Most Memorable Family Vacation Happened At A Rest Stop

Homeward bound, we were on the last legs of our two week, multi-state, multi-country road trip. Mom, Dad, Kevin, Jason, “Nanay” ,“Tatay” and I were ready for home. Driving in the van was fun, but there is such a thing as “Too much” family time. 

Saw many sights for the first time family vacation. Hoover Dam’s green angels, Las Vegas’s Bellagio Fountains, and San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge. Rode on a mule in the Grand Canyon. Sailed on my first ship in British Columbia. Watched Old Faithful erupt in Yosemite. However, the most memorable moment happened at a camp rest stop. Yeah, at a Camp Rest Stop.

We decided to stretch our legs and freshen up. Readying lunch at the picnic area, we had sandwiches and sodas spread out.  Dad was napping. Mom was cooking. “Nanay” was brushing her hair. “Tatay” was soaking his teeth—dentures—in a red cup. Kids were playing.

Finishing up lunch, Dad finally woke up from his nap. A Hobo came to our table and asked for food and drink. Dad still groggy handed him a sandwich and cup to drink. A few minutes later, the Hobo started screaming and shouting at us. He kept on shouting, “Is this a joke? What is wrong with you people?”

Speechless, our jaws dropped by his reaction. We were stunned.  “Tatay” angry was so mad he forgot to put his teeth in. An act of kindness and this is how we get appreciated. Nice.

Red cup in hand it looked like the Hobo was going to throw it at us. Instead, he turned around, walked away, and threw his arms up in disgust. Red cup went flying into the trees.

“Tatay” was looking around for something. Then his face turned white. Guess, he realized why the Hobo was angry. Chasing after the Hobo, I thought, “Grandpa, my “Tatay,” was going to throw down.” Apparently, Dad accidentally gave the wrong cup. The cup he handed him was the red cup “Tatay” used to  soak his dentures. Ooops.

After half an hour searching, we found his teeth. Stuck in a tree. No one said anything on the rest of the trip. Just every twenty minutes, the whole van would erupt with laughter. Running joke, every meal next two days, we all would look into each others’ cup. Needed to check, no teeth inside the cup. Again, my most memorable moment of the vacation happened at a rest stop.

What's Next?

Two stages done. Time for listening to others has passed.

Stage 1 Your mom said, “Do this.” Your dad said “Do that.” So you did them. Take a bath. Brush your teeth. Wear this. Wear that. Aim straight. Flush. Make your bed. Fold your clothes.  Don’t play with fire. They told you this. They told you that. Mastered these skills you did. You said, “What’s next?”

Stage 2 Added bigger challenge.  Write this down. Draw this here. Color between the lines. Run this way. Run that way. Read this chapter. Study. Take this test. Done here. Now go there. Write this down. Draw this. Run this way. Run that way. Read this chapter. Study. Take this test.

Master these skills you did. Tried more things. You learned you weren’t alone. Friends you made. Like Mom and Dad and Teacher X, Your friends said wear this. Wear that. They dared you. Jump this way. Hit that way. Run here. Run there. They dared you. They dared you to talk to her. They dared you to hold her hand. They dared you to kiss. You dared. You did them. You said, “What’s next?”

Another voice you heard inside. Quiet, but growing. Getting your bearings. Before you knew it, you had to leave again. Go to school here. Take this class and that. Write this down. Read this chapter.  Study. Take this test. You tried it again, but this it didn’t keep.

No worries. No shame. It’s where you met. It was time for that. That voice inside grew. Still a change was needed and so you left. Answered the call you did.  It wasn’t your mom. Wasn’t your dad. It was drill sergeant now telling you take a bath, brush your teeth, wear this, wear that, aim straight, flush, make your bed, fold your clothes. Fire. Its fun. Told you this. Told you that. Mastered these skills you did. Your tour was over. You said, “What’s next?”

Returned home you did. Tried school again, but didn’t take. Again. Another reason for this visit. Wasn’t school. It was her. Listened to that growing voice you did. You asked, “What’s Next?” She said “Yes.” You were asked. You said, “I do.”

