This Year

Last day of the year.Thirty minutes before the new year rings in.

Review:  2014 it felt that there has been a wane. Some connections have waned and being social has not been high on the list. This is okay. Finally finished the 1000 cranes and that albatross hanging over these last few years, well, she's a gone. Just waiting on the paper work. Took Dorian for football practice this year and it just seems like yesterday I was riding the stationary bike watching Theresa's Zumba class. Hugged the big tree at Sequoia. Finished in the top 10 again for Nexercise. Been pretty consistent with some of the blogs.

Visited Walt Disney's grave and did not take as many pictures. Drew some and read some. Wasn't as connected with family as before and this is on me. Didn't visit Tatay as other years. Gas could have been an issue, but I think it is something deeper. Didn't church it as much.Should have taken more interest in their well being.

As for the upcoming year, Precie will be finishing school soon. Need a new ride. Will finish writing the piece work. Will knock more items off the bucket list before adding new ones in.

No words of wisdom this entry or in depth insight. Just catching the wave of Flow and seeing where it will take me. 2014, Thank You. 2015, let's see what you got.

Statue

Statuesque--This is how I would describe her. She's older but she reminds me of those Greek statues found at the Getty. Her raven hair tied back. Body is a pleasant proportion. Just Goldilocks What drew me were her eyes. Smoky. Listened to her talk a few times and she has this husky voice that draws one in. I would watch her through the glass and found her form solid.

Strengthened by the way she moves during the songs, she picks up things quickly and is not afraid to be up for others to follow. Not the best dancer in class, but she belongs up front. She reminds me of tennis player with the way she moves. Dressed in the most fashionable of outfits, I wonder what was her story.

Not ready to ask or start conversation. Just okay not knowing. Wonder if I knew her from another life. Maybe yes. There is a familiarity I am just not ready to confront. Maybe in time. Maybe never. What life happens to open up to. I am ready. No game plan. No contingency. Just whatever happens, happens.

Traveled to Forest Lawn. Glendale. Looking to knock off an item on the bucket list. Visit Walt Disney's Grave. It wasn't what I expected. It was nice and simple. No fanfare. Just hidden in the corner in a tiny patch. Unlike other markers. there was no giant statue up front. No overly exaggerated tombstone. It was nice and simple. A plaque on the wall with their first,last and middle name.

Sat there for awhile. Saying my thanks. Wondering and hoping that I would be endowed with some of Disney Magic.If I had my drawing book, I would have drawn something. Found a mouse ornament tied to one of the branches on the tree. It was next to a purple flower. Its funny. First time I stopped, I wasn't sure if this was it. Just saw a statue of a little mermaid. It was like one found at someone's home yard. Went and sat in the Mausoleum of Freedom. Had to look it up on the phone and get coordinates of where the Disney Grave was.

Earlier I accidentally gave a lady the wrong directions for Jimmy Stewart's Grave. Felt bad because she left before finding it and when she got in her SUV. It was too late. I read the directions again and before I knew it she was driving down ill. She did not see me swinging my arms. She just drove away missing her chance. Sorry.

After taking pictures and sitting with Walt Disney, I searched grounds for other notables. Found Erroll Flynn. Spencer Tracy. Also Casey Stengel. If you don't know, then its time to Google. Found these very inspiring. Some of the greatest in their professions and yet in the end, it was modesty that got my admiration. No fanfare. Just a simplicity that rings through the ages. In a couple of generations, these people will be long forgotten. Just getting an "Uh-huh" from the little ones that would care very little. Guess, getting older I find the simple things matter.

Theresa's Zumba class. For all accounts she should retire. However her staying power is incredible. Her classes are always full. There's a following that no new instructors can match. She's been doing for a couple of decades. When I first got started, she was the one I wold go to. Always high energy. She's got it. There's only one instructor that I think has the stuff to follow in her footsteps. Still consider her the best instructor I have ever seen.

Walking back to the car while taking some pictures of Forest Lawn, there were a few kids walking around reading the markers. Maybe they were visiting family. These grade schoolers were ones I would imagine saying, "Uh huh" with disinterest. Thought about saying, there is a very important person buried just two minutes away and you should pay respects. Role played it out. Have you ever heard of Disneyland? Its fun isn't it? There's this guy name Walt that created Mickey Mouse? He also founded Disneyland and Disney World. Etc. If you want to pay him a visit, it would be just a minute walk that way.

However, by the time I got there, they were already mid way down the hill whooping and hollering like kids should. Its funny, just minutes away and you are in front of greatness. Just at the time did not recognize it. People walked passed Disney's little garden. Not sure if they knew. Had this part of me that wanted to scream do you know who is right there? What held me back was the idea of seeming foolish.

