White Flower

Put some white flower on my legs last night. Its an analgesic balm made by a company in the orient I think. Its like icy hot, but Asian maker. Don't use it much, but the legs were/ are sore. Did some squats, leg extension, leg curls, and seat leg press yesterday. Not my usual routine, but times are changing.

Seems there has been a great deal of turmoil in the world, but when is there not turmoil. Egypt and Tunisia are protesting. People are upset at the high unemployment and high food prices. In Bell, California, the city council failed to meet because a lack of quorum. Council members are calling sick and going to the hospital. Bell is under investigation for the misappropriation of funds. Political parties want to repeal Health Insurance legislation. Its mandatory to get car insurance, but a person's health care is not given the same amount scrutiny. Go figure.

Seems like there is lots craziness going around. Trouble with Haiti. Oil Spills in Louisiana. States considering filing bankruptcy. School cop is arrested for making a false statement about a crime. He fabricated a story about being shot by an alleged car thief which caused a massive school lock down in LA Unified School District.  American Idol auditions in Nashville are being viewed around the world. What anarchy! Learned a few weeks ago that the astrological sign one was born under is now not the case. Yet, the horoscopes in the newspaper and online do not reflect this change.

Still life is okay. I got U-verse and can watch my shows almost any time I want. Saw Greenberg, Eeeh. Watched Spartacus and Ally McBeal. Watched the episode of Decoded with Brad Meltzer. Destination Truth is starting again in February.Plus, I recently got Geico Insurance and things are alright in the world. (Just kidding on the first part. Still with Farmers)

There is trade off. Good things and bad things happen. Deconstruction and Construction is happening all the time. We need to destroy things in order to make new things. Simple catabolism and anabolism at a macro level. Yo go Darwin and survival of the fittest. Or should we thank Keynesian economics for the invisible hand. Perhaps MTV or ESPN. Maybe Al Gore and Internet or Robert Zuckerman and Facebook? How about Twitters or Polar Bear haters.(I like polar bears by the way)

We are all child of our times. Nothing was like what our parents faced.There is WWI, WWII, Cold War, Vietnam, the Age of Aquarius, Atari, Video Games, and Disco Music. Heavy Metal bands and Rap Craze. Nothing is like what are children face. Direct TV, Facebook, Premium on Demand, $3.50 gas prices, and hybrid cars.Guns in school. Go Glee and Skins. Miley Cirus is really Hannah Montana. Kind like Clark Kent and Super-Man.

It is supposed to be this way. We do not live in a world where black and white tv exists anymore. We are in the world where we insulate listening to our music on the Ipod. People are forgetting how to have human contact. Thank goodness for twitter and youtube. We feed on Facebook being voyeurs of other people's lives. Perhaps this why there is  staying power of American Idol and reality tv. I mean what discernible skills do Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian really have. Ordinary average people need to know that hard work, talent, and luck can bring fortune and fame. Think Susan Boyle, Clay Aitkens and Ruben. Without these shows, would have never discovered the JabaWoockeez.

Anyways, sorry about the rant. Guess it is necessary for people to cry out once in awhile. Price of change is a little sore muscles. Pain tells us we are still alive and that we need to focus on the task at hand. At times these micro-tears on the social structure of life is price we pay in order to make social change. There is a term I learned in Personal Training. SAID--Specific Adaptation to Increased Demand. Essentially, its classic Kieerkegard's philosophy. Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.The body will adapt to the demands placed on them.  In order to make us stronger, we need to go through an occasional turmoil to discover what is really important and what is not needed. What did someone say about "a little revolution is. . ."

Ranting is White Flower for the soul. It heals wounds and stinks a little. In the end, it helps deal with stuff that feels overwhelming. So don't hold it in, scream a little. In the process, you will have less body fat and strong MusKles. (Typo was on purpose). Strong like bull.

Next time. . .

Didn't get published in the AV Lifestyle Magazine. Didn't win the photo contest either. That is okay. It happens. Does it diminish my motivation? Yes, a little. Is it disappointing? Yes, a little. Will I continue to write and take pictures? Of course, I will.

