Hold My Hand. . .

"Hold my hand. . .We can change the world. I want to love you the best I can. . ."

Memories of good times. Memories of time yet to happen. I am thinking of you, “Holding my hand.  I want to love you the best, the best that I can. Best I can.”--Darius Rucker.

Goatee, Teeth Picker. . .
Sitting here in Zona Rosa café. Spanish music playing in the background. Green, red, and white plastic flags overhead. Three guitars in the corner. Three well-used greenish, yellow sofas. White paisley prints. One is being occupied with a man wearing a dark blue timberland pullover. He is deep in thought. Keeps picking at his teeth. Why? Don’t want to ask. He has the big, thin light brown moleskin, too. Arms folded back, behind his head. Running his hands through his brown hair. Goatee guy, I call him.Clipboard on his lap. Blue Sony vaio in front of him.

Runner Lovers

Three ladies sit to his left. Lady in pink jumpsuit sweater. Book in hand. White IMAC on her lap. Legs crossed.  Grey and yellow Asic Gels on her feet. Tiny, loop earrings. Brown, maybe auburn hair. Reminds me of Elaine, but not really. Not a dancer’s physique. More . . . not her. Runner, perhaps? 

Next to her is the lady with dark brown hair. Short hair. Kind of Marissa Tomei-ish. Yet, not really. Soft voice. Bagel sits on the left arm of her funky chair. Necklace gold is understated. Small. thin with a tiny amethyst draping her neck. Between them is a wooden maple-stained desk. Lady in pink has black glasses on the desk. Next to her, tupperware. Marissa has her mocha frap to her left. Both of them are siting in what looks like comfortable, orange mad-hatter chairs. Unusual, in they have huge chair backs.

In front of the two is a lady with a grey hoodie. Her chair is brown. Short in a tiny pony tail in back. Near the base of her head. Dark Honey Brown is her hair color. Looks comfortable, relaxed. She is wearing a red, not pink, headband. Band covers her ears. I can only see her back. Orange umbrella is at her feet. She has runners shoes. Grey with blue streak. Puma, I think. Definitely, not Nike or Reebok.  Runner, probably. Wearing some Levis denims. Deep in thought, reading something. Coffee table is empty. Its maple stained.  Green windbreaker is to her right on the floor. Next to the empty glass mug. Not a tea. No, tea bag like mine. Guessed right. Sweater read in Maroon block letters, "Northwestern Cross-Country."

Saints Outside the Window

An older couple is in front of me, by the window. I can see palm tree out the windows. Three sombreros are overhead. Two at the corners and one in the middle of the wall, over the window. Raining outside still. A white, meshy curtain is tied in sections. Windows have metal guard. An iron wrought of some sort outside. It has curls and what looks like the points of the New Orlean Saints Emblems. They play tomorrow. Super Bowl Sunday. I’d like to see them play. But they are playing Manning and the Colts. Supposed to be a classic. On ESPN, they used John Madden video game to project the winner of the game. Saints won on that one. I like Brees and Bush. The city would be jumping. Anne Rice's hometown team. Also, like the Colts, though. My first football jersey I got was Manning's. Peyton one of the best QB's in history. Still have it. Still wear it. Used to be snug. Now, not as much. Thank Nike+ sensor and my like to win.

Learning From Others. . .

Cafe Zona was a suggestion from the lady of the bookstore. I asked where she would go. It was two floors, two stories. I was sold.  Getting the insight of someone’s else experience, likes and dislikes. Asked the lady that gave me tea. Earl Grey, African something. And Jasmine bags. Tea bag--Jasmine, is the glass mug next to me. Waiting for the photos to come out. Its my journey to see the author Anne Rice. Got here a couple hours early because I was up and it was raining and it was fun. Been taking a few mini-adventures lately. Sometimes in the company of family. Sometimes its journey by myself.

Hold my Hand. Hold my hand. I want to love you the best I can. 

Em, you are not with me, but I think of you often. I want to love you the best that  I can.

Capturing these moments and putting it out to the Blogger Universe. Just trying to find a thought that comes to mind. Another Hootie line.

Goatie Guy packed up and left. Think I will do the same soon. Laptop battery is dying and I want to post this up before I head to Rice’s signing at the Vrooman across the Colorado Blvd street.

Raining outside. Landslides. Boulders. Floods in were on the news report on the radio. Food show was pre-empted for storm watch. 

If the sun comes out tomorrow, let her be. . .

I know not where this adventure takes me. I know it has been a good one so far. Lately, parts of my life have come full circle. They have come home. Open arms. Open hearts and at times closed ones, too. I sent a couple of friend requests to old friends. Maybe they clicked "Ignore." I don't blame them. It is what it is. Hurts, but. . . Maybe they haven’t facebooked in awhile. Maybe they are not ready. I know the feeling. I’ve been in a cave for some time. Want forgiveness, give it. Need time, give it, too.

“If the sun comes tomorrow, let them breathe.”

Em, I love you.