Should have gone Geek on the time. Let them decide if it is worth the moment of pause.

Anyways back to Raven haired lady. Its funny how these moments come and go. Too long and the moment will have passed. Too soon and it will be off putting. Anxious. Too Eager. Moments is missed. So with an indifference, I am okay with the simplicity.Taking the moment and being there. If things fall into place, unforced, than one is lucky. Timing I found a factor in being in the Flow. Just got to be Goldilocks.

Fighting for Mirror Space

Quiet night, just the whir of the computer fan. ESPN is on mute and I write the thoughts of the day.
Almost a fight today in a Zumba class. Two forty something ladies were fighting over mirror space. Both a little diva-ish. Instructor needed to put hands on them both for them to stop. So disturbing I was asked to add my name to some complaints. Six or seven ladies were telling their story about this ongoing feud. Nobody likes the lady. Trying to understand the drama between the two.


Didn't want to pile on. Doesn't feel Christmas-y.

My body isn't what it used to be. Took a class before this and I wasn't in shape for it. Felt it during the next class. Legs felt heavy and I was lagging something fierce. Four hours in the gym. Two Zumba, Yoga, and a Body shaping class. Really feeling the cardio and weights. Burning calories wasn't objective. Bodyshaping was just surviving. In time, I will thrive. Just not today.

I feel for both parties. One is older Hispanic. Her eyebrows looked shaved off looks a bit Frankenstein-ish. She is good shape and she gets the routine. However, her best days are behind her. The other, the one no one likes, she holding on too tight. She has fake boobies and her makeup is for one that belongs in her teens. Double pigtails, looking Hello Kitty-ish. Her face is that of one maybe in her late early 50's. Both battling for Queen Bee status. Just drama. It feels the Testosterone fest is that of two battling for  their place in the hierarchy. Both like the frontline. Both are not bad. They just aren't young anymore.

As one lady said, "Getting Old Ain't for Bitches"

No one wants to be bitches. Fighting for dignity its a noble. However, I see age getting to some. Kobe Bryant has been the "Man" for most of his career. He is a first ballot Hall of Famer and we should see a statue of him in front of the Staple Center. However, his shot selection, defense intensity, and physical dominance are all suspect. Maybe a break is needed. Got to learn what its like to be Kobe-less.

When I stopped taking Zumba class, I needed to know that I can step away. I needed to know I can comeback. I am content with being the third row. There are times I know I should be up front because those there aren't as able. Still, when I see the joy of the front liners, it reminds me its okay to take a step back.

This drama happens. Having ageing rams battle for top of the mountain status. Its nature. Won't go into tactics and strategy, its just learning the rules of the game and determining the best course of action to find success.

Offered to be the go between next class. Hope she doesn't take me up on the offer. I rather enjoy self and others instead of trying to make nice and lead the way. Its lonely at the top and life's too short to be fighting for mirror space.

Night Time Random Thoughts

Inside Man on HBO is playing and soon I should be fast asleep. Bed is getting too comfortable. The blowing fans next door are keeping the Christmas decorations inflated. Its steady hum has become part of the nighttime sounds. Window open, the crispness of the air causes me to hug my blanket tighter. Slowing down my heart rate, weighing my eyes heavy.

A giant Elf, droopy Snowman, and Harley Santa straddling a chopper--These are my evening companions. Looking down I think, "Not my flavor." I am more of a minimalist traditionalist. Icicle lights and the easiest to set up Holiday lawn accouterments. Usually two lighted reindeer. Neighbor's yard looks too cluttered. Needs to be placed different. Needs to tell a story instead of just being placed haphazardly. There's something for having a negative space. Next door looks like my grade school nephew's bedroom, Tornado Alley.

First official day of Winter and I find myself content. Few work friends/ associates approved friend requests. Discovered the nephew of an Ex got out of hospital. Recovered from a motorcycle accident months back. Considered sending a FB request. It seems a bit Hinckee.  FB stalking of an old ex is not one confesses to. Stalking is a strong word, Looking up old close friends, who is not part of your life anymore, well, its awkward. You would like to know they are doing well because you were once close. But there is a reason you aren't together, what that is you can't quite recall. Having and giving FB privileges to Exes, there are drawbacks. Right now the benefits aren't outweighing the risks.