Didn't start writing this to be a famed novelist or writer. It was just something that I wanted to do. There was an old English teacher who ripped into a story I wrote in front of class. Ouch!!! For a time, this bothered me.

Always had good feedback in school. After the evisceration in front of class, well, I put on a poker face and let it wash over me. Trouble it soaked in and I didn't know. Stained me for some time. Took years to learn, but if you put yourself out there, some times people have issues and they blast you for no reason. Sometimes there are reasons, but that is another topic. For now though, it happens. It may not be that some one does not like you or your work. It is just that you, like others, may enjoy other things more.

Sure it disappointing. It diminishes ego not to be accepted nor approved. When I go to my niece's gymnastic competition, I amazed how she can be put under such scrutiny. A bobble here. A misstep there. Not enough action in the routine. Being judged is wrenching. Forget about pageants and beauty contest. Whoa!!! Don't think the male psyche could withstand such an assault. One would have to be a politician to bare the brunt of such onslaught.

Imagine the people on American Idol. Their dreams dashed because of three judges' opinions. Heard on the radio of a lady that didn't get in to Idol this morning. She thought it was her weight that stopped from Idol fame. Lashed out on the judges. Perhaps its true. Perhaps body image was a subconscious factor in their decision. Who knows? It could have been the judges? Could have been her singing was lacking? Maybe it was the autumnal equinox?

It is a duty for one to evaluate the circumstances surrounding an event. If it is the song, if it was the appearance, if it was execution, this is a vital step to understanding and developing. More importantly to move. Was going to say move on, then I thought. Move up. Move down. Or Not to Move.

We have choices. Always will have choices. We can learn and take steps to improve one's performance and ability. We can Move down and give up, which is still  viable option. No shame. Watch Fame the Movie regarding this matter. You can stay where you are at, living the moment stuck. Like former football athletes stuck in the glory of yesteryear. Like sports talk listeners, impassioned by the wins and loss of their favorite team.

We put ourselves to the scrutiny of the world where the slightest misstep is the cause for Armageddon. Watching part of the Chicago Bears and Packers game for the AFC Championship (or was it NFC). it was troubling. Jake Cutler, the Bears QB, hurt his knee. Fans were distraught by his body language. They were distraught that he ate dinner at a restaurant in public and walked up and down some stairs. They were lost because the team didn't win and they needed a scapegoat for their lot in life. Would go on, but the fervor would fuel a fire that needs to be quenched instead of continued.

Part of a roller coaster is falling down. Going up is fun, having the wind blown across your face at 60 mph. Yet, going to the valleys, is just as important. All things have a beginning, a middle, and an end. We need at times to go up, go down, and just pause at times. We need to end some rides when the time comes. We need to graduate from the kiddie rides because we have gotten taller. The sign says if you are at this height, you can take this ride.

Think of the people that judge as these little signs. They are guardians of the next step. But they are not perfect either. Look at this way, stand on your toes, wear lifts if you can. These signs/ judges are there for a reason and is part of the price of entry. However, there are other rides to take and more time to ride on the kiddie rides. Before too long, you won't be able to.

So again, instead of wallowing in despair and distraught, realize the park is closing and you would have spent all this time missing the so many rides. People change, transform. Although the story was one of my favorites, the right person has read and things are okay.

Here is the article that didn't get published. Next time I guess. We got more stories to live and write. Another time story link

Avenue R

Been driving Avenue R a lot lately. Don’t know what it is lately, but I’ve been reminiscing. Thinking about the many times I’ve driven down this road. It is much like any road in Palmdale, but it is so much more. It’s the way home for me. It is road filled with memories, good and not so good.

New Shopping Center

Early morning passing 47^th Street I see the new shopping center. Super Target, Panera, It’s a Grind. Across the way is Tom's and my car insurance place. Its where the new 24 Hours is supposed to open. The new site for Vallarta, too.

Heritage Housing Tract

Less than mile down is where Brian’s parents used to live. I remember catching a movie with his sister.  Yeah, I was stupid. Broke up with some girl and well she was familiar and I dunno. Not something that was very smart. 

