Who is Rudolph Valentino?

Number of cars were outside the house last night. Reminded me of my first post. Did not think it was the same situations as before. It was something. Party guests got loud. Heard something heavy was thrown to the ground. Heard some shouting, too. One person screamed, “Don’t care who the Hell you are?” Another voice heard was a lady screaming, “Let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go.” This prompted me to get something to eat. If stuff was going down, I need to get my grub on.

Yesterday, in the afternoon, I attended a baby shower to a distant relative I did not know. Apparently, guests of the party parked in a neighbor’s driveway which blocked the home owners’ car. Guy was righteously pissed. I would be if some asshole parked their car in my driveway. It did not look like a healthy situation. Cousin Jason and I were rolling up and the neighbor, looking to vent at someone, headed to Jason’s car. His stance was one looking for fight. Looked liked it was time to Ready to Rumble.

It did not come to that. Situation was diffused.

It was Diaz de Los Muertes at the Hollywood Cemetery.  Jason and I went for some picture taking. He shot around 500. I was in the mid 400’s. Watching all these altars made me wonder why would someone choose these giant, elaborate settings. Who are these people trying to impress? In a couple of generations, these tombstones and mausoleums will be forgotten and unvisited.  The more distant in time, the harder the bonds to maintain.

I asked my cousin if he knew Rudolph Valentino? He just read what it said on the flag. There was pictures of zombified Marilyn Monroe and I think Betty Page around the festival. I wondered if any the grade schoolers and teenagers knew the cultural significance of the Hollywood icons. One altar display had giant skull and hands with various luminaries. I am sure many people would not know half of those displayed.

There are various reasons why people get angry at parties. There are various why people pass. Some because of accidents. Some pass for a cause. Others just pass. It concerns me why people hold on to such anger. 

Yesterday, the altars people displayed said much. It said much about how the person lived. It said much about the people displaying such displaying these altars. Some were simple and unimaginative. Others were magnificent creations. All were honoring the dead. There are themes in our lives that play out. We are born, we live, then we die. The stories we create have heroes and antagonists. How we face these challenges tell others how you overcome these events. If they did, at all.

If no one remembers, does that mean the story of your life is not worth telling? Does it mean it is not worth sharing? Does it mean that you were alone and no one to share your story with? Was it because you hurt those and do not want you to be remembered?

The Day of the Dead is a time to remember those spirits in our lives. Close and far. It is time to celebrate and rejoice in their memory. It is a time to forgive and remember. It is time to say peace and reflect on one’s own story. Much may have transpired in the one’s life.  I am sure many good things may have happened. Certainly there has been some bad. Still, it is time is to forget to those times at party worrying about a parking space and/ or drunken episode.

I believe it is time to decide if it is time to write a new chapter in your life. Stay the course or alter directions. If you are reading this, then there is still time.  

But hurry.  

Why Do We Go?

Friday. Last weekend of the month. Tonight headed to Littlerock High. Don't suspect it will be a close game. One team is undefeated. The other hasn't one yet. Winds are blowing some. Its carrying the sounds of Knight High School Band. A good band. A fun band. Has a lot of spirit. There is something about spirit.

After attending a few high school sports games, I never realized the importance of it. Seemed campy. However, there is more to it. A certain pride. Parents, friends, and family will face stormy weather. They will sit alone. They will bring everyone and their mother for school spirit. There is a group pride to it. People will shout to their top of their lungs their loved one's names. They will sing songs to the vanquished school. They will stomp their feet on the bleachers. People will crowd. They will rise up to get their team pumped up. Strange people will show up face painted and dressed incredibly inappropriate for School pride.

When a school wins, this pride grows. Consistently there is some thing about it. Cheerleaders grow. Bands develop. People attend. After the game, people subconsciously bellow, "They won" as if they played the game themselves. Kids stay after trying to stay warm, basking in the glory of victory.

However, if and when the team loses. That is another story. Same fair weather fans, quietly say, "They Lost." Letting their team stand alone. No longer take credit for the teams performance.

Fundamental Attribution Bias.

Well, soon I will be headed out. Blanket weather, I think. Winds are blowing and I think its important to go. Not for the win. Not for the game. But for family. Brother is a Coach. Nieces, Nephew, and Sister-In-Law are at the game. Win or Lose, you stick with your team. Bonds are formed and that shared pride gets us through stormy weather.

