Come and Go

Winds are blowing outside. The shades are banging against the window. Neighbors next door are all gone. Their stay was short-lived. A couple weeks ago they had a party. Father and son had some beef. He was heavily intoxicated and kept wanting to punch his adult son. Its funny because the son was the mature one here. Older heavier kept saying I am going to kill you I am going to kill you I am going to kill. If he weren't so liquored up I would have been calling the police.

However, someone else had the same idea. A few minutes later, after the "Dad" (and I say this loosely) had his stint of running up and down the street at 2 in the morning, Black and Whites rolled up. The way the "Dad" had his hands up and laid on the ground, it was pretty evident this was not his trip to the circus.

Not long after that, the renters next door had UHaul up front and they were gone. It was not the first incident these neighbors had. A week prior, it was a the live in girlfriend and her sister going at it. Screaming and shouting. Cat calls here and there. its been an exciting stint for this family. This Jerry Springer Puff Out Their Chest behavior is a bit laughable. Better this than gunfire, I guess.

What is there more to say? Crows that nested in the neighbor's roof are gone. More than once I found the crows sitting in front of the house just chilling on the front porch. Gave them some bread, but it wasn't enough for them to stay. Think they needed to spread their wings are see the world. Lately whenever I see crows fly overhead, I wonder if its them.

It's amazing at times to see what life has to offer. One moment neighbors are here. Then they are gone. Like that song dust in wind. These winds of change are what they are. We can Flow and see what the Big Smile has presented us. Taking these moments of the good and bad. Finding the meaning of the people in front of us. We look and see a glimpse of their story. Not knowing their entirety. Just a snippet. Here I try to be less judgmental and try to look with softer eyes, Giving people the benefit and just be ready to where the Big Smile needs us to be.

I think this why I like the statue of the Oblation. Arms outstretched. Head back. the whole body just basking under the loving Sun. It feels like a person is being carried up to some joyful place.

Until then, I will just enjoy the blowing wind and smile.

She is Sleeved

Blue and purple her hair. Her right arm is sleeved with bright purple and blue flowers. Her left has various symbols. Her lower lip has a silver bar. Her face is stoic and serious. She's been taking Zumba lately. Haven't seen her before in class. Except for Yoga. She's well versed here. Doing stands, bending like pretzel. She has a seriousness about her that is a bit intimidating. She can dance some. Not a ballerina or modern dance. She has skill. Definitely an athlete before. Maybe she's taught classes. I am not sure yet. Gymnastics maybe? Swimmer, I don't know. She's in her zone. At times I feel there is a barrier.

Seems Japanese in a way. She's there but is somewhere else. She cordial and respectful. But one can sense she is deep somewhere else. Being a place where no one can invade her privacy. It is said prisoners are not really imprisoned because their mind and spirit are always free. This body is just a shell of the real being inside. I think she gyms it to escape and be around people.

Maybe that is why she is decorated as so. Perhaps desiring attention, but imprisoned somehow. Not really verbal and social as other femmes I have seen. Not needing to form friendships and bonds. Perhaps she incredibly social. Perhaps she leads many, but I don't think so.

Reason I say she might be a gymnast or swimmer. Its because these activities require only themselves. She is focused and shielded. She hits the weights. She jogs on the treadmill. She takes Group X classes. She is a mystery.

Still. . .

I like her fluorescent hair and how she dances. So I will admire from a distance. I would ask her story, but I respect that need, Get in get out go home. Do work in the gym and find solace.

Many join to the gym to find quietude. To find space and separation from a busy home life. A brief respit from the daily goings-on of family. Driving to school, cook meals, driving to kid's practice, cleaning, and other household duties. I find places like the gym, it is a place to re-energize. This is why I enjoy coming and why I respect people zones.

So maybe, well, see what life presents us.

Ready or Not

Its been too long since I last wrote. No reason except its been too long. Got in the habit of not. A precarious road we all fall victim. Yet, like all good comeback stories, it begins with a single step. So I write tonight. On this warm night. Fan is blaring trying to keep the room cool and I sit here on the exercise ball tapping on the keys. For a bit I was taking pictures galore. IG, 365, FLickr. Created albums on FB. Now I write.

How did I get here? At first I took pictures to give story quality, to give it depth. To fill the need of the visual. To put picture to my filters of life. Did so I can economize my words and have people understand the thought process.

Now my laptop’s memory is full and I just want to write.

Ms. Blume I hope life is treating you well. I miss the writing class at the Rock. Having assignments to fulfill. Letting the words come and to share. Now as I have always known, its my agenda. Its my pace. Its my stories that need writing. Having some organization and deadline was always nice, but the stuff that needs to come out. . .Well, it’s a force onto itself.

My story. . .Been visiting the new InShape down the street. I reminded of a chapter of my life. Open to close at the desk. Trying to build memberships. Negotiating with customers. Watching the politics of dirty sales, keeping the business a flow. Met up Ms. Franco. My first Hip Hop instructor. She came up to me after Athena’s class. Said, “I know you.” Its funny the day before I was talking with T. She’s hands down the best instructor I have ever had the pleasure. Energetic, well cued, improvisational. It was like walking into yesterday.

How life has journeyed. I wonder at times if in a past life, am I living with what was comfortable? Is the issues and propensities just layovers from an earlier one. For instance, why is the story I am working on have the meanings and themes that it does. It draws me.

“Lights are happy” those were my first words when. . .Then seeing the pictures from Darrell’ funeral. The White light in Angeles Forest. The picture of Glow at Bright Angel Point. Cloud formation.

Don’t want to dismiss this or belittle the significance. Don’t want to ignore that it could be mental. However, the clues—the signs—says something. How can I dismiss when Precie took her first flight? How can I ignore the astronomical coincidence of Em and Fury’s relationship with the Lab? How can one dismiss these incidents? It would be unlikely and unremarkable to leave these things to chance. It would be disrespectful to explain it away to Luck.

Dali Lama is said to be a soul from its previous Dali Lama. These stories of past lives and OBE just seems to common to just be coincidence.

So these issues and dramas we face, is it the recycle until we get it right? Is each soul new or retread from past? These lives that we live, are these the extension of ones before hand. Ghosts, spirits, souls—to think we are just the chemical reactions of stardust. The natural selection. The happy accident. Is it the mechanism of our reality? Luck is real. Karma and Samsara is proven to me.

So I write for clarity. For ideas to take life. I write for understanding. I write because one becomes pregnant with ideas and its coming ready or not.