Lowliness to Holiness, From Grit to Grace...

Twenty-eight Days Into The New Year.
Where you at right now? I am sitting in the Lancaster Library reviewing the past events of this month. Goal-wise: Four more blog posts and I proudly will have completed 31 posts (whew). Went to Church at least once this month, not counting the Communion inquiry class, 2 times, thank you. Went to beach, took a cool pic of the surfer, seaguls, and sunsets. Doesn't look like I will I have 150 Nike plus miles these 31 days, I need 50+ in 3 days. (Not likely). Journalized everyday and six books read (Only 294 before the end of the year)

Now, the important stuff. Made steps to get things right with D and M. I am taking the Pharm Tech exam next month and I will seriously start eating smarter. Workouts have been relatively consistent. Fell off here and there, but I am not beating myself when I miss or when I am not feeling it. My original game plan of doubling up is not working out. The yoga thing, well, I finally went and I am not sure it will take. Sleeping better and waking more refreshed. Firebird promises is getting me up and I am thankful for that.


Facebook: The Multiverse Revealed
As I read the Facebook posts, I look at people's lives happening. I hear venting. I hear bragging. I see Vampire gifts and missions. I get pages for Mafia wars and Farmville. I see pictures that inspire. I snicker at the funny posts. I read other people's blogs and I comment on them. I take notice of more things. Changed my picture profile and changed my saying. Its not that I forget who I am, its just in order to be the person I need to become I need to give up who I was. Its not an easy task and its taking some work. I know there will be push back and let downs, but I see more peace.

Last night I finished a DVD. Its called Dark Matter. Kind of disturbing. Not the Hero's journey I suspected. No "feel-good" moments for me. Just a stark realization that people can make bad choices even through living a good life. Working hard, loving family, risking. Sometimes the picture in our head is not the one we are living. This is difficult to accept. Its not good or bad. Its an event. Its a cross-road in your life. Do you continue? Or do you course correct? Maybe the destination is not where you meant. Maybe its totally different than what you wanted, different than what you expected. Let me tell you, in a different universe I would be married to my soul mate, working at a job I love and having a great relationship with M.

Yet, its not that way. Its hard to accept that a different path was lived. The gist of Dark Matter is this. Young, brilliant Chinese student leaves home to study under a great professor in the US. A good son sending money home. A good worker staying after work. A good person not afraid to risk. Showing so much promise, he goes through the usual trials of rejection from a girl, from a PhD candidacy, from a better life. I was expecting some happy resolution, a toughening of the soul, that A-ha moment when that luck break happens and all is the well in the world. To my surprise, this was not the Chinese version of "Pi", it was more Columbine High school.

Dark Matters--I Have Seen Those Dark Cloudy Days
I looked into myself. I have taken steps away from the situations. I got perspective. I felt his pain. It hit home. Did not sleep well after that. It made me reflect during my times as Student Body President. It reminded me of my time when I left the fitness industry. Let me tell you, razing hell and providing a cleansing was how I felt to those that wronged me and betrayed me. Punisher-mode was a click away. I understood the main character's pain and disappointment. When choosing a path of destruction, when one's dreams are not fulfilled. . .I have to give pause.

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light.
Made my call to D yesterday. I was expecting to get blasted. I was kind of hoping that would be the case. She felt sorrow. She felt I missed out and I did. I can not go back to the past. Time traveler skills is not within me. Movies, like Star Trek (the latest one), where the distraught Romulan captain wanted to seek revenge on the Spock, the man, who did save his planet, his race, his family, it made me think of events not accomplished, of different roads.

Seven Steps to the Close: Big Smile Style
I look on Facebook and see friend, associates, new single-serving friends (thanks Fight Club) and I think wow my life can be so much different. I regret some. Others not so much. Guess, what I got to say is this. The movie made me feel rock-bottom, hole in my heart, dark despair. People need this. People need this terrible feeling.

In sales and I was good in sales, we need at times to hit that emotional chord. Don't even bother asking for the buy question until you made an emotional connection. We need to hit home. We need to embrace that void, that despair, that purgatory. I think of Annie's Hell, played by Annabella Sciorra, in the movie, What Dreams May Come.


Faith isn’t faith until it’s all you’re holding on to--Anonymous
Big Smile, Hit Me Hard. I know, I felt it. Not a pleasant experience, let me tell you.I am not a religious person. Never have been. Yet, I was called spiritual recently. I will take that compliment. Yet, I have been in despair for things done and not done. I know the psycho-babble. I read it, studied it, practiced it, pooh poohed it, I threw it away. So smart, that I got in my own way.