Mobile Homes

Down the road is where Amanda used to live. She lived at the mobile home park. Used to sneak over to her house early in the morning. Her brother caught us once. She was my first girlfriend. She was something. Smart. Athletic. A go-getter. She was a fighter. Still is, I think.

Her good friend from school is the owner of the dance studio where Lynn, my niece, goes. Amanda moved a couple of times, but still close to Avenue R. Her neighbor was Eric, a good quarterback. First time with watercress salad and cheese sandwiches. Kim was also a good friend of Amanda who also lived in the parks.  I was lucky to be her boyfriend.

Ricky liked her so. My rival who grew to be a friend. He had a thing for my first. I don’t blame him. We fought a little. Used to ride together a lot, too. He had a Trek. His prized possession. A little gawky, but he had a warrior’s heart. Had many pool fights and sleepovers when we were school. We sparred a few times.  Laid him out once.  Thanks Uncle Kidog. Training did pay off.

Seven Eleven and the Blue Building

She lived close to 30^th Street and Avenue R. Right across the street from McAdams Park. This where I spent many a summer day and nights. This where Amanda and I would hang. It was also the place where I played tennis. Courts are run down now. Used to be the place to go. Jumping a top the wall, picking up stray tennis balls.

Justine lived across the street in the apartments. Played a few times, but she liked another. The Booth man. McAdam is where swam, where I did a double back. Where I did a 1 ¾ face plant. Ouch. First time hung out with Jennifer. Had a thing for her. It is where I began to swim again.

I remember this guy George in class was so big that he just floated. Reminded me of the guy from the old movie Dune with Sting. He just floated around. Didn’t sink. He was Thanksgiving float. From under water, It was a sight to see. Hope he lost the weight. Hope he's okay. Kids are mean at times.

McAdam Park was right across the street where my Freshman Biology teach lived. He was/ is a great guy. Why?  Because he fathered the my soul mate. Spent many nights there. Sleeping on his couch. Hanging with Lou. We would talked about Pierce Anthony and the Incarnation of Immortality. Learned how to say grace there, too. “God is Great. God is Good. Let us thank him for our food.” Loved that. It was where I gave the white rose goodbye.

PHS

Down the Street is Palmdale High. Where my brother teaches and coaches. He’s a good man. It’s the road where I ran for wrestling. Its on the corner of 25^th and R.  Used to walk this way with the Emericks from Joshua Hills a long time ago. There was a grocery store long ago. Kids would go there before school started. This was when Sage was junior high. Before the planetarium and before they found they put up the black fences.  Its lot now with a for sale sign. This is where they sell Christmas trees during the holiday. Its kind of sad.

Stretch, 25th and 10th Street East

Further down is the apartment where Scott used to Live. We called him Iceman. Stayed with him one weekend in Boston. He and his wife at the time lived there for the military. Learned they divorced and has since gone separate ways.  I think this were Steve lived too. Ernesto lived in the same area, too. St Mary is up the street  from Avenue R.

Its where I go to church. Its where Christy (not her real name) used to go to school. She was cute. Lived in the Hills, too. Attractive. I was a dork. Brown hair, great smile. She was one, I wish I would have had more courage. One of life's regrets.

Sergio and Krishna live between 11^th and 10^th. A rough area. Rough kids. We all had a crush on Grace. What times? It was time of the Orange Pinto and having my bike stolen. Playing ball all night. One night, I remember Dad asking me if I wanted to offer to give a gun to him. It was a shock. It was the way things were done in the PI. Salvage them. Why? Bad things happens in families that should not happen in families. I wonder how people could do such bad things to people.

Courson Park is where the mayor at the time asked what things I would change in Palmdale if given the chance. "New basketball courts," that is what I said.  Next summer there they were. Its where Sergio, Scott and I played. Its where Scott got jumped. Its where the punk ass ghetto kid, jacked up my left knee. Why? Because I was whooping his ass, embarrassing him in basketball in front of his friends. Took a cheap shot.  Well, that's enough of that. Sergio and Krishna are gone. Not sure where they are now.