"Last night I tried to leave. She was the same girl I fell in love a long time ago. . .I sat down and cried."

May be if you read this, maybe you can see what I see. Maybe you can understand. Maybe you can let me in your heart and . . .hold my hand. If the sun comes out tomorrow, let her be. . . 

You Walk Alone, Sometimes. You Ask For Help, Sometimes

Got up. Got out. Gone. That was this morning. Went to bed early last night. Sporadic insomnia I think I'll call it. Woke up at 2 in the morning. Fell back to sleep again. Woke up at 4:45.  Back to sleep. Decided to finally get out of bed at 6:10. Morning sunrise was 6:47 and I needed to Sh*t, Shower and Shave before going to the Hospital.

14th Dalai Speaks

Before I knew it, I was in my morning spot. G-Time. Sunrise was covered by heavy clouds. It covered the morning sky. Glimmers of light were north, but the Sun was hidden. Yet, I know it’s there.  Faith is the belief in something is there despite any tangible evidence. Decided to take a road different today. It felt right. Saw dirt, desert, and tumbleweeds. An unusual combination in the Antelope Valley.  Had the Dalai Lama on the stereo. Book on CD is called the Universe In A Single Atom. Read by Richard Gere. 14th Dalai Lama

Crosses On Side of the Road, I've Seen My Share

Took some blackberry pics of the sunrise; it’s on Facebook. Also, took a picture of 4 crosses on a corner. It was on the corner of 70^th and Avenue M or N. Sad, but . . .  As an auto claims adjuster, I’ve seen my share of totaled cars. Writing now. Could that be. . .4 crosses? I wonder if that was my neighbor’s son?  Hmmm. New Crosses, not weather beaten. Another time.

Couldn’t help think of the movie I did not watch yesterday. Had my back to the Tv while it was playing. I was making up for the Lost Blog. The movie was Contact with Jodie Foster, Contact. If you don’t know, pick up the DVD. It seems to get better every time I see it.  

Front Row--They're Blind and I Can't Hear

First time, I saw it was at Movies 22 in Lancaster. Saw with Shelly’s family when it first came out. Both were legally blind. They had some vision, but Shelly’s mom, whose name escapes me, was constantly asking what was happening. A bit annoying at times, I was trying to hear dialogue of the characters. Personally had trouble. We sat in the front row. My neck still ache thinking about it. They didn’t like the movie. I think they felt unsatisfied. I enjoyed it.

Jodie Foster played a brilliant scientist with great drive and deep passion. Both parents died and this affected her emotional makeup deeply.  She worked on the SETI project and had to go through many incredible trials that would have broken most men. Yet, despite these heart-wrenching, motivating-stealing events, a course of purposeful accidents found her on this mission of discovery.

". . .Accept Her Story On Faith"

What stuck with me was this exchange with National Security Advisor Kitz, played by James Woods, and Ann Arroway (Jodie Foster). During a Congressional Committee investigation, Kitz the chief interrogator berates Arroway. Faced with mounds of evidence stating that nothing happened on her multi-year, multi-billion dollar six-second journey, Arroway remains hesitatingly steadfast. Arroway claims her adventure was an 18 hour journey to an unknown planet through cosmic “wormholes.” Kitz asks condescendingly, how can the world accept her personal accounts--traveling through the universe and conversation with an alien beings--when the rest of the world saw static. Despite all of the evidence to the contrary,  Arroway admits the lack of evidence to support her perception of the events, but maintains the validity of her story. She ask people to accept her story on Faith. Not an easy personal concession for Arroway.

Roadside Angel Has A Goatee and Drives a Salmon Truck

I have been going through a journey on Faith myself, my own Hero’s quest. Yesterday, left my car lights on while I was paying the water bill. To my benefit, my car would not start. Ordinarily, I call Roadside Assistance and wait an hour for my Triple A heroes to come.

Yet, today was different. I don’t like asking strangers for help, but today was different. Not that I am afraid to ask, I was in sales. Its just I like to do things on my own. No problem giving help because it makes me feel good. However, I said somewhere that one needs to let others be heroes. Changed my ways and chanced it. Decided to take my own advice.

I asked the man two parking spaces away for a jump. He just arrived. He was in a salmon colored truck. Not someone I would normally not ask for help, but today was different. He was wearing black sunglasses on a cloudy day. Weird? Thin and wearing white thermals, his dark glasses gave an ominous feel. That was until he smiled. His helpful demeanor relaxed me. Weathered, leathery sun-red face and his thin white goatee beamed warmth. Don’t know if he was supposed to be there for me, because I saw no one get out his salmon-colored truck. He just parked.  After jumping my car, he left. An angel in waiting?

Fighting Laundry Monsters, Get Help
I dunno. I am not proposing to ask strangers for assistance on dark, cloudy day. I am just saying Let yourself be helped. Allow others to be heroes. The weight you are carrying is not yours alone. The Cross you bear can get lighter if you ask for help. In other words, Let them help with the laundry monster, Lisa.