We are forged by the moments together. Pride for the school and team are what connects us. Could be High School football game. Could be a family gathering. When we look in each other's eyes and connect, we see a spirit that can weather any storm. We grow strong as bonds are built. Every moment we choose the family we want to be close to. We choose who we let in. Despite their faults and weakness. Despite benefits and possible gains. We learn through these moments of winter who will stand by us to keep us warm. Who will sing and dance with us? Who will be there to and stand with you and say, We Lost? Because they know being together is more than just Winning.

Through this, Pride grows and warms us.

This why we go to the games.

Team Speech on when team lets others down. Toby Zeigler West Wing

Minutes left

Little over an hour and this day is over. 

23 hours fifty nine minutes and 59 seconds. Went by fast. Faster than I care to admit. Closed my eyes. Woke up in a shower and then I was driving by a bus that had its blinker on. Car was tail gating me and thought if I stopped abruptly, I would have gotten rear ended.  Next had to make a choice about getting gas now and being late 15 or getting there 3 minutes late and then stressing if I would get to the gas station without pushing. 

Got shocked that there was gas station that had $6 + per gallon, then later realized the place had no pumps. Wasn't sure if the place was abandoned because I saw no traffic inside or out.

Had a psychic moment with a lady named Stephanie. After much deliberation on what to do for her birthday, we thought of the same exact thing she should do for her birthday. Adopt a baby. It was creepy. My arms got goose pimply. It was like when you think of someone then the phone rings and it is that person you were thinking of. Only thing is were in the same room. 

Making fries

Closed my eyes and I found myself in an elevator wondering how did I get here. Still did not want to contemplate too long. Stuff needed to be done. Ran a few errands at Sam's and Target. Picked up a couple cases of water and some rotisserie. Since no meat for me I grabbed a quick lunch.Had a slice of cheese pizza. 

Closed my eyes for sec and I was staring at man making fries the old fashion way. Nothing in a frozen bag. He just got a big spud, placed in the spud slicer and Waaaaa  Laaa. fresh fries. No fregerator time. Went to get some food for the Moms, Inn N Out. Nothing for me. Already got slice and its been no meat for me anyways.  Stopped by 24 on the West side. Wanted to get the Iphone armband, then had to say, “No.” The sale I thought was going on, wasn't. There was a fifty percent off, but it turned out to be for the Android. Was going to get three, but just was no longer. Day too late.Went to the Super Sport in Lancs. It appears Iphones sale ended yesterday. Should have bought them then,  but the front desk girl that would get credit wasn't there. Used to work at Fitness center so I know it counts. Got a bike one instead. Think it worked out for the best.

Lifted instead of rode. Weight is lower than expected and I am okay with what has transpired.

Didn't get much when out. Stuff I was looking for just wasn't there. Another day I guess.

Didn't go to the Writing Club again. Its been a few months since I last been. I want to finish up with a write. A serious one before I go back. Its just these moments, these days go by faster and faster.

Its Buddha’s birthday tomorrow. There is stuff I would like to do tomorrow before heading out. Stop by Santee. Morning Mass. Quick in and out at the gym. Freeway drive than cake and singing with the birthday boy. Hopefully, we'll get back before traffic gets too congested.

It says 55:30. Less than an hour. Finished two post yesterday. Gone one done today. Read an article about an Island where people don’t die. Life is slow and the environment is pretty. Octogenerians are middle aged and those breaking the century are more than abundant. Seems to good to be true.

Worrying about time may be counter productive. Learning about the factors related longevity is great, but here its counter culture. Fast food, instant information, immediate answers and responses are standard.

Honestly been letting the day control me. Not getting done what needs to be done. Letting other things dictate the day. Trying stuff all that I can with time I am given.

Still, guess it is the Type-A thing in me. Every minute feels less than a full minute.

Anyways, Moral of the Day: Yesterday comes faster than we think and it is vital to get a handle of tomorrow so as not let today pass me by wondering what just happened. 

Three Hours Twenty Nine Minutes and Forty One Seconds

Three hours twenty minutes and some change. This is all that is left for this day.