Passed the railroad tracks on Sierra Highway. Walked these tracks from Joshua Hills to the Comic Book Shop, where I asked Dana to the movies. Neither of us showed up. 

6th Street

On the following street is where Lynn goes to dance. Where Ricky used to work at Jack In the Box. Where I got my first real job at the KFC. Washing dishes with Al. Using a hose to wash dishes. Soap if we were feeling especially industrious. Where I did a marketing internship at the radio station. Many memories of harder times were there. Where I used to ride my bike with Ricky in the middle of the night. Not sure if he is alive or dead.

We do this at times. Lose touch people we were once so close. We travel by places that had so much history. We watch places that used to have so much health and wealth, just decay and pass away. We see how places change meaning. Some grow. Some fade. There is energy in places we live. There is energy we imbue in the places we live, we inhabit, where memories are made. Where people live in pleasant and hard times. We live in times and spaces that has so much meaning. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad, sometimes very bad. Still, we persevere. 

The roads we travel is not so smooth. It is also not as bad as once thought.

Certain dynamics brings people together. Can't explain why it happens. There is purpose. Our view is limited what we see. Time brings people and places together. We at times to stay there forever. At times we wish leaves these places forthwith. We cannot stay here forever. People change. Places change. Events happen and don’t happen. We do not live standing still. Its not supposed to be that way. Relationship grow strong together. They fade, too. Not everything seems special. But it is. We get so lost thinking something is better. Tomorrow always is.Yesterday is always better, too.  When we realize this looking over all of it we see it is all good.  

10th West, Left or Right?

Would go on Avenue R, but its going to "T" soon. No more straight ahead. Just left or right. New memories must be formed. We need to see where Lynn did the Bee. Need to see where I ran with the team up the hill. Need to experience and leave the times I went back to Kathleen's and Brian finding us. Would talk about the new PRMC,  reminiscing some more. These moments matter. They all do. There is more road to drive. There are more Avenue R’s to live.

Hassetsu

Hikiwake--Drawing the Bow

Her legs apart. Torso unmoving. Eyes fixed ahead. She takes another deep gasp in, as she breathes in her target. For her, no one else exists as the crowd stands waiting for the thwack. Straddling, she stands in as if on a horse. This kiba-dachi stance, the horse stance, is the most grounded, the most stable of all positions. One draws the power from the earth as she lets loose. A gush of air as she releases. Thwack.  A collected sigh in the crowd expires as the feathered shaft misses its mark.

Yugamae--Readying the Bow

It’s a stunning sight. A four foot ten inch Asian woman and eight foot tall kyodu bow.  Dressed in classic akido garb one sees in only traditional Japan ceremonies.  Standing tall she still is dwarfed by the lacquered bamboo  bow. The bow is almost double her size. She hold the bow with a confidence still years from mastery. It may take several years for her before it becomes effortless. Years to find mushin and yet she may never find it.

The pre-shot approach reminds me of a seasoned billiard player. She finds grounds herself in a solid stance. One leg forward the other back. Torso straight. Bending slightly at the waist. Left arm holding the bow firmly as her body begins to coil. Her head fixed. Unmoving. Locked in at the sight ahead. Arrow nocked, ready to be released. She moves ever so slow, so deliberate. Left arm straight overhead, it does not look as the most efficient of poses. Still, it works. It almost always does.

Kai--Completing the Draw

Her right hand holds the nocked arrow. Two fingers around the shaft intertwined by the bows string. Arrow drawn she waits for the moment to release. She waits for her breath and heart beat to be one. She closes her eye ever so quietly as she begins to listen for that moment.  Her torso rises as her left arm quivers.

Thwack.

Just like that, the moment gone. Did not even saw arrow get loosed. Its easy to tell she is not has mastered this skill set task yet. Her movements are still choppy, robotic. Her aim at first has swerved left and then right. Several feet from its intentions. Still it is easy to see her foundation is strong and that there will be a time when comes in to synch. She follows the same, measured pre-shot ritual. Horse stance. Lock gaze on sight. Look away. Deep Breath. Raise bow and arrow in unisons. Long dramatic pause before she lets loose the hungry bow. This series is called the Hassetsu.

