Real deal

Tour of California
Sitting at Vista Point. Waiting for the sunset. Supposed to go down in a few minutes. Haven’t been doing too many things lately. Haven’t been feeling right lately. Little things bother me more than they should. Feeling a bit disconnected. Going through the motions. Right then a moth flies on top of my head.

Okay, you got my attention. Cars are speeding behind me. Today has been a filled day. Watched a couple of flics: Our Wedding Day and Doing Wright. Both are love stories. Both had a theme. Both had a couple of going through the struggle and finding our way.  Saw the Amgen tour of California.

Wait. Sun is setting and I got to take my picture. Been awhile. Need to do this. I will be back.

Falling Off Wagon, Getting Back On
Been a long time since I did that. Too long. Used to be something I did everyday.  Lately, other things well, I let other things get in the way. Lost my way for a bit. Everyday’s everyday. Its getting dark soon Airplanes are leaving their streaks across the sky. White lines as push across the blue and yellow sky.

The light on the windmill flash. It pulsates every three seconds. Flash. . .Flash. . .Flash. I can see the ripples across the Palmdale lake. Winds are blowing the thistle and flowers in front of me. Wind and my back as the car races home.

Another  turns off the Highway here in Vista Point. Speeding across the highway, I understand why cars stop here. Some because they get tired. Some because they want to stretch their legs. I come here because I need to get perspective and let my heart get lighter.

Couldn’t help, but take a few pictures of these older couple at the Amgen race. They were just standing there with their bright orange shirts. Fanny pack strapped around their waste. Hats on top of the sunny day. What struck me was  this. They were holding hands. Just standing there holding hands. Couldn’t help, but think the last time I was holding hands with someone.

Lets Play, Star Wars
It was with Angelo. He wanted to go play. Star Wars. When does he not want to play Star Wars. It was just that warmth and connection that I sometimes miss. Thought about Chris and Jewel’s wedding. I took a picture when they were holding hands. Right before putting on the wedding band. Couldn’t keep my eyes off their hands.

It made me think when times were rough and things were in turmoil. Holding hands made things right. There was girl, Glitter,  I barely knew. We would go out. We held hands at times. For sometime, I felt connected to this person, even though we barely knew each other. It was new and it was fun. What meant the most was not the talking and other stuff, it was just the holding hands. Made me feel. . .Not Alone.

Just Fantasy, Not the Real Thing
Sitting at Sapphire with Chris’s friends. I knew that the guys were in trouble when the dancers would hold the guys hand. They couldn’t help but feel connected.

Closing Cues
Made me think of my days in sales. I would ask the buying question. Wait for the other one to speak. Watched for their body to relax and I knew. It was done. Just a formality next. Thought of Chris's friends getting rubbed on and flirted with. Right when the dancers got the grip, the guys were done. It wasn’t the stroking of the hair. It was the hand on the thigh. It was the holding of hands. Closed. They never knew what hit them.

Wouldn’t hold hands with the dancers because I knew it would be artificial. When you have had the real thing, being in Love, certain things you do and don’t do. Mine is holding hands. 

When I saw, the couple, who has got to be in their 70, holding hands. It brought me Hope. It brought me a warm fuzzy. Watching them holding hands at such an advanced age made think. . .They got the right stuff. They got the real, genuine article. Can always fool yourself and others with the fake relationships. However, can't get away from knowing the genuine article. Once you found that, simply No contest.

With This Ring. . .
Well, if you read this, take some time and hold hands. Tell me if you get that same feeling.That feeling of connection. Feeling of Strength. Feeling of Connectedness. Feeling of Love.Okay, go do it.

Good bye, now.

Defriend? Raise, Call, Or Fold

Frenemies
Don’t know why this is bothering me. Like me, don’t like me. Sometimes not getting a response on Facebook bothers me. Social network. Personal effrontery. Or Just didn’t get the message. Frenemies. A no response or too much response can be a bit unsettling. Social Networking Etiquette on what to do and not to do.

One new relative said it best, “This is Facebook, not a diary.”

