Needing Wings

Dear Santa,

I need a lift.

Three days until Christmas. Still got a couple gifts to go, Santa. Can't say, I am the same place I was a year ago. Health has declined a bit. Not upbeat as I was last year. Not sure where this is from, but I have been feeling tired and sad. Don't have that same energy and not having that warmth as last year. I've mean I seen more. I've done more than the year before, but just not feeling the Joy.

Can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. . .

Going to church weekly. Saying my prayers. Knocked a few things off the bucket list. Actually, a lot. Feeling more of the decline than the rise. Wish I had a more positive outlook, but just not feeling that heart hug.

This is a choice and I know this, Get up or stay down.

Santa, I don't want any material gifts.

Maybe if you can help me with a lift my mood?

Its my diet. Its my exercise (or lack thereof). It is my not posting as much as I used to do. Its Rodney and his family leaving for the Philippines. Its is the trouble that Chris is having with his Mom. It is trouble with Abs and Dela. It is the stoppage. It is my medication. It is my isolation.

It is Rinne's Wedding. It is the weather and time of the year. It is not making progress with Em. It is seeing Dad's funeral for the first time. It was visiting Mike. It was not seeing Tatay and Rochelle as before.

Perhaps it is the stuff, Jace was having with his family. Perhaps, it Dennise's new babe. Maybe it is the way this year, and the last couple of years has just flew by.

Maybe I am not playing enough? Perhaps it is the economy? Perhaps its the country's joblessness? Perhaps, it the super committee and politics as usual keep government at a stand still? Maybe it is Protesters Occupying everywhere? Maybe it is 2012?


Maybe it not enough of somethings. Perhaps, its too much of other things. Maybe it is the Lakers losing two in a row against the Clippers. Do I need more music in my life? Do I need less traffic and taxes? It is everything and nothing.

These were the same issues I have had before, but just not feeling the Flow. I can overcome these mole hills.

Santa, I know this is simply temporary. A phase. I know this. I don't like it here. I don't belong here.
Don't want to seem ungrateful, because I am truly blessed with all that you have given. Guess, this is my call for a lift.

Big Smile, I am asking to for some wings so I can be lifted.