Thwack.

Unlike her contemporaries at the Archery Demonstration, she chose the style of Kyudo to show her skill. Others are armed with the latest and greatest of modern day archers. Built with space age composites. Balanced with counterweights. Sights that enlarges the target. I am reminded of something from Star Wars. It is nice to see the asynchronous. It is nice to see the exquisite of tradition of the centuries still lives strong.

With patience, dedication, and single-minded focus, this lady archer may be someone to contend.  Until then, we will wait. However, I think that winning is not her goal. Methinks it is something more.

In Kyudo Saho, there is a ceremony to the art of Japanese archery. There is the Housha. Here the archers would shoot offerings to the Gods. In Yabusame, shooting is done from horseback.  There is none of that here, though. Seems stuff like that would be more for a circus. Here, can’t help feel there is more spiritual here. Just watching the way she holds herself. The way she finds peace and quietness.  She gazes upward asking for something I don’t know.  She searches for mushin.

Uchiokoshi--Raising the Bow

It says in some writings, that Kyudo neither adds or detracts from one’s problems at first. It simply reveals the nature of oneself, peeling away all the layers of insignificance. Kyudo is one avenue to remove the stuff of ego to find our true nature. Hope she finds it. 

Life Is Better With. . .

(This is the second article I published in the local magazine. So if you read this before, thank you again)

“Short on time. Short on money. Short on sleep. Long on memory”—This was how to best describe the short, unplanned trip to the City by the Bay. Jason and I were due for an adventure. He was finishing a semester of Respiratory School and I just finished Pharmacy Tech school. We were both mentally fried and in much need to getaway.

Plus, I suspect Cousin Jason was feeling the same way I was. You see most of our cousins were married with families of their own. As the last two unwed cousins, we instinctively knew that we won’t have too many chances like this again. So in the middle of the night, we headed out for this trip up “North.” North was still a distant mystery in the night.

With a fistful of cash, a tank full of gas, and no reservations anywhere, we stormed off to what may be the last of the “Cousins” road trip together. Armed with a San Francisco guidebook, we had a tentative plan. Go to the places with the coolest pictures. Didn’t say it was great plan, but it was what we had.

On the way, we agreed on a few immutable rules. First, wherever we were, we would sit down and watch the NBA Championship games. Boston Celtics were beating our hometown LA Lakers 3 to 2. We weren’t going to miss the latest chapter of the basketball rivalry. As die-hard fans, the next game could be the last one. Second rule was not to think too much and just let Flow. Third rule, visit as many landmarks and tourists sites we can fit in this long weekend.

Pumped up on adrenalin, we made it to San Francisco hours earlier than planned. Having never visited the city before, we drove around and explored much of the early morning.  We drove the Golden Gate Bridge, hurried through Fisherman’s Wharf, and found where Ghirardelli’s was located. All before 6 a.m., way ahead of the early morning commuters.

Feeling car weary, we stopped by City Hall to stretch our legs and capture some photos of the city’s interesting statues. Than out of the blue, a 40 something peppered-haired man started walking toward us. Thinking we were going to be warmly greeted by a local. Coffee in hand, this once smiling middle-aged man started shouting obscenities for now obvious reason. After he gave us the angry person salute—I  think he thought we were taking his pictures without his permission—Jason and I looked at each other and got in the car. No use arguing with an obviously, unstable person with too much caffeine.

After this warm greeting, I couldn’t really remember what we did these next four days. We said sped through the days in a blur, avoiding every 40 year old man with a coffee in their hand. In three days, we were in Palmdale, San Francisco, Chinatown, Big Sur, Carmel, San Simeon, San Luis Obispo, Solvang, and Santa Clarita.

