2011, Thank You. 2012, Pleasure Meeting You

Last day of the year. Less than 12 hours I will be in Long Beach watching my high school friend get married. Rinnes is a terrific person. Two great kids. She going to marry a nice fellow. Met him once. At her Father's funeral. Not the best circumstance to meet. Still Carl is a good man and from the party afterwards, he had many a good friends that loved him so. They played and sang songs. Used to play with the guy from La Bamba.

Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,
and never thought upon;
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone:
Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold,
that loving Breast of thine;
That thou canst never once reflect
on Old long syne.

It was weird being there. I saw Rinnes a few months prior. We changed, but many things hadn't. We can never go back to the person we once were. In the same respect, we remain the same. Things that can't be altered without great effort.

My Heart is ravisht with delight,
when thee I think upon;
All Grief and Sorrow takes the flight,
and speedily is gone;
The bright resemblance of thy Face,
so fills this, Heart of mine;
That Force nor Fate can me displease,
for Old long syne.

Going to see people I haven't seen in decades. People that knew me before. People that knew how I was. In a sense, I am fearful. Just the look in their eyes. How once we were once close and to see a look. I sense this look when I think of her.

Still, light needs to shine. We need her to breathe. . .to grow. . .to burn. . .and to be reborn.

Since thoughts of thee doth banish grief,
when from thee I am gone;
will not thy presence yield relief,
to this sad Heart of mine:
Why doth thy presence me defeat,
with excellence divine?
Especially when I reflect
on Old long syne

We hold secrets that must be set free. We must let go of stuff that holds us back. It fills its purpose of protecting. We hold on to these dreams, these ideals, the fears, these hopes, these machinations that need to be discarded. . .to be passed on. Discarded, I mean, to be returned. . .to be recycled. To Return Home.

We need this. Coming home. We need an accounting. We need these pause, these times of reflections, these times to thank those helped us to get where we need to be. Those that carried us when we fallen. Those that we must Pay It Forward. We are Star Dust and so much more.We need to Marshall our forces for the Now and the Future.

We ready ourselves, for the next step. Leaving what we once were to Embrace what we need to become.

Auld Lange Syne

2011, Thank You. 2012, I Look Forward to Knowing You

Scream Laughter

Aaahhhh!!!

Enthusiasm is Infectious

There was movie made long ago. Life Is Beautiful. Never saw it. It won an Academy Award. What I remember most was not the winning, but it was the celebrating. Roberto Begnini was so joyous and exuberant that he jumped out of his seat. Walked on seats. He began to shout and scream with laughter. Such genuine joy, no one could not be infected by this. Could not stop smiling. You Tube Video of Roberto Begnini accepting Academy

Scream Laughing Therapy For the Doldrums

One thing I do when I am with my nieces is scream. We have the sunroof open and we just start screaming. I start with a giggle. Then 0 to 100 mph, in ten seconds. Then a laugh, then I go to the extreme. I sceam in laughter. Loud. Yes, it is fake. Loud and fake. Loud and vein popping. People in cars next to us just start looking at us while I scream in laughter. Yes, I do try to embarrass my nieces.  They just can’t help but smile. They just can’t help but start giggling and smiling. It helps when you are in a car with family and friends. Stuck in traffic. No one can get away. They start to giggle. Captured audience, literally. If they are drinking something, you get bonus points when fluids shoot out their nose.

Fake It, Til You Make It

I mean. Fake Scream Laugh until it feels like you are passing a kidney stone. Got to show enthusiasm. Be ridiculous. This is not for the faint of heart. Veins must be popping. Face should be reddening. Sides should begin to hurt. Once on a roll, the thought of stroking out is not uncommon. Can’t think of a better way to go. Laughter becomes contagious. Throwing caution to the wind. laugh until you can’t catch breathe. Personally, I see them smile and I begin to cry in joy. Ask them.

Toothy Smile Is How It Begins

Others just can’t stop laughing. Hearing someone laugh with such enthusiasm. People, as a rule, can not help it. First its a smirk. Then a smile. Then it becomes an open mouth smile. Do it right people will begin to giggle. Mouth open. Releasing the hormones of laughter is good. Ever watch Patch Adams. Medicinal laughter is not new.

At Times, Life is a Joke. Might As Well Get Paid.

My friend Corrine did stand up comedy. She was good, I hear. She has lived a challenged life. I know it. Caught some short previews when the material for her works was being made. She is happier now. From what I read on her Facebook page I see the hard times have not made her a hard person. I find her strong and happy now. She should stop smoking though. If you are reading this Corrine, Stop.   

A red headed hurricane. She hates that. She is a whirlwind. Never thought this was a bad term of endearment. She makes an impact on your life. Death and destruction is not her way. Okay, a little destruction. Its okay we need to clear things away at times. 

