Outside Looking. . .

Inside my heart is heavy.

Inside my soul feels empty.

Inside my eyes are crying.

Inside I know there’s lying.

Inside I wish for change.

Inside I ride the range.

Inside there is an inside.

Inside, I ride this wave.

Inside I hope Faith will find me.

Inside my divides still widen.

Inside Hope envelopes me.

Inside my Heart still mends me.

Inside this pain will end me

Inside I will win this race.

Inside there’s no disgrace.

Inside reveals its face.

Inside there’s always change.

Inside there is death besides me.

Inside there is a birth that chides me.

Inside there is a pace.

Inside there’s a brace for pace.

Inside my fence will mend.

Inside I will press "Send."

Inside I’ll find my pace.

Inside I’ll erase this space.

Inside I will win this race.

Inside my race’s my pace.

Inside. . .

Kettle Whistles

Where to start? Lagging on the internet connection. Sitting in the Barnes. Two ladies sit across from me. Grey and purple hair. Other, purple top. Perusing Glamour. Other is vegetable souping it. Purple nails. Other has light blue and pink nails altering digits. Listening to Sting’s Sacred Love. Going for the rip. Its late and there’s much I’d like to do. 15 miles of cardio. Swim a bit. Its 8:40 pm. Haven’t ate yet and I know what if I can. Plan to do the morning walks with the inlaw ladies. Also want to head to morning mass. Need to LCH lab it tomorrow.

Last few days there’s been percolating. Working on some writing assignments. Working on Collaging. Work on the journey. It’s a trying time now. Got de-friended. My heart dropped. Got the “Suck.” My energy, part of my soul went empty. Realization that what I feared came to realization. Yes, I believe that this too shall pass yet my heart aches none the less. Pain. No not a throbbing pain. But a loss.

First time in Palm Sunday Mass. The word UNANSWERED kept coming to my. Feeling Abandoned. Guess, this how the Big Smile feels when we don’t answer the call. In my Facebook Bible Scriptures application, it said, “As Jesus has suffered, you shall also suffer.” It was Phillipians or Ephesians. . .”it had a PH something.

So what does it all mean. It means that I have to have Faith. If I am to be Faithful, Full of Faith. I must believe that a brighter day is around the corner. I know this in my mind. I feel that my heart knows this, but it still sucks. Bigger picture is going on and I am too small right now to see the Panorama. I am stuck on the teenie minutia of it all.

I have Faith. I do. Lots of it. Right now, it still has not encompassed. I feel the Suck. It’s the time before I open my eyes from the pleasant dream to beauty of a new day, a new dawn. I know its there. Just the crusties are thick this time. I believe that I am not given anything I cannot handle. I believe that at times I need to ask for Help. I know. Just the build up before the actual act is . . .percolating. 

Well, I leave at this. Percolating. The kettle will whistle. I promise. . .Have Faith.