Turn a Different Corner . . .

Tibetan Book of Dead. Reincarnation. Multi-Generational process. Do you know your purpose in life? Have you answered that calling that burns inside of you? Do you know your own life question?

It has been said the people are close in our lifetimes are the ones we have been close many lifetimes. Think about your best friend right now. Is there or has there been something always familiar you have always felt with that person?

I think of Shazam, Elaine, and Brian.
Elaine is my soul mate. No, doubt in mind. She was the one. I knew her before I knew her. I was drawn to her. I knew not why, but from the moment we were friends, I knew she was the one. Just wasn't for this lifetime, but for many lifetimes. Shazam--my life was missing something for many years. We lost contact for years. We reconnected. Brian, my next door neighbor, growing up was somebody I sorely missed and still miss.

It is said we have these connections with great friends and terrible enemies. The threads of life are so intertwined that we keeping meeting until we get it right. We keep meeting, doing the same thing, playing the role over and over again. We keep having these chance encounters until we do it right. Think Robin Williams, What Dreams May Come. Robert Downey, Jr and Chances Are.

Sometimes, these connections are with someone we passionately hate. Do you know of anyone that just always seem rub each other the wrong way? It probably is some past life karma. These connections are enemies for life. Well, it could be for life or until you decide to fix and resolve these past sleights.

In our Hero's journey we have the significant others that we can count on to love--to hate--to be connected. Through thick and thin, we stay with these friends. An accidental sleight can turn our most trusted compatriots to our most detested enemies. Reed Richard and Dr. Doom. Peter Parker and the Green Goblin. Charles Xavier and Magneto. Close friends became are most rivaled enemies. I sleighted my closest friend and he hates me with a passion. I apologized to him in an email and I fear his hate and anger for me are still very deep. I have not heard any word since. Sometimes these relationships are of loved one's lost. A road that turned a different corner. Lancelot du Lac, Arthur Pendragon, and Guenevere. Jean Grey, Scott Summers, and Logan. It was Elaine, Michael, and Me. Good friends turned by rivals because of Love.

These stories have been told over and over again. Players have changed, but the game remains the same. Turn a different corners and we would have never known and met. I thank these times when we risked and were rewarded. I risk and flow. I imagine the reward of meeting an old friend for the very first time.

Watching Rain From the Bottom of the Pool

Raining outside. Nice though. Watching the raindrops hit the pool. I remember swimming when it was raining. Quite a sight. The glass ceiling would dance with drops of rain. It was like watching a meteor shower dance overhead. Yet, it wouldn't hurt. Watching the sky have stream of water hit all around you. Its quite a sight to see. May sound strange. I would love to do it more often, but. . .I don't know. Its cold. Pool is 38 degrees and the layer of body fat that would keep me warm is happily thin. I suppose I could have the hose and sprinkler set go while I was swimming, but it would not be the same. Not as random, too planned. Just letting the Big Smile do his thing. Watching the rain hit the pool is something to be in awe. I was more courageous when I was younger--or dumber--either way. I feared having thunder strike when I was in the pool. The fascination of just watching the glass ceiling over head just be bombarded with rain droplets was enough to brave the cold. I sit in the house, windows open. I sit watching the rain drops hit the pool. I imagine and remember the beauty and simplicity of something so wonderful.

I prayed yesterday. Actually, I pray more often. My niece and God daughter Kaprece performed well at her gymnastic competition. Seeing her complete her beam routine and watching her sigh with relief at its completion brought me joy. It was like watching rain from the bottom of the pool. Its was so simple yet my heart filled with so much joy. I get it when I watch Star Wars with Angelo. Sitting on the bed, he is holding his DS and watching Master Yoda do his thing. It is like watching Kaelynn dancing on stage.

I saw one of Em's artwork. It was a tree with a man. It looks like Jesus with trees coming out its body. A tree and its limbs are growing out of the long-haired man's body. He is wearing a watch or a wristband in his right hand. Can't see his face. His hair covers his face. In his hands, he is cradling a bonsai tree. Hunched over a tree is growing out of his body. I felt a joy for Emi is talented, quite artistic. It was not the same joy because I have not shared in that experience. It is world I am not a part of but I sorely need to be. I her pictures and smile, but it is happiness that is not fully experience. It is an artificial joy. An artificial-ness due to my own undoing. I hope someday, she will forgive me. I hope someday that I will be able to share those moments. So many moments I missed. It is like watching rain drops from the bottom of the pool. So beautiful. So amazing. So close. Not enough courage to bare the cold. i hope sometime soon before the clouds disappears that I will be able to brave the cold and just enjoy the beauty again. I pray that I will have one more chance to be with her. I hope someday she will forgive me.

There is so much beauty there if i would just jump in and bear the cold. Em, be well. I hope some time you will get the chance to see what its like to watch rain from the bottom of the pool. Its beautiful. Cold. Take the risk and jump in. Its worth the sight. I pray that I will build the courage to jump again. I know its worth it. Rain please don't go away. I missed so much I do not want to miss anymore.