Let You Be You

“I want to speak. . .This is more important than re-election. . .I want to speak now. . .Take them off the leashes. . .Let You Be You. . .I serve at the pleasure of the President. . .We  are going to lose some of these battle. We are going to raise the bar. . .Let that be our legacy.”—West Wing (Let Bartlett Be Bartlett)

Things Amiss
Been waking up late. Not the way I like it. Barely missing the sunrise. Been late on the sunsets, too. Not knowing where any of this coming from. My promises have not changed, but I've been slipping. Maybe its because I am going to church more. Maybe its because the sunrises and sunsets are happening sooner and later. Maybe its because sleeping later. Whatever, it is. Need to re-adjust and step right. 

Events Ahead. . .
Jill’s last performance as lead in Our Town is Saturday. Manny’s fight is the same time. Plus, I have to give a ride at the same time. I really want to do all three, but I am left with a quandary. Three days to do something about it. Not sure what I can do. Nothing looks it will change, except time to event gets shorter and shorter. Couple of birthdays are coming up and I haven’t heard from D yet about lunch today. Beds a mess with all this junk that I need and want to clean. Put it all here knowing that I'd deal with it or sleep in messy circumstances.

Feeling Low, Needs Some Juice
Gym time last night forced me to leave early. Feeling the sweats coming on and a bit light headed. Blood sugar turned out to be in the low 50’s. Not good. I left early to get something to eat. I left my money and meal replacement in the car. Going out and getting back meant losing my bike and leaving 20 minutes left for the workout. I’m off pace for 300 miles. It would take some effort to pull it off at the stage I’m at.

Morning mass starts in an hour and I am not sure if I will go. It would be a good, too. I am on a road. So many possibilities. So many obligations. So what? Actually, its all stuff. Nothing. All of its important. All of it has purpose and meaning. All of it will effect who I am big and small, long and short. It all matters.

Good Intentions. Good Results
Sleep early. Attend church more. Enjoy performances with family. Exercise. Blog. All these things matters. All things. You reading the post matter. You not reading this post matters. You spending time with loved ones matter. You spending time later on with loved one matters. Watching the fight. Watching the my cousin’s last performance. Making time to visit my new-found family on there only weekend down matters. Working out 5 days a week. Working out 7 days a week matters.

This weekend is a juxtaposition. Dad’s family side meeting Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Mom’s family side meeting is Saturday. Kev’s and his in-laws are down the street watching the Pacquiao fight the same night. I'm sure there is many more important events and it is a critical time. Yet, I have no fear nor worries. Putting Faith in the process, I integrated this belief in my core. “Trust In the Universe, She’ll Take Care of You.”

Paradigm Shifts
All of us have stuff to do. All of us have a finite time to do them in. Sure, a little finagling must be done here and there. Yet, at times like these one wishes that we can be at multiple places at once. I am reminded that scientist took pictures of an atom in several different places at the same time.  Can we do that? Be many places at once. Being two—three, four, five--things at the same time. We are universe in itself. We are a multi-verse. Radical thinking. Yet a skill that would be much appreciated.

Observation plays a decisive role in the event and . . . the reality varies, depending upon

whether we observe it or not. —Werner Heisenberg

This quote comes from a DVD that stirred many questions and answered many of them, too. What the Bleep Do We Know? I have only watched and pay attention to portions of it, but I suspect it will be one of my favorites. 

Huh? Where Did This Leap Come From?

Where’s the connection? From daily life events to quantum theory, it’s there. It’s the duality. Light as a particle; Light as a wave. It’s the acts of synchronicities discussed by Carl Jung. It’s the act of observing the particle with scientific objectivity to later learn the very act of observing skews the objectivity. It’s the power of intentions by Emoto’s water crystal. It’s all these metaphysical occasions and scientific discoveries that lends itself to big and small of things. Miyamato Musashi said learning just that. The Big and small of it all

Life is more than the randomness of personal events. Like balls on a billiard table, cause and effect. Yet there is purpose-ness amongst this chaos. There is a logic to it. The Universe speaks to us all. As we ask questions about the meaning of it all, we discover--we get answers.

Not since very recently did I become Faith-follower, I won’t say which aspect because I am still on this visionquest. I am learning that I am a very spiritual and intuitive person. My word for myself in my new found group is “Faith.”

