Three in the Morning Ramblings

Sleepless Night

Three in the morning. Woke and I’m not ready to go back to sleep. NewYear's Eve is in few short weeks and I would have to say this has been a fine year. Filled with many memorable moments. That is all we can ask. Just fine memorable moments. Hope this streak will continue as the year winds down to rev up for another great one. 

New Dawn

Can’t hold too tightly. Like sands in our hand we realize this is all borrowed time. Moments seem to last forever. A time where we want to live forever. A smile of young nephews when the world wishes him happy birthday. The arms raised up victory of a great performance. Standing tall at the Bee with all eyes resting on you as one spells that word practiced many times over. The sight of a cow chasing after zebras. The time when you see your first sea lion sunning himself on the beach.

A Different Perspective

We stand, we sit, we lie down remembering moments, just wanting to spend forever.

We realize that we have seen and experienced so many things. You wonder what you have given up to get where you are. You look back and smile that this was a fair trade.

Crossing Tracks

Then you think again about what you gave up. Special moments lost forever. Opportunities past of what could have been. You close your eyes and think about what you lost. Deep in moment at what could, what should have been. A place you can never go back to. Missed moments. Angry words. Self-protecting moments with shutting doors. Closed moments where mother and daughters must say goodbye. Where vision is lost?  One wonders what was so troubling that can may one close the door for what seems forever.

It was the Best of Times, It Sucked, too

A divorce. An ex re-marrying. An angry boss. Consideration of finding a new job and being old. . .older. A time where you wonder  whether the neighbor’s  are going to steal their way in your home to harm your kids. You wonder if your Mom and Dad are going to be okay? You wonder of a lost friend’s troubles with Meth is finding them in dark waters.

Passing

You think of an old friend. You wonder if that person you walked passed was him. You think did they pass because they didn’t recognize. Or did they pass quietly because they did recognize you. A silent moment in wonder. Where family move on with their own lives. You wonder whether you will have something like what they have. Where young nieces and nephews have changes in their lives. A new school. A new gym. A new everything.

Season Ends

Where seasons of football comes to a cold end. Where teams huddle up for the last time on a cold, rainy night. Where one watches for the final time. . .again. . . as kids one has coached realize this is the end. No longer playing. The loss of Friday Night Lights. Seniors become Freshmen again. Return to the beginning. A new place. A new home. A new everything. A sadness washes over one. They stand soaked as the downpour continues. Its cold. Its wet. It makes one bring in tightly, wrapping themselves under the torrent of change. Shoes get soaked by the barrage of rain.

Ahhhhhh

One closes in on the the comfort of something. . .of something. . .familiar. Like Home. Where good memories are housed. Where many parties are held. Where late night tv is watched. Where the Christmas trees were decorated. Where the birthday parties reveled. Where family and friends got together and enjoyed. 

Moving Day

Many homes around are emptying. Some for the loss of job. Some for the loss of a loved one. For some, bigger and better. Change is a coming. It is always coming. Sometimes the change is incremental. A slow decline of better to worse. And sometimes it’s a dramatic leap from LA to San Francisco. Where one says so long to loving sister one has shared a tiny room in the back. Some times it is saying, “No more traveling and job to spend time on what is important. A daughter’s love.” It is time to stay close to family because their brother is having a new child. It is time to hold on close to parents that are meeting their twilight.

Charlie Chaplin, Kermit-Style

It is the realization that to shed one’s old life for something new. It is the acceptance of loss in order to gain. Its everything large and small. It is the realization that the precious sands of time, the sand of life, the sands that build beautiful things are fleeting. Always fleeting. It is knowing the harder we hold tightly that they slip faster through our hands. It is this way. It is always this way. 

We think that we have forever. We do. Its just the vehicle we live in, the avatar, it gets worn. A representation of who we are. Who we need to be. Who we no longer need to be. It is all the same body.

Call Home

In many cultures, the snake is represented as a mystical animal. Despite, the Catholic imagery of the snake being negative. The influencing Eve who in turn influenced Adam consequently banishing them from Eden. Snakes in many cultures are said to be good creatures because of their ability to shed their skin. To slough the scales holding into a body that no longer contain their growth.   We are like this. We grow. We develop underneath the derma. We hardened by events, scarred by various life things. It is painful. It is the realization we are growing and the suit that protected one before no longer fits. It is this time where people must slough out the armor, to be vulnerable under the harsh climates. Until the sun and elements hardens the new skin to protect once again the body underneath.

Tour of California

A continuous cycle of beginning and ending. We all must face this. As the cycle winds down, there is the clock ticking away. It seems to get louder at certain points. People amass an energy. The final push. The climactic moment before the resolution. Like a good story that is about to turn the corner for something uncomfortable and wonderful at the same time. A sadness and joy brought together. They say time is relative. It is. I think time is more how connected we are to events all around.

Sunrise/ Sunsets

Well, I wrote much. It was not my intention to scribble so much. Just wanted to fill some moments until I felt sleepy again. I am sleepy again. Good Night again. Good Morning. Again.