Left you did. Your country called. You answered. Three years past on this tour and on the summit you sit. No one to guide. No one to drive you. Voices around are silent. This scares you. No Mom. No Dad. No Drill Sergeant. No Wife Around. No one to tell you what to do. You ask, “What’s next?”

No one to tell you this. No one to tell you that. Instructions you got. Lessons you learned. Companions and Compadres await. Silence on the summit you sit. No guide, no driver. “It’s cold. It’s quiet,” you say. Quietness is unfamiliar. Its really your friend. It all quiet now. Alone atop wanting guidance, wanting to be driven.  Like this, you don’t. 

Quiet--First two stages of your life are done.  Commitment kept. The guides you chose have done their best. Friends and family await. The next four stages are yours to set. The time for people telling you what to do is over. Advice they will give, but you must decide. Nothing happens without your okay.  No one to blame. No one to pat you on the back. No one is driving. No one is moving. It’s quiet. It's you’re turn.

You’ve been guided. You’ve been told. Driver’s seat is open and someone needs to fill. We all look to you. Its quiet atop of the cold mountain summit. We’re waiting for you. Next four are your own. Fly fast they will. Look at your parents. Look at your friends. Hair is grayer. Waistline are wider. Their journeys may soon end. 

Children spring up like weeds. Flowers they are. On a journey like you. Their journey already began. Life, your life, is ahead of you and you need to drive. If you choose, guidance you will give. If you choose, you will tell others, “Do this, do that.”

Next four stages are your own. How you drive? Who you bring? What stops you will make? What side trips now?  Stops, flats, detours you will take. Accidents may happen. Road kills may occur. Tune ups, oil changes, gassing up. Stranded you may become. May need a new car. May need a new ride. May need new passengers. May need to double back because something was wrong.

Before too long, you will find yourself on another cold, mountain summit. Friends may be there. Family may be there, too. Your turn to drive will end and the life you live belong to the next two stages of life. You will ask again, “What’s next?”

You will discover that growing voice inside is/was all around. You will discover you were never alone. You will discover you were always guided. Those bumps in the roads, the flats, and detours. Accidents and road kills had purpose. You were passenger and driver during these times all along. You will discover those starts and stops were your instructions to do this and do that. Course corrections and stops were your mom, your dad, your teachers, your sergeants, your wife, your family, your friends. These were your guides and that you were never alone.

  

Its quiet on the summit of the mountain because the Universe waiting for your answer. She’s asked, “What’s next?”

You are missed. See you in June.

Ravenous

Appetite returned.

It’s been days and the smile in his eyes returned. Throat was still raw, but the worst was over. Couldn’t breathe the days before. Chest congested. Coughing clear phlegm. Sneezing like a sprinkler. A half roll of toilet player lay next to his pillow. His floor littered with crumbled up snot swipes. 

Still, it was better.

His stomach ached from his strained breathing. Eyes watered less and his nose was raw red from his many exhales.  Air smelled better. Its been awhile. He hadn’t smelt a thing for days. Short blasts of abuterol gave moments of reprieve these long days. Couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t breathe. Gasping for air, his whole body was congested.

Slept in the bathroom for bits. The running shower acted as humidifier. Pelted by the streams from the shower head, it eased the achiness he felt. Like mini massager on his lactic acid filled body. Beads of water washed out soreness inside. Slept for an hour. First good sleep in days.

No more soup left. Chicken Noodle, Turkey and Rice. Tomato Cream to warm his inside. All were gone. Used them all up. In one minute, out the other in seconds. Medicine for the everyday. Hot tea with Lemon. Gargled salt water. Vicks vapor rub worn as perfume.

His hair still ached from the restless night. Strand this way, Curly cue that way.He was a yeti. It was a storm and he lost this fight. Found in the night by the alley cat searching for food, but finding his head instead. Not a pleasant sight, I’ll admit. Looking like something the cat dragged in, but changed his mind. Beat up, turned out, ripped to shreds. A roller coaster from a thousand feet up. This how he felt these last couple of nights.

Started with a scratch in the throat. Thought it was allergies at first, so he kept his bedroom window closed.  Thought it would subside, but it didn’t. Losing sleep made him less cognizant. Couldn’t think straight.  Thought it was the food. Nope, he began to ache and wanted to sleep. Laid down early that night. Woke up with an eruption in his pants.