I am learning the power of prayer. I am learning “Ask and You Shall Receive” maxim is very true. Recent scientific discoveries are finding this to be truer. My own experiences have borne this out. Maybe not in the time-line we like. I still have doubts. I think this a good thing tact to take. Fact is this may be just a bunch of hoo-haa brouhaha haha haha. (Sorry, I got the hahas) Maybe I am being sold a proverbial bill of goods. Maybe I am having medication induced fog. 

However, maybe its right.

I fall back to this saying, “Some things are true whether you believe or not.” Never had a problem with science and religion. Always thought both were just searching for the truth. Learned awhile back people argue all the time. People often don't listen. Just want to hear themselves talk. Just want you to buy into their dream, their own reality. Despite all the babbling and bluster, one discovers they are saying and searching for the same thing: Meaning.

Hope that you, too, with all the activities oh-so important activities in your life, you will learn that it all counts. And most importantly, it all matters. Nothing is not-nothing. There is never nothing going-on. The Universe will provide. Meaning is everywhere. Just got to decide to do—or not do. You got to decided to accept or reject. Messages are being sent. Just got to listen to your own personal message. You go to Decide what that Special Meaning is. 

I will leave at that. 

Namaste

Musical Chairs: Parking Lot Observations

Got to Gym It
Eyes are heavy. Suns not so bright. Got an hour of gym time and two hours of routine. I hear the stereo of the corolla in back. He’s looking for a parking space. Like a shark, circling the ocean looking for its next meal. Lights blinking. Looks like Corolla found one. A couple walks past. One arm lifts. I hear a chirp. Another car awaits. He’s behind the Corolla. A white Echo, I think. Its red lights are on waiting to pass. The car ahead is waiting for the very scarce parking space to open up. Night lights come on as the rain subsides. Little sprinkles dot my windshield. 

He's Got No Game
A lady in black opens her car door. A boy bounces his basketball. Hoodie on and blue cap juts out. Skinny legs with green tube socks. Probably not that good. His handles are weak. Bounces the ball like a 2^nd grader. I doubt he’s got game. Right hand dribble. He bounces too high. Not a guard. Certainly no white chocolate. Jason Williams if you don't know. Not the guy going to jail. The one with the dragon tattoo. A spot opens. Lady in black leaves. A car races and makes an odd turn. Parking spaces is angles down ward and he’s heading upward. Sprinkle, sprinkle. The rain hits harder. 

Kangols and Thongs: Uuh, Okay?
Grey Taurus this time. She is African American wearing a golfers hat. Kangol, I think. Her jeans ride up her mid-waist. She has green top and mid jacket. No fashion sense at all. Probably getting a ship today. Membership that is. She's wearing jeans and no gym bag. Walking in as if she has an appointment. Her red thong in back stands out. Unfortunate me. 

One In, One Out
The Mercedes in front of me leaves. Filipino, I think. CL something. I see the cars race. Person backs up and angles awkward like the gray corolla. Parking downward and driving upward. All they need to do is drive forward some and back into the space. This way they don’t have to stop and turn and re-adjust for turning in so close. He walks away. Grey Carolla guy has a black backpack. Glasses. He has a dial lock on his side. Big Man. Big Belly. Best Buy Blue shirt. Didn’t see a ring. He drives a black accord. Car looks clean. No mess inside from across the way. He has a carpet dashboard cover. He must be neat.

It’s close to six and I haven’t gotten my nap yet and I still don’t have much time to write. Accident. That was close. White Ford Tundra driving down and down the aisle. Maroon Corolla backing up. Another space is coming open. Man in gray beanie has an empty water bottle in his mouth. Driving a mini car. Wearing a white t-shirt and gray sweats. Former wanna-be gangsta, newly reformed. Maybe found religion. What kind of car? Kia, I think.

Black Camarro rumbles in takes white Kia’s place. Hispanic man. Glasses I see. Short hair.  Dark brown-suede leather jacket. Walks a little confident. Military maybe or ex-police. Short cut, military cut. He doesn’t walk confidently. Probably military.

Not AVC
Grey corolla lady is back. She has paper in hand with a plastic covering for her new membership card. I'm a good guesser. Thong, blast out. I'm blinded. She needs a ship, too. Some people should not wear anal floss. Her pants are too tight. Or ass is too big. Some people like back. I'm not one. Either way my stomach feels uneasy. She has a student sticker. Doesn’t look AVC. Long Beach, perhaps. I don’t get that CSUN feel.


