So its late. Its been awhile since I put thoughts to keys. Long has its been since I wanted to share. Haven't been feeling open. Perhaps its been my reluctance to have the stuff out there. Perhaps its the fear of not so nice people. Perhaps its the fear of being understood and the reluctance of ill advised choices.
Its been in the news about football cuts in the NFL. Its been in the news that Josh Shaw USC scandal. Its just a bad choice that is being made public. Its the high school and youth football. This struggle of two opposing teams. Both equal and unequal. Both fighting and losing. Both smiling and sighing. What has been concerning me? Its these things are what pushed me to put thought to keys.
Today was game day for the Gremlins. They won. Defense was strong. Offense played well. Watching these six and seven year getting yelled at and praised. Under the hot sun, shaded by the blue tent. It was exciting and fresh this morning. Having the kids and parents whooping and hollering for the Grid Iron babies.
Night before at Friday Night Lights on Riewer Field, the crowds were rowdy. Beber, McIntyre, and the rest of varsity were dominant. Crowds got bored shouting stupidity. Mostly rabble rouser wanting to be different. Far from the cries that played this morning. For some, it would be their last season, their last game. They just don't know it. Soon they will be transitioning to adulthood. No Longer they will they be huddling. No longer doing Up Downs. No more ladders and sprints. Stairs will be for the next set. The new Gen.
This transition. This changing of the times. Holding on and letting go. "Being A Part" and "Being Apart"
I still have the same Hopes and Angst. Same Haunts and Hurts. Same Loves and Lows.
Don't know what future holds. I worry some and fear. Yet, I know there are new ones, too. Possibilities yet to be imagined. Having the Leap of Faith made. Divine intervention. Juxtaposition. All those possibilities. . .
Yet, at the end of the game. Both sides line up and shake hands. They congratulate each other for a game well played. Coaches smile in victory and the share words of wisdom and console in their loss. In the end, we look back. We smile of well played moments. We sigh and cringe at those moments where we weren't so good.
We close our eyes and remember. We savor that moment of what could be. We close our eyes as the sun sets. We hold on to that countdown as it reaches 0. We close and remember. To do that again.
I close my eyes and say, "Again, Please."
These ramblings are disjointed and awkward, but I am okay with that. Its a part. Tough, but an important one. Those reluctances, those fears, those doubts and misgivings--I understand. I say again, "Again, Please."
This Hope. This Struggle. This Never Ending. Life is a powerful Force. It loses at times and yet. It says, "Again, Please." Saying "Yes" means "Choice." It means get up again and again and again. When Lambs become Lions. It means there is more. It means I can be and will be more. With less, I remember. "Yes, Again. Please."
Tomorrow is Game Day.
