Come Full Circle

Not one for editing of late. Just go with the Flow and have it out there. Mistakes and all. No question that some edit would provide a better read. Crying out the story of the day. However, life isn't like that. We make mistakes and we move on. Hopefully in time the lack of editing will not be too life altering.

However, time is not too forgiving. Wouldn't and shouldn't have it any other way. Life is not always romantic. It is not a story that always have a happily ever after. Hard thing is this to remember that it can be better than what is expected. It is easy to tumble down the path of the Dark Side. However, one doesn't want be too naive. Life is not Disneyland.

This balancing act of Hope and Reality. Read the obituary of a good guy. Went to school with him, but was never close. Ran around in different circles. He brought "Her" to a house party once. This friend who passed through different circles. She was the crush/ girlfriend/ and best friends of people in my circle. That night we never hooked up. Kissed but nothing on the next level. Just didn't make it there. She reminded me of Glitter.

I was never close to him, but what I knew. He deserved a Disney story. Good guy gets the girl. I didn't know him like that but from what I knew that was enough. How do you write about a person you barely knew? But know in your gut that he was a good guy. Good guys should be shown the Kwan. The Love, the Respect, the total package. (Jerry Maguire reference) His life should be honored.

Wish lots of people were like that. I believe that generally most people are good and would act with the noblest of intentions. However, imperfect information and lapses of judgment leads down a different pathway much different than one imagined when they were younger. We turn a different corner and we never would have met.

Witnessed a troubling event a moment past. Separated Dad having issues with his youngest. Harsh words were said and poor communication were exhibited. When does one step in? When does one butt out? Situations could escalate at the drop off a hat and tragedy could ensue. However, when does one encroach in events that are not their business? When does one interfere in the parenting of another? When blows begin has been one rule.

Another life changing situation. He asked with good in his heart, "Does your friend want a gun?" His Father was doing bad things that a parent should never do to his sister. Not sure what happened next but His Father met his demise in prison or an overdose. I've got no sympathy for such monsters. Let Heaven bring justice.

I feel for this person because I have witnessed betrayal of trusts of family and friends.When does one involve another with marital relations of friend. Do you tell the person there is infidelity

Life is not a Disney movie. It is rough and terrible at times. Like a firecracker that goes astray, causing a home to be destroyed. Was informed that neighbor of a family member's died today. An Angeles Crest Highway crash. Four hundred feet off the side of the road. Severed arm. Contrasting reports. Police rolled up to tell the mother her child was gone. Later co-workers stop and say the daughter is alive and in a coma. Mother unsure if daughter is dead or in a coma. Not the first time police have been to this house in two years. OD, car crash, coma, and stroke. Rough.

Life is unforgiving. In a moment, gone. So when I start off talk about a lack of editing and a classmate's passing, when I talk write about a child's home life disruption and a crash of family member's neighbor, I write to remind us despite all these tragedies that the hardest thing is to keep the Faith. Hardest thing is to not to lose Hope of the person standing next to us. Hardest things is to believe in a better future, despite all evidence showing otherwise.

Yesterday, Fourth of July there almost 200 people for Precie's birthday. Lots of people showed that we never knew. Just looked familiar. Pool was crowded. Food was plentiful and drinks were flowing. Warm for a summer's day. Carried almost 400 lbs of ice yesterday. Family, friends and strangers all coming over to share in this country's and my niece's 16th birthday. I am reminded that 16 years ago that I was headed back after an hour in Vegas because there was complications of her first birthday. Born a premie and living in plastic incubator for the first few weeks. Saw my Brother cry. He never cries. Watching that helicopter take her away. I am reminded that Disney stories do happen. Good things happen all the time.

Because of these celebrations I am reminded that there is a plan. I am reminded that Angels guard us and protect us. Guiding us to where we need to be despite our limited vision of possibilities. I will try not write well-wishing platitudes because it would be unrealistic. However, won't dismiss that miracles happens. It was said that Don Quixote was defeated by a mirror. I believe it is mirror that reveals a Miracle. In one's passing people can be surrounded with family and friend. With that, I would be okay with just that.

So. . .

Waiting for the program to run its course.

Time elapsed as names rise up and fall. Checked for healthiness of its existence. Cleaning up, rooting up potential threats--All in the hopes things are alright. Hope is what gets its through. Some naivety that it is doing what its supposed to do. Constantly bombarded by malintentioned bits. Like an opportunistic bacteria, that finds an opening of the largest organ of the body. It hopes to colonize and franchise itself in a host. Hoping to spread itself in an unsuspecting host. If it were possible to man for every readiness that one faces, but its not.

They are airborne and negotiated through the mucus and follicles designed to trap them. They hide in the water that we thought was purified. Attacking the lining of inner workings of the host. It inserted like the horse of Troy. A gift with ill will. A backhanded compliment that engenders pride and stupidity. "Usually I don't like the trashy look, but you make it work."

Foolishness that allows these things to hurt. Often avoidable. Often self-inflicting. Yet one cannot be defended all the time. Life will not allow it. We become tired. Exhausted. Overloaded that we at times say, "Enough." Going on a vacation. Need a breather.

At times, this step back is alright. Energies are renewed and future looks brighter.

Yet. . .Who hates this word, Yet?

So breathe and painfully wait. We wait for the program to run its course and Hope the defenses in place have halted all would be attackers. We hope the program set up has done its job. It has protected the house and vanquished all would-be Dark Siders. We wait as the heat is turned up destroying those with ill. We allow some attackers to be attentuated so as to learn and develop new programs of these would be attackers. We develop thicker skin to deaden the areas that makes vulnerable. We have thorns around the heart to remind us and protect us from the love that is there. A rose has these sharp attachments around its neck that deter the careless and reckless.

Yet. . .This word again. It allows the heart to be. A sharp pain to remind us that there is an impermanence. A reminder to Love again. A reminder to protect those close because they will grow up and move on. A reminder that we must do be a constant reminder of Love when you are gone. A reminder that you are never gone and will be always there in spirit.

So we let the program run its course. We allow the good and halt the bad. As best we could.. We move because this is life. Fighting entropy as the world continue to change. We search balance and structure because we know this is impermanent. Watching those around follow a program that ultimately will meet entropy and will need to be reborn. Its okay

Its okay for things to fall. . .To Rise. . .To Hurt and Cry. Its okay to Suffer for a minute.

Why because these are Impermanent. Because We Rise and Rise again. We Love and Laugh again. In a moment a good long moment, We smile.

Its part of the program. Its part of the course. So. . .