Purple in her hair. I see her all the time. Her names comes to me from everywhere. In passing by, I hear her name. In the book I’ve read, she jumps out. In conversations with relatives I never met, her name appears. Her name brings me great joy and deep sadness. Her name came in a dream and I believe it. Some things you know without knowing it. This is one of those times.
Atlas carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. JC carried a cross during the stations. My tonnage is my own making. Its heaviness is sorrow and regret. Chose this weight, I did. Could let it go, but this not what I want. Don'r have much of her so I hold this tightly. No, don't wish to let this go. Its mine and only one may let loose these pangs. I hold it freely and because it carries me. It weighs on my soul, but it moves me. It moves me one more step. An again it moves still, one more step. It gives me the strength to move when I think there’s no more. An emptiness inside craves to be filled. A choice I make freely and with no assurances that path I’ve chosen will lead me to where I need to go. This is Faith.
We takes these leaps. . .these leaps of Faith. We bound blind to the circumstances. We learn that our landings can, and often do, mean a fall. We twist an ankle. Tweak a knee. We fall and it hurts. Our body aches. We need to rest. We need to heal. We need to get attention. However, in time we discover these missteps, these twisted turns leads us to doing amazing things. We discover we can do handsprings, back walkovers, layouts, inverse, giants, Kips, and Aerials. We learn that we go on.
The lesson is not the just the accomplishments completed. The lesson is getting back up. It is getting back up. It is getting back up. The gift we discover is not just gymnastic skill we master, we discover it was the falling and getting back up. We discover a strength that is more than physical. We discover a power, an energy, our chi. We learn of a Flow that carries us and strengthens us. We learn that we are so much more, so much more, so much more.
We go with no idea how we are going to reach our destination. We jump knowing that road of good intention may lead to a personal Hades. We jump through fires knowing that the next step can and will burn. It will feel like eternity. However, this will pass. We must take that next step. . .and the next one. Liken it to a baptism by Fire. We must shed our coils. We must give up what we used to be in order to become what we need to be.
On this week before Easter, we are reminded of one put on a cross and who faced death. Persevered through it and rose again. Odin, from Norse legends, was hammered on the holy tree of Yggdrasill. He willing gave up an eye for he knew he would be returned something greater. Buddha sat under the sacred Boddhi, tested by the Dark One. He endured. We learn suffering is temporary. We discover, this, too, shall pass. We can get caught up in the games. We can choose to stay where we are, but in order to grow we must get up, carry the cross, and let it go.
It is the light of faith that will guide us. If we believe, in that the Next step. If we believe, the rest of the body will follow. It is not the destination that get us there it is the belief that in that Next step. We may be detoured, halted, turned back, returned. Still we need to go. We must adventure. We have a story to learn, a story to tell, a story to live. Our journey is our story. Let her take us where we need to go.
One step. . .One Step. . .One Step. At times it feels like walking through quicksand. Still we need to take that next step. We will to need change how we travel. We know that the weight will get lighter. We know our legs will strengthen, it will carry us through. Strengthened by our trials, the spirit, the soul will go on. We know the return to terra firma. We know that life will become lighter. During our journey, we will experience times when our feet are no touching the ground. These are our periods of self-actualization.
These next steps get us where we need to go. We will be hardened, learned, and opened by journey. We will pick up the many tools that will get through these times. We will find friends and family that will carry our angst with us and for us. We shall learn we can’t carry it alone. We’re not supposed to be always alone. Their strength, added to our own, will hold us. We will in turn carry their personal stuff, too, because in the end it will balance out.
Some of us are not as strong. Some of us will not carry as much. It’s not their turn. Some will be given the opportunity to carry their share and others. Why? Because the Big Smile thought us strong enough to carry added weight. We may think that it is too heavy. However, the universe will give us specific demands and we will adapt to these increased demands. SAID Principle. We will grow stronger. He will lighten the weight that burdens us at times when we think we can no longer carry. We will be lifted because we are loved. Its hard for me to imagine that we are given no unnecessary lessons or punishments.
Great people are born. Great people are molded. Great people are all around us. They are the one next to us. They are the ones far away. The ones we can feel, hear, and see from a distance. They are, we are candles in the wind. We light those in the dark. We fuel the fire of Hopes. We carry inspiration and become strong. We carry the fire that lights many candles. We realize that we can and must go on. We take leaps in the dark. We will be guided by messages that will us to where we need to go. For me, purple in her hair and a name carried by the winds, is my candle. What is life if it were not for its apogees and nadirs. Roller coasters are fun. It is the drama of life that shows us and others that we can and will go on.
For now, the lady with purple in her hair. . .I will hold on.