No, he was lucky. He got to the bathroom in time.

Door shut.  Couldn’t reach the light and make to seat. He chose to sit instead in the dark. Its probably best. Didn't quite hit the target, not unless you count lid.

Judy yelped. Awaken from her sleep. The manicured mutt was startled by horrible noise in the bathroom. A coughing and a scream.  Judy just put her head down and closed her eyes. The canine thought to herself, one orifice at a time. Humans, don’t they know they will pop a blood vessel.  The coughing and screaming continued, but Judy was fast asleep.

Its over now. 

Fever broke and his appetite returned. Good thing, the smell was getting bad. Not that he could tell. It was the way family’s eye winced. It was how Judy refused to “Come.” It was the way his eyes watered when nothing made him sad. Its appetite time and time to shower. Fever has broke, let the new day begin.

Just after the shower, though.

Jocelyn Seizing, A Moment (5 of 5)

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Gurgling again. It wasn't Jocelyn this time.

Death Rattle and Roll

The young man with the Justin Bieber haircut was seizing again. He began twisting in his chair and was about to fall out. The young man with the choke hold was losing grip and I sensed his desperation.  Went over to the curly haired man and asked if needed assistance. His voice seemed calm, but his eyes were troubled. He didn't answer me, he was still on the phone. He was losing control and he needed help. Guess all that gurgling and coughing got to him

People Change, We All Go Through Transformation

It finally got the other people’s attention. Thank goodness. One lady asked if he can use some water. Another walked to front of the store to get a manager. Another helped prop the seated one up. The young man, was really a boy. 

Saying All the Right Things, But He Needs Guidance. He needs a Sidekick

He said,"Everything is alright. Mike has done this before." Devon, the curly haired one had brown napkins on the next seat. He said again. "I've handled this before. But I had doubts. Normally, when someone is helping another get through a seizure, it common practice to place the victim down. Holding them up by the neck,I'm pretty sure, is not in the manual. Plus, lying one down, can ease vomiting problems. Putting your hand in a seizing person’s mouth may not be so wise. Could lose a finger or two.

Devon was a young man. People lose brain power in time of crisis. He needed help and I just read my comic book graphic novels. Plus, I just saw Thor. I was pumped. Now is time to be a hero. Devon was Batman. and I was going to play Robin. (Nightwing if your avid comic book reader). 

I Get By. . .

Started humming as more people arrived. It was that Beattle classic, written by Paul McCartney, from the Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Heart Clubs Band album, “Oh I get by with a little help with my friends” It seemed to lighten the mood, which is always good in a tense situation.

Had to commend Devon for being so calm during the episode. Its not easy dealing with a seizure at such a young age, actually any age. Spoke to their mom about what happened. Spoke to Mike and said it happens. No tears, no worries. Gave Devon a pat on the back and gave some advice in the future on how to handle the situation if it happens again. And No I did not discuss the finger in the nose. 

What I Learned Today

Moral of the story is that we got lucky this day. Could have turned out a lot worse. We pick up things every single day. We learn things that may seem useless. May seem childish. However, life has a way putting us in position armed to make a difference. With Comic Book dreams and knowledge of palmistry. We think it doesn't matter. It does. It all counts. We may think we do not have an impact. It does and we do. 

Reading or writing about heroes may give one the courage to step up when others pretend nothing wrong. Maybe it is that little bit a trivia one picks that can help in the problem solving process. Maybe it is calling 911 or offering a drink of water. We all have something to contribute. Just knowing that other people are there helps us get by. 

Another piece of advice: Pick your own nose, not others. 

Jocelyn Seizing, A Moment (4 of 5)

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“Call 911” I shouted at the front desk receptionist,. Caught Jocelyn before hit the the floor. "Get Glitter, too."

Joys of the Gym

Working at the gym, one becomes familiar with calling 911. There was the heart attack when the guy did too much cardio. As we were sitting and talking, he became diaphoretic and speech became slurred. We were talking about his recent balloon pump surgery and I thought, “Here we go again.” 