I asked in a dark room (bathroom blackout again) with no one around and I asked. I don't like to do that, it just seems silly. You make your own bed, you live with the consequence. If there is something wrong, bitch about it, then fix it. I was lost and I have seen people lost. Dark Matter reminded me of place that people have chosen to go. Well, I am not going to say pray. I am not going to say you should do this or that.

Asking for guidance and you may not like the answer. Big Smile answered me, Congestive Heart Failure. Not satisfied, let me give you some Hypertension and Diabetes. Not the answer I expected.I am just going to say. . ."Well, That's All I Got To Say About That. . .My name, its Forrest, Forrest Gump."

Heaven is not Heaven without you In It, M.
How will you know how strong you are, until you have nothing. If I die, then I will comeback and fix it. "If not in this life, then the next"--Maximus, Gladiator. I know my Soul Mate exists, she is married to another and has a son named Michael. I know that I will make this right. I promise to find you and do what is right. I will go through whatever levels of Hell to gain your Love. Everything is Nothing Without You.

Faith can move mountains, but don’t be surprised if God hands you a shovel--Anonymous
Daily battles. Little Victories. Setbacks. Closer To You

Well, I can't help but think, of what I wrote earlier. Twenty-eight days into the new year. Where you at right now? I am sitting in the Lancaster Library reviewing the past events of this month. Goal-wise: Four more blog posts and it will have been 31 day post (whew). Went to Church at least once this month, not counting the Communion inquiry class, 2 times, thank you. Went to beach, took a cool pic of the surfer, seagulls, and sunsets. . .

Daily battles. Little Victories. Setbacks. Closer To You


Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is still dark.
Scandinavian Saying

Seth, Spawn, Songs, Starfish, and SOTU

State of the Union Speech: Does It Really Matter?
State of the Union (SOTU). Haven't read any of the politicos comments on the speech. Don't know if I will. It tends to be a lot of cock and bull. One side says this and the other side says that. Defend and Attack. It gets old. To me, it is just the sales rebuttals that I have heard a millions times over, simply an exercise in bashing and futility. Whenever talking heads appear on CNN or CSPAN, blah blah blah-ing, I just hit mute, click the guide button on Dish Network control, and change the channel.

Heard most of Obama's speech while on the Life fitness bike. Liked what heard. My first time speaking in front of people, almost fainted. Definitely blacked out for a second. I was told that I lost my balance and it looked like I was going to take header. So whenever a good speech being delivered by a seasoned orator, I just marvel. Now, I'm good. Speaking in front of a Super Bowl stadium full of people, I got it covered.

The President's State of the Union, honestly, don't know if it will make a difference. Hope it does. When a State of the Union speech comes up, I think of the West Wing TV series. My favorites West Wing shows were the State of the Union episodes. One of my favorite SOTU show is "Season 6, Episode 12: 365 Days" It is the last year of the President second term, his last year. Leo, the ex-Chief of Staff gathers all of Bartlett, SOTU speeches. He reviews them and takes to task the entire staff. He tells them re-focus. He reminds them the great words, the moving State of the Union speeches, the reasons the why they are there is getting lost. Various political realities have stifled their agenda. They have been reacting to crises, instead of shaping events. Leo emphasizes this is the team's last hurrah and its time to let out all stops.

Can't help, but think the grandiose plan each and everyone of us makes. Resolutions I call them. They are promises to ourselves to be better. How many of your resolutions are not being followed through? What are the gamut of reasons? Compromise here,compromise there. Excuses here, "I will do it tomorrow" there. No need to beat yourself. This is just a reminder to stop reacting and think big picture. In the end, does it really matter?

Throwing Starfishes Can't say yes, but I also can't say no, either. I think of the Starfish story, by Loren Eiseley. http://muttcats.com/starfish.htm Moral of story is ". . .Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference! At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

Started writing this blog because I needed to explore and examine Inspiration. My hope for this blog is to examine, learn, and incorporate Heroism in our daily lives. I suspect there are others that have same yearning. Some time ago, I read an article on modern mythology and comic-dom. This was a time when collecting comics was the cool thing to do. Lines for comic signing were a block long,i.e., Todd McFarlane and Spawn. The article made sense.

People need to be continually inspired. Think Bible, Aesop's Fable, Koran, any management book. Read any comic book. People in the absence of meaning need a shot of feel good,a dose of purpose. Some turn to religion. Some to romance novels. Others, spy books. Music, too. Sporting events. Yet others--many others--catch the latest flic.