She seems to be in a good place, posting stuff about finding Soul Mate. Cringe. Admittedly, when the break up occurred years back, there was an okay-ness to it. Anger and sadness, sure. However, at graduation ceremony seeing her face, tears and guilt, it was understandable. There was connection there and it was strong. Yet, this was inevitable. Perhaps, I always knew she was not to the One. Just thankful at the time spent together. Hearing the clapping, the hooting and hollering of family and friends, receiving the diploma and taking the customary picture with the available school dignitary--There is a relief and sadness to the closing of this chapter in life. Travelling down the road and seeing its end. Knowing one can never go back because that part of your life is over.  

What is okay to share? Life goes on. Looking at the timeline of a new FB friend, a former boss. I am happy to see this person newly married and with newborn. Last, this person with going through a rough separation and tough custody chicanery. What appears is thus person is holding steady in the company. In the upper ranks, but I am not sure what this person's standing in the corporation. There's been a recent influx of VP with the recent buyout of Ballys.

Spoke with a sales associate and learned he was a former VP from that same company. He left the company months ago. (Former because he got caught being shady) He was newbie in this company working for a competitor in the same industry. Learned with the recent acquisition, there's been growing pains. Organizational upheavals and shaking out of rising up and comers is the drama pf the day.Little drama is nice, but navigating through that thicket. One lesson I hard learned, one often forgets what the prize is.Can't see the forest because the face is deep in the trees. 70 hour weeks, strained relationships, and poor balance--Been there done that.Thank You, but I would rather not have another

Life happens fast.

Borrowing a line from one of my favorie early 90's movie, "Its not all Bad."

Sounds of the AV

Dogs barking across the way. Their howls echo through the housing tract. Its light out now. Normally, their shouts in the night resonate during the hour of the wolves. I feel sorry for those neighboring the raucous kennel. Its not really a kennel. Its more. . .a club of upset canines, voicing some outrage I can't pretend to understand. My guess they are bored and need some space some leg room. From the timbre and resonance, these pups are no chihuahuas. My guess its husky, with strong ties to their wolven brethren. Good lungs with no problem of cardio. Their jam sessions can last a good half hour. Wonder if there have been any public complaints? After a few weeks of this, one would assume "For Sale" signs would be part of the sensible landscape of the front yard. Still no such decor.

Echoes of planes fly overhead. Their passing causes cars and windows tremble. Such is the life in the Antelope Valley. An airport a few miles away. Lockheed, NASA, and Skunkwork are adjacent. Airplane parks sits yards away from the entrances. A few Boeing 747s are parked in the morning. Can't imagine a commute like? No stops at the AM/PM for gas. Just a short jaunt on the company plane and back for soccer practice hundred miles. Aviation is big here. Big skies, open space, and sunny weather 320 day out of the year--Its an ideal place for such an industry. Its large part of the workforce here. A renewed government contract means no layoffs for cities of the AV.

Noise here isn't bad. We got a lot seniors in the area. Hearing loss can be an asset. I rather have the occasional fly by and canine concert than the disgruntled sounds of traffic congestion and  gangland shooting in the metro of urban life. We chose to be where we are. We chose to live in the places to call Home.

Another car speeds by. Must be late for something to race by so speedily. Another planes passes overhead. The roars resonates throughout the valley. It lasts a good minute. Sometimes, there is a boom. Car alarms goes off once in awhile. Thankfully, the sonic vibrations are not as frequent as before.

The dulcet tones of high school bell signals, third period is over. Knight high school band will be practicing in a few hours. Right after school is over. The percussive beats will occupy the nearby neighborhood. Luckily, they are good band and their music is pleasant. USC's fight song is their favorite. Hate to think if they sucked. It couldn't be worse than dogs barking, planes booming overhead, and cars racing by.

So headphones on and the weekend begins. Time to beach it and gets some quiet.

Kids today

So I write. Kids outside are kicking the soccer ball. They do so almost every single day. They shout and scream. They bounce the ball and throw with an enthusiasm. Don't hear that much of late on other streets. Many kids are on the Xbox playing Minecraft or their glued to their IPad and Tablet watching Youtube watching others play Minecraft. I guess?

Different time. Different hopes. Used to go out in desert, amongst the tumbleweed and Joshua trees. Creating forts from loose building supplies in the ever expanding housing tract.Using PVC and leftover wrought iron. Cinder blocks and discarded sofas illegally dumped from the night. I cringe at the idea now these days at what mites and gobbledygook lay encrusted on those sofa pillows.

Maybe its better I don't.Don't want to reminisce too heartily. During my day, there was 3 billion people in the world. Now its more than double that. Trash float in garbage islands in the sea. The State of my birth is experiencing a severe drought. Cold War with Russia fueled movies like Red Dawn and Rambo. Couple years there will be another presidential election and the direction of the country will change. Change as has it always been. Ineffective lawmakers and bewildering justices interpreting the rule of law in the land.