Other time was when 15 year old kid, just collapsed in front of me. His breath smelt sweet as I was starting the ABC’s of CPR. Airway, breathing, circulation. Must have been diabetic something. I am not sure.

Anyways, Jocelyn was staring into space. That gurgling sound again. Might be swallowing her tongue. Thought about fishing with my finger. Decided against. I feared she was going to have a grand mal in a second.

Heard a Message On the Radio

Earlier that day, on the way to work, I heard on the radio about the process of seizure. It discussed the electrical process in the brain short circuiting. There was discussion about laughing and epilepsy. When am I ever going to use this? Must have not gotten story right. This can't be right.

Glitter, the head trainer, and I put Jocelyn down on the floor. Her stare started to glaze and she was going seize.  Then I did it. I stuck my finger in her nose.

Huh?

Glitter looked at me. Joceyln  eyes focused, and her face lit up. I just sat there. . . with snot on my finger. Yeah snot, not mine. Jocelyn’s snot. Gross!!!  She sat up and all three of us looked at the clear glaze of my index finger. It was a sight. A pause hung between us, as if something magical was about to happen.

It did.

We all started laughing. Oh my Gosh, didn’t think it would work, but if we could make her laugh maybe we can disrupt the electrical storm in her brain. It is not like she is an electrical outlet. Who knows? Just try it. Stupid things we rationalize and do, I can’t explain. 

(THIS IS NOT ACCEPTED MEDICAL PRACTICE. I DO NOT ADVISE, CONDONE, OR PROFESS THIS IS AN ACCEPTABLE MEDICAL PRACTICE OF HANDLING A SEIZURE. CALL 911 AND FOLLOW THEIR PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED DIRECTIONS)

All I can say with certainty, is I just got lucky. We all did. 

AGAIN, CALL 911 IF A PERSON IS HAVING A SEIZURE. Here's a link on what to do with a seizure Help-Someone-Who-Is-Having-a-Seizure link.

Sticking your finger in another's orifices will not guarantee friendship or stop seizures. This I can say with certainty. (Well you might make a friend. Depends if you use your knuckles and give it a corkscrew twist. I digress again. Sorry)

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Jocelyn Seizing, A Moment (3 of 5)

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. . .Until the Next Episode

Thought of Jocelyn. We worked together at the gym. She was a good trainer. Thin and had a gimpy arm. She had a birth defect and was prone to seizures. At times, she tried to hide it. I remember most is her curly, curly hair. Not a great trainer, but had a good heart. Guess, this why people liked her.

We were talking at the front desk at the Van Nuys store. She finished with her client. Third one in a row and she hadn't had lunch yet. She looked a little peeked and I feared that she might be pushing herself. She’s had episodes before and well. . .I got that vibe again.

Gurgling sound brought me back. I can't be the only one hearing this.

Just Didn't Seem Right

Stared at the two young men in the death embrace in Barnes & Nobles again. It looked more like he was trying to hold the person up, then strangling him. That gurgling sound and the hand on the throat gave me doubts, though. Curly haired man had a calmness and deliberateness.  It was just not adding up. 

Seated one wearing the blue shirt was a bit overweight. He did not struggle, but he shook. His arms were to his side, but his eyes were white. Eyes must have rolled back. Mucous was coming out of his nose, like glazed milky gummy worms. A gurgle sound again and the milky worms would retract back into his nostrils. Not a pleasant sight. 

When one is choking, their hands instinctively go to their neck. (Thank you, NCIS and JFK Zapruder film) He coughed and shook, but I sensed a practiced deliberateness in the standing one. The young, curly haired  man put his right hand in the other’s mouth. This didn't seem right. The seated one is choking and he doesn’t know CPR. Okay I thought “CPR powers activate.” Not the most rousing or original comic book battle cry, but it did set off the fight-or-flight response in me.  

Thought to myself, why aren’t the other people doing anything? Are they Blind? Am I the only one seeing this? They were in the Barnes and Nobles Starbuck’s Café. No one was doing anything. Why???

Answering the Call

He fished in his companion’s mouth with his finger. Relationship between the two I still hadn't figured out. Maybe brother, maybe friend. Then, he reached for his pant’s pocket and pulled out his IPhone. He dialed with one hand held his companion with the other. Probably not felony. Thank goodness for that. Still this young man needed help. Guess, it was Thor calling or maybe it was Gabriel, either way it was time to get up. The blue shirted kid was shaking and coughing. The other one must be calling 911.

