick up this DVD, but I did. Don't know why I decided to watch it, but I did. I believe now I know why I did these things. Thanks, Dad, I am listening.

Next Monday is Memorial Day and I believe that I need to pay a visit. Need to say, Hello to Marv and Mike. Need to say Hi to Tatay. 

Tatay watches Rochelle. Marv is with Mary at Riverside National. My father’s son is in Arvin somewhere. My father is in the PI. Never said goodbye. I am sorry for that. 

Well, to those that have stepped up in the military. Thank You. Thank you Russell, Michael Crescitelli, Ricky Christiansen, Uncle Robert Barr, Tammy’s ex, Brandon, Terri Jones. Thank you for everything.

Marv and Tatay I will visit you soon.

Dad, I love you. You are missed. I still pray for you. I will bring you with me to see Mike.