Today, Sony pictures decided to pull an offbeat movie called the Interview. In fears of Terrorist reprisal, the mega movie company bows under the pressure. Maybe its fearful of the damages that might occur. Perhaps there wasn't enough profit to be made. Calls of cowardice rings in the air. Media is trying to spin the story. Its a let down. Not enough Y Chromosome methinks. Standing up to bullies is the way to stop bullying. This lack of backbone invites others to pile on.

I don't know. Maybe its a way to root all potential rivals. Let them take their shots. Maybe pull a rope a dope. Find out who are all these naysayers and open a can whoop ass. I don't know. Sun Tzu said  many things and I know there is a strategy to all this. I'm sure there is a tonnage of information that we the public aren't privy to. Still, all I can do is shake my head and wonder. Thinking of the scene with Will Macavoy in the TV series The Newsroom. First episode, first scene. Speech to "Sorority Girl"

So maybe it quixotic to think times we're better then than what it is today. I don't know. Maybe its time to just decide to do better. So I will breathe and take in the moment. Cuba and US are beginning steps to normalize relationships. Spoke to retired military guy last night about it. He's from the old school when Cuba was a thing. This embargo has been going on for fifty plus years. Fidel isn't dead. Our island neighbor is reportedly poorest of poor. How can long can we hold on to this status quo? Heard this is a slap in the face to the Father of Cuban descent on the radio. I mean do we hold on to the anger and hate. Wait until the Castro dies. I don't know. Just seems after fifty years, half a century. Holding to that way of life just doesn't seem effective. I know Anger fuels people. Still?

So I write and document my thoughts and Hope that life gets better. Hope that first step isn't the last step. Hope that kids playing in the street is better than those getting kidnapped and dying in the streets. Hope that biggest concern the children today is not whether they will have something to eat or place to sleep. Hope is what can kids playing soccer in the streets and building forts in mindecraft do better tomorrow than what we are doing today.

TV Has Its Place. Just Not Today

Rainy day. Clouds cover the snow capped San Gabriel mountains. A car passes by. Honks the horn and waits for the kids to lock the door. A few crows caw, but the children are still not ready. The hum of lawnmower grows to a steady roar. The horn blows again because the kids are playing around and Big Brother has a date to get to.

Its brisk again, while another car drives past. Door slams and the Big Brother's anxious voice could be heard with the door closed. It must have been awhile since he has seen his girlfriend. A couple of hours is my guess. Betting that the parents won't be home for a couple of hours so that time alone is being stalled by the deadline immune little ones. Their biggest care is the newest design for the Minecraft world. Gold ingots and zombies are his concern. Not the Sophomore cheerleader his older brother is trying to get to. In time, that may be the case, but the clouds are heavy and the downpour may begin again.

A knock on the door remains unanswered. From the looks out the window, its a salesperson of one nature. Perhaps its Hoover vacuums. They usually come by this time. They are only here one day and they are setting appointments for demonstrations. Usually, young college kids being hauled in white vans. I suspect there is something more nefarious in this tactic, but I try to give the benefit of the doubt. Knocking on some strangers door to vacuum their carpets is a bit more stressful than one would imagine. Such is the nature of sales.

Crows are still calling out. Not sure for what. Maybe looking for a mate. Maybe its a warning for other carrion considering invading their territory. Maybe its a song about the rain.

School is out soon. Winter break is just two days hence. Then for three weeks it will be home filled with joy and boredom. Nothing to do that brings a smile to face. Than Nothing to do that turns that smile upside down. It will be short lived. Soon the break will come to an end and that vacation will be shorter than what they ever imagined. If they have gumption to fill their days with stuff they like. If they hide away the time sucker, TV, then perhaps this ennui will pass.

TV has became a conduit to a better life. Excitement of NCIS. Funny Banter of the Newsroom. The endless jibber jabber of Professional football. People forget time is short and before too long these rainy days of causing our older brother headaches are what brings smiles to our face. We will forget the super fantastic castle we built on Mine Craft. We will forget those times working soul draining jobs like Hoover Vacuum appointment setters. We will enjoy the quiet sounds of the rain falling. The loving rain songs of crows on snow capped mountain day.

TV has its place.However, today, it belongs for something else. It belongs for those inane things that will bring smiles to our faces many years from now. Whether jumping on newly formed puddles with the nephew, whether its making croissant hot dogs in the oven, or whether its half-filled high school gym rooting for 121 lb wrestler to get a major decision against its cross town rival, Today, it belongs to making a story for my own show in my head. Today is for making my re-runs for tomorrow. So splash, smash, or gash, today is for today.