Spanish guitar is playing overhead. Sitting in the middle of Barnes and Noble at 10:17 pm, I am surrounded and bombard with inspiration. I now understand the appeal of books stores. Often there no places to sit, its so crowded. They are a place to be entertained, a place to enjoy, a place to find inspiration.

I Can Hear You What You Are Thinking
Watching a lady in a gray hoodie right. She's smiling as she reads her story. I wonder what she is saying to herself to make her smile like so. If I were Seth, the fallen angel, who fell for love, in the "City of Angels" my favorite ability would be able to hear the internal dialogue of every day people. Right now, listen to your own internal dialogue. What is it saying?

Today caught myself trying to be my own inspiration. Sat on Life Fitness cycle earlier. Head down. Eyes closed. Zoning on my breathing. Listening to my legs pump those pedals, I kept repeating "Stronger Heart. Stronger Heart. Stronger Heart" When I shoot pool, after each shot, I shout in my head, "Damn, I am good." Miss or make, I still ring out, "Damn, I am good." I've developed a shooter's mentality. What do you say? Whats your internal dialogue? Why shouldn't you be your own cheerleader?

Movies and Music Lift Spirits
When feeling lazy, when feeling mentally and physically drained, I go get a dose of "feel good." Saw Lebron James basketball yesterday afternoon, "More Than A Game." Afterwords, I finished 10 miles of cardio. Even now, I get still get pumped whenever the Rocky theme song plays. Do you have a movie that fires you up? Think Rudy, Invincible, Miracle, When We We're Kings, Invictus, Without Limits, PreFontaine, Remember the Titans, Cool Runnings, Tallageda Nights. (just kidding on last one)

How about a song? Richard Wagner's Flight of the Valkyrie does it for me. Chariots of Fire soundtrack. Some Naughty by Nature, Feel Me Flow or Hip Hop Hooray. Eminem, Ice Cube, Black Eyed Pea. Can't forget the original Rocky's theme song. If you have more, please put it on comment.

My point is this, many need that "feel good", always have. My proof are the millions of movie-goers, novel readers, music lovers, Church goers, sport fans. They attend to events to seek entertainment, seek inspiration, seek that "feel good." When we listen to the State of the Union speech, we get disappointed when there is no stirring in the soul. When we attend a football game, a boxing match, or basketball game, if our heart does not race, than we feel a bit let down. This blogs will explore the ways people get inspired. It will create awareness how the heroism manifests itself. Lastly, it will perpetuate that "feel good" that many seek.

Comment on what inspires you. I would like to use it for a future blog post.

West Wing Episode Synopsis can be found on the following http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0200276/episodes

State of the Union episodes listed below:
Season 2, Episode 13: Bartlet's Third State of the Union
Original Air Date—7 February 2001
While a live TV show is broadcast from the West Wing following the State of the Union, the staff must covertly deal with a hostage situation in Columbia. CJ learns that a special guest at the state of the union has a black mark on his record that could taint the administration. Ainsley Hayes is afraid to meet the President in person.


Season 3, Episode 12: 100,000 Airplanes
Original Air Date—16 January 2002
On the night of the State of the Union, Sam has to explain the process of writing the speech and grading reaction to it to a magazine reporter (Traylor Howard) throughout the evening; C.J. arranged the coverage unaware that the reporter, Lisa Sherbourn, is Sam's ex-fiancée; flashing back to the speechwriting process, we see the president dining with several of Abbey's medical colleagues, and they ponder the future of cancer research, motivating Bartlet to ask that a section be added to the SOTU in which he calls for U.S. scientists to find a cancer cure by 2010; the staff, convinced that the Congressional censure is weighing heavily on the president, tries to talk him out of this bold but risky proposal.

Season 5, Episode 11: The Benign Prerogative
Original Air Date—14 January 2004
In inexplicably finishing the speech early Toby is left with nothing to do. However, the State of the Union speech needs testing, so Toby flies out to meet Joey Lucas to perform mall tests.

Season 6, Episode 12: 365 Days
Original Air Date—19 January 2005
Leo returns to the White House to help bolster the administration, which is suffering from the loss of Josh, Donna, Will, and the Vice President to the next election campaign. Leo's first day back follows President Bartlet's last State of the Union address, and unlike in previous years there appears to be little momentum on bold, large-scale initiatives. Amidst numerous distractions that dilute the focus of the staff (kidnappings in Colombia, the First Lady's appearance at a NASCAR race, and petulant Congressmen), he challenges the administration on their agenda for their remaining year in office.