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Jocelyn Seizing, A Moment (2 of 5)

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Curly Hair With Outstretched Arm

As I read, couldn't help notice a lady with a bad perm staring at her hands. Every couple of minutes she would put the book down, look at her hand, then look at the book. Her left hand was skinnier than the other. Gimpy. Thought she was having a heart attack at first. Book in her right hand, then she would hold her other arm stiffly. She rolled her wrist as if in pain. Then I noticed the title of the book and it made sense. Palmistry. 

She traced her hand from top to bottom. She was measuring life line. Head lines go from left to right. Folds in her palms told her destiny. "Girdle of Venus" and "Simian Crease" she mouthed quietly to herself. Noticed the cross around her neck and I thought, Funny. Roman Catholic I guessed, Filipino, based on the tonality of her phone call. During times of Inquisition, the idea of astrology, palmistry, and the reading entrails would mean excommunication or at the least a beating.

Useless, Really?

Started thinking Jocelyn. Started thinking about a post to write. We pick up seemingly useless pieces of information all the time. We are sponges. We take time reading stuff that we probably will never use in life. We do this all the time. Palmistry, astrology, and Feng Shui. Useless, but fun to read. But really, is it useless?  We can dissects one's personality by their birth date and creases on their hand. We can learn how to adjust one's life, by rearranging the furniture in his home. Centuries these practices existed and we dismiss them. Its a bit like reading comics. We think it is for children. In many ways, its more than that. Its a way how people relate.

Problem Still Here, Felony Again

Then I heard it again. It was deep, rattling gurgling sound. No, not Jocelyn. It was a young man standing over the seated one. Actually, I think they were either seniors in high school or freshmen in college. One’s hair was a curly, like younger version of less buff Carrot Top and Hispanic. His hand was at the other’s throat, arm outstretched,  and it looked from a distance that he was strangling the other one. Gurgling sound was a bit unnerving.

Someone is committing a felony—an assault—in  Barnes and Nobles and no one is doing anything.  Kitty Genovese again. At a gas station I frequented few months back had an incident. Crazy husband sprays gasoline over his and proceeded to follow her with a lighter. It happened few minutes after I left. 

It seems so surreal when crazy stuff happens right in front of your face. Time slows down and you are watching a tragedy take place. I’ve been in a couple of car accidents before and watching this young man choking this other man in the store, time just slowed.

Thought of Jocelyn again. 

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Jocelyn Seizing, A Moment (1 of 5)

Might be a problem here.

ASSUME

Maybe it was the coughing and gurgling sound that got my attention. Maybe it was the way the young man with curly hair was standing over the seated in one in blue. Maybe his outstretched arm out pressed against the other's neck was an indicator that there might be a problem.  Perhaps it was when the seated man’s eyes rolled back. Neah, it was the gurgling that said, “I think there might be a problem.” I don’t want to assume.

We all know what happens when we Assume. It makes an ASS out of U and ME.

Funny thing, I was thinking of Jocelyn as the young curly haired man was strangling the seated one. Image of her face is something I cannot erase. Curly hair, wide eyed.

Gurgling sound. Oh, yeah, I digress. Let's start from the beginning  

Mother's Day Excitement

Earlier this Sunday, I just finished watching the movie Thor. In 3D and in IMAX (If you are comic book fan, you would be pleased) Tried going to the Lancaster comic book shop, but just couldn't. Those days are over. It’s been too long time. Brings back too many memories.

Anyways, found myself in Barnes and Nobles (B&N) looking to kill some time. Couldn't get rid of this feeling. Maybe it was cabin fever, but I needed to do some reading. Couldn't stay home. Had a feeling the Lakers were going to get swept. Can’t explain, but when I get this vibe, I learned just Go. 