She is an emotionally deep. She is a Scorpio. Strong. Tough exoskeleton. A Wicked sting. With a skill of reinventing herself. She cares and she steps up. No, she is not sheep. At times she was not always fitting at times. However, she was Queen. Whether in online land or ICC, sorry about the trash thing. Should have backed your play. Corrines, you are someone to admire. Someone to look up to.

 

Black Box for Relationships: Cramnarttocs

Rinnes, I don’t care what others think. Some may not like you. I am not one of them. I love ya. To those that have hate in their heart, defriend them. 

Remember, some people get stuck. People get blocked. Sometimes a flush up the anus will clear the crap. Its okay, they are plugged up. A friendship enema. What is stuck inside them will hurt them more than they do you. Sepsis of the soul. Karmic Crap. People are cranky. Bowels obstructed would make most feel uncomfortable. 

Thar She Blows. . .

Backup not a pretty sight. Just watch out when they blow. Diarrhea of anger and hate. They get rancid inside.Some get past Freud's oral stage. However, others are stuck in the Retentive. Explosion, not always a pretty sight. Chunks of crap splattered on the side of the white porcelain. Just Flush. They don't the have Fiber of Love. The stuff to pick and clean that gunk inside.  Its pretty unsightly. If you can pray and send Love, then maybe the colitis of can be removed away. Remember Nuts are not good. Lincoln logs need to expelled. Just flush. Nice imagery. Poop.

Open the Door, Damn It

Poop. Poop. Poop—Okay I’m done.

At any rate, where do I go now with this enema metaphor?

Hmmmm. Bathroom?

Well, gotta run. Nature is calling. Seem like an appropriate place to end. 

Why? Shit happens. And You Gotta Go, Go. Just Flush. Please Flush. Don't want to smell your stuff. It Stinks.

Karmic Dances

Manhattan beach parking lot. Next to lifeguard towers. Sand on my feet and my parking meter has nine minutes. Bootleg of Up in the Air is on my flash drive now. Planned on going to Michelle’s house but I got no word about it. They had a thing yesterday and I thought today. Maybe I am wrong. Left them a message on email and voice-mail.

Kevin and the kids are going to Papa’s dance recital. Surfers are gearing up. Ladies are paying for the parking meter. Dressed in funny outfits. Quarters drop in and drop out. They are overweight. All of them. I’m overweight, too, so I can say crap like that. Not happy with weight, but I’m working on that. Read a post of some guy with my last name. He made this girl cry. She wearing jeans and a fanny pack  was jogging down the street. He paused and said, “You’re fat.” She left teary eyed.

I started replying, “No comeback. Maybe this will prompt her to get in better shape and if she can’t take a joke fuck it.” I decided not to reply because didn’t really want to engage in Facebook conversation. I’ve learned that this out-loud brashness may be masking this Facebook friend's pain. This insensitivity and the need to create shock value for this person is either smoldering pain or just bluster. I am sure he has good inside and he knows what he is doing. I will say this, “Karma can be a Bitch.” The not so nice talk says a lot, but those that like to psychoanalyze, I will leave at that.

Spoke to Ms. Potter and I reminisced on not being so nice. “No, you can’t sleep here tonight.” “No, I don’t want to look up your skirt, I rather read a book.” ‘She Kisses like a lizard.” These words haunt me because I realized how stupid and mean I have been. Maybe I had the need to put a facade. Maybe the filter from my brain and mouth were shear. Yup, they were pretty transparent. To those I spoke these words to and about, please accept my apologies.

Didn’t mean to scar or hurt because I know choice words can leave oh so painful scars. Been judicious with my words for some time now. Plus, I have been more accepting of nature of people. Trying not judge and just to see people honestly and openly. Those I found that have the nature to so say not so nice things are really hurting inside. I see the nature of those that take years and years of unkind words. They lash out in pain and/or become stand-up comedians.

Can’t tell you how much I admire Rinnes and Jason. Suffered so unkind words and they flipped it. Lost weight and more focused than I will ever want to be. Another, she’s found a good man and has great kids. She found a calling and accepted the therapeutics of comedy.

Personally cringe a bit inside when I hear “Bad Boy. If you don’t do this, I will take this away.” I understand this and accept it.The raised voice is there. Heard and said it. I am not a parent, not a real parent, so I can’t comment or criticize. I can only observe and just listen. At times, I say and show a different way to handle things. For me, whenever shouted at or threatened, it only strengthened my resolve and it stirred my need for payback.

Well, I am trying to rid the hate in my heart. Don’t want to carry that Karmic headache. I understand the wrath and it is fun to lay down the wood, but its temporary. I try to bring love and laughter to heart that’s healing. Ocean waves are crashing. Parking lot time was up 25 minutes ago and I got to pee. Too much tea. Thank you, good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.