We walked the Golden Gate Bridge. Almost got run over by a cyclist, too. Got lost in the alleys of Chinatown after dark looking for authentic hand-made fortune cookies. We drove up and down Lombard Street, around  five or six times. Rode our first taxi. Ate chocolates at Ghirardelli. Had fish and chips at the Wharf. Got lost on the way to Carmel and had to get directions at cemetery by a real life grave digger. We were stuck in traffic jam in the quiet town of Carmel because of the US Open at Pebble Beach. Drove PCH and got mesmerized by the scenic coastlines. Chased a blue jay, which led us to unused lawn chairs in the middle of river at Big Sur (We used them).

Saw sea lions sunning. Watched a brown cow chase after a herd of  zebras. Touched an ostrich. Toured Hearst Castle. Videotaped people parachute surfing.  Ate my first Danish Meatloaf in Solvang. Went wine tasting. Met and took pictures with the famous UFC referee “Big John” McCarthy.  And top it off, we watched our hometown LA Lakers comeback from a 3-2 game deficit to beat the Boston Celtics to win the NBA Championship in the last few minutes of the fourth quarter.

Can’t tell you what the best part of the unplanned because it flew by so fast.  I can tell you two hings from I learned from this adventure:  First, sleep is way over-rated. Second, rechargeable batteries are a must. 

When I write about the road trip and looking back at the many, many pictures, I can’t help think of this end of the 2009 year movie “Up In the Air“ with George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, and Anna Kendrick . It was one line in the movie that hit home for me.

Actually, when I come to think about it, the best part of this road trip was not the may sights we seen. Nor was it delicious food we ate. It wasn’t the interesting people we met. Nor was it the songs we were screeching (Can’t honestly call it singing we were doing). The best part of trip was can be summed up this way.

In the movie, Up In the Air, Ryan (Clooney character) says to his soon- to-be-brother-in-law: “If you think about it, your favorite memories, the most important moments in your life... were you alone? No, Life is better with company” This statement could not be more true. Even with the angry, disturbed coffee man.

Where the day takes us. . .

Tonight could have turned out a lot differently. Could be on the road like many travelers tonight stuck on Highway 14. Could have crashed when I went to Carl's Jr. Could have been stuck in Acton snowbound freezing my behind. Could have been out of gas on Vista Point. Roads were hairy. Many people were stuck on the side of the road. Many cars had to get escorts. Saw a few CHP pass up stranded cars. Many cars were spinning and sliding. Many cars did not know how to drive on the icy snow.

Still, don’t think I would want to have it any other way. Went to early morning mass and came home to confirm no one was up for Rose Parade float gawking. Can’t blame them. I was not much into myself since I worked on the float a few weeks back. Plus, since I went to the viewing last year, the excitement factor was only two stars. Sure it would have been nice, but there were many things else to do.

Tried calling some cousins these last few days, but no return calls. Kind of upsets me with some of the flakiness, but it is what it is. If not ready, it is time to move on. Would have liked the company, but it will have to be some other time.

Found myself rained on. Found myself in a place I never imagined. Found myself at place I dismissed simply because of the name. Met someone who visited Ankor Watts. Took some close ups of jellyfish and seahorses. Lost control of the car on purpose accidentally.  Got Yoda to say turn around and you have a rebelliousness streak inside of me (My TomTom) Got my monthly dose of beach water.

Took so many pictures that my camera ran out of juice. Drove so much I worried about running out of fuel.  Passed on Late night at Pacific. I got home a little over eleven. Been on the road for 6 hours. Usually a drive like this would take an hour and half. The weather gods had different plans and the Lakers lost the Grizzlie (what a bunch of crap) Heater is on and the day has to start early tomorrow. Heard a few schools were closed because of snow and the TV has been shut off.

Where do I begin? Obviously this day has been an adventure. One that I thoroughly enjoyed. It has been a day of disappointments and challenges. It has been day of awakening and time for recovery. Its these mini dramas that animates life. Many long for peace and harmony. I understand. I enjoy the little things the controversy, the struggle, the game. Its through these moments that makes a difference. Its these moments in the rain that makes a world of difference.  Well, time to go. Nox is calling.