When was that moment when you whole life changed?

Can’t really say anything comes to mind. At this moment, it has been a slow steady series of choices one makes. Been having some time losing weight. Not an uncommon adventure, I gather. Think I lost around thirty pounds these last couple years. Not exactly, barn burning but its been a change. Once lost twenty pounds in four days, then for the rest of wrestling season it was a bitch to lose three. That was decades ago.  I wonder if I can get cut again.

Thinking about the choices I made. Some were brewing for some time. Been thinking about giving meat for awhile. Decided to give up meat and chicken for Lent. Year before that gave up bread. Did it, but this year I wanted more of a challenge. Its been a struggle but its been doable. Choosing salmon and tuna over a burger and fries. Eating more salads and going the bean and cheese burrito routes. Going to Red Lobster versus BJs and Lucilles. Forgoing Original Tommys and Inn N Out for a BK Fish Sandwich. Tofu in Black Bean Sauce and Shrimp Fried Rice from Nopgow.  Sausage and Bacon Pizzas have been substituted for sardines and mushrooms. Sardines too salty. Eggs benedict minus the ham versus Prime Rib Special at Krazy Ottos.

Another choice has been checking at the gym. Been to the gym everyday this year. Today will make it 297 days straight. At times I just went in and checked in. At times, got in at least 20 minutes on the stationary.  There were times when it was something just to go in. Made it part of the lifestyle. Not as gung ho as before, No more two to three hour stints. But still I show up. An old adage keeps coming to mind. Half of the people show up. Half of these people show up on time. Half of these people come prepared with the work done. Half of those people are ahead of the game.

Decide some time ago, there are other things. Getting good grades and being first in everything stopped being in a priority a long time ago. Seeing Rochelle getting sick made me realize, time is too short to deal with what other people want and expect. Letting basketball go. Stop caring about patches for wrestling. Stop swimming because if I wasn’t going to be the best, than there were too many things left to do before kicking the bucket.

Choices like these are ones that do not come with a price. We get these messages. Some come in the form of dream. Some come in the form of a coincidences. We each make these choices and before too long we are far from the place we thought we might be. Long time ago, I was VP of College Republican.  Now, I am decline to state.  Used to watch the Clinton trials on CNN and now I don’t know if I will be voting for Romney.

Two hours and forty minutes left of this day.

Long view of things, I know there is more. People we meet I have feeling we met before and  will meet again. If not in this lifetime, than the next. We meet. We Fall In Love. We say Goodbye. We will continue struggling with the same old issues until we decide to do something different. Learned thing in Counseling Psych. Multi Generational process. Won’t get into it, but we learn how to do things from the ones that raised us. We continue the same pattern because this what we know and what is comfortable.

We become like the one before us.

That is until we decide to do something different. We learn the Lessons that We need to learn than we go on to the next one.  For some the process can be immediate and spontaneous. For others, it is long and measured process with several falls from grace. Still once the choice of do something else happens, it will certainly build momentum and critical mass is achieved. All these thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes become altered until we are no longer the same person we once were.

Don’t think these changes are not unplanned. I believe there is a plan, a design. Like a course of river, there are forces out there guide sculpt history. Individual history, group history, world history.

Always loved the Twilight Zone episode with Russell Johnson (May remember him. He was the Professor from Gilligan’s Island) Episode was called “Back There” Twilight Zone "Back There" episode Google the storyline to get the gist. Anyways, certain events cannot be changed dramatically. Certain things are directed and guided by the Fates, i.e.,  who we meet, when we meet, and when it’s over.  Some events are preordained.

Still we have Choices and Free Will. Like a butterfly choosing to flap its wings, these minute choices can make a world of differences.  Choosing to make a change.  Change of past behavior. Change in thinking and attitude. Change in behavior and beliefs. Change to become something different, some thing more. We choose to show up, choose to be there even late. Choose to become prepared. Choose to be ready for tomorrow.

Why? Because there is only this amount time left. 