Body Language Messages: Can't Drive or I Should've Known Better
Oops!!! She doesn’t look as she peals back in a hurry. She almost hit the Black Camarro man. He points two fingers to his face, specifically his eyes. It means, “Bitch, Pay Attention.” A grey Ford Tundra waits for her too leave.

Ford Tundra is smart he's backing into the open space. Maybe, not so smart. Grey corolla thong lady not very confident backing up. Almost hits grey Ford Tundra, too. His windows are tinted. I can still sense he is giving her, "Bitch, Pay Attention gesture." No, I'm sorry. Its the smack to his head, "I'm so stupid. I just realized this Bitch Can't drive" gesture. I get these confused. They start the same way. Hand motion to the head gets me all the time. Oh, well.

Gray Hoodie
Grey Ford Tundra is smart guy. A gym rat, I suspect. Former high school athlete, I'm guessing. Football, not QB. Maybe tight end, maybe receiver. He's Caucasian so I am guess fair speed. Runs a forty in 4.7 or 4.85 seconds. Definitely a starter. Good hands, I'm guessing. Hoodie on and Dasani in hand. His truck is raised. Obscenely high. Maybe, he's got redneck in him. Looks clean. No visible tatts. No red neck stickers in back. Probably a Quartz Hilly or Antelope Acre guy. Highland High perhaps. Certainly not AV. Doubt he's from East side. Bet he’s got fam bam in Simi or the OC. Definitely the Santa Clarita/ Valencia. 

Class Mats or Class Mates?
Another maroon Benz with a spoiler drives by. Looked like a lady was sharking around. No, sharking is more of a pool term. It is when the opponent intentionally causes commotion to mess with the other sticker as they stroke it. A white Benz is circling, too. Green Escalade is in back. I hear his rumbling of his engine. Its close to six on a Monday night. Maybe its yoga or kickboxing now. Don’t think it is Zumba. Mostly ladies would be in the parking lot. They jockey for positions in front of the aerobic studio so they can get mirror space. Usually close to the instructor. They usually are aerobic veterans with their core of aerobic friends that are soccer moms looking to escape parenthood for a short 60 minutes while their kids play in the jungle gym of kids club. Its getting darker now. Clouds are moving slower.

I hear a shout. 

Stop. . .In the Name of Love
A mom shouts at her 3 year old that was racing outside to kids club. Escalade has done another circle. Kid was not even paying attention. Could have been ugly. Cars are driving up and down the lanes looking for precious parking space before class starts. It's like scoring a touchdown or winning the lottery. Not the Big Spin win. Just $10 winner. I hear a car engine start. Its red lights come on. Like blood in the oceans. Cars pick up speed to the empty space.

I Like Raisenettes
A short-haired African woman walks up the aisle towards the gym. She is wearing a purple dashiki. Maybe its for lent. Maybe she wants attention. She looks like the California Raisin mascot. Lights for the 24 hour sign come on. I bet all my cardio equipment is filled. There’s six recumbent and six normal life cycle. Another Ford tundra halts. Red light comes on. Someone must be leaving. Its almost six. Class starts in a minute. The jostling hordes are already in the aerobic door. I can just feel them a couple hundred feet away. I look around no parking space. Ah. I hear a car start. It’s a gray Dodge Caravan. Cars are racing up and down the aisle looking for space.  Almost accident. Left blinker comes on. Its green Toyota guy that wins this round. You have bested me this time, young Skywalker. Its like Musical Chairs. They keep circling and circling until a spots opens up. Then all these cars race.

Chirp here. Honk there. Ladies from the 5 o’clock classes are leaving. Betting yoga. They have their green and blue mats wrapped up. Black Corolla is backing up. A trunk opens. Nissan Yukon rumbles by. Engine sounds angry. Must have driven up and down this aisle four times now.

Freshman 15 Walks By
A group of college walk by. Two couples. All with their freshman fifteen. One has her white towel around her neck. Like Sly Stallone's Rocky. Another was a football player. Lineman probably. Don’t think he’s at his playing weight. I bet he’s still eating as if he were playing in high school. They are all wearing clothes from high school. Its snug, too snug.

Making Claims
My blackberry humms. Email or Facebook alert. I don’t answer. Almost 1000 words and I haven’t said much. Well, these are the going-ons of the 24 Hour Super Sport parking lot Monday night at 5:45 pm. Another almost accident.  Angry cars still are circling by. Got to make claim to the recumbent.