Inside Man on HBO is playing and soon I should be fast asleep. Bed is getting too comfortable. The blowing fans next door are keeping the Christmas decorations inflated. Its steady hum has become part of the nighttime sounds. Window open, the crispness of the air causes me to hug my blanket tighter. Slowing down my heart rate, weighing my eyes heavy.
A giant Elf, droopy Snowman, and Harley Santa straddling a chopper--These are my evening companions. Looking down I think, "Not my flavor." I am more of a minimalist traditionalist. Icicle lights and the easiest to set up Holiday lawn accouterments. Usually two lighted reindeer. Neighbor's yard looks too cluttered. Needs to be placed different. Needs to tell a story instead of just being placed haphazardly. There's something for having a negative space. Next door looks like my grade school nephew's bedroom, Tornado Alley.
First official day of Winter and I find myself content. Few work friends/ associates approved friend requests. Discovered the nephew of an Ex got out of hospital. Recovered from a motorcycle accident months back. Considered sending a FB request. It seems a bit Hinckee. FB stalking of an old ex is not one confesses to. Stalking is a strong word, Looking up old close friends, who is not part of your life anymore, well, its awkward. You would like to know they are doing well because you were once close. But there is a reason you aren't together, what that is you can't quite recall. Having and giving FB privileges to Exes, there are drawbacks. Right now the benefits aren't outweighing the risks.
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She seems to be in a good place, posting stuff about finding Soul Mate. Cringe. Admittedly, when the break up occurred years back, there was an okay-ness to it. Anger and sadness, sure. However, at graduation ceremony seeing her face, tears and guilt, it was understandable. There was connection there and it was strong. Yet, this was inevitable. Perhaps, I always knew she was not to the One. Just thankful at the time spent together. Hearing the clapping, the hooting and hollering of family and friends, receiving the diploma and taking the customary picture with the available school dignitary--There is a relief and sadness to the closing of this chapter in life. Travelling down the road and seeing its end. Knowing one can never go back because that part of your life is over.
What is okay to share? Life goes on. Looking at the timeline of a new FB friend, a former boss. I am happy to see this person newly married and with newborn. Last, this person with going through a rough separation and tough custody chicanery. What appears is thus person is holding steady in the company. In the upper ranks, but I am not sure what this person's standing in the corporation. There's been a recent influx of VP with the recent buyout of Ballys.
Spoke with a sales associate and learned he was a former VP from that same company. He left the company months ago. (Former because he got caught being shady) He was newbie in this company working for a competitor in the same industry. Learned with the recent acquisition, there's been growing pains. Organizational upheavals and shaking out of rising up and comers is the drama pf the day.Little drama is nice, but navigating through that thicket. One lesson I hard learned, one often forgets what the prize is.Can't see the forest because the face is deep in the trees. 70 hour weeks, strained relationships, and poor balance--Been there done that.Thank You, but I would rather not have another
Life happens fast.
Borrowing a line from one of my favorie early 90's movie, "Its not all Bad."