  

A recent  TV commercial on a phone camera has Facebook Application. A lady wanting to hook up with one her friends on Facebook. Later, she finds out his profile picture was one of done 10 years ago. Saw a preview of a new indie film gave the premise of a girl actually going to the different places around the country to actually meet her Facebook friends in person.

One older relative thought Facebook was a bunch of gossip. After some Relative Drama, I find out that this is somewhat true. One cousin was having stuff. They put the stuff on blast and things were not good for a bit. There is real-ness in honest emotions. One feels genuineness. Anger, sadness, jealousy, love.

However, one may not want their laundry out in the open. In recent newscast, there has much to do about Facebook privacy policy. Facebook has not been informing its users that they are broadcasting their business in the internet universe without permission. (Check your privacy parameters on Facebook) Imagine all the stuff you put out there on Facebook being Googled. Its out there. I Googled myself. Some true. Others, just twitter junk. One of many Facebook protest articles

Leap? With Or Without You 
Reminds of that phrase Computer maxim. Garbage In and Garbage Out. Makes one want to reconsider what friends they have on their Facebook account. Accept the friend request so as not to be rude. Can’t much blame people when they don’t accept requests.

Getting a bit indifferent with the Facebook stuff. Steve Nash, Los Phoenix Sun, all-star guard said it best. Do I take the stuff said to heart? Or do I let wash over me like a duck’s back. It pretty much forces one decide to care or not to care. 

Could do pre-emptive strike and defriend a person? Or one can be cordial and just not say anything? To each his own. Be out there and try to tame this monster. Be recluse. Insulate yourself in the internet universe. Both are prudent and well-thought out.  Had good and bad experiences in both.

The non-response. The No comment on the post written. The not accepted friendship request.  The defriended Facebook and the chance real encounter. Can't avoid it. They are related. We eat at the same family parties, but we defriended each other.How does one handle the social awkwardness? Go on Blast. Leave things unsaid. Avoid at all cost.

I’m torn by this. I have been defriended by a couple of people. I have defriended others. There is the Hope that things will turn. Maybe it was a misunderstanding. Or maybe things hurtful things were said and the bell can't be unrung. Or is it the closure one needs. Saying to someone, I don’t want to play with you anymore has strength affirming effects.

Wrapped with uneasy thoughts, Why is this person not saying a thing? Was it intentional? Was it saying how important you are to the other person? Was it an accident?

Fairweather: Who's With Us?
Knowing each other by secondary relationship forces one to think of our own relationships. Don't want to be friends that aren't real. Don't want Fairweather friends. Watching for the wind to blow to see if they will be there or not. Live life under guise and false pleasantries. Or does one live straight talk. A delicate role. Don't want to live in either extremes.

Perhaps its like life on the internet universe. Living the life of an avatar. Makes one think of the thought experiment movies like Gamer and Surrogates. Makes one examine  what is the real you? Who are you? Are you the person on the Facebook with the different avatars. Or are you the person hanging out with family and friends? Are you the person living, working, playing? Or is that persona just a character your play?

Professional athletes, rock stars, and other celebriatti often use the third person when talking about themselves. Playing the role as manager I often had to don this hat of getting the job done. Other times, my role was that of the operator. A friend’s mother said it this way. Be a policy maker or a player. Be a coach, star, or role player. Its your choice.

Maybe it is a generational thing? Thought it was quite astute statement to read Jewel’s post to her hubby. This is FACEBOOK, NOT A DIARY. If you want stuff out there, then know that it may comeback to haunt you. If you chose to be a Hermit, and go in internet exile? Go. More power to you.

A Divided House Cannot Stand
I have just made peace people can find out whatever they want and if they want it badly enough. Moreover, whatever you put out in the universe, well, we all got to be accountable for whatever Judgment day comes. So live life with no regrets. Nothing to hide. Nothing to worry about. Well, that is my peace.

Guess, I will leave it to building Karma points. No physical harm. Feelings hurt a bit. Well, I could always defriend or I could ask why. Keep an open heart to those that are your frenemies. The stuff one is feeling could true or imagined. Maybe it is Poker: Raise, Call, or Fold. Two Feet In, Go For the Ride, Or Stop Playing. Well, that is 800+ words. Trust in the Universe.