Time Finds Us, and Shall Find Us, Unafraid

Sat there for a moment, read some tour guide books. Looked at Boston one. Thought of pledging my frat Sig Eps, catching a game at Fenway Park, walking home past the Citgo Sign and doing the Grape Dance at the Gubernatorial Celebration party. Thought how I got on the "T" and found myself in downtown Boston. I found the Golden Apple and it was like being home again. It where I found the Dr. Fate issue. Its where I read that Captain Marvel Graphic Novel post

Art is Said to Be a Reflection of Society

Sitting at B&N waiting for something to happen, I picked up a few graphic novels. Death of Captain America, Man With No Fear, X-Campus, and a Thor one, too. Just saw the movie. Needed to up my Comic IQ. Time flew by. Must have been there a couple hours catching up on some good reading. I missed comics. Read an origins issue. Read the death issue. Read about battling storm giants and teenage angst issue. Comics are at the forefront of many societal issues: Racism, puberty, disease, and war.

Lessons Learned, Lessons Taught

Learned many important life lesson via comic book experience. Learned how to read, Learned how to draw. Learned how to steal. Learned how to bargain and negotiate. Learned about stories and story telling. Learned of perspective and looking for clues in the little things. Of course, I learned of fighting and why one should fight.  Got a good understanding of religion and mythology, too. Learned the mighty power of people needing heroes in their lives. Learned the importance of being a sidekick. (Not all of us can be Paul or John. Some of us need to be Ringo.)

For influencing a child’s imagination and developing moral and spiritual character, reading the Bible and Torah are fine and well. There are tremendous stories; however, if you ask a six or seven year old boy which would they rather read. A Star Wars story or Kings James Version of the Bible—I’ll let you guess.

Jocelyn liked to read comics, too.

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Samsara

Our paths crossed but a few times. However, our lives are intertwined. Brief were our visits, but long and life lasting. A mousy smile. Brown short hair, eyes that smiled with a knowingness. They say in romantic stories, that when I am with you I became a better person. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Didn’t like who I was becoming when I was with you. I fear that being with you I would be behind bars. This is an uncomfortable thing to discover. Looking back, I didn't see the anger and fear. Didn't understand the hostility. Maybe it was a test. Maybe it was just stuff. In the end, I fear my stuff was holding back at seeing the bigger picture. What I should have been learning with our encounters was Karma. What I remember is broken furniture and holes in the walls. There was more and I didn't see it at the time.

If asked if I loved you, the answer would be,“Yes.” Why it didn't work I will leave it to Karma and the Big Smile to reveal at another time. You had a way of touching me--connecting with me--that I will never understand. An attraction was there, but not in this lifetime. I am sorry that it didn’t work out and I am sorry for more things I can never explain or express.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Little consolation I imagine, but they are sent nonetheless.

In Samsara, the concept of transmigration and reincarnation, it is said we live 8 stages of life. Two from the past. Four for our present. Two for the next one.  In a story, it is said that people that we Love (and Hate) are forever intertwined. We had stuff from another life. Perhaps I was your wife and you my husband, Whatever it was, the stuff from a past had us keep us connecting. This I am sure of. 

Time has passed and I hope that we connect again. Stuff between us is still stuff between us. It is said, in some religious beliefs, they claims that we choose our parents at birth. It is this wish to desire the experience of a body that we are reborn, reincarnated. 

A thought exercise comes to mind. In one word, describe your Dad. In word, describe your Mom. You are the result, the combination of the two. They have life lessons to teach and you are the result of their teachings. Consequently, your life lesson teachers your kin how to answer their own transmigratory lesson plan.

If so, the mother and father I chose, I am thankful and grateful. Given freedom, given protection, given life traits I am still discovering. I would go on about Mom on this Mother’s Day, but everyday our Mother’s should be honored. Taking time one day out of the year to give thanks to all that our mother has given and sacrificed would fall woefully low. It is like asking how many angels can fit on top of a pin? It is like finding that point where the Earth ends and the Heaven begins. It is like telling someone you always loved , but haven’t seen, how much you love them.  I’ve been blessed with a great mother. I’ve been blessed with a special woman.

Robynn, you are a special woman and I pray on this day that our lives will connect again. Next time I am not sure when, but I hope its on happier and better terms. Samsara, Karma, Dharma—I’m sure they will take its course and I hope down road when our paths come together again we may take one that will bring smiles in our lives.