Today

Fall is outside and I can't wait. From a distance, hums from a mower sings as a much need haircut is given. Winter will drive the green lawn to sleep. To hibernate, to shut down for the spring. Dogs bark as walker passes by. Dressed in lime green outfit. Arms pumping as she fights the body doldrums. Less sun causes some to feel sad. Carbohydrate burning are lowered as the body fights to keep warm. Storing excess sugars to adipose. Like bears before winter loading up for the cold winter ahead.

It will get dark sooner and the season will demand more bundling. Leaves will brown and fall off the trees. Heaters will turn on and the homes will close to keep the heat. A howl from a distance calling out for all to hear, its getting cold and be ready.

No longer live on the East Coast. That was cold then. Snow mountains would be pushed to the sidewalks to allow streets to be cleared. Cars would be covered as the snow would make it impossible for one to get in. Salts on the street would turn black with soot. Tearing up the undercarriage of low profile cars. Snow ball fights are what I miss, but that is all because it is yesterday.

No longer live in yesterday. Today is where I'm in. It getting colder now and sleep is easier to get. Cold winds, a nice fire, and warm cocoa are the magic elixir for lack of sleep. Body readily goes to shut down mode. Like a caterpillar in her cocoon, we bundle up and sleep. Dream of a new dawn, a new day. Gathering our strengths. Go through mighty transformation while one sleeps and slumbers. Our body changes for the future ahead.

Something better lies ahead. A dream of Forward and Hope inspires one to close one's eyes and imagine something better. Something wonderful. Something that causes a shift. One meets Nox, he commands the Dream. We dance in this world throwing away boundaries. Disregarding hesitation. Letting the subconscious rule and create. Here the mind works mightily filtering out the unnecessary. Letting it be reduced, Letting catabolism of the unnecessary be leveled to the minutiae. Here the building blocks of tomorrows dreams manifest.

Today is a new day. Its time for yesterday's dreams to become a reality.

My Tree Outside

Leaves are rustling outside my window. House is quiet. No one is home. TV if off. The occasional car drives past. Its sweater weather. Days like this I am truly grateful for all that I have been given.

Undercurrents are streaming along. Rough waters underneath. Pushing this way and that. Can't see how it effects, but knowing its there makes it quite. . .calming. No matter what precaution one takes, the danger is always there of being swept away. Like the leaves outside being pushed to the left and the right. It is relaxing.

Green leaves are yellowing. Soon they will brown. Connected by the tree holding her tightly. Branches and the tree sway. The bark, her shield, covering the xylem and phloem. Layers of skin strengthen and harden with each blow by storm so far away. Bending and swaying breaks the fiber of the tree. These are microfractures that scar and strengthen. Like a body builder pushing weight, the myosin and actin crossbridges break and scar. Strengthened when allowed to heal. Someday it may grow to be an enormous. Someday the strong winds may topple her. Demands on the tree outside is weakened and made stronger with each gust.

Via the capillary effect, waste is removed and nutrients feed the assaulted tree. Like the veins and arteries, the xylem and phloem allow the leaves' thirst to be quenched and tree to be fed. It starts with a little wrapping that emerges from the branches. It starts small, searching and expanding. It expands. Her leaves provide a la photosynthesis. Thin energy converters. Converting carbon dioxide to good old O2. Helping the planet breathe. From a distance. leaves seem inconsequential. Many think that they are messy and to be picked up by gardeners and dispensed to the gray garbage unit. They are our alveolar. Small, many, and vital. They allow us to breathe.

Below, many branches search and expand. Fighting challengers for much needed liquid. They battle with the Oligochaeta for nutrients. Trees must compete a never ending battle. It looks calm just standing there. Tall and proud. Our view is limited. We do not see the quiet life and death battle waging. Waging against fungus, fires ,and construction. Insects of all sorts. Environment and people.

However, my tree is she made of sterner stuff. She will bend this way and that. Mastering the undercurrents above and below. She stands. Her bark protecting against all comers. She is scarred, with inscriptions of love. She is made stronger, despite our best intentions.

Then the leaves die. No longer able to hold on. No longer able synthesize. She will eventually lose the battle. Perhaps time, perhaps a mighty gust. Perhaps she will just want to let go. Still, she has fought and competed. Stood strong against the mighty forces all around. My tree will die eventually. We all do. But not on this day. Nor any time soon. She has remained calm while the workings of the world has done its best to take her down. Defiantly, she survives.