Harsh Words

Never have I felt so far. Read a few stories from a website Scribophile. My hopes were to improve my writing and get some criticism. Well, how can I put this?

Ouch.


Wheels Turning and I Am Under the Tire
No, I haven't joined yet. Reading what others have written; Yeah, I've got a ways to go. Much of the drive to write better came from Glitter. She started blog on her Myspace. She had few posts with a number of comments. Knew she was good. She won a few contests. She wrote for NYSplash. Seen her work on the website. Seen her picture with many luminaries. Read one post and I think she blasted me. Won't go into details, but my feelings are hurt. This could be imagined. This could be about someone else, yet, I suspect it could be me. (Names and business were changed)


No, Its Not You. . .Okay?
Whoa! It hurts because its probably true. Having your one-time friend say things that are unkind, but probably true. Ouch. If ever confronted she can deny it being me. Oh, another time. If we were closer, if we remained connected, if we were. . .well, that's another time. How much weight should I give this criticism if I am the subject of her rant? How much weight should I give since it was another time, another me, another another. Maybe this Gremlin manifesting itself, again? Maybe it is working its spell to give me self-doubt and self-loathing?

Perhaps, this is how it starts? A short sentence on Myspace, a harsh exchange with a loved one, or a public bashing caught on YouTube--All the shots on a person psyche? The words of a lost friend who shot you with honesty and personal feeling. Don't want to give it too much credence or power. Honesty can sting. Like a well placed shot to the eyes. Or it could be an upward strike to the nose that sends shards of broken nose bone up your frontal lobe? Blinded or dead. Choice is how to take this blow. These are the voices can cause lifelong pain.


Mean Words Are Funny, But They Hurt
Maybe, its my roosters coming home. I was once the verbal assailant to an old friend. Exchanges of middle schoolers can be worse than a UFC match. "Mr. V is so fat when he goes to beach, Animal Rights people try to push him in the water. Mr V is so big satellites start to orbit him. "Mr B is so Big when he sits around the house, He sits AROUND the house. Mr. V's teeth are so yellow, when he smiles, cars start to slow down." Aaahhh. I was so wrong. I was so mean. I was so stupid. Words hurt.

If what I am feeling is a just a tiny percentage of the psychic damage I caused Mr. V, then shame on me. Never wanted to hurt one's feelings like that. Nothing scarring for life. Just wanted a good laugh. Alpha male thing. Hahahaha. Jokes on me. I am an ass. Such damage. This constant barrage can leave one psychically F*%ked, Sorry, V.


Greeks Had It Right: Psyhce Means Soul
Well, I've been having a thing with Voices lately. Words can be worse than giving nunchucks to a kid. Read a book mythology. As a one-time psychology major, the word Psyche stood out. It was my understanding that Psychology meant the studying of the mind. In Greek and Roman mythology, Psyche was the offspring of  one of the Greek Gods. The Greeks meant Psyche to mean the "Soul." This realization troubled me.  What brought the light to me was that this study of the mind was really a study of the soul. The mean words we say can have a dramatic effect on one's soul, one's character, one's emotional makeup.Good positive words of encouragement can make a world of difference; while the latter, well, too often we know the consequences of sharp words.

Pow Sandwich

Learned sandwich approach from the Great Pow, Management guru extraordinaire. Peter Drucker, you've got nothing on Pow. When giving sandwich criticism, say one good thing you liked, then specific correct BEHAVIOR you would like to see, then give another shot of praise. One needs to be specific and when I say BEHAVIOR it means the behavior, not the person. Person needs feedback. Trust me writing a blog, people need feedback. Ideally, its positive. However in my case with Glitter. It was fair, harsh, a bit truthful, yet her opinion. One can take it with a grain of salt and go in denial. Or one can stay and wallow in hurtful words. One can learn take what one says to heart, and move on. Well, I've done the first two, guess I'll try option three.

Ask It, Got To Give It
Need to do some work before I throw my hat in the Scribophile. No Guts, No Glory. Got to burn away the fat. It will be my crucible. Let's see what sterner stuff I'm made of. If I'm going to say I blog, I need to strap on a pair.  As for Mr. V, I'm an Ass. Sorry. As for Glitter, You weren't so nice. I thank you for sharing how you felt. By the way, F**k You. I Forgive You, too. If one's wants Forgiveness, then one needs to give it I still love you both, Mr. V and Glitter. No Hate In My Heart. Only got room for Love.